|
|
|
|
|
GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN FEMALE/ CAUCASIAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:32:05 PM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
CONTACT US
|
ADVERTISING INFO
© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.
|
|
|
|
WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
I have a question for WM:
What is your preference in AF? Coloring-yellow or tan or pale white? Height- petite (5-5'4") or tall (5'5" and above)? Build- waif model body type or slender with sexy curves? holla back!
Butterfly
Thursday, March 14, 2002 at 03:32:23 (PST)
"As a white male, I've heard many of my Asian female friends say something to the effect of this: 'I think that it is creepy for WMs to only want to date AFs . It comes across to me as a form fetishism or racist'... Well here's my question: how is this any different from asian women who only want to date white men (and, more specifically, NOT asian men)?"
You are absolutely correct in sensing that there is much in common between WM's who pursue exclusively AF's and vice-versa, especially if the WM is raised in a predominantly white area and the AF, if raised in a predominantly Asian one. For the most part, both are probably using one another. The WM is searching for a dominance he feels he cannot attain with a supposedly feminist WF. The AF who will accept a WM, no matter how unattractive a prospect he is personally and physically, is hoping to buy herself "superior" socio-economic status. These two are messed up: but perhaps messed up people belong together...
"I have gone out with several Asian women who tell me they have never dated an Asian man before, which I find VERY surprising."
This is not surprising if the AF has been raised in a nearly all-white community. Or is in a career where there are very few Asians. For instance, if you're working in English (like me),Western history,European languages, etc., you are not going to find a lot of Asians. It is entirely conceivable for a AF or AM dating outside of his/her race in that respect.
"Some say dating an asian man would be "like dating their brother".
What a limp excuse for an AF!Unfortunately, I've seen it aired at Goldsea enough times.
"Extending this argument further, if asian women don't find asian men as attractive as white men because of their asian features, then do they also feel that they are not as attractive as white women?"
There are a number of Asian women who don't feel themselves to be as attractive as white women for the plain and simple fact that the Western media tends to give most attention to Western features. Mainstream magazine covers nearly always feature white women, particularly blondes, while journalism is always waxing eloquent about blue eyes, blond hair, statuesque and voluptuous figures, etc. (Not that there are no tall and curvy Asian chicks, however...)When one sees this and reads this all the time, one is apt to be brainwashed. After all, many white women have been said to fall prey to bulimia and anorexia after facing a barrage of stick-thin models?
Hope this answers your questions!
Asian Dominatrix
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 16:41:44 (PST)
NOTE TO EDITOR: This is Matt Richardson again. I have ONCE AGAIN (for the 2nd time) updated my previous post dated Tuesday, March 12, 2002 at 23:55:56 (PST). I would appreciate it if you would replace my earlier post with this one. Sorry for the multiple entries.
___________________________
As a white male, I've heard many of my Asian female friends say something
to the effect of this: "I think that it is creepy for WMs to only want to
date AFs . It comes across to me as a form fetishism or racist. These are
the same guys who would go on a Philippine sex tour; patronize a Korean
massage bar; or whatever (similar) if they could get away with it. I mean
it's all based on stereotypes of Asian women and is inherently racist"
Well here's my question: how is this any different from asian women who
only want to date white men (and, more specifically, NOT asian men)?
Especially considering that most of these asian women have closer cultural
ties with asian men, many if not most grew up around other asian families
in their neighborhood, isn't this an especially extreme form of racism
(against men of their own ethnicity)? Many asian women say they hate the
"china-doll" stereotype of asian women being ultra-feminine, and yet many
asian women are applying variations of this stereotype to
asian and white men: some asian women have told me that asian men are
"weak", not manly enough, effeminite, which is basically applying the same
"china-doll"-type stereotype to asian men. These same women claim that
white men are "more masculine" and stronger, which is clearly stereotyping
white males. Is this not hypocritical?
I have gone out with several Asian women who tell me they have never dated
an Asian man before, which I find VERY surprising. I mean think about how
odd it would be to come across a white woman who has never dated a white
man before- it exists, but it is VERY rare. However, I have found
this trend among many of the asian women I've dated. When asked about it,
many say it is "just personal preference", but when this preference is
shared by a very large percentage of asian women (in some asian subgroups,
marrying a white man is MORE common than marrying an asian one; among all
asian-american women in the U.S., according to the most recent census is
around 40% are outmarrying and almost all to white males). Especially
since it often comes with the mindset of NOT dating asian
males, I think some deeper issues need to be explored. Some asian women
have told me that they are "just more open minded" about dating, or that
"love is colorblind", however when I find that most of them have never
(or very rarely) dated an asian man or that they exclusively date white
men, I find myself seriously questioning such statements.
Some say dating an asian man would be "like dating their brother". How
weird would this sound coming from a white woman-- "I could never date a
white guy because it would be like dating my brother"? It would sound
insane and you never see it-- why does this mindset exist in asian women?
Where does this type of thinking come from?
Many asian women tell me they like my blue eyes, and also express
dissatisfaction about their own eyes. 3 of the asian women I've dated have
had cosmetic surgery to make their eyes "look less asian". It's the
same thing with asian women who wear colored contacts because they
want a "different look". At first glance this may seem harmless, but
ask yourself JUST HOW OFTEN you see a blue or green-eyed white woman wearing
BROWN colored contacts because she wants a "different look"? Through this
comparison, it is obvious that there is more than just a "different look"
involved here, but rather standards of beauty. This makes me wonder something:
if these women find asian eyes unattractive on themselves, is it not
logical to say that they would not be attracted to a man with this feature
(i.e., they would not be attracted to asian men)? Since this is an ethnic
feature common to asians, is this not a form of self-hatred?
Extending this argument further, if asian women don't find asian men as
attractive as white men because of their asian features, then do they also
feel that they are not as attractive as white women? An asian woman
colleague of mine at work shocked me when she recently said of her new
baby: "I'm glad I married 'Bob' so my baby doesn't look so 'Chinkie'". I
was speechless, as I had no idea this mindset existed. Along this line of
thinking, would an Asian woman find her daughter (with a white man) less
attractive if the child inherited more of her asian features? Would an
asian woman think of her child (with a white man) as less attractive than
if the mother had been white?
Some very interesting issues are raised here, and I hope to see some
responses from Asian women on this. My experiences have been
quite consistent on this issue and, after talking with several (white)
male friends of mine, I'm finding that it is, indeed, very common. In
addition, census stats only provide hard statistical evidence that this is
a nationwide trend, and not just my personal experiecnes. Because of all
of this, I have stopped dating asian women altogether-- I don't
want to be with someone who has self-hatred issues going on, and I don't
want to be with someone who wants to be with me just because I'm white
(and, more specifically, because I'm NOT asian).
Now obviously there are exceptions here. I'm not saying that true love
cannot exist between people of different races, and I'm not saying that
asian women shouldn't have cosmetic surgery or wear colored contacts. I'm
just examining the reasons behind a very clear and statistically-backed trend of asian women dating and marrying white men at a very high rate because this trend and the attitudes of many asian women indicate that love is not colorblind for many of these women. In addition, through my personal
experiences and the experiences of (white) male friends of mine, I've found
that the attitudes I've encountered are not at all uncommon.
Matt Richardson
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 13:44:20 (PST)
[To avoid confusing readers we don't retroactively make changes to earlier posts. But we can post the corrected version. --Ed.]
Matt Richardson,
Those asian women are marginalized in the asian community. If you ask any asian accepted in the mainstream asian community about these women you've dated, they would concur that these women have a self image issue.
But you shouldn't stop dating them. Beside professional help you might be their only option at a fulfilling life. ^_^
It the same reason I stopped dating white women with Asian fetishes. Sure it was a easy score and foreplay was kept to a minimium, but did I want these women to father my child.
AC Dropout
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 12:35:41 (PST)
NEWEST COMMENTS |
EARLIER COMMENTS
|