Asian Male/White Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 61%
Their physique | 22%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 11%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 74%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 15%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 73%
Their physique | 6%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 6%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 73%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 17%

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

"When Geoffrey laughs, his eyes are smiling moons. When he sleeps, his lashes are like caterpillar legs, straight and stiff. I hope our children will have caterpillar-moon eyes and will know Jewish culture.

We had a Chinese banquet for a rehearsal dinner, and a rabbi officiated at our wedding. We live on a continuum, hovering between East and West. I took Chang as my name to honor this blend, and our choices."

That was an excerpt from the NYtimes article. It was really good, such a happy story.

(PS all this bickering about name stealing is driving me absolutely insane).

curious girl Monday, June 03, 2002 at 12:58:21 (PDT)

The article in New York Times is written by Pari Chang nee Berk. She took her husband's name, thus causing some mental dissonance in people who assume that "Chang" means Chinese or at least biracial.

This reminds me of the time when I was going through college long time ago. I came upon the realization one day that most of the WFs who actively demonstrated interest in me had Jewish surnames.

I wasn't sure why this was the case. Perhaps it was the similarities in culture (emphasis on education, entreprenurial spirit, etc.). Or perhaps it was their liberal bent. In any event, I have quite a few of these WFs to thank for my most memorable - and romantic - college moments.

As for showing IP address: Here at the office, we have two other Asian guys (that I know of) in addition to myself who visit GoldSea and post once in a while. Because we are going out through a T1 connection, all three of us will have the same external IP address. Thus, a formula would make us look like one individual. Furthermore, the external IP can be traced to our place of employment, so my guess is that if a scheme were to be implmented, none of us will be posting much more messages.

I generally don't like to make things more complicated, but in this case I think the addition of a password system may still be the best solution.

SoCal Asiam Monday, June 03, 2002 at 09:11:57 (PDT)

[We did try out a password system for this page and it didn't seem to go over very well. We may reconsider one in the future, if we can satisfy ourselves of a suitable format. --Ed]

curious girl:

I read a few posts on that Asian Air forum about AM and nAFs.. It just pretty much reiterates (spelling?) and confirms what I had in mind about how AF feel about AM dating WF.. Just plain insecurity.... In my experience they've always loved flaunting their relationship with a WM in front of me, which really does in some way hurt because they're sending you a message. I believe I can accuse asian women of spreading misandry against asian men. Ok ok, so asian women are not the only women that might dislike asian men. I'm sure there have been plenty of WFs that have given me the cold shoulder because of my ethnicity and I probably even wasn't aware of it... Its all part of this huge cultural dynamic. Gah, it confuses me to even think about it...

So why do AFs dislike seeing AM/WF relationships? Well I can think up quite a few reasons, but its nothing concrete... Maybe its something they don't expect asian men to do. Or maybe its because they believe asian men can't get with caucasian women.

But getting back to reality, of course being an ethnic minority is tough. You gotta deal with crap the majority of people don't have to take. But my question is what makes an AF think they can understand AM? Or better yet ME??
Is it because I'm asian that they automatically think they know me? Its something of a chopstick complex......

In the end though, I believe more and more in forming my own aesthetic about my life in relation to the world. I'm afraid vast populations of asian youth are walking down the road of pride for all the wrong reasons. Hell, regardless of skin color among young women, there can be a helluva lotta superficiality.

Heh, I scratch my head and wonder. I sit here digressing about interracial relationships in the early hours of the morning, yet I'm not getting off my rear end and meeting real girls out there. There's my real problem!!! I need to unplug.
CBC in Montreal samueltam@hotmail.com Monday, June 03, 2002 at 00:00:37 (PDT)

First of all, this forum is a Godsend! (How I love the internet!) Anyways, I grew up in predominantly non-Asian communities (we moved quite a bit). Hence, my initial attraction to the opposite sex tended to gravitate towards WFs almost exclusively (there was that one breathtaking Latina, but that's another story for a different board). However, my luck with women was simply abysmal; nothing but unrequited 'love'. It was not until undergrad when I was introduced to the possibility of AFs that I began dating.

However, last month, and a handful of AM/AF relationships later, I found myself enamored by a certain new WF co-worker. She was such a free spirit and happy person that my heart palpitations literally sped up each time she looked at me, spoke to me, or simply graced me with her presence. I mean I could literally feel the sudden surge of blood gushing to every last remote corner of my being in her presence. Her smile could melt an iceberg, as it surely did my heart. After a few late-nights and a weekend working overtime together, I found her to be genuinely friendly, outgoing, nonjudgmental, a veritable optimist, not to mention extremely bright.

Unfortunately, she quit after only three weeks due to a disagreement with management. Luckily, I managed to get her email and cell number, under the guise of keeping in touch as friends, and we have communicated via email since in which I basically told her how much I admired her, both as a person and professionally. I believe I also related Jewel's song, 'Hands', to her, and told her how the song really reminded me of her as I was driving home on her last day (although at the time I thought she would stay another week before actually leaving).

My dilemma and question for anyone who has suffered through my incoherent rambling thus far is, how might I find out if she would be receptive to the idea of an AM/WF relationship, short of asking her outright? Last thing I want to do is scare her away and ruin whatever semblance of a friendship we might have. While I don't believe that I am socially introverted, I do readily admit to being somewhat shy and often find it outright difficult initiating when it comes to romance. Any insights and constructive comments, especially from the WF forumners here, would be gratefully appreciated. =)

Lanterna Magicus
Lanterna Magicus lanterna_magicus@yahoo.com Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 23:54:57 (PDT)

"I'd like you to read the recent exchanges and tell me what you think."

why are you getting so worked up over nothing? that forum was devoted to AM going non-AF and those AF has no right to say or do those kinds of things. ignore the trolls and they'll go away eventually since that irmen board is not frequently visited anyway by peeps.
villageidiot Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 21:06:09 (PDT)

Ghost Writer NYC:
Go someplace else with that lame story. This is not the place for it. Why come here with such a story if your not even with a WW? Are you honestly that lame? Or are you pretending to be lame?
When did your lobotomy happen? We all feel your pain.
>:o ... Grrrr!!!! Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 07:05:40 (PDT)

FYI there's a very interesting article in the NY Times House & Home Section (5/30/02) about a AM/WF relationship and the WF's thoughts and experiences of marriage to a Chinese man. What do you think?
am student Friday, May 31, 2002 at 20:52:40 (PDT)

You know , in light of the talk about name stealing - and there is lots of it if one goes back through the postings...( not to beat a dead horse here Editors...) but the recent posting by Cute N Blonde where she says " whats with the Ebonics?" rang a bell. So I looked back and found one of my old postings

>>> Hmmm " Just a girl"...

>>LOL Villageidiot!!!!
Happy Clam is right! LOL!!!
Whats with the ebonics? LOL!!!
just a girl Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 07:02:08 (PDT)<<

Next time just put your name to your thoughts...don't use mine in the future, okie dokie??
Happy Clam Friday, April 26, 2002 at 11:57:00 (PDT) <<<<

So Cute N Blonde - looks like I know who stole my name, as you are the only one to use this phrase not once, but twice.
Can you say " busted?"

Happy Clam Friday, May 31, 2002 at 20:46:00 (PDT)

GoldSea Editors:

Here's an idea. Take the IP address of the poster. Fix a good mathematical formula to convert the IP address into another number. Different IP addresses will have to be mapped to different numbers. This serves to uniquely identify posters while preserving their privacy. Of course, this won't work well with those who have dynamic IP addresses, but it's still a good idea. Just find a good mathematical formula (that's an injective function of the IP address).

AM Mathematician =) Friday, May 31, 2002 at 13:44:05 (PDT)

[Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. --Ed]

You guys have got to check out what's been going on in the "AM seeking out non asian women" forum in Asian Air. I'd like you to read the recent exchanges and tell me what you think.
curious girl Friday, May 31, 2002 at 11:04:07 (PDT)

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