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POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ LATINA RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:27:43 PM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Sad and Confused,
I know you're very frustrated about your bf's family views of not bringing home a girl unless he's gonna marry her. Usually, at least in my experiences, that means they would only bring a guy, or girl home that they were already engaged to. I have some asian friends, Korean included whose family are very traditional. In case you're wondering, I'm Chinese-American. I have dated Latinas, and I dated an Arabic girl once who didn't want me to meet her parents unless we were going to get engaged. Needless to say, I was a bit frustrated, but I understood.
How do YOU feel about him? Do you love him deeply? Can you see yourself with him for the long haul? The best way to deal with this is to sit him down and talk to him. Communication can be the savior, or death of any relationship. Its all about communication.
About his grandmother being sick. Being that he is the eldest grandson of the eldest son, his face is probably what his grandmother wants to see the most right now. She probably loves him more than her own children. I can relate to that. My grandparents who are no longer with me, loved me even more than their children because I am the last son for 2 families. He and his family are going through a very rough time right now. He might lash out on occasion, or not give you as much attention, but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He probably loves you deeply. If you really want to show him you really care for him, stand by him during this hard time. Believe me, his family will take notice and respect and love you for it. The best girlfriends are the ones who stick by your side at the darkest hours. Your boyfriend's family is going through one of them. If you break up with him, it will only make him hurt even more.
Although your bf is busy with his ill grandmother, he should be paying a bit more attention to you, I agree. When you talk to him about this, do not nag him, or yell at him. Sit down and express to him camly how you feel and how you feel about him.
I can say a whole lot more, but this is getting a bit long. I've had an almost identical situation happen to me in the past. Email me if you need more help, and or insights.
Max orgazmo83@hotmail.com
Thursday, September 05, 2002 at 17:45:19 (PDT)
[131.252.149.172]
Socialite,
You shouldn't judge someone like that. Especially if you don't really even know the person.
I work for immigration and have met alot of really nice men from it. I am interested in one man in particular. He needs to get settled on on his feet I think. I found out that he and his father are having alot of problem. We have had lunch together a couple of times. I think hes a little too young for me. I am 35 and hes 28. He said that age is not an issue for him, but it feels that way for me. Also the problems that he and his father are having. When I asked him if he mabye needed some money, he got very angry and said that hes not some charity case.
Daisy
Thursday, September 05, 2002 at 13:50:36 (PDT)
[205.188.209.112]
sad and confused,
I'm in a LDR too. Those are so hard. I think you are right. Especially when he said that he only let the girl meet his parents if he is going to marry her. I would be upset about that part too. You should ask him about that specifically. I think its important that you ask him about that.
ask him
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 14:04:10 (PDT)
[64.12.96.237]
Me, Who Else,
I respect the fact that you resolve yourself to step up to the plate. I know exactly where you are coming from. I myself get the butterflies and such when I am called upon to investigate a pretty female making eyes at me. It's a turn on for me when a girl is kind of shy. I like her better than the overly confident type who may stray by testing her game on a wide variety of men. Keep that in mind. Although confident ballsy guys may be more appealing to some, who's to say they won't turn into players if they aren't already? Why should they stop with one female if their game is that tight and they're so full of confidence? Why not keep going and going until they have themselves a nice little black book?
So you may want to appreciate us shy guys a little better when you know what else is out there.
Sometimes Shy Guy
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 12:47:20 (PDT)
[205.188.209.112]
Me!Who Else?!?!
It seems like you may have some insecurities within your own self. Maybe this insecurity is beginning to show on the outside. This could be why AM are not approaching you. I will not approach an insecure woman.
Socialite
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 09:54:51 (PDT)
[152.163.189.232]
I dated a latina once. It was the most intense relatioship. Everything was just to the extreme. Extreme loving and Extreme fighting. Come to think of it, it was one of the best relatioships I had.
Joe Naka 25/JM dr_sharked@yahoo.com
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 21:41:28 (PDT)
[138.89.38.174]
ok i need some help.( ayudame)
My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year now. We have had some problems, but we always seem to get through them. The problems stem from having a (dun dun dun) LDR. yup........i hate those damn LDR's. Well we were getting to a very serious part and basically told him that i don't do the 5 year girlfriend program. So he needs to decide how serious he wants this to be. All was good........we would have another discussion about this topic in about the next month or so. Well then came the expected problem. His grandmother became ill and went into a coma. We knew she had been sick for the past 2 years, but really took a turn for the worse. Well for the whole week he barely calls me. I think i spoke to him for about 10 minutes in a whole week. I didnt know what to think. I knew he had to be with his family, but i was worried too. I couldn't understand why he didn't want to talk to me. Now he is flying out to corea. In fact he left today. He is the eldest grandson of the eldest son and now his parents want to move back. The problem i am having is that i am feeling really used. HE knew his parents may eventually move back. But this whole time he talked to me as if he knew he was going to stay. I know its his parents and he has obligations. If he wants to move to Korea , because he wants to, then i will have to live with that. But doesnt there come a point, no matter what culture, that a boy becomes a man and makes his own decisions. I am so confused. His family is very conservative and religious to boot. I have never even met any of his friends........i feel like such a fool. He said i am the first person that he has ever loved. I asked him if he was ashamed of me........he said that he was proud to be with me. I mean i am cute.:-) I just dont know whether i should back off or what. I am just so damn angry. He said that you only bring a girl home to meet your parents if you plan on marrying her. I guess i am not good enough. Trust me.....i am good looking, great body, smart, funny and definitely caring, perhaps too caring. Are there any cultural things that i am missing to help me better understand???? He is quite torn up about it..........but he isnt expressing himself. Can someone help me?
sad and confused lamia_2001@hotmail.com
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 17:17:39 (PDT)
[67.24.124.123]
Me!Who else?
Come on, you should take a chance if you like someone, my girlfriend had the guts to come up on top of the speakers where I was dancing at this club. Even if she wasn't attactive I would of at least brought her a drink.
I think most guys of all races would be rather flattered when a girl makes the initiative.
No guts, go glory!
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 15:44:19 (PDT)
[152.163.189.232]
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