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ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:28:54 PM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Jon Jon,
I suggest you find her and TELL her straight-up how you feel once and for all. If she's married, then fine, at least you'll have told her. You don't want to live the rest of life with this strong feeling of regret eating away at you...do you?
If she's still available, then see what she says...I'd bet you'd be surprise by her reaction..
and if she does reject you, then that's OK too, cause you'll finally have that closure that you desperately need by the sounds of it.
Good luck, and let us know how it turns out!
Riceman
Monday, August 26, 2002 at 10:14:52 (PDT)
Jon Jon,
For what it's worth, I'd like to help your situation. So
here goes:
It sounds to me like you have a crush on this girl bordering
on obsession. But you hardly know her.
Question: Do you know how to get in touch with her? (ie.
mutual friends?) If not, that's step one.
She didn't want to attend your after party probably because
she doesn't know you that well and didn't want to give you
the wrong idea. And/or maybe she had already accepted an
invitation to the other party. Regardless, do not dwell on
this issue.
You did good by planning for the dance, but as with all great
plans they may not always work out the way you want them to.
Learn to roll with the punches. This is good experience. No
one is born perfect and we all make mistakes. The key is to
learn from them. You need to learn to remain calm when things
aren't working out the way you want them to. Some things are
beyond your control. Getting angry will not help the situation.
You need to focus on what is within your control to make the
situation better. Always make the best out of a bad situation.
You got a rare opportunity to observe that your date remains a
perfect lady while other girls may become angry or upset. It
shows that she has great character and poise. YOu need to be
able to have the same attitude. Being able to smile and make a
bad situation better is a true sign of strong character.
You could have used humor to cheer up the mood. If you're not a
funny guy, then tell her how wonderful and understanding she is.
The next time something similar happens, you will know what
to do.
Try to figure out how to get in touch with her. Maybe her
parents haven't moved. If you find out that she's married or
can't find her, let it go and move on with your life.
If you manage to get her number. Then call her up and catch
up on what's been happening in each other's lives.
Hopefully the two of you can laugh about that evening and say
how that was your first date and how much you wanted it to be
perfect but had messed it all up. Tell her how much you
learned from that experience. Say how you've always thought about
her over the years and how much you admired her character that night.
Tell her about all the positive things that have been happening in
your life since then.
Then ask her if she would be interested in visiting you at your
campus. Plan a fun date for her if she accepts. If this isn't
feasible, ask her if she would like to get together in your
hometown, whenever both of you have the time.
Be grateful to your friends for forcing you to call her. It would
seem she doesn't hold a grudge against you. Because how
you acted at the dance was really horrible. If you make a mistake,
admit it like a man and take immediate action to try and correct it.
That is a sign of strong character.
If by some miracle you get a second chance to have her in your life
again, get to know her. Talk to her. Find out what her interests
are (what she likes/dislikes). Ask her what her plans and goals are.
What places she's been to and hope to visit. You need to make your
character as strong as it can possibly be in order to be deserving
of this girl.
Forget about the photo shoot. I'm sure she has. Don't bring it
up again.
Take advantage of your college years. It's a million times easier
and better to meet girls in school than out of school. The girl you
have a crush on sounds like a wonderful person. But how do you know
there aren't wonderful girls in your school if you never make the
effort to get to know them? All you know is if they're beautiful or
not.
Instead of regretting what you should have done at the dance, focus
on what you can do in meeting a wonderful girl at your school. I
don't want you regretting your college years after you graduate.
Good luck and let us know how you do.
Canadian AM
Monday, August 26, 2002 at 09:42:31 (PDT)
[Stop putting carriage returns at the end of every line. If you are using other software to pre-write your posts, don't. In the future posts like that will be omitted. --Ed]
Yo Jon Jon,
You can do one of two things:
A) Aggressively go after her. Call her and find out if she is available. If she is not available (married or otherwise), then you are SOL (S@*t Out of Luck). If she is still available just be direct and tell her how you feel about her.
B) Forget about her. The old saying that there is a Jane for every Tarzan holds true in life.. I've been in your shoes many times. I eventually found my lifelong mate and I am now a happily married man. (If you're wondering she is WF and I am AM). There is a girl in your college that will find you attractive. You are another girl's dream man. So you can either catch a dream by going after this girl that you really like, or you can have a dream catch you by allowing some girl that likes you have a chance. Think about it and good luck. Hope this helps.
Asian Doctor Love
Monday, August 26, 2002 at 09:23:55 (PDT)
Hi Max,
I looked at your picture, and wow! You are really good looking! Your girlfriend is very lucky. You actually look a little bit like my boyfriend. :)
I read the latest on the Chinese men/women board, it's unfortunate that becuase AC girl had some bad experiences with Chinese men that she puts them all down. Maybe she's young and will grow out of her negativity.
My b/f and I live in Boston. I see AF/WM couples ALL the time, every day, but I hardly ever see any AM/WF couples! Why is this? Not that I'm keeping count or anything, but it would be nice to see more couples like us now and then. :)
To "Hidden Identity", let's see, what am I attracted to in Asian men.. For me it's NOT fetish. I've dated all kinds of men. Looks are definitely high on the list! I don't know, but for some reason Asian male faces have always attracted me- the golden skin tone, beautiful black silky hair, and nice facial features. I have also found the Asian men I've dated to be very intelligent, which is a must for me. I can't date someone I can't carry on a decent conversation with. Personality, attitude, of course. Sex- won't go into details, but I've found that Asian men make great lovers. Culture- partially, I am interested in lots of different cultures, and since I'm dating a Chinese man I've become very interested in his culture.
Jon Jon, welcome. I don't have any great words of wisdom, but it seems like you can't get this girl out of your mind. I would say get in touch with her and meet for coffee, then you can find out if she is dating someone, or not interested, or maybe she'll be very flattered and you two will become a couple. You don't know until you call! Don't live in the past, don't be stuck. You're young and in college, you should be happy and living it up, and meeting all kinds of people, don't let the past hold you back from your true happiness.
curious girl
Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 19:43:58 (PDT)
Jon Jon
Well dude. All I have to say is go for it. You aint gonna lose anything. But potentially gain a girl.
SOG
Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 19:04:07 (PDT)
jon jon,
two words: move on. it's beens ages and you still have a crush on the chick. she's not interested. you treated her like crap and you expect her to fall for you? it's over.
keep moving people, nothing to see here
Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 16:10:47 (PDT)
JonJon,
What a long and senseless post
how boring
Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 11:22:12 (PDT)
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