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ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Nostrad-Am-us!!
I am honored to be remembered!!
I don't post a whole lot because so much is centered around dating issues , and it has been seven years since I have been in that groove. I feel I am " out of the loop" lol!!
I am glad to see more married WFs ( with children too) all across the board - and find I can really relate to them. I like to chime in on some of the issues faced by other interracial couples, especially regarding childraising.
I guess my story is girl-meets-boy- marries-boy- wants-boy-to-take-girl-out-to-dinner.
See? Just doesn't have a lot of excitement does it? lol...
You are a sweetie~
Happy Clam wschien1@mchsi.com
Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 13:48:33 (PDT)
TO PIXIE,no way! Well guess what? I'm also a virgo. What's your Chinese sign, do you know? I'm an ox and all that goes with it I guess. Anyway let's try to get that ex out of your mind. You know full well it doesn't do a body good to dwell on negative stuff. It is definitely his loss and all of our gain. I've been down that path of hurt myself and you're correct,it is no walk in the park. But I predict that you will be fine and will meet a very nice,attractive, sensitive and caring Asian guy real soon. It seems that he could be from the west coast possibly Cali. Looks like he's about 5'9/172/fit and not bad looking at all. Things are getting foggy now, will check back with more details.
SINGLE ASIAN GUY LOOKING
Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 12:56:17 (PDT)
Are there any other WFs on here in a stable relationship with an AM? If so. Do you find him looking at AFs? Does that bother you at all?
I try not to let it really bother me. But it is hard sometimes. I was thinking about leaving my husband, because it bothers me so much. I get so tired of it. He told me that he only like WFs. I have caught him on more than one occasion looking at pictures of models that were AFs.
Even when we are watching a movie together, he comments on how pretty the AFs are sometimes. He doesn't do it all the time, just sometimes.
If any of you are in a similar situation. What would you do about it? I told him that it bothers me, and he said that I am exaggerating and imagining things because I am pregnant. I think it is more to it than that. I don't even know if he thinks I am attractive anymore. Sometimes he compliments me, but its like hes just trying to make me feel better. Its like he doesn't really mean it. How can I tell if he is still attracted to me? Can someone help?
Samantha
Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 02:25:50 (PDT)
HobokenCornellGuy:
You're checking this board now. See, you spent too much time in Wall Street and not enough time seeing this country.
I went to high school in the South. I understand the Southern bubbas and Southern belles. I know where they're coming from.
The Deep South (SC, GA, AL, especially) is a charming, conservative region, and culturally closest to conservative Asian culture than any other region in the U.S.
Someone once said something like, "a well-born, well-bred, blonde, blue-eyed Southern girl is God's most beautiful creation ..." Will not disagree ...
Idiot-savant
Friday, July 05, 2002 at 23:31:10 (PDT)
Anyone watch Mad About You? Did you see in a couple episodes the cute AM/WF couple? It was a cute AM doctor and a pretty WF nurse. They were so cute. It left alot to the imagination. They need to show things like that more often.
pixie
Friday, July 05, 2002 at 23:24:02 (PDT)
First of all it is pretty damn annoying that someone else is using my name. But whatever.
AsiAm- Thanks for your post, that helps a lot. I think it's important for WFs to understand that most AMs do take relationships very seriously. I think that I have followed all three of your points in my relationship. When we started dating, my b/f and I agreed very strongly that cheating was very wrong and was not to be tolerated. And over the 3 yrs, we have had our troubles, but neither of us has given up, we work through the tough times and try to talk things out. As for his family, I really do love them and respect them, they are really good people. I do make an attempt to get to know them, and adapt to their culture at home, by eating their food (which I love) trying to learn some Cantonese, being open to customs that I'm not used to, asking his brother to explain the August Moon festival to me. Hope to hear more from you. :)
Chris- I saw "The Lover" many years ago, one of the most erotic films I've ever seen, just incredible.
Goldeneye- I also live in Boston. I see a lot of AF/WM couples but hardly any AM/WF couples. But that doesn't mean you have to move to be happy. Sometimes I wish I lived somewhere that there were more AM/WF couples, like Toronto, but our families are here.
Nostrad-AM-us- I'm glad someone likes to listen to my stories. :) I love to talk about my boyfriend, and I'm more than happy to share my real stories with anyone in the hopes of fostering communication between AMs and WFs.
Also, this July 4th, I really thought hard about what it means to be an American, and how hurtful it is for Asian Americans to not be considered "true" Americans by some. Asian Americans are just as American as I am.
Love to all.
curious girl
Friday, July 05, 2002 at 20:51:41 (PDT)
About the southern girls... I'm an AM living in Texas and I've noticed that the WFs that are the so called "country" girls tend to be more friendly to me than the "city" types. I don't get a chance to meet too many, but when I do it's great.
suthernAM
Friday, July 05, 2002 at 20:10:46 (PDT)
To Chris (Poet/Warrior):
Your story about the former Miss Arkansas doesn't apply to "mortals"; although it is nice to see that she picked an AM, maybe for exotic flair? When the mega-wealthy or mega-beautiful (or what society perceives as beauty) are involved, all bets are off as to what choices they make in terms of relationships. 99.9999% of the time their bonds are based solely on looks or money. These kinds of people are so f'ed up its unbelievable. Its seems to me whenever you live at an extreme (i.e.,the poorest people and the richest people) you will be a psychologist's wet dream. I think very, very few of these high-society types have the kind of marriage that can remain stable in spite of serious illness or accident. I admit that I need to feel an initial physical attraction to a female, but if she is the one for me and I commit to her and marry her, then I will stand by her in spite of virtually anything: severe disfiguring burns, wheelchairs, the plague, you name it. It all sounds gay, I know, but I wish there were more women (from all backgrounds) of strong character willing to make this kind of commitment as well, if I lost all my money, health, etc. I would not be abandoned. Oh well, that's life.
Observer
Friday, July 05, 2002 at 19:51:40 (PDT)
Why do everyone thinks that the movie The Lover was such a great movie about AM and WF's being in love. There was no love in that movie! The WF was poor white trash who had a silly mother who used her daughter as a prostitute to date a rich Asian so they could have a lot of money to live on. The WF's mother and her brother hated Asians and made it clear. Even the WF in the movie made it clear that she thought she was better than the AM. I didn't see one lovemaking scene in that movie. They just f***ked each other. Is that what everybody's here searching for? Someone to just screw or someone to fall in love with?
Romance
Friday, July 05, 2002 at 17:23:18 (PDT)
- Michelle : dating Corean, speaks Corean
she must be very smart!.Corean is very diffcult to learn !!
Albatros
Friday, July 05, 2002 at 14:29:06 (PDT)
Pixie,
I wouldn't say I was afraid of the depth of my feelings per se; rather, I was tormented by the thought that HER feelings wouldn't run as deep as mine, as her actions seemed to indicate to me. The ironic twist is that it turned out that they might have gone even further than my own; she just didn't show it to me in a way that I could understand. I always got the impression she treated our relationship rather casually, that she could take me or leave me, but this turned out to be far from the case. I could go into more detail, but I don't think the others in this forum would appreciate my dissecting before them the anatomy of a failed AM/WF relationship, although I happen to think the lessons learned could be of some use here.
To answer your question, no, I didn't avoid WFs afterwards; then again, I didn't pursue them, either, I didn't pursue any women for a while. I have been with several WFs as well as a few AFs since then. There are obstacles to both types of relationships, as well as advantages. In many respects, AMs and WFs bring out the best in each other, and I think they make the most romantic and loving pairing, precisely because of all the obstacles they must overcome.
Psychologue
Friday, July 05, 2002 at 11:08:28 (PDT)
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