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ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Dim Sum Girl,
Why are you posting comments on here?
I hope that you don't take this the wrong way. I mean this in all sincerity. This poll is strictly for AM and WFs. Not otherwise. You are not an Asian Man, and you are definitely not a White Female. I suggest that you post elsewhere. Besides, your post have nothing to do with encouraging interracial relationships. I have read some of your other posts, and you are not even in an interracial relationship. Stop bringing your comments to our forum. I am not trying to be mean or to humiliate you at all. I don't have a problem with people posting usually. I am also usually a very positive and racially open minded, free thinking person. But like I said before, I have read some of your other posts. I don't think its appropriate for you to post comments on here, I just don't see why you should. Especially with the 'views' you have about certain people in general. I have read your on how you feel about WFs' and others. I was insulted by your comments. But I was tempted to post my feelings but instead, I held back. It was not for me to post on that poll, because it was not a poll for AM and WF. So I was respectful of that. But here you come to our poll with the way you feel about us. I think you shouldn't come back on here. And if you do, I doubt if you will receive much respect by anyone on here. I think its really a waste time for you to post anymore on here.
my feelings ...
Sunday, May 26, 2002 at 07:57:56 (PDT)
Hi,
I'm a single Asian Male thinking about moving to San Diego. Can anyone tell me if it's conducive towards interracial dating or meeting white females? Generally, the West coast is more open minded, but I'm not sure about San Diego.
Possibily moving to San Diego
Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 08:17:21 (PDT)
I think it is natural in any relationship to have moments of self doubt and uncertainty. If it happens to be an AM/WF situation, then it's likely that the thoughts expressed here about "will he ultimately want an Asian girl?" are going to cross your mind.
I recall in the early stage of dating I wondered on occasion whether there would ever be some kind of compatability issue I would be unable to bridge since I am a WF. My AM never said anything to this effect, nor did I ever get any sense that there was some kind of vast middle ground - filled with all the attributes and qualities only another Asian person could offer - that I could not cross. I just merely went through the normal uncertainties one feels when they start to feel serious about someone and want it to work, and this concern was many of many silly ones I rolled around in my mind.
Perhaps if my husband's family had been vocal about wanting him to marry Asian ( they weren't at all ) and he would have felt a need to please them despite his own choice of me , or if there were enormous differences between us because I would be unaccepting or unsupportive of his culture - then there would have been reason to think it would fail. But that would only have meant that we - as two individuals, whatever the race - just didn't much click.
I think a soulmate means just that - a connection of the souls. Its not color based, religion based - it's much more pure and organic ( for lack of a better word). So if two people are meant to be soulmates, no issue of ethnicity will stand in the way. Perhaps I am just a hopeless romantic : )
I would advise the WFs dating AMs to just cultivate the relationship they are in and be open and sharing within it. If you see yourself as being a novelty or a diversion, not only will that be subtly conveyed in ways he will pick up ( insecurity can be almost tangible ),but it also should alert you to the fact that you are not allowing yourself to really just " be " within the relationship. Does that make sense? If you are kind of " on alert" for this inevitably, you simply cannot be at one with that person - you will be holding back. Let me give you an example from my own life - if I go somewhere with my husband and I am feeling a little frumpy and moody and insecure and then theres some charming attractive woman there who I am fearful will attract him - if I get so twisted up in that fear , then I am going to not only fail to be an enjoybale companion ( and hardly enjoying myself) , but that very attitude of jealousy will be REALLY annoying and unattractive to my husband. So I have learned , in those situations, to just have faith that what we have transcends such moments, and whats the harm in other people being interesting to him in such an instance?
Well I am totally off track now. I always do this lately!! LOL!
Have faith and retain all about you that is you, and that attracted him to you ( concentrate more on all you are, and not on what you aren't or can never be) - and if its meant to happen it will be. Remember that he may have insecurities about you as well ,and may wonder if you would only ever seriously consider a WM for a partner. Its amazing that as love breaks down barriers, we as humans do have a tendency to resurrect them - so make it a rule to reinforce within your own mind and within your relationship all that is good and right - don't water the weeds, water the flowers!!
Happy Clam
Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 07:47:05 (PDT)
Hey Curious Girl,
You are very welcome!
Yeah, I am still with this beautful brunette WF for over five years. She's still and has always been the one & only girl I have ever ever dated and will ever ever want. :)However, I sometimes do fear the worst like you do from the AM perspective.
Happy Memorial Holiday to All!
Your Friendly Neighborhood AM Soulmate
Friday, May 24, 2002 at 18:39:32 (PDT)
"it's not up to me to decide if they could be together, it's their life and their happiness...i don't mean to sound rude. But that is how i feel."
going with the assumption that this is not a trollism, it's unfortunate that you've met one of those "playahs" but you got to keep in mind that they exist in every ethnic group. as much it pains you to see other WF/AM, i think there's a good quote that "those who are unhappy wishes the worse for others while those who are happy wish for the best in others." so maybe you need some time to think and get away from the dating-scene for awhile. if anything as maybe some of the other females would attest or the census would indicate that asian-americans have the LOWEST divorce rates of any group. and i don't see this fact changing anytime because of our very hardcore-instilled-early mentality about the value of family and never to divorce. now go listen to some reggae and "don't worry everything will be alright."
villageidiot
Friday, May 24, 2002 at 13:19:09 (PDT)
To >:oP ,
I have been writing to Loving Tenor. He is a very nice man. He has a wonderful heart. I don't know him that well yet, hopefull I will learn more. From what I have learned about him, he seems to be a very sweet and understanding guy. Hes far from being a player or a bad person.
Ok everyone. On to bigger and better things right????? What is with this negative and whining all of the time?
WoW! Is there anyone with anything happy to say? We have seen enough whining and complaining. There are a few very positive comments on here. Lets stick to them and shut out the negative people. Okay? It feels much better to hear good things about AM who adore WFs, and WFs who adore AM.
Your Friendly Neighborhood AM Soulmate,
I am sorry that you feel that way. I have an attraction to AM because they are AM. If they were WM I would not have the attraction. There is something about them that draws me. Sometimes I think I haven't quite figured it out yet. But, I do that what I feel isn't just some illusion. Its definitely for real. I will never date a WM again. There are some qualities they are lacking in. I won't be mean and list them. My preference is most definitely AM.
(love & kisses) from tribeca :o)
Friday, May 24, 2002 at 11:58:15 (PDT)
CBC and villageidiot,
Sorry to hear that you've been treated so badly by WFs. But to those of us in relationships with AMs, we don't think that worrying about whether or not they'll leave us for an AF is a "trivial" matter.
Hi Gina G,
You're right, thanks for the positive advice. :) Obviously there's something about me he likes to have stayed with me for 3 years right? But have you read the forum on the front page called "Reality of IRs" lately? There are some really infuriating posts from AFs that basically say that "WFs can never understand an AM like an AF could, you should come back to us. Only we can understand each other's jokes", so how is that supposed to make me feel?
Nick, I'm mid twenties, live in Northeast.
curious girl
Friday, May 24, 2002 at 11:14:30 (PDT)
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