Asian Male/White Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 23%
Their attitude and personality | 12%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 12%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 72%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 16%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 74%
Their physique | 7%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 5%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 8%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 72%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 19%

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Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Re: What are some of the cities that are more friendly to interracial dating? I've lived in SF, London, and am currently living in LA. I have to say SF is the most accomodating, London is the worst, and LA is somewhere in the middle.

Beside SF, LA, London, how about Boston, New York city, and North New Jersey? All opinions are welcome, but, please let us know where you are coming from. And, if your experiences are all bad even with your own race, then it probably has not much to do with the interracial stuff. Thanks in advance.

Loving Tenor Saturday, March 09, 2002 at 14:20:20 (PST)

"... my man used to cook pretty well until I learned how and did it a little better. Now he just boils dumplings and noodles. What's with that!?"

Southern White Girl, I used to be the one who cooked for both of us until I was involved in an accident and bedridden for a month. During my recovery, my man took care of me and cooked for me. "Dear, I didn't know you can cook good food !? Is there something you haven't told me? :)" I mean he made great noodle soups, soy, tofu dishes, all the good stuff ... he took delight in showing off his culinary skills. Every morning before he left for work, he wrote a note to tell me what to eat and how to warm up the food. *swoon* Maybe I should get sick more often : I like the way he sometimes spoon-fed me :) . I am still the main cook though, I'm still better AND faster.

BrunetteGirl Saturday, March 09, 2002 at 09:53:13 (PST)

What Southern White Girl is saying Susannah is that her husband comes home after a night of drinking and tell her that bw are staring at him, she thinks it's amusing; she's from the south, she's blonde, she's white so what would any bw have on her. But, if her husband were to come home and tell her that blondes were staring at him, she would find it to be an serious situation. By the way, I'm only attracted to brunettes myself.
Mile High Asian Guy Friday, March 08, 2002 at 23:42:27 (PST)

Whoa Chris
One question per day mon. I know you are excited about finding this site but try to pace yourself. hahaha
1) You are definately 'white washed" or in denial. SNAP OUT OF IT!
I used to think well people don't see color but they do, especially in good ole US of A. Everything in this country is about race, race issues are ingrained in American mentality.
No matter how well you think you fit in, believe me most whites will always find a way to not embrace you completely. Of course, it will vary among individuals.
2) I've always found Western Europe, excluding Britain ( I've never been to Britain,never was interested, although I hooked up with a cute English chick on vacation in NYC, she was h-o-r-n-y for me baby, I had to give her what she would be missing when she got back home, hahaha) to be most accomadating to Asians. I had to beat them down in Italy, France and Spain. Oh also in Sweden. Those long legs, oh my GOD!
3) I dunno
4)Nope, not meeeee. I'm a big boy, 6'1 and half. 190 pounds. I get so pissed off when people ask me "what else are you mixed with, like Asians can't get that big,I'm Corean American, I think we get taller than most other Asian groups.
5) I don't have a specific place, I met European and American girls in all places, I used to hook up alot in lounges, clubs, bars, through friends, college, etc.
I say just be confident, outgoing and ask, you'll catch something when you cast your line enough times. Of course, if you're butt ugly just be happy with whatever you'll get.
Ok, mon...I have to line up my dates for this weekend.

Keith (Traveler/Lover) Friday, March 08, 2002 at 19:45:16 (PST)

I am a blonde/blue girl who loves Asian guys ever since I dated a Vietnamese/French guy in high school. I just don't meet that many, maybe due to where I hang out? or living in AZ?
E. Lei Friday, March 08, 2002 at 17:20:45 (PST)

Chris (Poet/Warrior),

" I'm curious to know how many of the AMs out there don't really consider themselves Asian. Using myself as an example, I was raised in a white, educated upper-middle class community, where everyone was essentially 'colorblind'. I've never thought of myself as Asian in any sort of way (I'm second generation--the gen. which typically rejects the cultural heritage.) I feel most at home in a room full of white people, and I often forget that some people, when they see me, see me differently from the way that I see myself."

You can add me to the list. Sounds like we had the same up-bringing. That statement seems to describe me pretty closely.

In repsonse to question 2: A while ago, I read a post here that listed a few cities that were not racially tolerant. One of the places listed was Jefferson County Colorado. In my opinion, I couldn't disagree with that statement more. I was born and raised in a suburb of Denver. I also went to college in Colorado. And I love Colorado. I personally have not been the subject of any blatant, direct racism. And to tell the truth, I can't think of one instance where race has been an issue. Because of my career I'm traveling 6 months out of the year. But the other 6 months I always return to Colorado. I would move to other western slope states but if I don't have to move than I'm not going to. People have always seemed to be pretty open-minded.

Your fourth question was on the subject of physical appearance and dating. I'm 5' 7", slender but have a pretty good athletic build. I'll try not to confuse this statment but.....I am more attracted to taller females, but, I prefer to date a female who is my height or shorter. However, a girl that I know now is 5'10"-11" and we are getting along great. That 3-4 inches is a pretty significant difference. I think the problem in initiating any kind of relationship is because of the height difference. But if things continue to go well I'm not going to let a "small" issue such as height get in the way. Guess we'll just have to see what happens.

Hope this answers your questions and helps out a bit.
Mile High Asian Guy Friday, March 08, 2002 at 16:58:42 (PST)

Loving Tenor,

That last paragraph I should have left out. My post was directed at AM/WF relationships. It was just a passing thought and really had nothing to do with my post. But to clarify, I was just making a statement about hooking up with females (one night stands, etc). There are those out there who just want sex from the other. No relationship, no committment, etc. Those people are never hard to find. It just depends on your standards and morals. Sorry for the random thought.
Mile High Asian Guy Friday, March 08, 2002 at 16:17:59 (PST)

Yeah, I tend to be more attracted to "smoking brunettes" as I call them. I do get lustful at some blondes but it passes pretty quickly. I'm not sure why. Celebritywise, I'm attracted to actresses like, Parker Posey, Mia Kirschner, and Sela Ward. I just love the big brown eyes and dark brown hair. Owoooooo!
Mr. Lee Friday, March 08, 2002 at 14:39:46 (PST)

Hi Southern White Girl,

Thanks for your words, and your thoughts of playing “matchmaker” – sometimes it does work you know! How old are these guys – I have some single girlfriends who might be interested, but I sort of hesitate in a way because a couple of them can be, well, difficult. It’s too bad these guys aren’t able to find nice girls. They really like WF then? Do they limit themselves in any way, you know, by just going solely for the physical aspects of a woman?

It’s refreshing to read of another WF who made her significant other wait. I know that my guy is the one for me and would be heartbroken if anything happened to us. His Mother and some of his friends would prefer to see him with an AF and this disturbs me greatly. At least he is man enough to know his own mind and not be persuaded by their influence. You say you were pretty young when you got married, may I ask at what age?

Thank for offering to let me e-mail you, good recipes are always useful. No, sadly I’m just an average cook, still learning. I’m out of town for a while so I may take you up on the e-mail offer when I return. Hope you are home alone for good reasons!

Rice Cooker Friday, March 08, 2002 at 13:56:03 (PST)

Chris,

Re: Do WFs go to specific places to meet AM?

(2) General places:
Bars/clubs are bad choices even for WM.
Good places are:
Classes (Yoga, dance, cooking, Chinese cooking, etc)
Volunteering (at pet shelters)
Meditation workshops
Lectures (on Asia, etc.)
College campus
Dog parks
Art galleries
Museums
Church
Bookstores (with or w/o cafes)
Cafes
Library
HTH
Renaissance Fair
Malls
Airport
Hotel and airport bars

Look for WF who initiate or return eye contacts in those places. If you are confident enough, just go up and talk to them even with no eye contacts.

Any more idea, anyone?
Loving Tenor Friday, March 08, 2002 at 12:22:57 (PST)

Hello villageidiot,

I am not any less a idiot then you are, just have some thoughts to share with you (and whoever reads it)…..

Re: i have to know something about them and their interests and what similiarities first before i ask them "out."
Perhaps your turf is in class, party, through friends, which is fine. Have eye contacts, talk for 2-5 min, ask (to talk some more over a cup of coffee), (email), or (phone numbers) is quite easy to do if you would just do it. It doesn’t matter if you two can’t connect. At least you can be friends and don’t forget that she definitely have some nice white female friends. Asking to get together as friends is less pressure, more relaxed, and generally yield greater result than formal GOING OUT on a DATE and you don’t have to pay for her in a get–together (even on a date).

Re: boyfriends
I wouldn’t read it as a REJECTION as soon as she says “I have a boyfriend.” It could means:
(1) I have to turn you down cause I haven’t find myself attracted to you YET and I don’t wanna hurt your feeling. (She could have or have no b/f.)
(2) I like you, but I can’t deal with the guilt of going out with a man behind my b/f. So, if you can convince me that we will be just hanging out, then I might consider your invitation.
(3) I like you and I would go out with you cause I am not happy with him, but I have to tell you first that I have a boyfriend. So, I am not hiding anything. And, I can explain it to my b/f that anything between us is only platonic (for now).
(4) I told you that I have a b/f already, so it’s out of my hand. If you still wanna pursue me, I can’t be responsible for you getting hurt later.

My personal believe is that if she’s truly happy with him, she won’t have the wondering eyes. Chinese describes that as “Riding the donkey and looking for the horse”. Attractive women’s between-b/f periods are usually short. If you keep waiting for this narrow windows of opportunities. You could be missing out. Just be FRIENDS with her, but make sure that you let your romantic interest known, so you don’t end up being friends forever. And, don’t put all your eggs in ONE basket until you go steady with the special someone. Then, you keep those female friends still, but don’t wonder around anymore.

Loving Tenor Friday, March 08, 2002 at 12:02:56 (PST)

Hey y'all

I'm in rome right now, and most of the women here are brunettes with sallow to olive skin. Some are pale too, but very few have light blonde hair. lately ( I first got here in Januray of this year), I've noticed many more Scandanavian/German tourists many of whom are blonde, ice-blue eyed women. I get much less stares and flirtacious looks from the brunette Italians than from the Nordic/Germanic women. And even amongst them, I seem to get the most looks from the platinum blonde Nordics. I'm visiting a friend in Stockholm this summer, and I can't WAIT to try out the nightlife there.
AM in Italy. Friday, March 08, 2002 at 11:54:44 (PST)

susannah,

Did not mean to offend. I would not be more jealous. I'm just saying maybe he might THINK I'd be more jealous simply because he chose me, a blonde woman. And, anyway I don't think he'd THINK I'd be more jealous either--I just threw it out there as a possible reason. It's really not important and I think we all have enough other topics to talk about right now.
Southern White Girl Friday, March 08, 2002 at 10:55:39 (PST)

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