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ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ BLACK FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Race shouldn't really matter if you like each other.
Karen
Sunday, April 14, 2002 at 17:27:45 (PDT)
Did anyone watch the Oscars? denzel Washington & Halle Berry made history winning top honors in both leading categories.
I was crying tears of happiness when I watch the both them winning they're Oscars. I was especially happy when Sidney Poitier recieved the Life Time Acheivement Award, and with Whoopi Goldberg whom is a past Oscar winner herslf hosting the show, It was totally a beautiful night for African Americans.
Now I would like to see Asian Americans take they're place in Oscar history too. Like Halle said, "The door is open now".
PJ
Monday, March 25, 2002 at 10:37:53 (PST)
To Chrissy,
I agree with you 100% about some black womens attitudes. The sluttiness comes in all races. So I no that doesn't represent just us. I just don't like for people(regarding Venetia) to clump all women into one group of people. Just because she has 1001 degrees. My best friend is going for her masters and she can't even get a man to approach her(although, this is partly her fault). But all I wanted to say is you just can't come on a forum and put down your fellow woman because you appear to have it all together.
By the way, you could be right about asian men. But in my city, I think I would actually pass out If I saw an AM/BW couple strolling down the street. I have never seen it as of yet. Doesn't mean it isn't happening....
Peace,
The real Garota
Monday, March 25, 2002 at 09:17:28 (PST)
Venetia Carigo I've been looking at your web site and as one black woman to another please let me say that black women like you are a dime a dozen as far as having an education is concern.
All of those psychology classes that you've majored in should be applied to yourself and perhaps you, as a black woman, should be seeking counseling instead of giving it.
The last thing black women need to hear is that they need to change in order to attract Asian men, there are too many black women trying to do that already and failing badly, they do not need any more insane encouragement.
Just because you are married to an Asian man does not mean that your relationship and how it came about and how it is today is a healthy relationship.
I will be praying for your husband and your two sons, Parris and Anthony Jr.
Krissy Krs12@hotmail.com
Monday, March 25, 2002 at 07:07:21 (PST)
Venetia:
I think its wrong to put everyone into one big category, and cut them down to generalizations...like in stereotypes. Its just wrong. Its important to be yourself. Not try to be something that your not.
The Real Garota made an exceptionally good point...We as black women should strive for our college degrees,our educations...not for some man. But to better ourselves. Thats the important thing.
Only 1Celestial (With No Kids and No Drama)
Monday, March 25, 2002 at 03:45:22 (PST)
J.Chang,
Yeah, it'll probably be hard to lose the support of your parents. But who knows... my mother was ready to disown my sister when she hooked up with her guy (he belongs to a different religion with a strict culture). She even scheduled an intervention so the whole family could confront my sister on the topic at once. When my sister got pregnant with this man's baby, my family treated her like she'd just created a federal crime -- it was awful.
But once the baby came, everything changed! I really think that it is a rare grandparent who can look at their baby's baby and not get all warm and gooey inside. My own mother went from a sadistic whip-cracker to a cooing, goo-gooing gramma by the baby's second diaper change. And now she is waaaaaaay more accomodating towards my sister and my brother in law. So take care of your business, love and support your woman through this time, and see what happens.
By the way, I hope someone has gotten your beloved Keisha a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting -- evidently it's the operating manual for pregnancy. Try not to let her read too far ahead though -- I've seen a lot of my friends terrify themselves that way.
As for you, my favorite book for daddies-to-be is She's Having a Baby : And I'm Having a Breakdown by James Douglas Barron. I bought this book for one of my best friends with the stipulation that it was for his eyes only. It has all sorts of important and frivolous tips on how to care for your woman, the baby and even yourself.
Best of luck to you both!
Peace and love to all,
SistaMoonKitty
Monday, March 25, 2002 at 01:40:59 (PST)
Venetia,
Can you please explain to me why it is okay with you to raise your children as filipino first and black second? What different does it make what your kids looklike right at this moment? Why can't you raise them as both first? That is what they are. Black and filipino. vice versa. How can you allow yourself to deny your heritage that you owe to teach your children?
Hmmm...maybe I am assuming too much.
Third Eye
Monday, March 25, 2002 at 00:02:54 (PST)
To The real Garota:
I especially agree with the last paragraph of your posting, about how a woman should get a degree for herself and not for a man. I know that's how it is for me; I want to strive and succeed because those are my goals, not to land an Asian man.
I also agree with how a black woman should not lose her sense of blackness to land an Asian man. I for instance have a Korean boyfriend, but I'm very aware of my blackness, and I'm not trying to be white or Asian. I wear my hair in braids, in addition to causual clothes, etc. I also by the way have a very 'black' body. Anyway, a woman should not lose her sense of identity for a man.
However, some black women need to be honest with themselves regarding how they act. Some of the things we do make us unattractive to ANY men, including our own. And these negative attributes (such as being loud, having an attitude, sluttiness, etc.)should NOT be associated with blackness. They are not positive things, and the more we associate ourselves with these attributes to more we become like that.
It may be a painful thing to admit, but we should try to analyze why we are continually stereotyped by Asians, whites, and other groups as being on the lowest level of society. We shouldn't always use white 'racism' as an excuse, because a lot of it we do to ourselves. We do have numbers of blacks defying the odds, but they are simply not large enough. The more we can analyze the possible truth around some of these stereotypes, the more we can do to improve our race and eventually rid it of this negativity.
And lastly, in response to your comment about Asian men approaching black women. Just because they don't approach them doesn't mean they aren't attracted to them. Many times they don't approach them simply because they don't think the black woman is interested in them. If you respond to personals, for instance, you'd be surprised how many are attracted to them. I have dated several different types of Asian men; attraction didn't seem to be a problem.
Chrissy
Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 18:46:12 (PST)
Did anyone of you see that reality show "No Boundaries" ? That asian guy, Allen Chen is just deeeeeeeeeelicious!
BlackIvory
Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 11:20:50 (PST)
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