ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%
.......sigh.... This is crazy! I just want to say I am a black man and who I represent is me. People have to learn that one group of people do not all share the same mentality. I know some shallow people who know nothing about black people will judge the things I do as the guide to black men, so I try to carry myself with respect and character. At the same time, I will date and seek whomever I choose. I am my own person. I don't care what Africans said and I don't care what African-American said, I am me. All someone can do is get to know me and determine who I am based on what I present. Ignorance will be here forever. Don't kid yourself. I'm not sure who said it first, but whoever said a person must love and accept themselves before others will, hit it right on the nose. This is all too true! I think many of you need to stop buying into this bullsh_t you hear from other people, media, etc. and get out into the real world and meet people. That is how you learn and experience things. If one of your experiences turn out to be bad, get up and keep going. Stop being so weak. I am so tired of hearing "the black guy I dated did this, so watch out because they do ____" All of any group of people do not do one thing. Please remember that. Lastly, I love women. I am really attracted to Asian women. Why? I love their features. I love that silky black hair and those beautiful eyes. Of course when looking for someone special I have to look more deeper than that, but that is what attracts me first. I am not Asian, so of course some things I may not understand or know about her culture. But because I am a respectful person, I will be sure to open my mind and heart to her. Otherwise what's the purpose in getting involved. I just hope many of you can learn to just live your lives. There will always be people trying to hurt you or mislead you if you let them. Take time to better yourself. Build yourself on solid foundations and not shaky ones. At some point you have to take responsibility for your happiness and see to it that your goal is achieved. It won't be easy, but if it was, you would not understand the reason you should appreciate and cherish all you have fought for.

By the way, what's with the "..I do this for a living" and "My job is..." stuff? Is this supposed to make the reader think you are more intelligent or that you are telling the truth? C'mon now...
Stand Alone enolas_enoelroc@hotmail.com    Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 06:24:52 (PST)    [172.140.194.41]
To Nicholi Servia:
In many of your earlier posts, you made a lot of statements about how the Chinese, Koreans etc are very much against interracial dating and marriage. For your information, Africans too are often passionately opposed to an African marrying somebody who is NOT of African ancestry. As a child growing up in Nigeria, this was something that I have witnessed again and again. Once in a while, some local boy would return from studies abroad with a foreign wife. When this happens, his family used to react like there a death has just taken place in that family. There would loud wails of anguish from the men, accompanied by a lot of indignant chest thumping. And the women would go out of their way to roll in the dust while sobbing disconsolately.
If you are an African going abroad for further studies etc, your family will often sit you down before you leave and warn you NOT to come back home with a Caucasian or Asian wife etc. Blacks from other parts of the world are generally accepted as part of the family. Nicholi, you said something in an earlier post about an African student with a pretty Chinese girl friend who worked as a nurse. According to you, the Chinese girl friend wanted to get married, but the African did not want to. I suspect the African might be worried about conflicts with his family if he returns home with a Chinese wife in tow.
During my stays in Bombay and New Delhi (India), I witnessed many instances of African students with Indian girlfriends they have been going with for sometime. The young Indian woman in question wants to get married, but the African they are going with does not want to get married because they worry about how their families would react when they return home. I saw the same thing happening in Europe between Africans and their angry French, British, Italian, German etc girlfriends. The European girls are often extremely angry because they have invested so much in the relationship.
Even in the absence family pressure, not many Africans believe in marrying people who are not Blacks. During my student days, I knew many other students from Africa who readily establish relationships with women of other ãracesä if that satisfies a physical need. However, these same Africans would never think to marry any of these women. Finally, there are those Africans who are physically repelled by the notion of engaging relations or marriage outside of their own ãraceä. Such Africans are perfectly happy to have people of other ãracesä as their good friends, neighbors, co-workers etc. they simply do NOT believe in intimate relations with people who are not Blacks.
Sam    Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 04:41:50 (PST)    [141.153.250.242]
Tony,

The Philippines is an Asian country. And in that sense, Filipinos are indeed an Asian people. In my earlier post, I said that Asians are a very diverse people. You also find extreme diversity within each Asian country. Take Filipinos for instance. There are three broad classes of Filipinos, namely:
a. Pinoys, the indigenous Filipinos
b. Castillaloys, or Filipinos with at least part Spanish ancestry, and
c. Chinoys, the Filipinos of Chinese ancestry.
Filipinos are often regarded as the Latins of Asia and are a very interesting people.
Sam    Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 04:40:19 (PST)    [141.153.250.242]
Thor
The simple fact is that "yes" as black men we do have a negative image fostered and promoted by the film industry, tv, and sadly "more" by ourselves. Many of us have made personal choices to do this, so why blow the roof off when someone addresses this perception of us? Many of us believes these images to be "cool" and "all good". I see an apparent issue in that thinking alone. This isn't by any means the first time that this subject has been discussed either in this froum, or outside of it. A sister from Philadelphia wrote a very compelling book about these very issues/concerns. It was entitled; "The Black Woman's Guide To Understanding the Black Man". Author: S. Ali. In her book she addressed the various images that black men embrace that contribute greatly to how we are viewed (negativitly) by the general population.
There was a lot of truth and extremely good data in her book, and brothers back then adhered to the same response that I've witnessed time and again in here. That is to "slam" anyone that disagrees with them, or even bothers to submit their opinions. Pardon me, but I'm still somewhat confused by how anyone in here "ever hopes" to meet a Asian female with that kind of an attitude towards not respecting their views/opinions. As, both a black man and a father of a young black male I certainly don't desire for my son to get himself "locked into" that kind of mindset because I realize that'll only lead to him getting "locked up" or "killed". I work as Parole Officer I have 63 parolee's to monitor, of those 63 55 are black men between the ages of 19 - 36 I hear more frightening things from young black men in America about how cool it is to go to jail, carry a gun, shoot somebody, about not wanting to work hard in school because that's not "cool", and that selling drugs is a quicker way of making money. Or better yet finding some woman (be she Asian, White, Black, or Lation) that will take care of them. That's nothing but "pimp" & "playa" mentality. And I see black men defending/promoting those images all the time. I also beleive that problem exist because of the large numbers of fatherless black children period, be they male or female. If you want "real" respect and want people to look at us differently then let's please try to take care of our children. Both the ones at home, and those that we've made elsewhere.
If you don't want people to view you in such a negative manner than work harder at bettering oneself. There are many who have, and still are. And I know from personal experience that there are many brothers out there that know they need to make some changes, but can"t (because it involves personal commitment on their part).
Paul    Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 16:11:46 (PST)    [152.163.189.170]
Oh, no here we go again ....so it appears. I'm just fed up with black men in here always broaching the image issue. I don't care whether you agree or disagree, but black men in America for the most part "do" in fact have an image problem, and it doesn't matter all that much who you talk to be they white, brown, yellow, or even black. I hear black people talking about the negative images of black men all the time, so what's the problem when everyone else does it also? And, please don't bother to use Hollywood as a scapegoat ...which always seems to be the focus. Yes, they are a contributor, but we choose to embrace both negative behavior and attitudes in a childish attempt to be viewed as being "cool", "hip", "slick", or whatever! Because, I see many instances of negative images being projected everyday that has "absolutely nothing" to do with Hollywood, White people, Asian people or any other people. Even in here when some (black men) of us fail to show "respect" for other's opinions, but we get all uptight when we feel as though others don't afford us the respect. It's nothing but a game, and we simply need to "stand down", grow up, and move onto more constructive elements of life. To be honest if I were an Asian female and I visited this site I'd just move on, because the black men in here are always whinning, and complaining about something or other. Perhaps, that's also a factor as to why relationships between AF/BM are as they are.
If we as black men have an image issue then let's not waste time moaning and groaning about them all the time like we have nothing better to do. Instead let's hopefully learn from this process, facilitate the appropriate changes and try to make improvements, accept the responsibility and embrace this ultimate challenge. But, I know many won't do that, but only continue with the endless chatter. As a black man I know what the "real deal" with us is, so we can post until the cows come home, but unfortunately that won't resolve the issue. Lastly, not trying to be negative, but many brothers have a serious problem with telling the truth, so I'm not all that sure as to the validity of the posted comments here.
Maurice Harris    Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 13:57:14 (PST)    [64.12.96.237]
Who are these 'bruvas'? aliens from a different planet or what?

What is all this PC nonesense, damn.
Mizan    Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 13:09:10 (PST)    [213.107.224.5]
Vincent
I agree with you. What a character. I do think that we propably need to send him "hooked on phonics) that may help.....maybe.
Geoffrey    Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:20:19 (PST)    [152.163.189.170]
I'm currently a surgical resident/medical scientist in training
@ a top US Hospital and a brother.

And,yes ,I was the only "brotha" in Toronto's Chinatown on Thanksgiving day [ENJOYING] Dim Sim...this was as close
as I will get to Beijing for awhile...
given my current committments...and digged it !It was great !!

Questions:
1.Who decided that "brothas" are not-or-
should not consider themselves the
'Coup de Grace' in the first place?

2.What current factors occurred to enhance negative perception towards "brothas"?

3.Is it FBI crime statistics? Jerry Springer?The infamous "text" the "bell curve"? Proposition 209 legislation??

4.What does "image issues" mean ?
and are fantasy fetishes solely exclusive
to "brothas" ? We only make up 16% of
the population w/ approx.w/14,000,000
incarcerated.....so(anectdotally) who is enjoying the majority
of "fetishing" ???

5.Why do "we" get so caught up/exist w/in in these rather trite social cliches?????

Final analysis:

1.People are People..they all have their idiosyncracies...quirks....and preferences and misinformation.

2. I'm w/ Jill..it's about the "R" word.

3.In Ny/East Coast people "kick it" w/ whom the please and dare anyone to have
a problem w/ it...and the intersting thing is most of the 11,000,000(that we know about) don't care either way...

Thor39 checknet@hotmail.com    Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 01:07:42 (PST)    [209.114.157.56]

[Ease up on the carrieage returns unless you want future posts ethered. --Ed]
Tony;

Philippine people are ignorantly called Asian people just for their looks.

If you were scientifically accurate, the Philippines, all the other islands near it and Australia would be reffered to as OCEANIA.
Nicholi Servia PHD EMP Nicholiservia@hotmail.com    Monday, December 09, 2002 at 16:50:05 (PST)    [211.156.11.222]
Geoffrey:
He's so full of himself that pointing out spelling errors rolls off him like water on a duck.
The fact is that people because of human nature are starving for attention from people who are "starving for attention"
When we stop feeding the monster it will surely die. So many other things to focus on here like comments by Asian women who are interested in Black men.
After all according to the "PHD" we are lucky that he finally arrived to save us from ourselves, as I laugh my azz off.
Regards brother,
Vincent    Monday, December 09, 2002 at 13:11:19 (PST)    [153.104.214.108]
It would be wonderful to see more Black and Asian couples period.There is no good reason for there not to be more black asian couples.
Blackasian Blackasiantheoriginal@yahoo.co    Monday, December 09, 2002 at 12:06:48 (PST)    [162.83.227.66]

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