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POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
BrunetteGirl,
What a sweet man! My man took care of me when I had surgery too...we ARE lucky. I think I'm probably faster too 'cause it takes my guy too long to figure out where things are in the kitchen. But he does do a good job when he tries.
Southern White Girl
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 22:02:10 (PST)
Hey Rice Cooker,
One guy is about 29, very nice, speaks great English. I like this guy and want to see him happy because I don't think he just looks at a woman's physical appearance, but at the entire package (I think, at least). He is really looking for "marriage material" as far as I know. His mother said if he didn't find a wife by x date, she was setting him up, but I think he's been able to stall her. I know he has had a least one close friend who is a white girl, but he didn't think about more until it was too late and she was with someone else. I think he'll be ok on his own, and he certainly doesn't seem to have a problem finding Asian women, but I think he is more physically attracted to white women for whatever reason. Just how difficult are your friends though, because he does have a difficult Asian girlfriend (though I think they've broken up)? The plus is that it appears he goes for women who are somewhat difficult/fiesty, but that could just be a coincidence.
The other guy I don't know that I'd totally recommend myself. For one, he's in China now, but I'm also not sure how much I like him. He appears to be a real playboy, but I think he might just make comments to annoy me. The last time I saw him he seemed to be dating only Chinese gold-digging model types (even though I don't think he's THAT good looking himself). He also seems a bit bitter towards women since a divorce. Perhaps not the best prospect, but he is relatively good-looking, successful, and has expressed interest in white women. This guy is in his low-mid 30s I think.
It IS disturbing that your boyfriend's mother and friends would prefer to see him with an AF. How much does he listen to his mother? Let me tell you, I have been there (with a different guy). As long as he can think for himself you'll be ok I believe. I was 21 when I got married. I was still in college (but I still managed to finish a semester early, so it wasn't so bad--once I was married I couldn't wait to get out). (Ya know, down here yonder in the south that's how we do it, married by 17, 5 kids by 20...JUST kidding.)
I may not have access to email next week or for a while thereafter, but we'll catch up with each other eventually. I am home alone for good reasons :-) we're selling our house. It should be a good thing, I think. I'm a little uncertain about this because I love CA (I feel right at home in CA and in many ways don't even consider myself a "southerner"), but I think it will be ok in the end.
Southern White Girl
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 21:53:37 (PST)
And just to further clarify what I was trying to say: perhaps a white man married to a black woman might THINK his wife would be more jealous of another black woman than a blonde white woman because he chose to marry a black woman. This is the concept I was trying to express, nothing more.
Southern White Girl
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 21:01:15 (PST)
Mile High Asian Guy,
You can disregard my last comment about limiting yourself by being attracted only to brunettes. I didn't read the post where you say you've gotten to know some blonde women too. I'm glad you do at least try to look beyond hair color.
Apparently you haven't read all my posts either or I think you would have had a better idea of who I am and what I'm about and I don't think you would have misinterpreted my comment about black women looking at my husband. Things should be taken within context, but I guess that's not always possible when you can't remember everything someone else has posted.
Anyway, I would appreciate it if you don't interpret my posts for me. I think I'd rather clarify them myself if needed. If something I've said doesn't make sense to you just ask me what I meant.
Also, my "name" implies I'm from the south, however I the area I grew up in is not the deep south, and is actually just barely considered the south. I used the name "Southern White Girl" because I couldn't come up with anything better at the time. Anyway, I don't think any of this has anything to do with where I'm from. My "southern" family has been open-minded for years before I came along...I can trace my ancestry back to Pocohantas and her son Thomas Rolfe. So, maybe some southerners think they're better than others because they're white, but I don't think my family does. If I thought southern white blondes were so much better than others, why would I marry an Asian guy? And you never know, maybe in reality I'd be more jealous of someone who isn't blonde because she offers something that is different from me.
Southern White Girl
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 20:56:45 (PST)
"At least you can be friends and don’t forget that she definitely have some nice white female friends."
so why does it have to be white female friends and not other ethnicities? i'm not really looking into dating specifically white girls or any other; gues you can say i'm bought into the whole race-blind debacle -- although on some level it probably does matter. heck, i think i got unrealistic expectations but boozing and sleeping around like most college kids doesn't seem like my cup-o-tea.
as for they got boyfriend(s) or not, i'm not even going to bother with somebody who says they already got one. i might be old-fashioned or got old-country thinking, but i don't think it's honorable to mess with people's head. if a relationship is not working out, i'd prefer they say it and end it than hang around just to not be alone. but i do agree having friends is good for the mental health. although i have to dissent on exactly what "friend" is. seems americans have a very loose defintion and "friends" encompasses even acquaintances.
like i said, i'm happy being single at this point and at least video games on friday nights don't complain about me not giving them enough attention.
:)
villageidiot
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 18:26:32 (PST)
To All,
"What Southern White Girl is saying Susannah is that her husband comes home after a night of drinking and tell her that bw are staring at him, she thinks it's amusing; she's from the south, she's blonde, she's white so what would any bw have on her. But, if her husband were to come home and tell her that blondes were staring at him, she would find it to be an serious situation. By the way, I'm only attracted to brunettes myself."
Friday, March 08,2002 at 23:42:27 (PST)
FYI: This was written by an imposter. They're at work again!
The Real Mile High Asian Guy who is presently in the Grand Canyon State
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 17:23:50 (PST)
Hey people, help!!! I think I'm in love!! I met this incredibly gorgeous blonde at a workshop last night. She was sooo beautiful. All the guys were drooling over her. And she was so nice and kind to me. She asked questions about me and paid attention to what I said. The more I looked at her the more I realized how beautiful she was. She gave me her phone number and email. She even asked my what I was doing this weekend and stupid me said I was going out with a friend. Duh! I think I'm going to contact her soon. I'm just afraid if I'm falling for her too deeply now and she doesn't feel the same way about me, then I will get hurt. Maan, I haven't been in love for a long time! This is such a wonderful feeling. Hopefully it lasts. Wish me luck! BTW, she's originally from North Carolina, moved to NYC about a year ago. Any inputs would be appreciated to increase my chance of success...he.he.. I just can't keep her off my mind.
Guy in Luv
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 16:51:03 (PST)
Hey y'all, I'm back from Virginia and found it fairly snobbish in general. White southerners were very friendly and asked a lot of questions about life out west. Local WF were very curious with me but they're not too motivated to hook up with non-whites. I jokingly told one cute redhead that "I should take you back with me to the west coast" and she just lit up like a Christmas tree. There's definitely something odd going on in Virginia.
Confident ABC
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 14:40:29 (PST)
Chris (Poet/Warrior):
1- I live a double life, so I'm either very white or very asian in my mannerisms depending on the situation because I know neither side would understand.
2. Coastal cities have more positive history and view of asians overall. Asians have no negative history with South Afrikaans. In London, racial tension is negative due to job competition. English blokes like to chant "I'd rather be a Paki than a Turk!" at pubs and so forth. London is like LA where hate-mongers and peace-lovers live as neighbors.
3. No connection I think. Nice thing to see. Non-religious Jews are more open-minded than other Jews.
4. I can't answer that.
5. An AM/WF meet market would go out of business fast. I just go to the usual bars, clubs, and restaurants. It's not the place, it is the moment. I befriended a WF at a pizzeria and got her email address - in the narrow-minded state of Virginia, so you never know.
Confident ABC
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 14:40:10 (PST)
I personally grew up admiring my mother's dark brown hair and have often wished I had brown hair. Having been stared at constantly in China, because the blonde hair stands out, I often thought of dying my hair brown. So, I really think it's stepping out on a limb to imply blondes think no other women have anything on them. If some blondes do think they're so wonderful and if many women do want to be blonde, it is probably due to the media and men who reinforce this crazy idea that blondes are better. I think it's fine if there are guys out there who prefer other hair colors, or even prefer blondes as long as they are thinking for themselves and are open to getting to know the whole person.
I don't really understand why some guys on this forum are somewhat obsessed with physical attributes. I think it was fine to raise the question, "is there something going on between Asian men and blondes?", but really blondes, brunettes, European women...I don't see the women saying Korean guys are better, or they're only attracted to Chinese guys.
Mile High Asian Guy, I thought you said something about how Asian men and white women should approach each other as individuals, about how you treat white women like any other women...so if you are only attracted to brunettes does that mean you wouldn't give a woman with different hair color a chance? I think it's fine to have a preference, but it's sounds very limiting to ONLY be attracted to one thing.
It makes me wonder why some of you are interested in dating white women in the first place. It almost sounds like it's a status thing like "oh, man I banged this white chick."
What ever happened to an innocent, general physical attraction, or a deep connection in spite of cultural differences, or an admiration of general personality qualities white women might posess?
Southern White Girl
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 13:33:44 (PST)
Hi everyone,
I posted some ideas for meeting/pickup places. For some reasons part of it was not allowed here, if you wanna know the specific places I think WF/AM can find each other. Please email me.
Loving Tenor LovingTenor@bigfoot.com
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 12:01:42 (PST)
AM in Italy, and all the AM who get looks from hot blondes,
"And even amongst them, I seem to get the most looks from the platinum blonde Nordics."
Did you get those in bars/nightclubs? I haven't seen much of this kind of behavior yet. I am from a small town and I am not much of a bar hopper cause I get sick from the second hand smoke.
Loving Tenor
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 11:57:33 (PST)
Dear Mile High Asian Guy: I think we see eye to eye on this one. Yes, the world is fundamentally racist, and some places definitely more than others. But just because the rest of the world is racist, doesn't mean that one has to adopt that attitude themselves. I think the most ridiculous examples of racism, however, happen within an ethnic group that tries to outcast those who aren't as 'ethnic' as they are. I can't tell you how many times I've been called a 'banana' or 'white-washed'. I usually can't take those people seriously (many of them aren't worth taking seriously anyway).
In my opinion, that sort of cultural 'defensive retreat' only promotes stereotyping, and in the long run causes racial problems. Those of us who are able to rise above such arbitrary differences such as ethnicity, religion and sexual preference, are usually pulled down by those who cannot.
And while we're at it, is this really a boasting ground for sexual exploits? "Mon?"
Loving Tenor: Airports? Airport bars? That just doesn't make sense to me. I've met some people on planes, but that's easy because you're sitting next to them. I've never heard of airports being pickup places...and besides, the cover charge is pretty steep. :)
Chris (Poet/Warrior) (it's a line from a Coppola movie) fearless1976@yahoo.com
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 11:48:48 (PST)
Mile High Asian Guy,
Whatever. You know, I haven't even lived in the south in years for what it's worth. I live in CA now, but I was open-minded long before. And for what it's worth I've seen some beautiful black women. The last time I was in a bar I met a gorgeous black woman in the restroom (not that I was seeking pretty women out so don't go labeling me a southern lesbian next) and I told her she was beautiful to her face. Believe me, she would have given me just as much, if not more, theoretical reason to be jealous had she stared at my husband. The only thing I found "amusing" was that they apparently STARED, which is just different from what I would do. I'm sure blondes, brunetttes, whatever looked at him too. Maybe they just didn't stare so he didn't notice, or maybe he noticed the black women. Perhaps black women stared becuase they were bold, or perhaps they felt they connected with someone else of color in a crowded place. I was hoping someone else would offer an intelligent reason, but apparently I am the one who has to do the real thinking, gee and I'm blonde. I threw that comment out there because someone else brought up the whole issue of eye contact. I could care less if a blonde was staring at him. I would be equally amused. I simply said maybe he THOUGHT I would be jealous over a blonde...because apparently, according to many of you the damn standard is blonde, which I myself find ridiculous. Besides, do you think blondes benefit from people thinking they are the s@#t?! The result is that guys have a tendency to treat them as a fantasy, a sex object, and take them less seriously. Who is sterotyping about southern and blonde women now?....hummmm Any woman can stare at my man and I'll take it as an amusing complement, not because I think I'm the blonde standard, but because I know I am deep, genuine and unique and it would not be easy for him to find someone else like me just as it wouldn't be easy for me to find someone else like him (god knows this forum has convinced me of that!).
Southern White Girl
Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 11:29:38 (PST)
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