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POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Do you Yahoo?!,
i'm pretty sure about the answers, but if i'm wrong, someone correct me.
"Pinay"- means of Filipina descent or from the Philippines. "Pinay" is a female Filipina. "Pinoy" is a male Filipino. "Pinoy" also means Filipino-American.
"Hapa"- (ha/pa) means "half" Asian and "part" White or Black or Hispanic.
Cream Soda
Tuesday, January 08, 2002 at 08:11:52 (PST)
Dating is Hell in Korea
"There will be no men in your life for one year – get used to it." Those words of my ex-roommate have proven far too true for myself and many other foreign women in Korea. Dating – or the lack of it – takes on very strange dimensions in Korea.
First the relationships that do commence here seem to be characterized by a frantic kind of intensity; everything is speeded up here. One friend of mine explained it in this way. She had been seeing a man of two weeks and told me that it was the "equivalent of two months on the outside." By that she meant that that heightens all of the emotional baggage we all bring into relationships in Korea. Because we are in a foreign country, especially a country that is not always easy to live in at times, we enter into relationships that with slightly skewed perspective. All the stages of a relationship that normally take several months back home can happen in several weeks here.
Second, there is the realization that most foreign men are only interested in Korean women, and for many teachers that was their whole reason for coming to Korea. while many Korean women are intelligent and mature, there are also many that idolize foreign men simply because they have white skin and are from the same country as Brad Pitt. Many of these creepy white guys seem to have a touch of misogyny in them – probably because every woman in the Western Hemisphere has shot them down. But Korea is the land of opportunity, especially if you can find a Korean woman who doesn¡¯t speak very good English – she¡¯ll think I¡¯m a god!
On more than one occasion I have heard white men completely denigrate everything about this country, and then proceed to try and pick up Korean women. I like to call it the "Heart of Darkness" syndrome. Western men don¡¯t have to watch what they say or do when they come to Korea – they don¡¯t have to pretend that they believe in that feminist rhetorical crap that was shoved down their throats back home. Life is so easy for them here and the most of the women are so much less demanding than they were back home.
So what options does that leave foreign women? If one night stands with the American GIs at Dallas isn¡¯t exactly your coup of tea; there¡¯s always what I consider to be the most attractive option – Korean men. That is, of course, if you can find a Korean man who a) speaks English, b) isn¡¯t afraid of you, or c) isn¡¯t dating you because he thinks you¡¯re Meg Ryan or Sandra Bullock. This task is not as easy as it sounds.
If you happen to find an eligible Korean man, you then have to put up with the negative reactions from not only the Korean community, but from the foreign community as well. The aforementioned white guys may be only interested in Korean women, but that doesn¡¯t mean they want Korean guys dating their women. It¡¯s like a dog with a bone that it¡¯s not chewing – just because it doesn¡¯t want that bone, doesn¡¯t mean it wants another dog to take that bone.
On the Korean side, if the relationship remains casual (confined to adventures in the front seat of his Tico) then the whole thing can be pretty cool. Of course, god help him if the family ever found out. But Korean men can also be deceiving. Many foreign women delude themselves into thinking that Korean men are all innocence and naiveté. But that would be a big mistake – Korean men play their own dating games, we just don¡¯t understand the rules.
But if you can have a few laughs and a good time, nobody gets hurt. Unfortunately, the relationships often go much further than that and it is the foreign woman that ends up with the broken heart. Dating a Korean man is a great way to understand the culture, and to understand that you will never be a part of it. While it is also difficult for foreign men dating Korean women to be accepted into Korean society – it is next to impossible for foreign women to achieve acceptance.
Historically, women are always expected to give up their family when they marry, and sometimes their country. However, men can not and will not do the same – their first priority is their family, especially if they are the only son.
So what is the answer? I wish I knew. My only advice is to be careful, regardless of whom you date. If you thought dating was difficult back home, you¡¯ll soon discover it¡¯s hell in Korea.
Blue eyed caucasian girl
Tuesday, January 08, 2002 at 07:34:17 (PST)
ABT,
NO! No more "???" in your case. You're doing great. Now it's your duty to follow up and keep it going with more "getting to know you? Goals? Do you prefer on top or bottom?" kind of chit-chat. If you like her that bad, you should be on overdrive going...
AARRROOOOOO! RRRRUFFF! RRRRUFF! RRRRUFF!
And she needs to hear that from you too or something to ensure her that you are FUN. Quiet types definitely like some chaos. Ok, she can count. Thats a good start, but can she spit like a Asian? HHAAAAWWWWKKKK! p'too... She might have an inner beast waiting to be unleashed for the right guy.
Confident ABC back in school 4 edu-mocation
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 23:22:30 (PST)
well traveled AM,
you realize euro women don't shave, right?
smack me if i'm wrong.
villageidiot
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 22:40:15 (PST)
You guys are DEAD right!
sety fgh
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 20:06:16 (PST)
Odysseus from Ithaca: Others started telling me not to call her and wait for her to call you the next day. She didn't call so I called on Friday and she wasn't there and her roommate took my name and left her the message. Weekend ended and she didn't call me. I'm getting sick of these games. The last time I talked to her was Wednsday.
I'm just afraid that if I keep calling her that I'll be pushing it or going too fast. I don't know how that's possible but that's what others keep telling me. All I want to do is get to know her more and hope she just wants the same. I really don't know how she feels other than the affection we had on the couch while we were watching a movie, even with others around. Maybe i'm reading everything wrong. Too much expectations. Just hard to think that, after all the chemistry that was there.
Tigerlily: Most of all I'm scared it will be that one time fling thing. If it is it would be a first for me and I don't want it to be just a fling, I hope to change that. Oh yea when she called me the first time, that was because she thought it would be better to call me instead of replying to my email.
Thank you all for your reply.
ABT pjchen28@hotmail.com
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 16:28:39 (PST)
Toto: I've lived in the Northeast New England are for awhile and can't seem to find the ladies who are open-minded enough to even acknowledge me. Believe me I've looked long and hard and haven't succeeded. I just think it's time for a change now. I know what you're saying though. Thanks for your opinion.
Tan Man: If this develops it would be my first relationship with a WF. I really don't know any WF and when this happened it kinda changed my whole outlook on things. She made me feel real comfortable because she went out of her way to get to know me and I was really tense. I would love to win her over. I'll email you more if you don't mind of course.
Odysseus from Ithaca: Yea now that I think about it I did say too much. I kinda let it all out. I couldn't help myself. I've thinking about all the dumb scenarios. Do I wait for her to call to see if she's really interested? Or is she waiting for me to call to see if I'm really interested. I let a lot of opportunities go by and don't want to pass this one by. Others keep telling me to slow down and wait for her to call. I called her before I got on the plane to go back and she wasn't there and left a message. Right when I got home I emailed her. Gave her my numbers and left it at that. She called me the next day at night and we were both busy. I was eating and she going to a movie. We both said if we don't talk that night before her movie and after my dinner then we would talk the next day.
ABT pjchen28@hotmail.com
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 16:00:06 (PST)
Yeah, Well Traveled AM those European women are 'better' than us close-minded insensitive white American females who are ruled by our mean spirited white daddies. :-(
I mean, it must really turn a man on to date women with hairy legs like an ape, or date European women with bad teeth like Austin Powers, or date European women who are more than likely a legalized professional prostitute. :-)
At least with us white bread American girls, an Asian guy will know that we're with him because of our hearts and not because we want to enter American to get a green card!
American Beauty
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 14:24:24 (PST)
Laffing at the villageidiot. This place need more humor like yours. To answer your question. Hell no. I could never be seen in public with a female who looks like that wrestler Chyna for instance. Too many steroids in their systems and I don't want to date any female who has a darker five o'clock shadow than myself.
laffing asian
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 14:16:33 (PST)
If "many WF already feel a little selfconcious being with an AM and it helps when she believes that others see him as a "cool" guy and not a nobody asian" then Tan Man shouldn't their dumb asses stay away from dating Asian men if they are so damn conscious of what others might think? Why is it that on this forum it's the Asian men changing themselves in order to be appropriate for white women? I'm reading some of this stuff and laffing my ass off! A woman will take me as I am or get left behind.
laffing asian
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 14:13:26 (PST)
WF in Minnieapolis,
How you doing? I remember things didn't quite go the way you wanted with your AM friend right before Christmas. Would you like to talk about it?
Odysseus from Ithaca or the imposter from a dumpster
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 12:15:11 (PST)
DD,
Mimi and the crowd from Drew Carey Show:
http://quinstreet.tripod.com/drewcarey/id2.html
Odysseus from Ithaca or the imposter from a dumpster
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 12:06:14 (PST)
Hi,
Re: Odysseus from Ithaca or the imposter from a dumpster
Sunday, January 06, 2002 at 14:10:52 (PST)
A typo: pedestal not pedestral
Odysseus from Ithaca or the imposter from a dumpster
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 12:00:42 (PST)
toto,
Re: Why leave Kansas to get what you're seeking?
Indeed......
Odysseus from Ithaca or the imposter from a dumpster
Monday, January 07, 2002 at 11:56:20 (PST)
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