Asian Male/White Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 61%
Their physique | 22%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 11%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 74%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 15%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 73%
Their physique | 6%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 6%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 73%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 17%

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Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

NNNNnnooooooo Misty, you are so wrong. My friends and I love WFs with curves. Not to sound superficial but sure curves have always been in, the more the merrier.
Loves Curves Friday, July 12, 2002 at 07:31:35 (PDT)

most asian men here don't have much interests to white women.

sure, many asian men think white women are very attractive but think they (white women) don't have interets in asian men.
i don't know how white women think of asian men generally. i meant the trend here in korea.

i heard this trend is the same in other asian countries.

this following writing was written by one white woman who married to a korean man. i found this writing on the english news paper site.
it is very rare to find white women who married to korean men at least here in south korea.

I buy the paper and exchange pleasantries with the paper seller. This is part of our daily routine and he seems to like the fact that someone actually Á¨seesÁø him and asks him how he is and how his wife is going. I patiently wait until a subway carriage is fairly empty before getting on. The first stage of the trip is spent reading, after transferring I wait on the platform until there is a chance I will get a seat. Years of taking this same route has made me an expert at where to place myself on the platform, and which trains to get on so I avoid the horrendous crush of peak hours. Today I make the mistake of sitting next to a guy with a noxious blend of soju, garlic and meat fumes oozing out of his exhausted pores. I weigh up the benefits of fresher air vs. having to stand for the next 40 minutes. This process seems to be a daily one as there is rarely a place to stand unassailed by that familiar smell. I know I have been the perpetrator more than once and shudder remembering those horrid hangovers. There is no air circulating in the carriage – we are between seasons and it is too warm for a heater and apparently too cool for any type of ventilation. I cover my nose with my scarf and hope the man doesnÁøt breathe too heavily in my direction. Meanwhile we have a type of war over leg space as we pretend to sleep, and I wonder again if the reason men sit with their legs spread far apart is testicular orientated.
Reaching my stop, I drop into the newly opened espresso coffee bar on my way to the office. I marvel at the amount of espresso bars that have recently opened around Seoul and am frighteningly relieved that I no longer have to drink what they supply in the office. I am the first one at the office and settle in for the day ahead, trying not to look out the window at the seasonal yellow sand and pollution – it is too early to get depressed and I donÁøt wish to start the day like that. I am the only foreigner in this company, in this building and I suspect, in this street. My workmates arrive in waves and we greet each other politely or warmly in different forms reflecting different positions. I am employed to input data, proofread and develop programs related to our field, but in all probability it has more to do with our company image. This leaves me plenty of time to check my emails and maintain friendships, collect data and research materials from the Internet and keep up with messages on the community boards. I never post information, I just read and laugh. Sometimes I read and weep. Sometimes I just read and shake my head. Lunch is spent with workmates, we eat Korean usually and speak either Korean (which I manage to mangle really well) and English (which is also pretty mangled at times) and we to get through the confusion. Today I just preferred to listen to makeup stories and tales of fashion mishaps, children and families. ThereÁøs not much I can really meaningfully contribute to and I enjoy the stillness of my own jaw and try to remember what I once spoke about with my own friends and colleagues all those years ago.
The day passes quickly and soon enough it is time to go home. As my work is finished I get up and leave the others to their games on their computers while they wait for the directors to leave. I donÁøt apologize for disappearing at 6pm. I follow the crowds back to the subway and make my way to the quieter section of the platform, following the routine IÁøve used for years. The ringing of hand phones is more prominent than with the morning trip and I have to wait to get a seat so I take out my book. Today I am surprised when a couple of older women discuss how nice I look, it is a far cry from the usual discussions about how small my head is or the size of my chest and butt. I am taller than most of the women standing on the carriage and bang my head on the dangling handles more than once. A drunk guy approaches me and asks me some questions about English and I have to tell him in Korean Á¡IÁøm sorry, IÁøm not an English teacherÁ±. He looks grumpy, but then moves on without any more conversation. When I transfer, IÁøm forced to get the crushed carriage and somehow keep my balance as we are all propelled sideways by the driver with the trigger-happy brakes. Phones are blaring, gaggles of girls are giggling, older guys are trying to give me Á¡the eyeÁ± which I avoid. Colours are predominantly shades of brown and black. A couple of women share opinions about Á¡foreignersÁ±, somehow missing the reality that there are a multitude of cultures out there to be compared to their own. It is funny in a twisted kind of way and I hope that they do discover this during their own lifetime.
I walk the beaten path to my place of abode and am greeted by my husband. HeÁøs come home early to cook me dinner and it is almost ready as I walk through the door. IÁøm relieved to be home and we chat about our day and our plans for the weekend, next month, and our future. We have dinner, go and exercise and then watch TV or play Go-Stop before bed. On bad days we argue about things that neither of us can change in our respective families, cultures, in the world and in our neighborhood. Today is a good day, so we are focused on being in love and having a healthy relationship. We are flying together under the radar of stereotypes and we are surely not alone on this flight, we are just two in a normally silent minority and for once I wished to share it with those frustrated souls out thereÁÏ.>

korean man. Friday, July 12, 2002 at 02:47:15 (PDT)

Auburn Haired Lady 21,

From what and where do you draw your conclusion that the attraction of one to another (Asian male to White female or vice-versa), is based solely on looks? If you're looking on the Polls, you should realize it's to reflect the real difference between any person from another, looks. Other than that, any person can have any number of traits indicative to any 'people'. But if you look at the words in the forums, the refelct many things besides looks.

Why would anyone ask why anyone likes any particular thing? It's like saying, "Why don't White females detest Asian males? "- instead? If one were just interested, one should just find out, Auburn Haired Lady 21. Go hang out with some Asian guys. Just talk. Elsewise, don't begin to talk about things you don't like. I'm sure if everyone did that, these forums would be filled with useless flotsam and jetsam. What experience do you have? Just make a web page about things you don't like. See if you draw more interest than a site like this one.
Empyrean20 (AM) Empyrean20@aol.com Friday, July 12, 2002 at 01:26:14 (PDT)

curious girl,

Nice to see someone stick up for Asian guys (for a change) other than asian guys. And it's great to see someone fight for what he/she likes. You Rock!

Empyrean20 (AM) Empyrean20@aol.com Friday, July 12, 2002 at 01:17:53 (PDT)

To: every last on of them yea I'm a (WF) and?

All I can say is, sorry you feel that way. Too bad that a few low-lives have too ruined your experience on any type of person. Even if you may not ever date an asian man again, one would hope you would forgive the entire race for what a few leeches did to you. Personally, I always feel helpless when someone who may 'represent' me gives people like me a bad name. I hope you can see that. You wouldn't want to think that a few bad white females represent you? That's my 2 cents.
Empyrean20 (AM) Empyrean20@aol.com Friday, July 12, 2002 at 00:54:51 (PDT)

Hey Auburn haired lady,

What are your stats (height, weight)? If I like what I read, maybe I'll give you a chance. J/k. I'm quite tall (you'd be surprised), and fit, I have a masculine face, and I'm smart as a biaznitch. Pretty funny too.

an Arrogant (but worthy) Oriental Sonofabitch Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 23:57:26 (PDT)

Misty,

I mean, there's pleasantly plump (5'4" at 125, or 5'7" at 140, to give you an idea), but what do YOU consider "curvy"? I hope it isn't something like 5'4" @ 150, coz that is definately overweight. Sorry babe, but thats the way I see it. I find WFs attractive, but I generally prefer slender women. I'm talking 5'5" @ 115 to 5'8" @ 125, give or take a few pounds. I mean, it's not like I'd NEVER date women who don't match that weight or height range, but it's a factor, definately.
Fit Asian male, 5'8.5", 165lb. Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 23:54:33 (PDT)

Auburn Hair Lady
YOU sound the most fixated on looks of anyone on this board! Maybe they stare at you because you have a sullen sneer on your face as you look distastefully at them ,wondering what the great appeal is?
Are you HOPING men orgasm while thinking of you and your airbrushed picture? It sounds like you are throwing out mock indignation in an attempt to score some pathetic roundabout compliments.
Maybe the first order of business for you should be to put away that idiotic Cosmo magazine ! Good God, no wonder you babble such nonsense!
You are really peculiar.

Pooh Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 21:24:53 (PDT)

"I will not date an asian man. They are after the goods, thats all. My ex cheated and used me. My ex after that did the same. They are all bad men. I am so mad at all of them. I blame all asian men."

I'm sorry, but I'm having trouble taking this seriously, especially since the person posting it surely knew that she was talking to a room full of AMs as well as CFs. It sounds like a bid for attention...a cry for help, perhaps?
Chris (Poet/Warrior) fearless1976@yahoo.com Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 19:22:21 (PDT)

Misty,

One explanation for why many Asian men are only interested in skinny Barbie Dolls is because many Asian men are primarily attracted to Asian women, who all tend to have the skinny figures (minus the D cup, of course). The further a girl departs from the standard skinny Asian physique, the further stretch of imagination it takes for an AM to see himself with her. On top of that, a lot of Asian guys (myself included) are pretty skinny themselves; they're probably just looking for someone who would be a good match physically.

Say, does your husband know that you find AM more desirable?!?
Chris (Poet/Warrior) fearless1976@yahoo.com Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 19:19:40 (PDT)

"Every last one of them yea...":

Here 's a .38 pistol. Now go around the corner and take your iron supplement, put yourself out of your misery. You're obviously a troll, or some maladjusted woman.
Whatever yo. Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 19:06:54 (PDT)

Karbi

Can you recommend places in NYC where I can hook up with WFs? I love white girls. They turn me on.

HotAsianMan (HAM) Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 17:41:04 (PDT)

"every last on of them yea.."

I don't know what your nickname is. My sympathy for your tragedies. But since when did your ex-husband become the official representative of all asian males on this planet?? I'm sure there are several other males in general who do the same thing. Just because one person does something tragic, it doesn't mean everyone else of his similar race will do the same. I honestly hope that this similar event does not happen again to you, otherwise you will run out of other races to blame.
proud Indonesian guy Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 16:12:45 (PDT)

every last one of them yea I'm a (WF) and?:

Forget about Asian men. Think about where, in general, you are looking for men and what men you what and how to identify the "bad men". I'm sure the same thing would happen whether the man is white or hispanic or whatever. Look for the right men in the right places.
Tiananmen Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 15:44:32 (PDT)

To Auburn haired Lady, 21

I want to say that we (including myself) WELCOME YOU TO CHAT with us. It's nice having a newcomer with new view on how they see things. We can all learn from you. And eventually we'll all be a little wise after reading all of what you have to say, along with everyone elses.

Thanks Auburn haired Lady, 21
Thanks auburn haired lady, 21 AM Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 14:52:08 (PDT)

Misty:

Sure you married the right person? Having second thoughts already?!!!
Hmm... Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 14:36:00 (PDT)

Hoboken:

I think it'd be fun to meet some of the posters in person.

The only reason I would hesitate to do so, is that, I have been on some politically-charged boards and possibly pissed off some people. It'd be a horror to go out expecting to meet Ms. Hot-And-Horny and then be shot by Mean- Chinese-Dude.

Well, I might try to turn over a new leaf by changing my handle ...

Commentary, formerly Idiot-savant Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 14:25:40 (PDT)

To my AZ bros.
Very good and intelligent answer to Auburn haired girl.
KOOL Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:27:28 (PDT)

To "Every Last one fo them WF" , not all men that are Asian are "after the goods" as you said. I think you are very hurt and bitter, and maybe have chosen the wrong persons. There are people of every race that can be bastards. Please don't generalize it as only Asian men. I am sorry your so hurt and angry. My husband is a great guy, and Asian.

Hannybunbun Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:20:09 (PDT)

TO: every last on of them yea i'm

Hey I am sorry that the guyz you have dated are like that to you. I guess you just haven't met the right guyz yet. But it will happen for you. By the way what goods, do you mean, j/w. I mean not only AM are like that all kinds of guyz can be like that and some of them from other race are worst. It is also a matter of who you run into. I can defintly change your mind about AM. Just write to me and we'll talk.

Look here derek24_7@yahoo.com Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:15:12 (PDT)

every last one of them yea I'm a (WF) and?,

I'm sorry the AMs that you've had relationships with had less then honorable motives. To say that we're all "bad men" is pushing way it to far. From the AMs that I've known we were brought up with high morals and ethics. We were disciplined and brought up in strict traditional Asian ways that emphasized certain values(education, family...etc.)

Take a step back and for a minute think objectively. The few AMs that you've dated or had bad experiences with can't possibly be representative of the BILLIONS of us on this planet. Lastly, although AM are brought up differently then other ethnicities nobody said that being with an AM is going to guarantee that you're going to be happy. There's always going to the bad with the good. If you can't accept that then your going to get hurt by ANY group of men and not just AMs.
Proud 2 b Azn (AM) Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:11:25 (PDT)

TO: AUBURN HAIRED LADY, 21.

WoW, I guess you must be really beautiful that all the men are staring at you, including the AM. And you must also think of youself as [better than everyone else(AM mostly)] to be annoy by a man [AM]looking at you. I really don't know, I mean most lady would appreciate attention. I guess for you it is different.

SOMETHING TO CONSIDER: Maybe you might be checking some guyz (your attractive too) out and they probably not find you attractive and maybe they too find you annoying look at them. Same goes with AM stare at you right. lol (trust me that happens to you too). I mean you might think your better looking and everything but there will always be someone there that will think otherwise.

And yes it is defintly true [one person mention] that you should ask your sister why she is dating an AM. I mean she is your sister and you shouldn't have any problem asking her right? And about your question, "why are asian men fixated on wf's looks>?" WE'll ask yourself, "Do you think physical attraction is important? [NOTE: And not all AM think that looks is important, something that goes for any race.]

And I think you care about looks yourself. If not then why is it the reason your getting attention from Men. I mean if you were a normal lady, dress and look casual than I guess you might not get as much attention from men. right?
Lastly why are you here on this poll anyway. Aren't you wasting your valuable time just typing up your opinion. And why do you care if other WF are attracted to AM. Is not your business unless you are interest in us too, don't you think? YES and finally remind me not to Stare(at you)in your direction if I ever see you b/c I defintly wounldn't want to ANNOY YOU. I never like to annoy girls.
For Auburn haired; Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:07:00 (PDT)

Auburn Haired Lady, 21

You sister should be an invaluable source of information for you. She should be able to answer your questions and help you understand her attraction to her AM bf. To tell you the truth, though, I don't think that you are going to find anything different from any other relationship. I'm sure that there is some type of physical attraction along with a personal connection as well. When we are talking about IR relationships it real is as easy as two people's attraction for one another. There is no hidden secret behind it.

From your posts it sounds like you are against your sisters relationship with an AM and that you are against the entire idea as a whole. If indeed you are a model, then I'm sure that you turn heads even when you "dress down". But to say that it is annoying when AM's stare at you then I believe you have specifically singled them out. You happen to notice them looking at you and because you don't find them attractive they stand out more. It's fine if you don't find AM's attractive, that's a personal opinion. But don't criticize them for something that I'm sure many men do (stare).
Mile High Asian Guy Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:05:31 (PDT)

curious girl (WF),

Just to add to my last post. If he's not receptive right away...give it some time. Some Asian guys are conservative when it comes to dating and are not likely to be the ones that will pack up and hop over to Vegas for a $19.99 wedding with Elvis. From the AMs that I've met...we take it slow to make sure it's the one we want.
Proud 2 b Azn (AM) Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:43:32 (PDT)

curious girl (WF),

From what I've done and observed in my AM friends. The ones that are thinking about or ready to get married will give off subtles signs that they want to settle down and have a family. I once brought out my baby cousin with an ex I was serious with. It was just to see how she would react to it. Or even when going to the mall we'd check out the jewellery stores and spend more time in the engagement ring sections. Just subtle stupid things like that.

Proud 2 b Azn (AM) Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:37:57 (PDT)

I actually just stumbled onto this site by accident but now find it to be quite interesting. I never imagined there would be a forum dedicated to AM/WF relationships.

Some of these posts are quite informative and just wish I had stumbled into here earlier. I really could've used some of the advice you people have suggested.

As for me, I'm quite the shy guy when it comes to women in general, but especially WF. I don't know why but I just am and regret it. I'm 6'1" 195 lbs, and have been playing both football and rugby all througout my HS career. I get along with everyone and am repected for that. I stand up for the small guys who get picked on alot, especially small asian guys in my school because I once was the stereotypical small asian kid. I really don't have to do much except just walk up and talk to both sides. I assume my size is a factor in diffusing these situations but I've never intentionally intimidated anyone with my size.

But for the life of me, I can't bring myself to ask out WFs. I get alot of AF asking me out and I don't mind that but I really would like to try something different. I get looks from the WF all the time but I never know if they are interested in me or if it's just a casual stare. Well, the kicker is that after graduating high school I find out through various conversations with these WFs that they really liked me. They would have dated me if I made a move. You see, they were just as shy as I was! There was a mutual attraction, but because of the shyness nothing was acomplished.

Well, I'm moving onto University now studying Engineering. I learned a tough lesson from High School and I'm promising myself that I'll speak my mind more often, especially when it comes to women. I suspect that this problem is not unique to me and many other AMs go through this. If you are, I strongly suggest you make your feelings clear to whoever you wish to date be it a WF or otherwise. But I think especially for WF, AM should make the first move because WF are as scared as you are. By not doing anything or waiting for them to make the first move, you give them the impression that you are not interested and thus nothing will ever happen beyond a platonic friendship. Anyways, just my 2 cents.

Flanker Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:35:01 (PDT)

Misty,

I don't think that Asian guys only pay attention to blondes. It is true that Blondes draw alot of attention every where they go..but think of all of them are like Miss Auburn haired Lady, 21 here. They don't have what we are all looking for. Asian didn't ignore you at all ( my Ex was curvy. She is very beautifull). I think you just didn't give them enough time yet. Every WF I have known they do give a lot of patience to AM. When I go to bar I look at every girl and I will only make a converstion with the one that is friendly and open minded. Those are the ones to keep. So i don't think it is not too late to get to know AM now. Be friendly. Give them a smile and start a conversation...you see. AM are not all like WM who would kick dirt in your face if they don't like you. I know that because I have a bunch of WM friends who are just like them. I sometime get upset just seeing them do that to the ladies.
Anyway, try it. Have an affair but don't get divorced and blame everything on me because of this. Have fun!

Hoboken_CornellGuy has a good idea. I have always want to know what Curious Girl looks like, so here is mine.
Bostonian http://profiles.yahoo.com/shawny_74 Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:22:09 (PDT)

"I will not date an asian man. They are after the goods, thats all. My ex cheated and used me. My ex after that did the same. They are all bad men. I am so mad at all of them. I blame all asian men. Every last one of them are responsible."

If a white man did this to you would you say the same thing about all white men?

Sociologist Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:14:42 (PDT)

Hey all,

I agree with Chixie, of course looks are what initially attracts people to each other but it can't be the most important thing. Everyone gets old and loses their looks, but true love does not care.

Every last one of them,

Sorry that those guys treated you like crap. If I were in your place maybe I'd feel just as angry and bitter. But there really are a lot of great Asian men out there.

Brunette Girl, Too

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you. I hope it works out. :)

Hoboken_Cornell Guy,

Looked at your site, you're pretty cute. Good luck with the ladies. :) It would be nice to chat with all of you outside of this site, instead of having to wait 24 hrs to read responses, and to have privacy. If any of you post your emails I'll shoot you an email, I love to chat.
curious girl (WF) Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:14:26 (PDT)

AUBURN HAIRED LADY, 21

First of all, why are you here? This is an asian website for crying out loud. It almost sounds like you got burned by an asian guy before and that we're here to take it out on us AM. You said, "I have caught a lot of AM's staring at me however, which i find is annoying." Ha, you should be lucky that anybody's looking at you. YOu a model? Most of them are skinny and frail anyway. YOur sister is dating an AM to stick it to ya! Again, why are you here? According to you, you're on enemy's territory.
lordt78 (great centrifugal force) Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 10:56:44 (PDT)

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