Asian Male/White Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:28:58 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 61%
Their physique | 22%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 11%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 74%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 15%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 73%
Their physique | 6%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 6%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 73%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 17%

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Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Curious Girl,

I must say, I really enjoy your insightful questions. You seem to have a desire to know things from multiple perspectives. I admire that. I think I remembered that you said your boyfriend was asian. If he is, what is his background exactly?

I've never encountered racism from either my own, or my previous girlfriend's families. If anything I think I may have opened their eyes a bit because I don't fit any of the negative asian stereotypes often portrayed in the media. My previous girlfriends' families were always very interested in things from a different culture's perspective.

Have I ever felt torn between dating non-asian girls and then dating asian girls to appease my family? Never. I dated whomever I wanted regardless of race. My father doesn't care at all whom I date. My mother just wants me to have a girl who loves me and treats me well, and whom I love also. She says she doesn't care, but if she were asian it would just be icing on the cake. In the past my family has treated my white, latina, and arabic girlfriends with alot of kindness, warmth , and respect. There were even very sad when when we would break up. My current girlfriend is Korean-Russian, and she's really great.

I look forward to answering your thoughtful questions and may have some for you too.

Latez

Max
Max orgazmo83@hotmail.com Monday, August 19, 2002 at 13:12:40 (PDT)

Drooling WF,

Hi! Thanx for friendly reaction to my pic! I really appreciate it. Can you send me some pics of you, or post them?

In answer to your question. Yes, I'm very straight.

I've dated several wf's in the past along with other types of women. Right now, I have an awesome Korea-Russian girlfriend.

Thanks for the encouragement with acting. It would be very nice if I can just get that break-out role.

Latez

Max
Max orgazmo83@hotmail.com Monday, August 19, 2002 at 10:19:08 (PDT)

Lotus,

Thank you very much for the postive feedback on my pic! It's always appreciated when I get positive reactions.

As for your story regarding the "Food Stand Guy", I've experienced a similar story. My ex-gf who was white and I went out to eat at a chinese place and when they brought out out utensils, the waitress automatically gave her a fork and me chopsticks. When she asked our server for chopsticks, she was all suprised that she actually knew how to use them. Needless to say, my ex was a little irritated.

We never experienced anything negative from friends or family. I've dated several non-asians and their friends and families have always treated me with kindness and respect. There was a kind of interesting thing that occured once when I was visiting her in Michigan and we were driving to Chicago, we stopped at this little town out in the middle of nowhere off the highway and got some breakfast at a McDonalds. These farmboy types looked like they've never seen an asian before, especially an asain with an attractive white gf. However when we went to O'Hare airport in Chicago, the tables turned. My gf got the "evil eye" from a middle aged asain woman. We pretty much just laughed it off and not let it get to us.

Good luck in meeting your bf's parents

Latez

Max
Max orgazmo83@hotmail.com Monday, August 19, 2002 at 10:11:55 (PDT)

Cornell guy wrote:
"AFs just don't do it for me on a physical level"

How do you mean on a physical level? Is it the face, or body? I am curious, since I too don't find AFs physically attractive in general. For me it's more like maybe 1 out of 100 AFs (in the specific age range) might make the cut, where as maybe 25% of WFs would.
Deng Ai Monday, August 19, 2002 at 09:51:28 (PDT)

Samantha,

I have 4 more months to go! It feels like forever! LOL! Yes, I do get depressed alot at times. Sometimes I feel a little insecure about how my husband sees me. I used to be alot thinner until I started gaining from the baby. Sometimes I have caught him looking at pretty AF models on the internet, and on videotapes too. It didn't really bother me too much at first, because he has always been a very faithful husband. He always says little endearing things to reassure me that he still cares. But sometimes I need to know that hes still attracted to me, even though I have some weight gain. I have recently found some stores that have figure flattering maternity clothing. So I have been feeling a little less depressed lately, and getting out more. I definitely plan to do some traveling when the baby is born! Thankyou for being so encouraging!
Samantha (Pregnant1) Monday, August 19, 2002 at 09:38:08 (PDT)

Wf in Japan

Learning Japanese would open up the lines of communication for you and help you to deal with your loneliness much better. Although I found the language took me a great deal of time, as I mentioned before, I was so determined to succeed. It's a gradual process - we began learning basic sentences in order to communicate and gradually the Hiragana was introduced. A few weeks later, Katakana, then eventually Kanji. By the end of the first semester (17 weeks), I felt pretty confident with some of the basics. By the end of the year, the vocab. was pretty extensive. The only downside for me was learning this language in the US didn't always give me the opportunity to inter-act with other Japanese people on a daily basis and practice. I think you would learn quicker simply because you are in that environment and could use it every day.

The Japanese female friends I have were initially reserved but very polite. I think both sides were a little cautious at first, as with any sincere friendship - it takes time. Haven't had much luck with Japanese guys - they have been polite but just tend to stare instead of moving forward. I did experience some sour looks from a few older people. A friend of mine said that because I look American, it reminds them of what the US did to Japan during world war 2.
I did see some of the signs you were talking about which basically told us we were not welcome. I was lucky to have a Japanese friend showing me around.
Have you had a chance to visit many of the historic places? There is lots to see in Kyoto, and also Kamakura and Daibutsu is great to see. Have your lover take you there, it's so neat.
Good luck - I'm glad you are open to learning the language.
Samantha Monday, August 19, 2002 at 06:40:24 (PDT)

i am an asian!
:)
jianchxu Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 19:07:54 (PDT)

Hoboken_Cornell Guy, you are too sweet! It's nice to have you as my online friend. :) Though we had a fabulous time on vacation, it's good to be back home. I missed sitting around with my b/f watching TV and eating his Mom's noodles. Thanks to you and Azzuri for your responses. It's nice to know that parents just want their son/daughter to date someone that is a good person and that will treat them well. My sisters were so impressed with my b/f when they met him. They would joke around saying "Does he have a brother?" and I said "Yes, but he's married".

I've been thinking a lot lately about my boyfriend and how he grew up, trying to imagine what it was like to try to fit into mainstream American culture but at the same time retain his Asian-ness. He considers himself pretty "Americanized" (his word) but he doesn't seem to think of this as a bad thing. Do any of you AMs ever worry about becoming too Americanized and losing your Asian culture/heritage, or forgetting your language from lack of practice? Would anyone like to share their experiences of growing up AM in America? Also I'd be curious to know if you AMs were born here- if so, how long have your families been here? or if you were born abroad.

My b/f was born in Hong Kong and moved here when he was three.
curious girl Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 19:04:09 (PDT)

Samantha In Japan,
I am guessing from your questions that you haven't been in Japan for long. I lived in Japan for almost 4 years; don't worry about not making Japanese friends and being lonely, as many of the younger generation are eager to practice their English and meet gaijins. I encouraged 2 of my friends to teach English in Japan (they had never left the USA before) and they had a blast, spending several years there!
About clubs and bars posting signs forbidding non-Japanese, or allowing only "members". Those signs are mostly to keep out the US servicemen, especially those arriving on leave from the carrier groups stopping in port at Yokosuka. Unfortunately, many of them act like your stereotypical Ugly Americans; rude, abrasive, picking fights with Japanese and leering at the Japanese women like they were their own personal sex dolls. I wouldn't worry about you and your boyfriend being denied entrance anywhere, though he may be aware to avoid looking like a Yakuza chief with his white girlfriend (a status symbol of distinction in Japan). The great places definitely reject admittance if your b/f looks like a Yakuza guy from another clan!
If you're looking at touching base with other Westerners, stop in at the Tokyo American Club, located near the Roppongi district and the Tokyo TV Tower. The embassies will also have activities, events and interest clubs for the Western women, as there are many Western women living in Japan in your situation. Good luck!
Hoboken_CornellGuy Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 18:46:43 (PDT)

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