Asian Male/White Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 61%
Their physique | 22%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 11%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 74%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 15%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 73%
Their physique | 6%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 6%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 73%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 17%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Asian male and White female makes the cutest couples!
Gary Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 18:40:47 (PDT)

Just asking,

I am not sure about Southern White Girl, but I don't see this forum as boring at all. Alot of very insightful points have been brought about by many people. I think we are learning alot form each other.
curious girl (the original one) Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 09:50:57 (PDT)

Blonde Songbird,

Its really good to hear that you don't let peoples negativity stand in your way. Thats really great to hear!
curious girl (the original one) Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 09:46:47 (PDT)

I am a WF from the beautiful south *GA* and I began dating Asian men about six months ago. After a failed relationship with a possessive Chinese man, I began a friendship with a wonderful Korean. We have been dating for almost 3 months and he treats me like a princess, something I was not used to with WMs I had previously dated. I say race is only a barrier if you make it one in your heart. I happen to find Asian men *Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Viet, etc* to be very attractive *^-^*
Solara Babe Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 22:42:31 (PDT)

Happy 4th of July Guys

Have a Great Weekend

SOG Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 22:23:36 (PDT)

To Just asking,

Yeah, for as long I've been here, I remember there were a lot of prolific WF posters here. I love them all. To name a few off the top of my head :

- Girlie Love (A tease. Fun when she's not nasty. I wish she would give more details about her conquests of AM ;-)
- Outsider Girl : Wanting to meet AM, learning about Asian culture.
- Curious WF : ditto.
- Michelle : dating Corean, speaks Corean
- Bay Area Brunette (a.k.a. BABrunette) : gut wrenching, spellbound story. It's a classic girl-wants-boy-but-cannot-get-boy-because-boy-cannot-make-up-his-mind.
- BrunetteGirl : very supportive and playful. I enjoyed hearing analysis of AM/WF relationships with examples taken from her own relationship.
White Girl Given Up : a classic tale of girl-meets-boy-likes-boy-but-is-ignored-by-spineless-boy.
Pixie : ditto :)
Happy Clam : happily married to AM :)
Southern White Girl : happily married to AM. Met boy in China. Very analytical at times. Spunky.
Curious girl : very supportive and, well, curious. I like to hear her real stories. :)

Everyone has a story to tell and whether it is about boy-meets-girl, or girl-wants-boy-but-cannot-get-boy-because-boy-cannot-make-up-his-mind, or girl-travels-to-Asia-and-falls-in-love-with-boy, boy-and-girl-encounter-family-problem, or boy-and-girl-face-prejudices, or boy-marries-girl, or deep analysis on relationships, every story is fascinating and often insightful. It is also fascinating and perhaps comforting to hear how similar the stories are! I hope this forum remains a safe and fun place for people to come out and contribute.

Nostrad-AM-us Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 17:02:26 (PDT)

To the AM and WF living in the South: how have your experiences been in AM/WF dating in the South? I'm asking because on browsing through female profiles on Match.com, many of the more attractive Southern WFs include Asian men as the preferred ethnicity of men they wish to date. I've only been to the South on 2 occasions, and meeting interested, attractive WFs seemed to be a lot easier than in the Northeast. It seems to defy the stereotype of racial intolerance, but true. Memories of the most exciting WF lover I've ever known- a Southern belle from Tennessee. And the exquisite new secretary from Alabama seems to make an extra effort to make eye contact and talk to me. Any thoughts/experiences?
Hoboken_CornellGuy Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 13:46:23 (PDT)

"The kinds of IR relationships highlighted in the media are those of guys like Bryant Gumbel (cheated on 1st wife of African descent with a blonde) and Tiger Woods, both of which are examples of minorities chasing WFs for status."

Woods does not need to chase a WF for status...he already has status. May be it is the other way around?
Golfer Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 12:36:34 (PDT)

"Pixie I agee. There should be more recognition given. Sadly enough, the media doesn't always pay much attention to it."

....and if it does, it is not very positive...everyone pays attention to Senators Gramm and McConnell who are married to AF, while no one pays attention to Rep. David Wu of Oregon who is married to an attractive white woman.
Sociologist Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 12:33:26 (PDT)

Is it myself, or is the atmosphere in Boston not very conducive to AM/WF relationships?

Should I hold on for the long run, or will I be better off heading to California or even Canada?

Goldeneye Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 12:04:16 (PDT)

Pixie,

Where I'm originally (Ottawa) from there are a lot of AM/WF marriages. Same with the city I recently moved to(Toronto). Anyone who thinks AM/WF relationships aren't common either lives in a segragated city or has to get out more often. Everywhere I go I see AM/WF couples all the time.

Toronto is still a little segragated...that i'll admit. However within the last 5 years things have changed quite a bit for the better. The other day we celebrated Canada day here and a bunch of us went to a really popular club. The thing that really caught my attention was the number of Whites and Asians interacting together. Everywhere I turned there was an IR couple. Apparently that sort of thing happens all over now. No doubt due to the high number of IR relationships and marriages between Whites and Asians in this city. Unfortunately what I didn't find was the number of Blacks at the party. I talked to my cousin about this and he told me that Blacks still tend to stick to their own in TO.

Proud 2 b Azn Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 11:39:25 (PDT)

Observer - Personally I don't find Latin types exotic. To me they come across as a little insincere - a little too smooth to be believable. Too bad that AM's don't realize how much so many WF's admire them.

"Outside input other than parents, family, and (real) friends may have to be largely discarded or you will go crazy. Mainstream media and society are pretty worthless in my opinion."

I agree 100% - great points you make.

pixie Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 10:22:12 (PDT)

SOG - Good for you. Glad to hear you stood your ground and know what you want.
pixie Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 10:17:30 (PDT)

SOG--

I've also seen the statistic that over half of AAM under 35 are married to WF. So, that 20% of AM in general is even more significant if you look at which way the trend is heading.
JJP Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 10:17:04 (PDT)

Peter Pang - No, my AM is now with an AF.

If I ever get over this relationship, and feel that I could ever trust again, I would hope to be with an AM over a WM. It would take someone really special though.
pixie Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 10:15:20 (PDT)

Chris (Poet/Warrior) - Yes, I totally agree with you (even though the post you are responding to wasn't written by me). I wish that the media would wake up to the real world and recognize AM/WF relationships.

I have seen 'The Lover' - WOW, loved it! very passionate, but not 'Women of the Night'. I plan on checking that out.
pixie Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 10:12:08 (PDT)

Single Asian Guy Looking - Wish I could take credit for that post.

I'm a Virgo.
pixie Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 10:07:52 (PDT)

Psychologue - I am truly sorry to hear of your situation. If it's any consolation to you, I don't think you should carry the guilt with you forever - I mean, aren't things meant to happen for a reason in life? (Easier said than believed sometimes I know).

Your comments regarding the way your girl was with you, as opposed to WM, were very interesting and I'm sure there are several WF who can relate to that area. For whatever reason, and I can only speak for myself, I have found that AM bring out the better side of my nature - maybe it's because some of you guys have a certain gentle and calm manner about you. This is no ways implies weakness, more of an unspoken intelligence and depth if that makes sense.

Let me ask you this, I guess you were afraid of the depth of your feelings for her. Does that mean you would not date another white girl for fear of the same thing happening? Have you dated any white girls since, and would you ever consider getting back together with your old flame? I bet she still loves you. I don't know that I'll ever get over my ex.

pixie Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 10:06:10 (PDT)

to Psychologue:

Sounds like you're telling all this to the wrong people, mate.
GDS KA Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 09:34:18 (PDT)

To: Curious Girl

Your message reminds me to offer what I think is the *MOST* helpful tip to the WF who is in a serious relationship with an AM, or is considering such a relationship.

Quite a few AM's, myself included, are concerned about the following when dating a WF seriously:

1. Can she really commit to the relationship long-term? Can she go the distance?

2. Will she work with problems in the relationship when they come up, as they invariably do? Or will we become another divorce statistic?

3. Can she at least meet my family half way and make a sincere attempt to get to know them?

Perhaps it's unfair, but some of us do have this internal bias that maybe tradition-minded AF's can be better at the the above three points than modern WF's. If we can find WF's who are contrary to that bias and think like you (Curious Girl) do, we'd be happy campers, believe me.

Thus, the best thing a WF can do in a serious relationship with an AM is to let him know, in no uncertain terms, about the depth of her commitment, her willingness to work through problems and not just give up, and her sincere acceptance of his family. Don't assume he already knows, or should know, these things about you. Make it a point to say it upfront. The AM would really, really appreciate it.

The wrong thing to say would be outright assertions such as you prefer your space and your independence. An AM already knows that about WF's, and chances are he will treat you with respect and consideration regardless, so such assertions are not very useful, and can potential drive the AM away.

All the AM guys I know would be ready to reciprocate with even greater closeness, loyalty and devotion -- if the WF's can go out on a limb a little bit and give them some sort of reassurance.

To: Just asking

Don't depend on anyone else to make your life more interesting. Women move away from boring guys toward guys who can generate their own fun. 'Nuff said.

To: Chris

Interesting story! My perception is that in Southern California, there doesn't seem to be a big dating disparity (in terms of gender). When I go to Old Town Pasadena, I see about as many AM/WF couples as WM/AF. Ditto when I walk up and down Third Street Promenade. In my opinion, AM's who love WF's should move to the West Los Angeles area posthaste. Does anyone else have similar observations?

To: Wutang

I'm sorry, you're wrong. The different spelling has nothing to do with Mandarin vs. Cantonese. Get your facts straight:

Wade-Giles romanization (devised by British scholars who didn't know Chinese all that well): Tao, Taoism, Lao-tzu, Wutang.

Pinyin romanization (the standard for the future): Dao, Daoism, Laozi, Wudang.

It is a common misconception that Laozi founded Daoism 2,500 years ago. In reality, he was merely the one who wrote the definitive summary of Daoist beliefs that already existed during his time. The history of Daoism actually goes much further back, at least another 2,000 years before Laozi.

You can piece this information together yourself by looking up encyclopedia entries on Huang-ti. Daoism is actually much older than Hinduism, but does not press its claim (as Hinduism does) of being the oldest religion known to man.

AsiAm Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 09:18:40 (PDT)

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