Asian Male/White Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 23%
Their attitude and personality | 12%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 12%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 72%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 16%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 74%
Their physique | 7%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 5%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 8%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 72%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 19%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Trisha from Manhattan,

Tribeca, I know exactly where that is. It's near Canal Street (Chinatown), the site of the World Trade Center, and SoHo. I used to go to the dentist in that area. Anyway, you say that you're blonde and attractive. However, I don't think you're as good looking as I am. (I'm NOT saying that you're unattractive, but you just don't compare to me) LOL :-)
BTW, I'm a sexy single asian man. ;-)
lordt78 Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 07:14:32 (PDT)

I went to the fireworks display on the riverfront tonight. It was so cool! I saw this girl, she looked just like Shakira! She was so hot!
Sam Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 19:55:56 (PDT)

I have met a few AM from work. They are really alluring. One of them asked me out on a date, and I said yes. We have a really great chemistry together. It feels like we are perfect together. I would like for it to become more physical. He is being so kind and polite. I just want to rip his clothes off sometimes! But I dont want to be brash about it. I was taught to be a lady, and I always keep very composed.
Its really hard to do sometimes!Hmmm!
Michelle K. Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 15:06:52 (PDT)

Jewish Girl:

I am just curious to know. Are you jewish by faith? Or ethnic Jewish? I hope you dont feel offended by my questions, I would just like to know. I have dated a girl who was jewish by faith before, she used to live in Chicago. We saw each other for about 5 months, then we broke it off eventually.
Her family had issues about her being in a relationship with a man outside of the faith. Does your family have similar views? And is it more of a culture or an ethnicity issue?
L.Xiangstyle Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 14:28:33 (PDT)

I have dated WM all my life. Its all I have ever known. I have never dated otherwise. I have thought about dating an asian man once. He was really hot. He went to the gym on Wednessdays, the same as me. It had crossed my mind a couple of times to talk to him.

Megan Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 11:16:39 (PDT)

ABT:
Thats really cool that your from CT
Where do you live now? Are you still out here here in CT?
Please feel free to email me. I would like to talk to you.
SunRoses4ever@aol.com Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 10:00:36 (PDT)

Gina Gianelli:

I just moved here to the Lynnwood area in washington state. I dont really know anyone here, its like unfamiliar territory for me. I moved here from Minnesota. Where do you meet asian men here? I havent' a clue and would like to meet some. I also want to know if you still DJ. Are most of the raves in downtown seattle? I love rave music!
Belly Ring Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 09:37:26 (PDT)

My pops is itallian. I personally think AM are classy and have a great sense of style. I am going to Hong Kong in May to visit a female friend. I am so excited about it. I have finally learned to speak cantonese very well. I am impressed.This will be my first trip out of the states, besides the Amalfi Coast and Venice,and that was to visit family. This will be more exciting and fun. =)
short red Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 08:06:58 (PDT)

I put an ad in a singles column. I put that I am a WF seeking an AM. I got alot of responses from east indian, saudi arabian and pakistani men. I was a bit suprised. I was seeking men who were like korean,thai, chinese, japnese, filipino-
those types of asian men. I didn't know that pakistani and east indian men were considered asian. Has it always been that way? Well, I am not attracted to them and they are not what I was seeking. My coworker said I should have been more specific in my ad. But how can you be specific without sounding rude or prejudiced about it.
Leanne Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 07:39:34 (PDT)

I have never dated an AM.
I've thought about it. I am shy.
How do AM view virginity? Is it seen as lame? I really don't date anyone right now. I have a crush on the AM that owns the resteraunt a couple of blocks away. I haven't said anything to him about it. I dont know if hes attracted to WW. The asian women that work with him are really pretty and it looks like he really notices them. I would say something to him but I dont know what to say. My heart beats fast everytime I see this man.I am not really into chinese food its not my favorite,I just go there just to see him. He is so damn goodlooking. He smiles at me sometimes, and one time he told me that I was pretty. I really have a crush on him.
Shaney down south Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 06:27:34 (PDT)

I wonder how AM view age the age factor when dating. I have been dating a guy who is 24 years old. I am 32 years old. I take care of myself and look very good for 32. I dont smoke,drink, never have taken drugs or anything. I always eat very healthy and watch my diet.
I met his parents, and they really liked me alot. Especially his mom, we are both teachers. He told me later that his parents thought I was in my early twenties.
One of his friends had a dinner party and invited us. The subject of age came up, and it seemed all of a sudden such an issue. They wanted to know our age difference. I am not ashamed, so naturally I told them. It got so quiet. They acted as though I were telling them I had a disease! Since then, they have been acting really peculiar towards Steve and I. I have even heard rumors from a few other people saying I probably date my students. I have never dated a student. It would make me very unprofessional, and its just not ethical.
It made me wonder if age was a big deal when it came to culture. Mostly everyone at the dinner party were AM. There were a few women, girlfriends and wives...it just made me wonder about it.
Elizabeth L. Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 06:02:20 (PDT)

Trish From Manhattan,

I live in Staten Island but frequent Tribeca...Email me at smfrny456@aol.com

AM from SI
AM from SI smfrny456@aol.com Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 04:54:49 (PDT)

Mile High Asian Guy,

I think it's great that you look at a woman's personality when considering a long term relationship. I'm just wondering if you wouldn't mind elaborating, though, on what a great personality would mean for you. To me, a "great personality" is a broad term, but maybe that's because I've read a lot about personality type. Do you mean you look for someone who is outgoing and happy, or someone who has a personality similar to or opposite your own, or that you look for someone who is a "good person" with high values such as honesty, etc...I think typically in our society a "great personality" means extroverted, easy going, straight-forward. I also think the "ideal" personality type in Asian culture is a bit different, perhaps introverted (and I use this term in a good sense even though our culture sometimes doesn't), modest, disciplined... I'm not trying to critique you, I'm just curious.
Southern White Girl Friday, April 19, 2002 at 14:31:42 (PDT)

Just want to say the post below was written by one of those nutjob imposters. I have to say, "imposter" I'm strangely flattered that you find my posts so intriguing you'd want to pretend you're me:

"Ttysterm,

I acted "shy" when I was dating my husband. Of course, after we got married he realized that I'm not shy at all, but that didn't bother him. He fell in love with the real me. I acted shy because at the time, I was in his home country and I was just respecting his traditions which he found appealing that I, a foreigner, could understand and adapt so well. So, I wasn't acting shy to fool him, I was acting shy to get what I wanted which was him. I got him so it must have worked, right. Everybody, wish me luck on my move, our place is empty and I won't be able to come around much.
Southern White Girl Friday, March 15, 2002 at 23:26:55 "

I don't think I've ever really implied that I pretended to by shy when dating my husband. I may have once mentioned that I approached my husband first which was somewhat assertive but did it in a "shy" way, meaning I was not overly aggresive. And I did not intentionally do it that way hoping to "snag" him, that was and is just who I am. It had nothing to do with pretending I was something I'm not. And just for the record, "imposter", aside from introducing myself to my husband and his group of friends, my husband pursued me (not that it matters). The truth is I liked him a lot and there was a lot of chemistry there, but for several reasons I was a bit hesitant at the time (reasons having nothing to do with the fact that he was Asian). And as far as honesty goes, before I married my husband I even told him "you know I'm not ALWAYS a nice person." And you know, I know there are ways in which I HAVE changed since dating my husband, after all I was only 20 when we met. In fact, I think since I've been married I've become a more confident person who stands up for myself if I have to, and of all things I probably have my assertive Chinese husband to thank for teaching me this. If people were static over time, they would be very boring and stubborn, not to mention closed-minded.

Anyway, Ttysterm, don't worry, I know you didn't know this post wasn't really from me. I, too, value honesty in a relationship and would much rather be loved fully for all that I really am rather than something I've pretended to be. But I do think sometimes in the dating scene people don't present everything about themselves right away. This is pretty normal, and in fact, it would be weird if you were on a first date and the person went into depth about their childhood or something. And I think sometimes people might be nervous and mistakenly show a side of themselves that isn't the "real" them. That is why I believe you should give people a second chance and, like you said, really get to know them. Anyway, I think dating can be a stressful thing at times and I sometimes really feel for my single friends. It's easy to say you should just relax and be yourself, but that is hard for some people to do around someone they are attracted to but hardly know. Just my two cents worth.

The Real Southern White Girl Friday, April 19, 2002 at 14:08:53 (PDT)

Strawberry Blond:

Maybe you are better off finding out just what he ISN'T made of, before you got even more involved. You deserve better. Still it hurts doesn't it, and it leaves a bad taste. Were you guys together a long time?

Good luck in finding a real man who isn't afraid of the opinions of others.

Philly Friday, April 19, 2002 at 13:26:42 (PDT)

Interpreted :)
Yes. My fantasy is to someday be in the arms of a beautiful asian man.
Who knows what the future brings!!!!!
molti baci (many kisses to you Ronbo and Tall and tan)
Donna (Maine USA) Friday, April 19, 2002 at 13:07:03 (PDT)

Trisha from Manhattan,

Why don't you just look South of Bleaker towards Canal St. I'm sure you find a ton of them there.
AC Dropout Friday, April 19, 2002 at 13:00:50 (PDT)

I am an AM that somewhat fits the socially inept and shy stereotype that is described elsewhere on this site. I didnt even know this until I read about it here. I wear glasses, work with computers, and hardly talk to anyone but at 6' at least I'm not short. The few women I have dated have all been WFs. This has not been a matter of preference on my part. This is the only type of woman that has approached me or shown any kind of interest in me. I think its because WFs are typically more aggressive than AFs or it could be like I read, most AFs are whitewashed and won't give and AM the time of day.
P Friday, April 19, 2002 at 12:48:01 (PDT)

Donna, are you a blonde, blue-eyed Italian woman? Interesting... I'm living in Rome right now, and there arent many of those in this country, even up in Northern Italy.
Korean American in a sea of Italians Friday, April 19, 2002 at 12:07:21 (PDT)

Hey welcome back Southern White Girl!! I tried to email you , and it came back, so I am glad to see you again! Isn't moving fun? ( ha!). You missed the horrible Insta-poll experience...can't blame them for trying a new idea, but it did not lend itself to much conversation.
Write me if you would like - I was thinking it would be interesting to write to another WF with an AM husband, and we could share stories and perspectives!
Happy Clam wschien1@mchsi.com Friday, April 19, 2002 at 11:31:49 (PDT)

Strawberry Blonde,
If you don't mind me asking, did you have an idea what his parents thought of not just interracial dating, but you? Did they like you individually, but just didn't approve of AM/WF marriage in general? My true story: the first time I ever invited a WF to meet my parents was at age 30(!!). I invited her home for Thanksgiving dinner after 6 months of dating, because I wanted to establish that this woman was serious in my life. And that she was going to be my future wife. My parents are rather easygoing people (first generation Taiwanese-Americans, but here since 1969), so I knew there was no conflict there. My girlfriend understood the seriousness of my gesture, especially since we flew in from Canada to the NYC area together. It wasn't like she was just in the neighborhood, and easy to invite!! So as we sat down to dinner with 10 family members in attendance, my father remarks with complete sincerity "We've been waiting 30 years to meet you." GF goes red and the face and wants to die, but is nonetheless pleased! *smile* A word of advice: if he is ambivalent or vague about inviting a WF home to meet his parents, CAUTION!

Take Care,
NJ_CornellGuy

NJ_CornellGuy james193a@yahoo.com Friday, April 19, 2002 at 09:53:51 (PDT)

To Strawberry Blond,
Your ex was a coward! Most AMs will only introduce their girlfriends to their parents if they are marriage-minded about them, so I'm sorry to observe that he wasn't serious about you. If you do happen to be interested in another AM, get that issue out of the way quickly! Ask him about his last white GF, or what he would do in that situation. Good luck!

To Trisha In Tribeca,
I live in New Jersey, but work on the East Side. If you're interested in possibly meeting for coffee, feel free to drop me a line (a photo of me is part of my Yahoo profile, by the way)!

Best Wishes To All,
NJ_CornellGuy
NJ_CornellGuy james193a@yahoo.com Friday, April 19, 2002 at 09:14:17 (PDT)

Trisha....I'm in G.Village...off Bleecker...

Andy from Manhattan Friday, April 19, 2002 at 07:47:02 (PDT)

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