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ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:29:57 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 61%
Their physique | 22%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 11%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 74%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 15%
Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 73%
Their physique | 6%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 6%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 73%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 17%


This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
everyone,
Thanx for your inputs! Well, this is what happened. We finally talked, and I asked her what's gogni to happen with rides. She says that she can drive, and wants to drive. I told her i felt a little awkward that she's driving, but I told her that if she wanted to, she could. So that's all good. However, another big problem.

She originally planned to with a group of friends (happens to be mutual friends) to dinner. However, I already planned to go with another group of friends (who don't know my date too well, but know me). Basically, one party had to give in, and decide to be a little uncomfortable. Well, my other group of friends agreed to go with whoevers, so my date got her way. My question is it seems my date is getting her way every single time (meaning the driving and the dinner). I'm all for sacrificing (not because I have to, but because I choose to be nice), but when do I know when to stop. it probably isn't a biggy, but do you guys and gals think she's getting her way too much, or it's not as bad as im making it out to be?

oh, be a man, dude, sorry, if you're definition of a pussy is sacrificing sometimes to make the girl happy, then i guess i am a pussy. SORRY! not! before you start calling me a pussy, i would like to know how well you're doing with the girls

by the wya, this is JUST A FRIEND, so im not too worried about sweeping her off her feet. However, IF she was a girl i was tring to impress, what would you guys and gals suggest I do differently? THANX GUYS AND GALS!!
Awkward Student    Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 00:06:46 (PST)    [24.205.64.102]
JK,
First of all, if she hasn't given you any clear signals that she's interested in you yet, then the only way you're going to find out if she's interested in you is to ask her out on a REAL date, or tell her straight-out. Either way, you're going to have to face the risk of losing her as a friend. It can go either of 2 ways: 1)She likes you too and you guys do your thing or 2)She doesn't have feelings for you, and will become awkward because she doens't want to give you anymore signals and she knows that you like her, so it's weird for her. Anyway, if you are willing to take this risk, then go ahead. The greatest risk is not taking one. HOWEVER, with that said, if it's not worth the risk of losing her, move on to another girl! Girls are a dime a dozen, but good friends are hard to find.

Awkward Student,
It seems as if you have been bombarded with comments by the forum. I personally suggest, if she is just friends, to let her drive. Now, if it was a date, I would suggest that you stand your ground on driving (unless she has a good excuse for driving. There is going to be a power struggle, and one has to give in. Maybe you should just give in, and stand your ground for the bigger fights), but since it is just your friend, it should be fine that she's driving.
Be a man, dude,
First of all, I see that you have some knowledge of girls, but your ideas are crudely and rudely put. First of all, if Awkward Student had gone with just her friends, it is NOT bending backwards for her, but being a gentleman and taking the uncomfortable feelings off the lady and onto himself, NOT because he gets stepped on, but because he respects the lady and gives in. THIS IS FINE! He should stand his ground for bigger fish. In addition, I agree with you about the double standard, but there is no point in whining about it. Just deal with it, and know when the time is right to give in and stand your ground. I partially understand your logic of Awkward Student driving, for it is customary for males to drive to formal places. However, it is NOT the end of the world if the woman drives. If you have not been brought up to date, as the head of an airline company said "It is now possible for a flight attendent to get a pilot pregnant." Roles are changing, but what shouldn't change are the respect that women and men should have towards one another, and chivalry. It seems as if you have a massive dose of testosterone, and before you start insulting others for being a "pussy", we should first see what you're capable of. Any man can throw advice strung with insults and rudeness. It takes a wise man to get his advice through politely, for he knows that people do not listen if they are insulted in such a crude manner as you had displayed.

Yune,
I thought the first couple looked incredibly cute, and the girl that's going to get married in Hawaii is a complete fox!

To Everyone,

I'm glad that more people are starting to post. Everyone, please post your stories, questions, or feelings more often so that we may bridge this gap of culture and race between white females and asian males. I look forward to seeing your future responses, and if requested, I will be available for advice concerning relationships.
Doc Love Graduate    Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 00:00:27 (PST)    [24.205.64.102]
I really do like an Asian man at my college, but I am always afraid that they do not find American caucasian girls attractive.
US JAPN Laguage student    Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 23:15:15 (PST)    [66.210.186.130]
Yune,

How did you find those couples?
An AM    Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 20:01:01 (PST)    [172.161.140.243]
JK,

You are in college now, right. So be an adult and talk to her about it straight up, man. She's not your enemy, so don't think of it as a mental chess game all the time. Just talk to her about it. You've got to sometime. If not now with her, then with someone else. And by the way, you shouldn't feel "confused about white girls" because she held your arm and stuff. Any kind of girl could do that. If you think that's confusing, you ain't seen nothin' yet, dude.
Be decisive, and don't pull back and don't be wishy-washy. Ask her out if you like her. If you just ask her if she likes you, she won't know if that means you wanna go out or if you are just offended by the way she acts around you. She won't know how to respond to that. But if you ask her out on a date, then you know, it's gotta be a "Yes" or "No". Any "Maybe's", and she's just playing with you. All I can say. Good luck with your college experiences!
Steven Ng empy23@msn.com    Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 14:22:36 (PST)    [67.114.228.210]
cutiegirl

thats true, gentlemen pays for EVERYTHING, at ALL times. If you dont have the cash, do something that dosent require tons of money. But if it comes to paying the bills, you pay for everything. hoo-yah.
SOG    Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 13:31:13 (PST)    [216.239.163.156]
Yune,
Thanks for posting the stories of those AM/WF weddings. I don't think it's a coincidence that all of the couples are good-looking, well-educated and professionally employed. Quality men draw quality women!
Hoboken_CornellGuy    Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 12:11:11 (PST)    [64.119.241.31]
Be a man, dude,

Wow, that was pretty tough said. That's pretty much what I wanted to say, but you expressed it much better. I can hear lots of passion in your speech. Did Awkward student made you go crazy, especially because he is Korean too? Don't like it when people of your race act like Pussies and put a question mark on the whole race attitude?
Cutiegirl    Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 11:48:51 (PST)    [131.252.149.185]
JK,

She likes you enough as a friend. Ask yourself if she's worth taking a risk for. If yes, ask her out in a calm and sincere way. It can be as simple as going for dinner and a movie. If she says she has plans or some other excuse and doesn't give you another time for when she is available, then you know she's not interested. That way you know and can move on to the next girl. It's the man's job to ask the girl out. Remember: No balls, no glory.
DM    Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 10:57:01 (PST)    [206.51.26.109]
Lotus,

If you like this guy's hair, why did you look into his eyes? Unless you're crossed-eyed, I don't believe you. I think you find him attractive or certain aspects of him to be appealing. WHy look at people (or in your case, stare at him) you don't find attractive? Unless they're really freaky looking or weird looking. YOu probably find him attractive unconsciously. Or that you bf is staying behind you while you type with a gun to you head. Also if I approach you on the street one day and you don't respond to me...i'll just move on to someone else who does, not every girls are paranoid like you.
lordt78    Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 10:16:22 (PST)    [140.212.205.40]
White girls confuse the hell out of me. It's so frustrating. There's this nice white girl I'm friends with, and she's one of those people who gets along well with just about everyone.

So since she's naturally amiable and friendly to everyone else, I have no freaking clue if she's giving me signs or if she's just doing her usual stuff.

For example, she would hold on to my arm while walking together, or give me looks in classes (I'm in college). But she probably does this to everyone else she meets (although I haven't seen her do it) because she's such a friendly, hyped up, flirty person.

How the heck am I supposed to know if she likes me or not? Halp.
JK    Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 21:55:39 (PST)    [128.61.67.29]
Awkward student,

I'm a Korean guy too, but that's where our similarities end. I actually have two solid BALLS between my legs. Why are you so indecisive?? Maybe it's coz you're young and inexperienced, I'll let you have that. I hope you change into a man in time though.

Here is my advice. YOU MUST DRIVE. You are being a gentleman when you think about her comfort level around your Korean pals. She isn't friends with any of them, so it will be weird for her. If you didnt know any of her friends but went with them anyway that would be bending over backwards for her. But they are also your friends, so that works out. Good job on that. Its always good to be a gentleman.

B-U-T......You must drive. Not her. I don't care if she screams and kicks when you say you're going to drive; just tie her down to the passenger seat. It is the MAN'S JOB to drive when going to a formal function with a date. That is just the way of the world. Women are spoiled little creatures that want the cake and want to eat it too (admit it ladies.... ;) ). They will want to be the strong, independent woman, but they will want you to hold them in your arms, carry the groceries, lift the sofa corner while they vacuum, kill the cockroach and give them the coat in cold weather. Don't buy into this PC crap. Women want to be treated like fragile little things. It makes them feel beautiful. I don't claim to know everything in the world, but I do know this. A lot of women might put of a BIIIIG front and act like some tough-lady lesbian, but once you are intimate with them they will turn into purring kittens.

Anyway, bottom line -- YOU DRIVE!! There is no if and butts, and PC-ness can kiss your little ass. I MEAN it. You are not a man if you dont drive her to this formal. You can pay for the date, you can buy her flowers (although I consider that bending over backwards for a girl, I won't go into that), but YOU MUST DRIVE.

Stop being such a PUSSY. If you don't follow my advice, I say just stop pretending to be a man and YOU wear the dress to the formal, not her.
Be a man, dude.    Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 20:08:10 (PST)    [128.253.186.46]
Awkward Student,

details, details, don¢´t even bother so much on those. If you keep thinking so much about these details at the end your date is gonna turn to be an awkward experience because nothing ever works out as you plan. Be spontaneous, calm, and just try to have a good time with your date and your friends
K    Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 19:54:31 (PST)    [196.40.43.75]
"Now, I ask her about the car situation and it seems that she said that she could drive, and actually wanted to."

If she want to and she said she want to, you should do the same. If you didn't speak up before. It's better to just let it go now. If you didn't speak up when you, in fact, wanna drive, it's kind of wussy. Being a gentleman means respecting her wishes and also expecting her to respect yours too. If she insists, let her know that you have the option to refuse her request and you choose to go with her idea. It's not being stepped on at all to go with the other person's idea.
an AM    Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 19:07:35 (PST)    [172.140.43.163]
Awkward Student,

It shouldn't matter who drives. If it makes you feel better, maybe you should. But try not to sweat such small details. You have all of your life to prove how much of a gentleman to people all of your life. If she offered to drive, cool. Don't take too much time on decisions like this. I think she would prefer decisiveness, over who's turn it is to do what. Maybe best to always offer to do everything, and if she or anyone else offers to take some of the financial/whatever role more, then all the better that you made yourself seem able to provide all that is needed, while giving an opportunity for the other person to show you how much the want to give back. But in the end, you can't really worry about it, because if this is an issue with her, is she really worth it? Can you imagine yourself all of your life wondering if you are suppose to pay for this or that, or if you should do this/that because you are they guy? I think you just want to have a good time, right? Good, Luck.
Steven Empy23@msn.com    Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 14:54:45 (PST)    [67.114.231.87]
I've noticed a large increase in AM/WF couples in the last few years, particularly between Korean males and WFs. Take a look at the following Korean male/WF couples and their stories:

www.theknot.com/co_pwpa.htm?coupleid=100291844408680

www.theknot.com/co_pwpa.htm?coupleid=102291322675912

www.theknot.com/co_pwpa.htm?coupleid=097750912107586

www.theknot.com/co_pwpa.htm?coupleid=099940236173708

www.theknot.com/co_pwpa.htm?coupleid=101062563275352

www.theknot.com/co_pwpa.htm?coupleid=102311850675012

www.theknot.com/co_pwpa.htm?coupleid=01103153517

www.theknot.com/co_pwpa.htm?coupleid=102480299907740

www.theknot.com/co_pwpa.htm?coupleid=097793894111649

Yune    Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 11:43:10 (PST)    [209.106.200.152]
Awkward Student,

if you want to be a real gentleman, you should not even discuss such things with your girl: You pay for dinner and she pays for pictures; you do this, she does this. That's not a gentleman behavior AT ALL. She seems OK with that? She is just testing you. But she will make some conclusions and I am sorry to say, but I am afraid that's gonna be you first and last dance with her.
Cutiegirl    Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 11:32:28 (PST)    [131.252.149.145]
Hey Guys and Gals, I have a question concering what's being a gentleman,and what's being stepped on.

Okay, so this girl i'm going to my formal dance with, I offered to buy the ticket and dinner, and she woudl pay for the pictures. She seemed delighted at that fact. In addition, because it would be awkward if she went with my group of Korean friends, i offered to go with her group of friends (which so happened to be a group of mutual friends). Now, I ask her about the car situation and it seems that she said that she could drive, and actually wanted to. Now, I was already expecting that I drive beause it's usually customary that the guy drives. However, I don't know where I draw the line on being a gentleman or just being a guy who gets stepped all over. Should I let her drive, though I would prefer to, to keep her happy? Or should i draw the line and say that I should drive?

I guess the main question is, where do you draw the line between being a gentleman and a wuss that gets stepped on?
Awkward Student    Monday, October 28, 2002 at 22:39:38 (PST)    [24.205.60.103]
Doc,

yes i'm asian. actually, this girl is white in skin color but she is latina. i was originally replying to Awkward Student's post but you happened to be in this forum also - i thought i could get some friendly advice at the same time. hope that's okay. thanks
compass error    Monday, October 28, 2002 at 18:13:31 (PST)    [24.191.63.72]
lordt78,

I am not trying to crush anyone's hopes... I figured someone has to show the "negative" side to all this and since you are all GUYS I was trying to let you know how not only I thought but how a lot of other girls think. I did not write the whole story since I wanted to keep it brief but I did look at his eyes... didn't mean I liked him anyway! I wrote "when I got caught looking at him" which meant I looked at him in the EYES. How would I know if he saw me if I didn't?

When I walk down the street or wherever I tend to be a very alert person and I am always looking all around me... I do not look at the floor or the clouds when I walk, do you? I look into a lot of people's eyes as I pass them by and it does not mean I have a crush on them.
You say that 80% of the time when people look at you in the eyes they are interested in you sexually? Well then, I guess I like a whole lotta people!

I did not mean to put your theory down or put you down personally so please do not take it that way. Don't assume I don't know anything because I have taken a class on communication & psychology myself... I am not talking out of thin air. Stats are also notorious for being inaccurate and depend on a lot of factors like age, country, nationality of respondents, etc.

But, I don't think it's always good for guys to just go up to a girl on the basis of eye contact. In some cases you know someone's interested from smiles etc... BUT I have had been harassed by guys so many times that I wasn't even looking at so when a normal guy with good intentions would come up to me he would not get a fair chance and I admit that. That's why I suggested to look for girls elsewhere than on public transport which is a place where you have nothing else to do but look at other people! Guys have a disadvantage in very public places because many women are wary of anyone talking to them.

And also, I took what you said in your post to give it another perspective but I never directly called you anything or put you into some category so I would like the same, thanks.

Doc Love Graduate,

Well if the guy is not being a player, sleazeball or whatnot I guess it would be ok IMHO. I know a guy with a lot of girl buddies because he is so easy to talk to and girls dig that... lol! And if it's the kind of girl that likes to chase a guy the bit of jealousy will help her on her way... hehe. You just have to make sure the girl dosen't feel intimidated by the other girls if they are around him at the same time as she.
Lotus ^.^    Monday, October 28, 2002 at 16:55:25 (PST)    [216.221.34.10]

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