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A Positive Self-Image
for Your Pre-Teen
PAGE 2 OF 3

PRESSURE-POINT 1: Concerns about looking different; judging one's appearance by white standards
EARLY SYMPTOMS: Asking or complaining about own physical appearance, expressing desire to dye hair, get surgery to change the face or body
PREVENTIVE MEDICINE: Spend time where Asians are the predominant population; watch Asian movies, TV shows and videos
     The desire to look like everyone else is generally the first symptom of the conflict caused by exposure to racial stereotyping. It is usually easy to spot as it manifests itself while kids are between the ages of 4 and 6, while they are too young to consider dissembling their motives. If not addressed early on, it also manifests itself in subtler forms throughout childhood and early adolescence.
     In some ways, this is the easiest pressure-point to deal with, at least in its early stages. It can be addressed effectively just by spending a few days in an Asian nation or even places in the U.S. like Hawaii, Torrance, Monterey Park, UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC Irvine, L.A. Koreatown, Hacienda Heights -- wherever Asians outnumber Whites and are clearly in the dominant population. Regular exposure to large numbers of Asians every few weeks is enough to counteract the effects of the "whitewashing" of one's standards of beauty and normalcy. If it's impractical to travel to Asian places, providing access to Asian TV programs, videos or books and magazines is the next best thing. These measures won't entirely overcome concerns about looking different but will definitely take the edge off.

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PRESSURE-POINT 2: Being embarrassed about Asian food, customs, culture and decor
EARLY SYMPTOMS: Complaining about being given Asian lunches or meals, reluctance to invite friends over, complaining about food smells, hiding or suppressing Asian objects and decor in their rooms
PREVENTIVE MEDICINE: Show the importance of Asian culture to American life by pointing out examples of Asian influence over everyday things they take for granted
     Most kids aren't receptive to long lectures on history or culture, but even the most jaded are inordinately impressed by the kinds of bite-sized "gee-whiz" trivia that can be related to their own lives. A bit of research will reveal thousands of examples of Asian influences on everyday American life.
     A few examples include:

• spaghetti noodles, mustard, ketchup and gunpowder originated from China;

• Coreans invented the moveable type 700 hundred years before Gutenberg, the ironclad ship 370 years before the Monitor and the Merrimack and the world's first written language based on a systematization of phonetics;

• a Japanese courtesan authored the world's first novel (Genji-no Monogatori, The Tale of Genji) 7 centuries before the English Tristram Shandy, the first western novel;

• until the middle of the 18th century, Chinese culture and civilization was considered the world's richest and most sophisticated;

• Corean Koryu celadon ceramics are considered the world's most sublime in hue and design and is widely imitated by western ceramicists and designers;

     You can also make small observations to place Asian food and customs in a favorable light. For example,

• chopsticks are a more elegant, aesthetic and versatile dining implement than knifes and forks;

• tea, the quintessential Asian beverage, is much better for your health than coffee;

• Chinese cuisine scientifically incorporates the five flavors of sweet, sour, spicy, salty and bitter so as to satisfy the human palate without the need to unhealthily gorge oneself;

• Corean women traditionally kept their own surnames, a far more feminist custom than the western one of adopting their husband's;

     You'd be amazed at the extent to which these little tidbits inspire far more cultural pride in your kids than long learned lectures. Also, you'd be surprised at how much they stimulate an interest in learning more about Asian culture which, in turn, will inspire even more pride.

PRESSURE-POINT 3: Worrying that Asian Americans aren't really American
EARLY SYMPTOMS: Blindly embracing schlock and rhetoric that seem to embody American-ness and automatically rejecting anything that seems "foreign"
PREVENTIVE MEDICINE: Point out the many ways in which Asians have been an integral part of American history and social development
     One of the unfortunate impressions that American media and society tend to create in the minds of our kids is that Asians are newcomers to American life. Nothing could be further from the truth! Asians have played a key role in the development of the United States since the middle of the 19th century, decades before the arrival of the vast majority of the ancestors of our caucasian fellow-Americans! PAGE 3

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