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POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
i like some aspects of asian males thinking, but not others like dominance over women for example.
lisa kewpi@yahoo.com
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 05:37:21 (PST)
Annoyed Southern White Girl ,
You are quite right I get really fed up with those "So-call self proclaim Experts " too.. whether they are white or asian doesn't matter they always seem to know all the answers by simply sterotyping people and making broad statements without concrete proof to back it up ..My girlfriend is Irish and my family luvs her the fact she's white has nothing to do with anything they luv her because she is a wonderful caring person
KC
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 22:11:47 (PST)
Puzzzled ,
Is it me???
"It seems there's this mutual 'attraction' between very attractive blond girls and attractive am's? Especially the "stereotypcal" blue-eyed blond ladies.
It seems in public we lock eyes just a little bit more often.
Can someone give input/insight into this phenomenon, if it even exists???"
funny u should mention that cuz all the WF who has ever flirted with me were blond and blue/green eyes and my current girlfriend is a blond too ...i never thought much about it though maybe it's just a coincidence rather than a phenomenon!
Mayo K
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 21:14:52 (PST)
Puzzzled,
No its not just you. The sterotypical pretty blond girls get attention/drooling from every white guy that crosses their path. They are sick of the same old thing so to speak, and good-looking asian males are perfect sexual fantasy material for them, mainly because they are different and exotic. Elaine is right though, most are not even remotely thinking of marrying AMs. Go to Scandinavian countries to see this phenomenon jacked to the tenth power, the women there are so starved for something different sexually.
Hot Blond Girls Are Bored
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 20:40:26 (PST)
hi,i've read this website for a long time but this is my first time to write on here.
first time when i was here, i just didn't know how the hell those asian guyz got white chicks. but, i think now as a korean kid who has been with white girls for a couple of times, i have something to tell you guyz.
i've been into non-asian chicks, or white chicks(especially). after being through a lot of thoughts and experiences, i realized that it is not a matter of race.
these dayz, i am kinda in love with this girl, who is 27, white, really pretty. i am only 19, but yeah, i think i gotta say i was lucky to find out her. she is so nice and kind and what is better, she loves asian.
i know, there aren't that many white chicks that who are into asians, but i also know that there are some who are into asians. so i am telling you asian guyz who like white girls, don't worry too much about not getting white girls. you guyz just need to find those white girls who like asians. there will be a lot of failure, but keep trying. be more socialized with ppl, and go to party often to get more chances to find those kinds of girls.
i am positive there are some for you guyz.
after all, it's not about race, but love. i am still going crazy when i see hot white chick. but, you know, i can get that kind of chick at a party. find someone for yourself for real.
peace..
ps- any opinion or comments, drop me a line to dreamaway_1982@msn.com. i'd love to talk to you guyz whoever it could be.
dreamaway dreamaway_1982@msn.com
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 15:54:53 (PST)
Annoyed Southern White Girl
Great words! Thanks for your message, but I am involved with someone right now. We've known each other for many years, I hope we have a future together as I am crazy about this guy. Tall, 6'3", beautiful face, kind hearted, intelligent and deep, oh, and yes, Chinese. I am crazy about this guy but will not sleep with him, not until I feel more confident that we have a future together. I don't just 'give myself away' easily, even though I feel as though I've known this guy forever. Did you feel the same way about your husband when you were dating him?
I like your posts, you have intelligent conversation to offer.
Rice Cooker
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 15:26:14 (PST)
Mile High Asian Guy:
I was on here a LONG time ago too and left because the conversation did nothing for me. I started a new forum on Delphi.com but haven't done anything with it yet. Look forward to hearing what you have to say.
Southern White Girl
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 13:00:52 (PST)
Southern White Girl,
Re: Using words like "some" or "most" or "those I know" will show you're not talking about every white girl...
I couldn't agree more. Generalization and stereotyping usually (if not always) does more harm then good in discussing issues involving individuals (like relationships) from the point of view of an individual.
Loving Tenor
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 12:54:20 (PST)
Puzzled:
Being the overanalytical thinker that I am, I have some theories on the blonde/Asian attraction. First of all, I agree there is something there because I'm blonde and I find Asian men more physically attractive than most other men (generally). Though we'd have to look into the issue of natural vs. fake blondes (ie, I had white/blonde hair when little, but dark blonde now which, I confess, I highlight). And I have green eyes, but everyone thinks they're blue anyway unless I make them huge and let them come within a couple inches of my face (take my hubby's word for it, they're green), so green/blue, I don't know if that's a factor...whatever.
ANYWAY, I think there really could be a genetic/chemistry/physical factor in this attraction, but I couldn't begin to tell you why.
Here's another idea...assume the blondes you are speaking of are also attractive...there are several issues here: One, attractive blondes have inevitably dealt with countless blonde jokes and dumb people not taking them seriously...the nicer you are, the less seriously people take you especially if cute or blonde. In the end you decide to give up and play dumb, or you start to be less nice to people you don't know and drop obvious hints at your intelligence, sometimes giving that half smile "you're an idiot" look. This may sound like an exageration but it really isn't. The blonde jokes are an ice breaker I guess and possibly funny for about 2 minutes and after that you just want to castrate the guy. Anyway, I don't recall Asian men ever pulling out the blonde jokes and they don't seem to assume nice people aren't smart. Attractive blondes often have a lot of experience with jerks and guys who are very egotistical (these types often have the "guts" to approach them I guess) and I think Asian men would be very refreshing after a while. So, the "locking eye" connection could also be a plea on her behalf, like "oh god, take me away from these self-praising womanizing t&a seeking egotistical jerks, you look like a nice guy who would appreciate ALL I have to offer."
Two, attractive women, blondes in particular, often don't have as many close friends. Guys don't look to be just friends with them, and women are often jealous. And sometimes fewer guys ask them out because they are intimidated. So the "eye locking" could also be "you look like a cute, nice guy who would appreciate me for who I am and be interested in getting to know me as a friend even if more develops."
A final idea: maybe they have figured out that Asian men like blondes, but don't necessarily assume they are wild. If you are blonde/cute but not wild people sometimes don't know what to think of you, but Asian men usually appreciate this (Mexican men also like blondes, but they themselves tend to be more wild so they probably go for the more wild ones). So knowing Asians are generally attracted to blondes makes blondes in turn attracted to Asians and have extra confidence to "lock eyes." This may sound simplistic, but studies do show you are attracted to those who are attracted to you. This could become a chicken and egg thing, but lets assume AM are first attracted because typically women wait for some sign from men first (not always, but usually I think).
Or, how about this...maybe they are less worried an AM would turn out to be a pscho so they don't mind showing their attraction. Seriously, I think a lot of women would think twice about encouraging a WM who is a stranger. You don't hear of women being date-raped or worse by AM. Or maybe the eye contact is somewhat innocent: "I find you very attractive, but don't want it to go anywhere." Maybe they think an AM would be less likely to act and they wouldn't have to deal with feeling they led him on when they weren't available. Just a thought.
I personally just think there is physical chemistry there. But I also think there can be attraction between AM and WF with other hair colors so...
So, anyone know about black women being attracted to AM? Whenever I let my husband go out with my brother and "the guys" he says black women just stare at him. Don't know if they have more guts to just stare, or if they have a thing for him, or if he thinks I would be jealous if he says a blonde was staring at him...just curious.
Southern White Girl
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 12:46:04 (PST)
Asian American Male,
If you are here to try and understand the psychology behind white females and the relationships they have with Asian males, that's okay. However, while you are here, please make an effort to get to understand us--at least to whatever degree it's possible to know us through this method--and not be so quick to pass judgment. It seems you have already made up your mind that we are a worthless breed and you are out to reinforce your beliefs. Don't be that way, because it's wrong. Not only that, it makes you narrow minded and that's not attractive. Also remember that it takes a certain type of person to even participate in a forum like this, so you are only being exposed to a small number of people here. There are plenty of good people of all races out there who would never think to involve themselves in this sort of dialogue. To be honest, I'm here for much of the same reason you are here, but my circumstances are different. Certainly I've questioned some of the posts that I've read here and on other forums, and at times considered sticking to my own kind. Not because I find anything unattractive or offensive about Asians--or any race for that matter-- but because the animosity toward whites can be overwhelming at times, and relationships can be difficult enough. However, I remind myself that by sticking to my own kind that I will miss out on opportunities to not only get to know great people, but to expand my mind and make myself a more rounded individual. Also, I'm a believer that regardless of race, we all experience prejudice to some degree or another, so I'll be a big girl and just suck it up, because it's something we all have to live with. I also believe that race only becomes an issue when people make it one. I have decided to see the person and not the race. Although that can be difficult, if not impossible, if the other person doesn't share that view. I think it's important for people to continue to grow and strive to be better people. It's good that you are making an effort to try and get to know us, but please keep an open mind. Asian people--including you--are not better then white people, and vice versa. I for one don't mind you participating in this forum and I look forward to reading your comments; however, please be kind and give everyone here a fair shake. If we were all the same, or like you, the world would be a boring place. I like diversity. Take care.
DD
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 12:39:29 (PST)
"Can someone give input/insight into this phenomenon, if it even exists?"
yep, it's called the gold-digging phenomena that happens in both directions. one side for the gold locks and the other for the gold rocks.
maybe it's just me, but i don't think anything usually comes out of "strangers in the night, exchanging glances..."
there was this great segment on npr sometime ago about this one woman living in japan and how she never gets any eye contact on the streets. she said it's damaging her self-esteem because of the usual greetings she gets from strangers in america. her japanese friends say it's probably due to the dense population and not enough space so eye-contact is avoided like those chimp in cramped space effect they do in psychology...
just thought it was interesting...
villageidiot
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 10:59:15 (PST)
"What male family members are involved with white women whose families don't care for them anyway?"
Nephews who have dated white women in the past and some still dating now.
"What, has a white woman turned you down or hurt you?"
By the way, when I mean white woman, I mean white American woman. Not all white women. The non-Jewish white American women whom I have worked with are among the most racist. I work as a consultant for an international organization. This white woman takes over this group and manages to get rid of all minorities including minority women....some of them were world renowned experts in regions ranging from Africa to the Middle East. And guess what? She put a white woman in charge of Papua New Guinea, sent her to a Canibal infested area, where the young lady was literally eaten. Now she is being sued by the victim's family. Of course, when an Asian or a black is the leading candidate she tries to extend the deadline for application so that she can get some white person in...she is that desparate. Everyone says that the white males are prejudiced...I agree, though I have had better experience with white men than white women.
Later, I go to an interview with this consulting firm, full of white women working on Asian issues...they tell me that I do not fit in...give me a break! They are working on Asia...I speak six Asian languages and I do not fit in. The jobs are not filled in...I guess that they are waiting for other white women! Do you want to know what role white women played in Enron, including ripping of India, and causing untold misery to villagers and citizens in the coastal areas...Enron India was led by a young lady by the name of Rebecca Mark, another female who would only hire white women who looked like her. She did not hire any locals, had no understanding for Indian customs etc. Everyone in the village knew about the Enron ladies...for that matter everyone in New Delhi knew about them and their shennanigans! What a joke!
So, no my experience with white women are not very good. But, I will respect them more if they stopped protesting that they are victims of sexism and proclaim that they are on equal footing with white men. Some do! And I respect them for it.
Asian American Male
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 10:11:24 (PST)
[Fascinating -- so we're leaving it posted, but this isn't the place to discuss general societal racism. --Ed]
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