Asian Male/White Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 61%
Their physique | 22%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 11%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 74%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 15%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 73%
Their physique | 6%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 6%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 73%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 17%

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Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Hello I am a WF,and I was wondering if somebody would tell me why most AM do not even give a second glance to a more curvy WF. I am married to a WM now but I have always found AM most desirable, though they would never even look at me. It seems most are looking for The "blond barbie doll". I have many AF friends and they seem very nice and I love the culture as well, I only wish more AM would give the rest of us a chance.
Misty Mistymeza@prodigy.net Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:31:37 (PDT)

Asian Brother,

Nice story. I went to Yale, too, around the time you were there. It's possible we know each other--were you in Branford, by any chance? Send me an e-mail, if you want.
Blue, formerly Psychologue (AM) bienfoutu2002@yahoo.com Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 08:12:06 (PDT)

Asian guys and white girls were meant to be together. They bring out mutual respect and love, they bring out the best in each other. They also produce beautiful, intelligent, lively, and sensitive children. At the risk of overgeneralizing and sounding like a mad fetichist, I want to say I love everything about white girls. I love their hair--blondes, brunettes, and red-heads--I love their large eyes, their skin, even their knees and the hollow behind their knees, their feet and toes, the timbre of their voices, their rangy limbs, and the pink aureoles of their breasts, I love their smell. I love their generosity, their consideration, their openness, their absence of the baggage and of the resentments of racism and bigotry and their empathy and compassion for those who have suffered those scars. I love their curiosity (I even love the names 'curious girl' and 'curious wf'), their modesty, their desires. I love that they know how to appreciate the excellences of Asian men, our quiet strength and intelligence, our sense of purpose and our devotion and selflessness--not only to appreciate but to bring them out of us, just as I think we bring out the best in them. Asian guys and white girls are an endless source of fascination and attraction and passion to each other. It takes a good white girl to bring out all that is buried and good in an Asian guy.
Blue, formerly Psychologue (AM) Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 08:09:23 (PDT)

I will not date an asian man. They are after the goods, thats all. My ex cheated and used me. My ex after that did the same. They are all bad men. I am so mad at all of them. I blame all asian men. Every last one of them are responsible.
every last on of them yea I'm a (WF) and? Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 07:18:17 (PDT)

Auburn haired Lady, 21

No wonder!!! You are a model
Bostonian Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 05:49:58 (PDT)

Auburn haired Lady, 21

Read what you wrote! It seems to me that you judge people before you even get to know them, especially to AM. You get annoyed when an AM staring, would you feel the same way when a WM staring at you too? You wrote:" so far i haven't found anything but superficiality and shallowness. If you are going for someone's looks, you're never going to last". I think you should speak for yourself.
Bostonian Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 05:46:35 (PDT)

To Auburn haired Lady, Welcome to the site! It's always nice to have newcomer females and I think for the most part mostly everyone here is friendly enough. I'm certain that if you stay a little while you'll find that most of us Asian guys here are interested in more than just looks and figures. Of course modeling won't be held against you either. To top it off you might get a little insight into that sister of yours and what she sees in us. I'm sure your Mom raised good daughters. So why not grab a drink and join us.
The Water's Fine Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 00:36:52 (PDT)

I do feel sorry for Samantha as well as anyone who somehow feels inferior, especially to some unrealistic standard. I have dated guys who were neurotic about looks to the point they were absolutely no joy to be around. If someone makes you feel bad about the way God made you, then you deserve better than that! I refuse to date or marry someone who is too focused on looks because we all get old and looks fade. I dated an AM man who was obsessed with my 36D chest and would put down my smaller chested friends for being "ugly". That made him so instantly unattractive to me. Luckily, my new AM babe really cares more about the heart located under the bra size. Point is, if someone really loves you, they will not want to intentionally hurt you. Talk to him. Tell him that his actions make you feel bad, no matter how silly that may seem. How would he feel if you were doing to him what he is doing to you?
Chixie (WF) Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 23:02:24 (PDT)

Auburn haired lady 21,

By the way, I don't think many guys think of somebody else while they're having sex with their gf's. I've never heard anything like that from any of my friends, and I've never done that.
ck Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 21:45:07 (PDT)

Auburn haired Lady, 21

You are contradicting yourself; I don't want to accuse you of "looking at the surface" (for one thing, your post name simply describes your appearance and not who you are) and judging on that, but you are implying the immediate conclusion that AM only go for WF for their looks. Some people post on here to describe what they like about WF in the area of physical or personal characteristics. Being an AM, I find open minded WF attractive because they are willing to learn a new culture or have a new experience, and they aren't afraid of what others will think of her dating an AM. Most shallow minded women would just stick to their prejudgements.

By the sounds of it, you probably had previous bad experiences of men going for your looks. Indeed there are these people, but don't have a negative view of all of them. Just because you get looks from men doesn't mean they are all jerks. What do you expect? For example, do you expect people to be looking at a 8'1 guy walking around?

There's a lot more good in this world than bad.
Tianamen (Gate of heavenly peace) Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 20:23:40 (PDT)

auburn haired lady, 21

sorry to hear that your beauty attracts attention from the guys... especially if it pisses you off and annoys you that these guys are asian. remind me not to look your way when you're coming down the street. but here's looking at you beautiful :)
good luck.
sucks to be beautiful Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 20:23:19 (PDT)

Asian Brother:

Wow, you are standing on jackpot. I would definitely smooth into a romantic relationship with her. She seems so committed to be with you as seen through the hard work of going to Yale, the years gone past while still being interested in you. You don't even deserve her, she is the type of girl that not only would I admire for her actions (because I would never do that for a girl that I like) but very rare. How many women would do all that just to be with someone? Very very few indeed. You are really going to break her heart if you reject her. Also, forget about what your little sister thinks, you have to go with your heart on this one. This is your life, not one controlled/influenced by your sister or others. You have to do what your heart feels.
Asian brother you are lucky! Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 19:44:46 (PDT)

Good news! I finally got together with my guy (after a *LONG* heart to heart). He told me he had never been out with a WF before. He was close once, but things didn't work out between them. (Thank God!) It took me weeks to do anything. The downside is that I might be sent back to the US in the fall or winter. :(

The Lover was sooo offensive. I'm sure the guy could've done much better than romping around with some 15 year old girl. He was really hot.

Chris--
My friend is still laughing at your response from the other forum. I wish someone would help her out with her guy, too.
Brunette Girl, Too! Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 19:18:54 (PDT)

I savant
I had to disagree man, I find hooking up in NYC to be easy. Really! I've been coming up to NYC from Philly for over 10 years on the weekends to party and I always manage to hook up. Not only with WF but with Latinas, Europeans too.
In Philly its a more conservativetown, more hometown attitude while NYC is so much international and liberal. Philly is getting better though and much less expensive. Cool Corean bar just opened up few months ago. But its not like the traditional Corean bars.

Auburn haired Lady:
Someone like you will never appreciate or understand Asian men, you already come here with prejudice. You have already judged all Asian men over few posts?? What if I judged all American WFs as shallow, uncultured bimbos? Alot of people around the world think so you know. We, Asian Americans, come in all different cultures and looks you know, we are not monolithic as you think.
After reading few of your posts you sound really scorned. If you're not attracted to Asian men, its your perogative why ask 'why are AM attracted to WF looks?"
Why is anyone attracted to anyone's looks? Ever asked why White guys all drool over AFs, we know there are enough of those couples, right?
You can always click on the upper right hand corner. Have agood life
Ciao baby

Karbi Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 18:48:11 (PDT)

"My sister is dating an AM, there fore i went on this post to see what is so good about AM's."

Ms. Auburn hair Lady, there is nothing special about AMs. We're probably not to your taste, so you should stick with WMs and save everyone alot of time.
some guy Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 17:33:01 (PDT)

Are there any cute snobby preppy Abercrombie Fitch White females who come to this BB???? if you are one of them.. e-mail me.

Phil
AM who loves WF

Phil caliphil007@aol.com Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 14:12:56 (PDT)

Auburn haired Lady, 21,

If you're trying to find out why WF like AM then you're probably in the wrong place. Sure these ladies can tell you about why they are attracted to them but the mere fact that AM don't do it for you probably isn't going to help you understand no matter how many posts these ladies write. If your favorite soda is coke and your trying to find out why some women like pepsi...do you think reading about it is going to help? It's a taste that they developed through experiences in their lives and from the people that they've met. Bottom line...you CAN'T RELATE to these women.

As for your comment on going for someone's looks being superficial. What are ya?!? Practicing to be a nun?!? Like it or not I'm sure that the overwhelmingly vast majority of relationships start off with some level of physical attraction. So is everyone in the world being superficial as well? When you see someone for the first time your not going to say..."Wow! Check out the personality on that one!" All these encounters shape your overall physical preference. What attracted you to your bf? Unless your totally void of emotion or desire then I guess it would be possible to not be attracted to anyone physically.
Proud 2 b Azn Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 14:12:42 (PDT)

Hello Everyone,
Has anyone on this forum ever met others from here (friendly or otherwise)? There are some great posts on this forum; it'd be interesting to put names with faces. How would people feel about posting photos of themselves? I'll start with my own:

http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/james193a/lst?.dir=/My+Recent+Photos&.src=ph&.view=
Take Care!

Hoboken_CornellGuy Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 12:28:29 (PDT)

Auburn Haired Lady 21,

You have to admit that it wasn't exactly nice of you to come on to a forum devoted to AM/WF relationships and put us down, now was it? How many Asian men have you really met, talked to, been friends with, worked with? I would suspect not that many. Yes some are superficial and shallow, but so are a lot of white men, black men, etc. Open your mind. No one's asking you to be physically attracted to Asian men, but don't put them down just because you don't know them well enough to realize what good people they are.

Here's a question for the Asian men-
How can you tell if a guy is thinking about/ready for marriage? If he is really and truly serious?
curious girl (WF) Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 11:13:50 (PDT)

Question: Why are asian men fixated on wf's looks?
Answer: In my case, I never had an attraction for Asian women. It seems so boring and ordinary for me, AM/AF and WM/WF couples. While I do enjoy the physical differences that white (and Indian) women have in contrast to my looks, it IS still only a part of why a man and a woman should be attracted to each other.

Hoboken_CornellGuy Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 11:03:01 (PDT)

Some other observations....

You (Auburn Haired Lady,21) said:

"(trust me i know this for a fact, my pictures are ten times better than the real thing, not to put myself down or anything) "

Is this indicative of a TYPICAL model type? Insecure, overanalyzing, ANNOYING? Good God...
Being a model means nothing to me. I have seen, done, and dispensed with many of your type. I am a successful, attractive individual, and I used to circulate in the LA party scene not too long ago. Intelligence, groundedness, and self-assuredness are more importance, qualities that you obviously lack.

And finally:

"But guys don't realize that, they are stuck in some illusional land. and they love to look at pictures (married or not).. its just easy on the eyes. guys are horny and always will be. ugh"

Look, it's obvious that you've been hurt by men before. Or at least, you havent been hurt yet but men treat you like meat (coz you're a model), and you're defensive. Hey, maybe you even got played by an ASIAN guy! Just kidding. You just need to relax, girl.
Black haired Korean Dude Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 10:38:38 (PDT)

"Auburn haired Lady, 21

I have never been attracted to an AM in my life before...My sister is dating an AM, there fore i went on this post to see what is so good about AM's...If you are going for someone's looks, you're never going to last...why are asian men fixated on wf's looks"

Why don't you ask your sister about it? Or are you not close enough to your sister to ask about it? Why the curiosity?
Happyguy Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 10:26:14 (PDT)

Auburn haired lady, 21

Hey lady, I'm not gonna just assume that you're a troll. Honestly, w/o trying to sound petty, I don't care that you don't like AM. Just one less WF out of the roughly 120 million WFs in this country. Oh well. Besides, it's not like I would give just ANY WF a chance with me. Remember -- I am the prize, not you. Remember that. I am 22 yo, black haired, and good looking.
Black haired Korean Dude Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 10:24:19 (PDT)

Hi Auburn haired Lady, 21

I believe that you could get the most honest answers from your sister who is dating an Asian man. You should definately ask her.

My guess on why your sister is dating an Asian man... Well, everyone has some expectations/qualities from his/her mate. When your sister found these qualities in a man, he happens to be an Asian man. I also think that she has an open mind about people; otherwise, she would not have found him.

I can only hope that their relationship blossom...

horseshoe (am) Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 10:03:21 (PDT)

Asian Brother,

I read the most amazing story on this website that a person named, 'Asian Brother' posted earlier. I sure hope this letter reaches you - and reaches you well. The story was about a young girl who has a crush on this AM guy, who just happens to share his thoughts with us, because there's a conflict of emotions within him. I thought about this story after reading it, and felt absolutely compulsed into writing to him.
My God, what's holding you back Man? Some artificial emotions? fear? As one person to another, I think something that has waited this long to emerge, and shows itself beautiful in story, and substance shouldn't waisted - please do something!

If this lady means anything to you, than you'd better do something for her sake, if not your own.

Almost like a beautiful fairy-tale story, with hopefully a beautiful ending.
Listen, being afraid of what your younger sister thinks of you is a short-term consideration, that will come and go, a long-term relationship has rewards that far outweigh the emotional fears.

Let me read that story again, ...hmmm
yep, too much fear, too much time has elapsed. You know something, your sister already knows. What's more, she might even help you.

I think if you get the chance, and work up the nerve, 1. Apologize, explain feelings 2. Ask for a meeting - do what comes to mind 3. Determine if feelings still exist. 4. How do you feel inside? 5. Take it from there on.

If Mr. 'Asian Brother' ever reads this message, I'd love to hear the 'happy ending to this story', plz. email me,

jasonalanwong@yahoo.co.uk

AM jasonalanwong@yahoo.co.uk Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 09:30:47 (PDT)

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