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ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ BLACK FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
ok you guys you think all these mixes are weird let me tell yuou what my blood is, My mom was half black half white from L.A. and my dad is Half Chinese half Indian. that means im 1/4 black, 1/4 white, 1/4 chinese and 1/4 indian. I am all the major races put into 1.
black no...umm, white guy...umm no chin..no what the hell friggin mixed up dude
Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 07:40:29 (PST)
did anyone know that aaliyah got pregnant by a chinese stunt man, from the set of romeo muust die but she had an abortion, i just found that out on entertainment tonight, i would have never guessed a love affair between aaliyah and an asian guy.
BF in Houston
Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 07:36:37 (PST)
lmao @ gail the black female.
"When they look at me I can tell they want to f*** me"
thats hilarious, not hilarious that they want to f*** you, just the way you wrote it, thanks for the laugh
canadian bf
Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 07:33:08 (PST)
Luscious Jackson:
Though this question may not have been addressed to me personally I felt like answering so I shall.
I think that the gender issue is , like many other aspects on the prospect of interracial relationships, dependent on the cultures of the people who are considering the dating.
From what I have learned of early and even to this day African American culture, the openess toward such phenomenon shifts with the decades. During the 20's through the late mid to late 60's it was generally expected of Black men to date within their own race, while women were given a bit more leniency because of so called 'conditioning' from slavery. Even though the practice of a Black woman dating a White man was still quite taboo, it was something that happened and was kept as discreet as possible.
During the 70's however there was a massive shift. Black women became once again the main glue of the African American family and thus were expected to meet, date, and marry an African American man. Black men however had the option of dating whomever they pleased provided that they at least MARRIED an African American woman. Some say the movie "Shaft" proved this point in the fact that the main character was in the position to make love to whomever he wished. The 80's I think was a free-for-all. With Reaganomics and the Age of Excess in place not to much thought was put into who dated who, or perhaps this was only in the younger generations.
You would think that in the 90's and the new millineum things would be better but I think that they have instead gotten worse. There is a lot of tension between the many racial communities and though it may seem more open for men in some racial groups (Caucasian and African American) it will be a lot more difficult for others. (Hispanic, Middle Eastern, and in some cases Asian.)
As for women the balance shifts, the women who may have it easier to deal with and therefore be more open towards it (In some cases Asian and Hispanic)might engage in an interracial relationship more than women who may receive grief because of their decision. (Caucasian, African American, and Middle Eastern.)
This question is hard to answer because the scenario would have to be ideal for complete openess. And you have to consider that when the equation of 'Interracial' comes into play most people equate it with:
minority+white
And since Caucasian beauty and ideal is considered the end all be all to a lot of people this is what will be expected and therefore some people of either gender will gravitate more towards that than any other coupling. (Prime examples can be found on this site.)
Peh. Ignore my ramblings. You've picked my brain Luscious. I commend you! You've picked my brain!
Let me think some more...must think...must get sociology book...
JTHM
Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 22:56:34 (PST)
I have a chinese boyfriend. We have been in a relationship for more than 4 years now. He just got this job. He works around alot of white chix who told him,"You are so cute. You look just like that Jackie Chan" or "Bruce Lee" and asking him if he's related to them in any way.
Isn't that some sh*t? I hate when people generalize like that. He doesn't even look close to Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee. Their features are so different its not even funny. I am not saying they are not fine men...yea, they look good. But its straight up dumb to generalize like that. How do you asian men feel about that? Have any of you heard some stupid stuff like that before? I know that as a black woman,I don't like being generalized like,"You look just like that soap opera" or "that commercial" when whoever it is looks absolutely nothing like me but maybe just has brown skin like me.
He was so passive about it. He just laughed it off and said to me how ignorant they are. If it was me, I would have told them off
He says its because I have a terrible temper that I would have went off on them. I'm like "Yes and?"
HapaHunnyKelani
Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 22:09:30 (PST)
J.Chang
That is tough situation. A very good friend of mine was in something similar.
The guy chose not to help her out. Lucky for her, her parents were really supportive but it is still hard on her. Despite what your parents say it would be more of a dishonor if you don't take responsibility for your actions especially if you have strong feelings for her. She is going to need you. I don't know what to say about your parents. The best of luck to both of you.
mystique
Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 19:54:06 (PST)
Oh J. Chang,
I feel your story sooo much. You love and honor your parents but you also honor the love you feel for your girlfriend. There is no easy answer here and one that can't really be addressed without more information. The answer, as you know, is within your heart. Ultimately, you don't want to have regrets for the decisions you make so I would really sit down with your girlfriend and find out what steps you both should take next. I use to say just marry her, but now that I am 31 years old, I realize that that is not always the best answer. You and your girlfriend have to really think a plan through together and then don't look back.
Once again there are no easy answers here. Just be responsible and think about how every decision you make now will affect your life in ways that you can't even forsee. I wish ALL the luck in my heart to you.
tam
Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 17:06:24 (PST)
J. Chang you should listen to your parents. It takes two to make a baby and if your girlfriend is such a book worm then she should have read a book about birth control. It sounds like she's trying to trap you. A lot of women will get pregnant just so their boyfriends will marry them.
jackal
Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 15:41:31 (PST)
To: J.Chang
Are the 2 of you still in High School or are the both of you in College?
I don't know what to tell you about this. I guess I should start of by saying congrats on the pregnancy. I feel bad that your parents are in raged about your Black girlfriend being pregnant with your child. I guess that your family are stuck on the old traditions of an Asian Family.
I know that it seems hard for you but you will have to really let your family know how you feel about this girl. I know that your family say that they will disown you if you stick with this girl, but maybe they are just saying this out of shock I guess. You love this girl right? If the two of you are planning on keeping it, she has to know that you love her and that you will be there for her and the baby. I'm sure she feels the same way for you.
Is the girls parents upset as your parents are? The Black Family's tend to be more understanding about these things. As far as the slut thing, it's sad that people think of BW in that way when we are clearly not like that at all.
I hope that you family will come to they're senses and realize that a baby is a gift to a loving and caring family.
PJ
Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 13:00:00 (PST)
J. Chang,
Unless your girlfriend is going to get an abortion, I have to tell you, you are tied to her for life. What your parents say really doesn't matter, because you now have a responsibility.
Of course you can break up, but are they saying they want you to break up and not take care of the baby? You've got to get a back bone and be a man. You were man enough to get her pregnant, now you have to be man enough to stand up to your parents, especially if you love her the way you say you do.
I'm curious to know your age. I mean, are you still getting an allowance or something from your parents? Do you support yourself or do they help you out? Just imagine how you will feel, leaving the woman you love so much, plus your unborn child. That's just ridiculous.
Your parents are simply being selfish. Only concerned about their own feelings. But, that's all they know, as they are probably not originally born in this country. In their culture, they only know that it's best to put guilt and heavy burden on their children, to make them do what they want them to do, rater than love and support their children, unconditionally. I'm sorry. But it's the truth. You obviously have some big decisions to make.
Fasaha
Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 11:09:38 (PST)
J.Chang
my parents were the same way man, but i love my lady too much to let her go.
we married year ago, date 3 yr. mom is trying too no her better.
my eldest brother marry black women, have 2 sons, my mother love the children, they look more chinese than black.
father traditional chinese man hard for him to accept.
i don't no if i help you but if you love her stay together.
Kevin Lee
Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 09:09:51 (PST)
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