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POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Wow how the posts accumulate when one doesn't get on everyday!! It has been interesting reading through them, but as so much is about dating , and dinosaurs roamed the earth when I last dated - I will withhold commenting on those lol.
I have enjoyed seeing everyone's pictures and am tickled so many have started sharing. It is unfortunate to read negative comments about what I find to be a grouping of truly exceptional looking guys, but I guess they are as willing as I am to risk that criticism in order to be good sports and make themselves more " real". Hats off to you gentleman!!
Hannybunbun I LOVED your family pictures! I tried to email you something and think it got totally botched up. If you received a very weird email or perhaps about 500 from my address...I am not entirely nuts yet, I assure you. Just ask Napolean, he will vouch for me!
Sog, you have a lovely looking girlfriend!! Very beautiful! And the other gentleman who posted his girlfriends pictures - also, what a splendid looking grouping!!
I am intrigued at the talk about German girls and European girls, as my mom is from Bad Kreuznach Germany, and I have always felt I was not raised in a very " average white middle class" enviornment.I have always wondered how much a part that may have played in my ending up in a bi-racial relationship.
This leads me to the question by Curious girl about what friends have said regarding my attraction to an AM. Well initially everyone was stunned not by my husband himself, but just by the fact that I was with anyone at all! I had fallen into a real loner groove, and the longer it went on, the longer my list of " qualifications for dating material" ( I know that sounds awful!!) grew, until by and large there was no way any one man could possibly fit the criteria! As you may be guessing, clinging to this" list" was a way of staying out of the game! I was just chicken of the whole dating scene by then, unless it was a group thing. I don't know if dating is closer to falling off a bike or a horse - but certainly you have to get right back in there again after a bad fall, or you start finding yourself sitting it all out on the sidewalk. That was my experience.
At any rate, friends knew straight off the bat that my husband had to be pretty special just to make me cast aside all my notions of what I want and replace them with " him". The answer to " what do you want, need, adore...?" simply was " Him!!".
Most of the comments of an ignorant nature I got from co-workers, as opposed to friends. They assumed he knew martial arts and so on. One even said " Don't those Asian boys always have such nice fannies? Like little apples..." I had to verify we weren't talking about dog breeding, it was such an alien thing to have a person say to me!
I don't know what talk goes on behind my back of course. To my face, though, it has been very supportive and kind comments, centering on my husband as an individual and not as just an AM. I do sometimes think if I were to open the door, conversationally, with certain friends, and let them think I had misgivings or annoyances, that they could let loose with many negative remarks. Of course, these are not my close friends. But yes...I suspect there are those who show me one face and show others another.
And for Samantha - don't worry at this point about the weight! I know you are at the stage where you want to return to some normalcy, but it will happen soon enough, I assure you! In the interim, try to derive as much pleasure from just exactly where you are and what you are experiencing with your pregnancy as possible. You will look back wistfully on all this, that is true! I lost most of the weight, but my body is NOT the same lol!! My hips are wider, my feet got flattened into a bigger size,and the boobs? ... never the same! lol. But is that what is more important than the baby? No way!!
I did happen to sense that I was having a boy! We never even debated much with female names, I was so certain of this. I do hope you enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy and soon will have this lovely little person to cherish!
Happy Clam wschien1@mchsi.com
Monday, July 29, 2002 at 11:51:32 (PDT)
Christian Guy,
I saw your pictures and I think you look fine. It you are going to get back into shape, then do it for yourself and no one else. You are a nice guy, and nice guys always get the girl:)
a wf
Monday, July 29, 2002 at 09:44:07 (PDT)
[DoubleD, we keep omitting some of your posts because they are long while adding little to the discussion. Stop reposting them. Relevance and writing quality are the keys here. --Ed]
Thanks to everyone (well, MOST everyone) for the advice. I appreciate it. I'm going to attempt to talk to the "gym guy" tonight and see what happens. I realize that men are sometimes shy about meeting women, but he talks to everyone else there, and all of the women he talks to are thin WFs, much like myself. So I still don't get why he won't talk to me specifically, but maybe tonight I'll find out...
To the person who called me "anorexic," it is obvious you are trolling for a repsonse from me. First of all, you haven't seen me. I'm only 5'3" and have a petite bone structure. How big am I supposed to be for Pete's sake? Plus, I never said I "lifted weights" every day. What you said was really uncalled for.
size 2 wf
Monday, July 29, 2002 at 06:23:38 (PDT)
To curious girl,
In a former posting you said for those of us who wanted a picture of you and your fiance' to please give an email address. Hannybunbun@asianavenue.com. I would love to see your picture :) It is fun to hear all of the things people have to say, know their thoughts and some of their feelings on subjects, and then get to see the pictures of those personalities.
I have gotten responses in email from some posters that have turned into a year long email friendship , and one lady who we share alot of things in common with and whom is also married to an Asian man, we plan a trip to visit each other, since we live relatively close.
To SOG, your girlfriend is very pretty. You must be crazy about her, you talk about her alot! Does she know how much you love her? I know I hardly get a sentence out without my husband being mentioned...I guess you can tell when someone "has it bad" for another person!
hannybunbun
Monday, July 29, 2002 at 05:37:06 (PDT)
SOG,
DUDE!
Am I confused, or were you the one who said that you were a virgin?
If so, then OH MY LORD talk about an itch.
Chris (Poet/Warrior) fearless1976@yahoo.com
Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 23:37:45 (PDT)
6 foot korean devil:
your response to hoknel cornell guy was highly insulting to me. To regard women of europe and former soviet union as high class "escorts". You might have screwed a couple of whores with STD's aight. but the rest of us asian guys have the ability to attract the best and brightest white girls from all over the world. Your need to insult fellow asian males is incrediably irritating to me. You say you are 6' foot. Do you think anyone cares??? Pathetic. That word describes you perfectly. Just because you are a loser, dont pin it on the true asain studs with gorgous white girls. BTW just because a person is from a poor country dosent mean they are any less than you. Your attidute disgusts me, haughty, proud arrgant stuck up SOB. Your lucky we live in a democratic country, in any other country you would suffer the pain of your imbecile attitude and discriminating remarks.
and i doubt you are handsome. lol, care to post a pic???. ok ya know what. LOSER get a life.
SOG
Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 21:17:11 (PDT)
sog,
hot diggity damn!!! what's the story buddy? how did you meet her? and does she have any sisters??
inquiring minds wanna know
Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 21:03:54 (PDT)
Lordt78,
Thanks for sharing that story with us. I think the younger generation of girls are a lot less prejudiced to dating AMs, but I think the dating environment has changed in that increasing numbers of WFs are seeing AMs as desirable to date and marry. I was golfing last weekend and enjoying an after-round lunch. The very attractive waitress (around my age) said hesitatingly and shyly to me "You look really nice." We talked for a bit and she made it very obvious that she was interested. I really admire her for being so nice and BRAVE; that put me in a great mood for the rest of the day! *smile*
Hoboken_CornellGuy
Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 20:38:19 (PDT)
6-ft Handsome Korean-American Devil,
I'd agree with your observations about models, European and American. I know some in the entertainment industry and have dated enough of them to see that most of them are worthless as human beings. As for short-timers you meet in bars and clubs.... well, that's to be expected in a loud and noisy place full of drunk people looking for fun (or $$). If that's the kind of fun you looked for, you'll find it easily enough, here or in Europe. And as AMs, it IS easier to meet gorgeous WFs. The European women I've met seem to view AMs as especially attractive; we enjoy a reputation as great lovers and boyfriends/husbands. The European-born AMs I saw were invariably with gorgeous WFs; most of the local Asian guys were nothing to write home about, looks or money-wise, but the average-looking guy/beautiful woman pairing is common there regardless of race. Especially for AMs! For many European women, looks are less important than sense of humor, or being established financially and emotionally. But I can say the same for American WFs I've met....
But I don't agree with your mindset that only American-born white women can like AA men in a sincere and genuine way. You went looking for "fun" girls and you found them. But it'd be silly to say those women are representative of all non-American white women. That's like WFs saying "All Asian-American guys are...." As minorities often stereotyped in negative fashions, I think we should be the last to want to do the same to others!
P.S. The younger blonde is Russian, the older blonde is 4th generation Italian-American, the brunette is Finnish. I don't really care where a woman comes from: chemistry is chemistry!
Hoboken_CornellGuy
Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 20:28:06 (PDT)
Soju,
My link should work, as others can access it.
Take Care!
Hoboken_CornellGuy http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/james193a/lst?.dir=/Friends&.src=ph&.order=&.view=t&.done=http%3a//photos.yahoo.com/
Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 19:41:46 (PDT)
AM (24) From Down Under,
No, I'm not rich but just comfortably upper-middle class; there's no Park Ave. duplex and yacht on the horizon for me! *smile* I think my story would be boring to most and just waste space, so I'll give you a condensed version. Son of an expatriate banker, lived and worked overseas for 26 years. Ivy League educated. Fought with Special Forces in the Gulf War and Somalia, decorated for heroism in battle. Entered investment banking in 1995, fast-tracked into managing director position. Currently working as a VP of Finance on Wall Street; being realistic, Wall St. VPs are a dime a dozen. So it's no big deal! *smile* Yes, $$ do help attract the ladies, especially if you're just out to get laid. But flashing $$ does attracts the gold-diggers...... for a short time; it covers character deficiencies for so long. I do have a healthy social life, and over the years I found what works for me. I wouldn't mind opinions on what other AMs have experienced (and the opinions of WFs as to the validity of my opinions):
1) Looks do count to a certain degree. As I said, most of us aren't movie-star handsome, so accentuate what you've got. Many AMs have skinny frames, so invest in a new lifestyle and outlook by working out; it's easy to build a good physique on a thin frame. Get a decent haircut (us AMs have really stubborn hair!) and buy some nice clothes (my weakness). You may be a great guy, but she'll never know unless she finds you.... interesting.
2) Personality and sense of humor count a lot! I'm short (a big drawback to dating American women, as many only look at men 5'10" and over), but easy to get along with. Everyone likes an open and friendly attitude. I'm not averse to poking fun at myself when the occasion calls for it; everyone has a unique sense of humor, but I found the hard part to be finding the WFs who you click with humorwise. I've been turned down by plainer women.... and been surprisingly smothered by gorgeous women. Maybe some discoveries about yourself just come through trial and error, but you'll find your own "look" in due time. Times are good for AM/WF relationships, so there are WFs out there who'll like the way you are, looks and personality-wise!
Hoboken_CornellGuy
Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 19:38:45 (PDT)
calpolyslo,
You said, "In all my past relationships with caucuasian women, race was never mentioned, there was no sign that either of us saw a difference between our ethnicities."
I think that's your answer right there. If right off the bat this girl keeps saying how she likes asians, then I would think your gut will tell you that this isn't right for you. Better luck next time. :)
Hoboken_Cornell Guy,
Thanks for your answer. I'm glad you like my questions, I never seem to run out of them! I'm just curious about people in general. I agree with you that it's just jealousy. If for example some WM were to say to me "Why are you dating an Asian guy? I as a White male can understand you so much better than he could. We wouldn't have all those cultural barriers"- I would seriously laugh in his face. White men do not automatically understand White women just as Asian women do not automatically understand Asian men, etc etc. My boyfriend and I have a deep understanding, I swear sometimes he can read my thoughts, and sometimes we say the same thing at the same time. He can tell what I'm feeling by the slightest change in my facial expression or tone of my voice. If that isn't understanding then what is? :)
curious girl
Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 18:24:11 (PDT)
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