Asian Male/White Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 61%
Their physique | 22%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 11%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 74%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 15%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 73%
Their physique | 6%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 6%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 73%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 17%

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

I have found that the friendliest and most handsome of all asian men are the koreans. They are such gentlemen and highly romantic.
prima ballerina Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 04:39:01 (PDT)

Brunette girl, Too!

This person is very fond of you. When I was younger I acted in the same manner towards a girl I liked.

You need to collect some information. Ask him "Does he find white girls attractive." Pay attention to his response and then inquire if he has ever gone out on a date with a white female. Chances are that he hasn't. Inexperience can cause people to do many silly things they normally wouldn't do. He sounds a little shy.

Would I be mistaken to say that you have an interest in him beyond friendship? If so, then you have to make the first move. And it has to be a obvious "hit me over the head over and over" type of move.
Hope this helps Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 01:15:00 (PDT)

I love WF's. Many of them are very kind and pretty, but I feel that a lot of them are not interested in Asian guys.
single Asian male cty22835@centurytel.net Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 22:57:29 (PDT)

I am a handsome single Christian Asian male, 31 years old, working as a pharmacist in Washington State. If any ladies are interested to be friends, please email me at
-- Pharmacist
Handsome single Christian Asian male cty22835@centurytel.net Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 22:44:55 (PDT)

Asian Machiavelli,

I think I may have misinterpreted your last comment. Sorry for this.

Delphine
Koksijde aan zee Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 14:58:18 (PDT)

Asian Machiavelli,

Do you really believe that for Asian men, getting a white women to date and marry them is nothing but a conquest? Or do you think that AMs/WFs can have great, happy, real relationships, but that the conquest is the real factor behind him choosing her? I'd like to hear more about your theory. It made me wonder if my boyfriend views me as a conquest, I kind of hope not.

Yoona,

Well there are lots of things you can do to get guys to notice you. How old are you? Are you a very shy, quiet and timid person? If so you can try to become a little more outgoing, talkative and hang out more. You can go for the usual female tactics of getting a new haircut, I find that's a great confidence booster! Or doing something else small to change your image. Or you can develop your interests, maybe take a cooking class, that's a great way to meet guys. Just get out there and give it a try! Be confident and believe in yourself!
curious girl Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 14:38:08 (PDT)

Proud 2 b Azn and Brunette girl,

I would have to agree with your assessments on how most AM approach a girl that they're interested in. Many times, it almost seems as if AM avoid the situation then persue it. They stand back and observe how she acts instead of taking the initiative. They will drop a small hint and when the girl doesn't bit he will back off a bit. Girls are not used to this subtlety and will usually dismiss it. Hence, the reason why AM/WF relationships take so long to develop. The AM/WF couples on this forum seem to confirm that fact. It seems that they would "almost" always rather build a friendship and work off of that then to go head first into a relationship. Of course there are always those who are an exception to the rule.

Just my 2 cents on the whole Blonde vs Brunette discussion. Blondes obviously stand out more. The bright hair instantly catches your eye whether they are actually attractive or not. It's just like going out to the clubs, the girl who dresses the part will get the most neck breaking looks. But just because brunettes don't have that eye catching hair color does not mean that they're not attractive. There are many absolutely stunning brunettes.
Mile High Asian Guy Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 11:49:01 (PDT)

"Sorry, Burnette Girl for taking your name"
another brunette girl

I think its really cool how Brunette Girl stated that she was also a brunette girl and not deliberately trying to steal someones s/n. That shows shes a woman with class and morals.
Megan Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 10:46:50 (PDT)

Blonde or Brunette ?
I love every women except for bold one.
Hair color doesn't matter.

Pangolin Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 09:55:40 (PDT)

I forgot to mention . . .

AM psychologue, Brunette Girl and Curious Girl,

I forgot to thank you and ask you, does this work for Asian guys in general or is it more characteristic with, say, second-generation Chinese men? This guy is a first generation Japanese-American guy.

As far as your explanation, that seems so true with what he's doing. We actually had a really ugly argument about getting together and we didn't speak for months after that--he was far more suggestive about it and then he suddenly changed--like he got scared off or something. Needless to say, we don't talk about what happened at all.

SOG,
Yes, I am super shy. It took me months before I got the courage to ask him what was going on--just as friends.

Gah!,
Concerning your childish comment, you know what? Sometimes I wish that were true. It would be a hell of a lot easier to deal with. I would have dropped him a long time ago. But he has genuine respect for me (in his own special way), so he wouldn't do that.

confuzdAM,
What is your heart telling you to do? Do you like kids? Do these women have fantastic personalities? Just go for it and don't worry about the social pressures. You wouldn't be dating the society, too, only the WF you are interested in.

*Whew!* Hope I didn't forget anything else!

Ciao!
Brunette girl, too! Friday, June 21, 2002 at 23:50:45 (PDT)

An ex-roomate of mine in college was a Mormon from upstate New York. He had a Chinese brother in law. Hahaha... it was pretty funny seeing his family album... a sea of lily-white faces with one single black-haired Chinese dude. And know this -- to marry a Mormon, you have to convert. A Chinese MORMON>?! Hahahah... that was a funny discovery. His sister was actually very pretty, and I'm not making any concessions... she truly was quite beautiful. Props to the Chinese dude.
Thas laughs, cuz... Friday, June 21, 2002 at 18:18:36 (PDT)

Brunette Girl,

Are you stupid?? Hello>?? He LIKES YOU. But I'll bet a hundred that you already know that. You're just not attracted to him sexually/romantically, so you're just giving him the emotional ride of his life. It seems like he is doing the same thing too, by trying to make you jealous. Is it working on you? If not, then I think you shoudl stop leading this guy on. I think that he likes you and is trying to get you to notice him by making you jealous, but he is too timid to actually make a move on you. That's why he keeps talking around you in social situations and flirts with girls he isnt really attracted to. He must be very knowledgeable about female games -- this is EXACTLY what women do to get a guy's attention.
go playa..... Friday, June 21, 2002 at 18:13:46 (PDT)

Chris Poet,

Cybil Shepard is not a beautiful blonde. She looks like Skeletor in the face and has no curves. She looks cold in person and cold in bed. If an image of her is what got you to suddenly find blondes hot, then I really don't know what to say to you. Also, what benefit would it be for Asian men to be the flavor of the month? Wouldn't it be better if all women, black, white, hispanic was to see Asian men as the flavor all the time?

ConfuzdAM,

Please don't date a WF who is divorced because you will have problems with her ex husband. Also, don't date a WF who has a child out of wedlock because that's proof that she is not a responsible person and you may end up a daddy without your consent. Yes, steer clear of those kind of relationships. There are plenty of single WF's who has been never married and who don't have any children for Asian men to date. Good luck!

Asian Machiavelli,

Why should the abiltiy to attract and marry a WF be a conquest for an Asian male? This make WF targets and not true love interests. You're saying that Asian men are just using WF's to boost their egos. How sad that is.

Loves WF Blondes,

You sound more like a blonde than a real Asian man. Why would Asian, white, black, or hispanic guys literally most likely pick out a blonde from a crowd of dark hair women, as you said? Most Asian, White, Black or Hispanic guys would first pick out their own women in a crowd of blondes. And because a woman is blonde does not make her a beauty queen. Would you take Linda Tripp over Cindy Crawford or a black brunette like Halle Berry?

Megan,

Whenever a racist defend themselves by saying that they are not a racist, they always say several predictable things and you said a couple of them. Look back at what you said to defend yourself and think about the way it appears.

"How can I be in a relationship with an AM and be a racist?"

"I also have many close non-asian and asian friends."

White racists date outside of their race every day and even marry. I know people who have married Asians and will call other Asians racist names.

Also, having friend of different races doesn't eliminate deep racist feelings that you were raised with.

Excuse my French, but screwing outside of your race doesn't make you less a racist. It doesn't even make you more open minded.

TheyWhoKnows Friday, June 21, 2002 at 15:28:20 (PDT)

AM psychologue wrote: "The reason is that AAM tend to overestimate possible negative reactions as part of their defense-mechanism against embarrassment and humiliation, something that every AAM experiences profoundly at one point or another and never wishes to re-experience."

I rarely ever go up to any WF anymore, after a few time of rejections. Not the type where she tells you that she wasn't interested (i got no problem with that), but the type of stares that says "how dare you for even coming up to me". Most AMs and myself included will wait for clear signal of interest before we will act. I know these experiences are not exclusive to AMs, but in the back of our mind we sometime wonder if it is because of our race.
Asian Biker Friday, June 21, 2002 at 14:00:11 (PDT)

I like WF personality, but asian girls look better.
kile Friday, June 21, 2002 at 12:37:08 (PDT)

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