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ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN FEMALE/ CAUCASIAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:32:55 PM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
[This discussion questioning the motives of AF who prefer WM may be interesting but is highly tangential to the topic here. After all, this page is for those AF and WM who have an interest in one another. For all you AM (or others critical of the AF/WM attraction like you, "Matt"), please move the discussion to the Asian American Gender Divide forum. --Ed]
Hi everyone- this is Matt (Richardson) again. I posted the lengthy message earlier about asian women's attitudes toward IR dating and asian and white men. I find it interesting that so few asian women have responded to my lengthy post questioning the attitudes of asian women toward IR dating. An otherwise active forum has been virtually silenced and, other than vehement agreement by some asian men, only a few asian women have responded and that too, only addressing a few of the many points, questions, and issues I raised. I believe I have hit a nerve. I do have a little more to add:
It has surprised me to find that many asian women believe that American-born asian men who have lived in this country for generations are just as chavenistic as men straight from asia. What I really find interesting is that several asian women I've dated are very quick to stereotype all asian men based on a few bad experiences (e.g., a few asian men are chauvenistic or weak, so it just goes to confirm what they thought all along-- that all asian men are that way). On the other hand, a white man who is chauvenistic is just "one jerk" among a sea of otherwise decent men. I have many american born asian friends, and I find their attitude toward women to be as enlightened as any Ivy-League educated white man I know. Of course I know chauvenistic men, but they come in all races and I would say no more among american-born asian men (asian-born asian men are a different story in my experience). And I speak from loads of experience around asian-asian and asian-white couples.
I would sincerely like to hear from more asian women with regard to this post and my main (LENGTHY) post which you can find by clicking on the "earlier comments" link and go back to March 13, 2002. It is long so you will definitelty know when you have hit it.
Matt Richardson
Monday, March 18, 2002 at 00:37:33 (PST)
To Pot calling the kettle black: Thisāll be my last posting on this board for now but just a quick response. In general, I really avoid any negativity in my postings because itās not very productive. Unfortunately, itās sometimes unavoidable but in my many contributions on the WF/AM board, I think I may have once or twice slightly questioned the motives behind some AF/WM pairings or been slightly critical of AFās. The postings by Asian Dominatrix and Matt go much further than anything Iāve ever posted or considered which is why I threw in my two cents as to how astounded I was. Also, the reality is that when a significant number of females of an ethnic/racial group consciously and actively shun males of their own group, it directly impacts the males in that same group (AMās in this case) and provides some insight as to AMās behaviour.
All I know is that out of all the AMās I know, none of them have ever said, ćI wouldnāt date or consider an AF...ä How can anyone condone or accept a Chinese female saying, ćIām glad my kid wonāt have ch**kie eyes?ä is beyond me. If you arenāt offended by that sort of a statement all I can say is that youāve been totally brain-washed by the US media and are beyond hope. I can watch television and go through the commercials and see ten times as many AFās in them as AMās but if you think that gives you some sort of superiority, allowing you to turn your back on your own ethnicity, think again... All it does is make you a total sell-out and a very conflicted person.
Iāve taken some flak for my postings from AMās no differently than Asian Dominatrix. My one pervading hope is that people will be judged and appreciated as individuals which includes their ethnicity and culture rather than lumped into some stereotype defined by the majority. Itās one thing to be aware of stereotypes (because you canāt avoid them), itās another thing to act as if they are fact and are unable to recognize a person as an individual just because it may make your life and decisions easier. The one quality I admire and appreciate most is self-respect and individuality (not to be confused with being self-absorbed or selfish), qualities youāve seen attributed to Asian Dominatrix. That is whatās sexy in an Asian female or any female, for that matter...
Ronbo (Bay Area) howudoinsf@hotmail.com
Sunday, March 17, 2002 at 15:06:26 (PST)
Gypsiedolly- I think these questions apply to you after looking at your previous post. I'd be interested in your response:
Many asian women tell me they like my blue eyes, and also express
dissatisfaction about their own eyes. 3 of the asian women I've dated have
had cosmetic surgery to make their eyes "look less asian". It's the
same thing with asian women who wear colored contacts because they
want a "different look". At first glance this may seem harmless, but
ask yourself JUST HOW OFTEN you see a blue or green-eyed white woman wearing
BROWN colored contacts because she wants a "different look"? Through this
comparison, it is obvious that there is more than just a "different look"
involved here, but rather standards of beauty. This makes me wonder something:
if these women find asian eyes unattractive on themselves, is it not
logical to say that they would not be attracted to a man with this feature
(i.e., they would not be attracted to asian men)? Since this is an ethnic
feature common to asians, is this not a form of self-hatred?
Extending this argument further, if asian women don't find asian men as
attractive as white men because of their asian features, then do they also
feel that they are not as attractive as white women? An asian woman
colleague of mine at work shocked me when she recently said of her new
baby: "I'm glad I married 'Bob' so my baby doesn't look so 'Chinkie'". I
was speechless, as I had no idea this mindset existed. Along this line of
thinking, would an Asian woman find her daughter (with a white man) less
attractive if the child inherited more of her asian features? Would an
asian woman think of her child (with a white man) as less attractive than
if the mother had been white?
Matt Richardson
Sunday, March 17, 2002 at 13:19:08 (PST)
I think Matt does hit some points. It is very much similar to african americans. But, the difference between the two race is that for the african americans there are more black men that date and marry outside the race compare to black women. This is vice verser comparing to the asian race. One of the reason for black men to have an easy of dating access is because they are sexual objective same as asian women are. Just watch the film Jungle Fever . It covers alot but just change the race around and put in asian women instead and it will be very similar.
One of the reason why in the AM/WF board the tone is different is because there is not alot of AM dating WF . I live in NYC I see in any given day 2-5 couples all AF/WM. If I do see any asian male dating a white woman it would be like once a week. I personally don't think asian males are passive or are old fashion. It is like saying that asian women are easy or submissive. It is all a stereotype. But, In America people still stereotype asian males and females. And the most sad part is that asian people stereotype each other too.
We should support each other
Sunday, March 17, 2002 at 13:05:28 (PST)
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