Asian Male/White Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 61%
Their physique | 22%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 11%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 74%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 15%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 73%
Their physique | 6%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 6%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 73%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 17%

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Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Pooh Supreme,

The reason you might not smell might be because you don't sweat too much. The foul odor your referring is a byproduct of all that lovely bacteria breaking down organic substances in your sweat. Bacteria needs moisture in order to thrive. That's why feet and armpits are the worse areas. Eventually, given the right circumstances anyone can smell. Trust me, asians can smell...if I don't take a shower right away after a 45 min run my family begins to complain.
Proud 2 b Azn (AM) Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:38:10 (PDT)

Curious wf,

I see your point. I certainly didn't mean to say that I'd categorically rule out a relationship with a WF who has previously dated AMs; I'd just have to be convinced that she's attracted to the individual and not the racial type, that's all.

For example, when a girl says she loves my straight black hair and my smooth skin, I'm not all that flattered, because these are features I basically share with over a billion other people on this planet. Asians generally don't consider their hair and skin to be "features" at all. On the other hand, if a girl says she loves "Asian eyes", I'd be a bit skeptical, because Asians generally DO consider their eyes to be special and unique--there are attractive Asian eyes and not so attractive Asian eyes and a great deal of variance to them; I would want a girl to be attracted to MY eyes, not to what she thinks of as "Asian eyes." Everyone wants to be loved as an individual, not as a member of a group.
Asian Brother Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:34:08 (PDT)

hey clambake

from one hottie to another you are a cutie. don't sweat the ignorance.

as long as your man still digs your way who cares?

hey morons that comment on other people being hefty, fat, whatever - post your picture along with your criticism. let's see if you can take your own medicine.

http://www.geocities.com/ojanimal/me1.jpg
iconic ojanimal@yahoo.com Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:21:33 (PDT)

"I'm glad to hear that Asian men take marriage VERY seriously"

applause. another blanket statement about asian men.

listen - asian men take marriage about as seriously as other men. some men regard marriage sacred; others get married and divorced on a whim. me, i think marriage is somewhat of an archaic institution - like i need a piece of paper to validate my love and commitment to someone else. check out the divorce rates in china and taiwan - skyrocketing. yeah, asian men take marriage seriously. problem is we take divorce seriously too.

marriage is hard work. i think a lot of people are in love with the idea of marriage, but, in and of itself, marriage has no instrinsic value save for, as i mentioned before, a piece of paper issued by the state.

now i'm rambling. back to the topic - please refrain from making these blanket statements about asian men. it seems like everyone wants to pigeonhole us into these little buckets.

i'm an asian man. i'm very good at math, at making money, at being successful, etc. but i'm also very athletic, can be obnoxious, don't plan on getting married anytime soon (oddly, i do take the idea of marriage very seriously, so have no plans for marriage in my 20s), have been the jerk in relationships in the past (but i'm older now), would prefer to be dressed down than dressed up, am aggressive, etc.

i've been accused of being the most white-washed asian dude, ever, but hey, that's just me. my point is that no two guys are alike and just because a guy is asian doesn't mean that he's long duc dong or whoever that dude was in 16 candles.

www.geocities.com/ojanimal/me1.jpg

iconic ojanimal@yahoo.com Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 06:59:09 (PDT)

Happy Clam, 5'6 and 115 is THIN! Compared to you I'm "hefty"! ;)Don't listen to any of these jerks trying to tell you anything different. Good lord, what would they prefer you weigh, 95 lbs??

Soju,

Thanks!!! that's the nicest compliment ever! Sometimes when I make these generalizations about Asian culture or guess from what I've learned so far, I feel like I"m stabbing in the dark. I'm so glad to know that I actually _have_ been learning a lot about Asian culture and am beginning to understand more about Asian people, society, morals, etc. So to those that would say "Non-Asian women can never understand an Asian man the way another Asian woman could" I say "You're wrong!"

Iconic,

Welcome. Nice pictures! What do your tattoos say? My b/f has a tattoo of the Chinese symbol for Courage. It's very sexy. :)

Asian men, what WF actresses/singers/stars do you find attractive?
curious girl Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 06:44:59 (PDT)

Happy Clam,
Since you had trouble accessing pictures from the asian avenue site, I put up a family and friend album on webshots too.Thanks for the idea for it.

http://community.webshots.com/user/hannybunbun
Most are of our baby boy, my husband, family, friends and a few of my art.
hannybunbun Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 06:22:41 (PDT)

Happy Clam,

I really like your pictures alot. You have a beautiful family! And your little boy is soooo cute! Hes such a cutie pie! He takes after both you and your husband. I think you two make a wonderful couple. You look really good together!

S.T.post,

That was rude. Happy Clam is not fat and she looks wonderful. She has a great family and I think you just want to make trouble. You're a total jerk.
Megan Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 04:28:19 (PDT)

I hope I am doing this right. :) I just wanted to add that what I like most about my boyfriend, who became a Korean American in his late teens, is his faithfulness, dedication... for example he treats me like I'm the only woman that exists. In addition, I think he is funny sometimes and we can tell each other anything and everything- we are best friends. What I dislike about him is that he smokes and is very insecure/controlling/jealous, even though he is extremely good-looking (better than 99.99% of men- and I have dated many men from all over the us and world) perfect bod, strong jaw, sweet not too small, not too big eyes eyes, nice hair, very well-off, etc... He is the last man on earth that should be insecure and act out his insecurity by tryign to control or be mean, etc... I think I may be too confident for him and I attract too much atention for his comfort leveles. Anyway, I don't feel like we are different at all... I don't really see him as a race- just as neh almond noon.. kim sang yong :) I will go to korea with him this fall. One last thing, Im lucky to have no racial hangups.. due mainly to the fact that as a Christian I believe we are all descended from one man and one woman.. that we are truely brother sisters-- may sound gay :) but i think its true.

crystal Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 02:26:34 (PDT)

I'm a 24 wf... an american, however lived many places... seriously dating a 1st generational korean american
Crystal Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 02:04:20 (PDT)

Why reply to Auburn Haired Girl's posts regardless if she is an ugly troll or zero personality model?

The fact that she refers to us asian men as "intriguing creatures" is an absolute indication of ignorance on his/her part. I notice that generally WFs think it is acceptable to subject asian males into categories because of less than positive experiences, but what I find contemptable is this "I'm sorry but I can persuade you" attitude AMs adopt.

Conceited pretty women are worthless on the whole, regardless of ethnicity.
CBC in Montreal Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 01:12:34 (PDT)

Goldilocks:

I go to a lot of afterhours clubs in LA myself...matter of fact, I was at Teknoclub this past Saturday for Atlantis. Ever been there? It's pretty good. You're right, people are totally friendly and supportive of AM/WF relationships at raves...but on the other hand, chances are they're all on E, right? EVERYBODY is friendly when they're rolling. Can I just ask...did you meet your boyfriend at a rave? Or elsewhere? I have to say, raves are a great place to make friends...

Auburn Haired Lady, 21:

In response to your "but where else would i get a fair representation but online places like this.." Well, I'd have to say that online forums are probably the WORST place to actually get to know somebody--everyone's hiding behind a screen name, everyone's constantly trying to prove how clever they are...it really does bring out the obnoxious and/or defensive side in people (as you may have seen). But surely you know at least one Asian male in person? If you were in college, you'd probably be meeting a ton. Have you ever been to a rave? 'Goldilocks' is right...they're heavily populated by Asians (at least in LA)...and I guarantee you that we'd be the friendliest, most decent people at the party.

I have to point out one more thing; if you're a model, then you're probably pretty attractive. In my opinion, the attractive girls tend to always draw the jerks to them for one reason or another. Your sister might have this problem as well: cocky, arrogant SOBs tend to go for the attractive girls because they're so hopped up on their own self-confidence. The less obnoxious, less boastful guys probably won't pursue you as hard, and since as a model you probably have your 'model defenses' fine-tuned to ward off the flocks of men on your doorstep, those are the ones who will probably vanish first. The only guys who are left, whom you might really get to know, are the ones with the biggest attitude problems; they're also the ones most likely to hurt you in a relationship.

Oh, and as for you being a model: yes, of course you're just like everybody else--a normal human being. Though correct me if I'm wrong, but even though you always encourage people to think of you as a typical person, people rarely do. Am I right? It's because men are so enamoured with the model mystique, and women feel threatened and immediately start grabbing their boyfriends' arms. People will naturally just behave differently around you. Gee, it's tough being beautiful, isn't it? :)

I've known a couple of models in my life, and a couple of guys who have dated them, and I've learned a thing or two. (Listen up, guys, this is important!) There's no secret to dating models. MODELS JUST WANT GUYS WHO WILL TREAT THEM DECENTLY, LIKE HUMAN BEINGS. Am I right? Just treat her with respect, and don't dwell on her looks; after all, she spends an entire workday being told how beautiful she is. The last thing she wants to hear when she comes home is the same tired compliments, because she wants to believe that the man who loves her does so not because of what's on the outside, but what's on the inside. If I'm wrong about this, let me know--but it certainly worked for me when *I* was dating a model. (But then again, I treat everyone decently--model or not.)

Anyway, I'm assuming you live in LA or NY? You should have no trouble meeting normal AMs. Just don't interact with the ones that approach you in bars--just like the WMs who work the bar scene, they're just interested in you for your looks. And they're not going to help change your mind about AMs being superficial.
Chris (Poet/Warrior) fearless1976@yahoo.com Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 00:36:24 (PDT)

Look Matters in Friendship?,

I guess it would matter if you were incredibly vain. To answer your question, yes I have friends that I'm not physically attracted to. That's only because I don't see them in that way. However they are beautiful people on the inside and to me that's all that counts. I just don't get what physical attractiveness has to do with friendship.

"But perhaps for politcal correctness reason and potential embarassment, they refuse to admit that."

If that is the case then how can ANYONE say their friends with the other person. People like that need to get out of that childish highschool mentality. Friendships shouldn't be taken lightly. People who do take it with a grain of salt aren't the type of people you want to be friends with. I'm a struggling entrepreneur...I don't have a ton of time and definately not a lot of money. However, I've done everything from being there for them when they needed me to sharing my last 5 bucks with them because they needed it.
Proud 2 b Azn (AM) Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 00:24:58 (PDT)

OK, Chris says LA is pretty hospitable for am/wf couples, but Goldilocks says it isn't.

I'm confused. Should I like LA or be mad at it?
JJP

I can't really say dude. I'm a SoCal transplant myself, and I think that the main barriers to meeting WFs in this city is the generally segregated nature of the place (races are slighlty apprehensive about each other... but don't let this comment get blown out of proportion), and the general snobbiness and 'stuck-up-ness' of women in big cities. That's all. I think that overall California women are friendlier then women from say, the Northeast. But maybe that's because during the school year I go to a stuffy east coast private college.
SoCal do the bone. Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 00:13:34 (PDT)

Soju,

Thanks...ya'll beta recognize! haha

Iconic,

Yo, here's a brotha that knows that full-figured women got much love to offer too. You gotta love all types of women.--- Races, shapes, and sizes.
Ok, I'll stop talking like I'm from the streets now.
Empyrean20 Empyrean20@aol.com Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 22:26:08 (PDT)

Hannybunbun,

Are you married? Anyway I'm chinese and I don't know if what you heard is a myth or reality. Most of what you said never occure to me. But the part about saving face sounds a little familiar [To my understanding; In a typical asain family we do care about reputation. Ex; If we open up a business and it fails. We lose face with our friends and family. Another thing is that (historically) if a girl was to have many partner (slut) she lose face in society if other find out, it's not like that anymore thou]. I think a lot of it is just rumor and myth and not at all, reality. Because my parents, father and mother is not at all like that. They are both 100% equal in everything. Such as rules of the house, bill, and work etc. Both of them work, so when I was very young my grandparent usually took care of us [my brother and sister]. My father was never a dominator [off course he represent the man of the house, symbolically] of the household, like I said before they are equal and equally sharing each others views. My grandparents generation is pretty similair to my parents. Accept due to my grandmother's personality, my grandfather is the one mostly taking care of business such as grocery shopping, taking care of the bill, knowing what is going on in the world, etc. My aunt and uncle on the other hand was quite different. And again due to my aunt's personality, she usually takes care of stuff in the house, making wise decision regarding bills. She is the type of person that you could say has, leadership.
DoubleD (AM) Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 21:52:38 (PDT)

"I've had a lot of friends that have gone through that very situation. So I can understand when you generalize AMs as being the same. From some of the women that I've known I've met a lot of women that are a glutton for punishment. After some deep conversations. Some have told me that they're still fixated on an old relationship that didn't go right and in some twisted way keep going for guys that have similar attributes to that one guy in order to feel happy."--Proud 2 b Azn (AM).

Nice observation! Well, those women don�t necessary ASK for punishment! People are always looking for something. Some people look for what they really want. Some people look for what they think they want. If you are not happy with the life that you are having right now, most likely it�s because that you are looking for the things that you think you want but not what you really want. Confusing? You bet! Well, what do you think, it�s human behavior which is often irrational but also interesting. Really have to go to bed now, will share some more with you folks tomorrow. You guys have been great. Until then, live with passion!
Loving Tenor Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 20:38:01 (PDT)

"I see each female as an individual and will give them the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. Stay open minded and remember that everyone is different no matter that race."--Mile High Asian Guy.

Exactly.

Sorry for being a cheapo, I am kind of tired...
Loving Tenor Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 20:27:00 (PDT)

Cornell hoboken,

My asian brother, I won't drag this on for long. I would call your look the banker-geek look. You definately aren't a stud or dashingly handsome (start lifting weights, you look slightly squat), but you have a positive attitude. I'm sure that goes a long way, for sure.

I have a pretty good looking face and a ripped body (girls are always hitting on me) and I am also an Ivy Leaguer and have a good personality, but I am on the short side. Still, I think that my outgoing/positive attitude helps me overcome this. I am 5'8" / 165 pounds. Plus, from the looks of it, it looks like you make mad bank. Good for you, my Asian brother. Fight on!
Big Red Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 19:46:04 (PDT)

Nathan L aka Lurker:
Thank you :) He is the greatest little boy and just started to walk a few days ago! So exciting..yet SO busy!
Hannybunbun Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 17:23:08 (PDT)

AM - Golden skin, dark eyes, blue-black hair - I'm in a bad way here, and I don't understand why some of you guys can't see the effect you have on some WF's.

My white g/friend is always trying to fix me up with WM's - she's kinda prejudiced and would probably freak out if I dated an AM. I don't care what she thinks though, she's missing out and it's her problem.

Azn guys are top on my list.
sobanoodle Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 17:02:19 (PDT)

Hannybunbun and Curious Girl,
First of all, my thanks to Hannybunbun for sharing photos of her and her family. You have a really nice-looking family and you're quite a hot lady! *smile* And thanks to Curious Girl for her compliments on my posts. I think it's great AM and WF have this forum to express different ideas and thoughts about our love lives. Very helpful! I don't think AM have different timeframes as to how seriously we consider our girlfriends; I've seen engagements in 3 months, and one memorable one after 7 years! ("Harry Met Sally" situation, though) But I have seen that AM take marriage and their partners more seriously and respectfully than WM, so if the prospect of the Ring seems near, be prepared that it'll really be for life! Hannybunbun makes some great points about our loathing of divorce, how most Asian women will stick it out through an unhappy marriage for the sake of the family. I guess every situation has to be evaluated individually, but all my aunts, sisters, and Asian female friends seem happy in their marriages. And my own parents have been together happily for 42 years; as AMs, I think our beliefs in serious relationships are one of our most appealing strengths.......
Hoboken_CornellGuy Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 14:46:30 (PDT)

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