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GOLDSEA | ASIAMS.NET | POLL & COMMENTS

IDENTITY OF ASIAN ADOPTEES
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 04:26:06 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are Asian American, which best describes your feeling toward Asians who grew up in adoptive white families?
I can relate with them as I do with other AA. | 27%
They put me off by seeming more white than Asian. | 22%
I make an effort to be understanding of their situation. | 19%
I am unsure how to relate to them. | 32%

Assuming you are an Asian adoptee raised by a white family, which best describes your own feelings?
I feel perfectly comfortable around Asians. | 18%
I make an effort to fit in with Asians so I can reclaim my proper identity. | 38%
I have all but given up trying to fit in with Asians. | 27%
I am comfortable around Whites and see no reason to be with Asians. | 18%

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
I am a 30 yr old Korean American adopted at the age of 1 by a very loving Caucasian family. I had such a wonderfully strong, supportive and loving family environment (my brother adopted from Philippines)that I honestly don't look back. Sure I'm curious, but not the point where I'm going to hop on a plane and find out who dropped me off at doorstep of orphanage. No, it's not like that for me.
SC    Friday, October 18, 2002 at 13:15:48 (PDT)    [208.48.227.254]
I was adopted by a white family. In the early years, it was tough especially going through identity crises, was in trouble with the law, etc... But what i noticed is that you become older you becaome more wise and humble, just live life in peace. Just be glad you have your health and well being... easily said that done. true asians that accept the fact that they were adopted int a white family really understand thenselve as. peace to all
I can relate    Friday, October 04, 2002 at 01:54:48 (PDT)    [66.166.203.157]
Rugbpoet,

I was also integrated into a white-washing process from the early beginnings of my life. At a certain point of my development I began to deny East Asian roots. But this is no reason to go on with the white-washing way. Lots of "East Asian" people who have lost their ties to East Asia may not even be of East Asian kind. E.g. I found out that I fit rather into a Central Asian cliche than into the commonly known East Asian one. So my hint is to do some research on a possible Central Asian heritage. Central Asia is quite different from any Chinatown.
rare stuff    Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 15:40:42 (PDT)    [62.226.252.180]
Damn, Beachgerl...just caught your post from months ago, and I gotta say, you have the right stuff, girl.
Apache Driver    Friday, September 06, 2002 at 21:53:05 (PDT)
With a name like Rugbypoet you sound like a white guy pulling a prank.

However I will acknowledge that some white people adopt asian kids and try to make them "white". It's an awfully cruel practice borne in sick minds.

you wrote
"To this day, going to a Chinatown in a city completely freaks me out."

That's terribly offensive. The SF chinatown is nothing to right home about but I've never felt uncomfortable there.

you wrote
"I have never dated an Asian woman, and in fact find them very unattractive."

Again terribly offensive. your fiance is white - well treat her with respect, but it's horrible how you haven't dated an asian woman. That's partly why you haven't any sense of your culture.

you wrote
"My fiance is from Ireland, and we are going to raise our family over there, since she can offer our children something that regrettably I cannot: roots."

Hey why not take a trip to korea? I mean if you're ethnic korean and your kids will be part korean, why not take this opportunity to introduce yourself and them to their country of ethnic origin.

Good luck man. Take care and open your mind.
Political Observer    Friday, September 06, 2002 at 15:21:24 (PDT)
Rugbypoet,

I don't see how Ireland is going to help. Are there a lot of mixed Asian/Whites in Ireland?

I think Hawaii would probably be a better place if you want your hapa children to have a strong positive identity of being a hapa.

Good Luck in Life.
AC Dropout    Friday, September 06, 2002 at 13:41:30 (PDT)
Everyone has problems and issues that they can complain about, or blame for the condition that they are currently in. I guess mine would be being adopted from Korea and growing up here in the US. This experience has left me feeling no real identity with any culture.

People ask me where I am from, and I really believe that I am Pennsylvania Dutch, which always draws a laugh and the question, "No, really, where are you from?" Growing up in a homogenously white community, I learned to hate my Asian features. It was ingrained into my psyche that my differences were flaws, and that I was inferior to everyone else, especially dating.

When I left my hometown and moved to various cities, I found it awkward being around other Asian people. To this day, going to a Chinatown in a city completely freaks me out. I can't handle looking around and seeing almost everyone looking like me, instead of the other way around.

I have never dated an Asian woman, and in fact find them very unattractive. I think the feeling is reciprocated, as the only time I ever get any looks from Asian women is when they see me with my fiance, who is white. Then they seem to be incredibly jealous and spiteful, although I would most likely be laughed off if I were single.

Not to be long winded, but I feel as an adoptee, I have no identity. I am a man without a country. My fiance is from Ireland, and we are going to raise our family over there, since she can offer our children something that regrettably I cannot: roots. My kids are going to feel like they belong somewhere, instead of feeling they belong nowhere.
Rugbypoet Nzallblcksrugby2@aol.com    Friday, September 06, 2002 at 10:16:59 (PDT)
It sucks that Korea can't accept its ranks of disabled and parentless children. I'm an adoptee and I swear that I was one of those left in front of a police station since I have no records and my korean name is as about as generic as they get. I understand the reasons behind the country's stigma against the disabled or illigitimate, but there isn't a day when I don't regret being born to more sensible, loving, and better-off parents.

I have AK sisters and brothers as well and some of them have severe physical disabilities. I mean how can a parent just look at a kid when he/she is born, see that something isn't perfect, and just give it up - not just to another family, but to another culture thousands of miles away. Me, I was sick as a dog when I was born, which is probably why I was "dropped off." If I had the chance I'd show my biological parents how well-off I am now - and I'd feel just as spiteful of them as curious, and as loving.

I'm not sure if any other adoptees feel this way but it's definitely a love-hate relationship with Korea. On one hand it's like, "they gave me up, why should I show any regard for them." On the other hand I'm drawn to those that (at least) look like me. I'm forced into the Asian-American box because I'm under the umbrella of malicious stereotypes that America throws our way.

There's no question that as an AK I've lived a better life than I might've if I had stayed in Korea. But I still wonder - what makes Korea think that it can just wish (or export) their social problems away - Can't they learn to deal with them?

- AK Shin
AK Shin    Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 13:21:42 (PDT)
Readers on this poll might be interested in the following article, which right now is only being carried by the Kansas Star ... see:
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/news/local/3759047.htm

It concerns Scott Fujita, now a rookie linebacker for the Chiefs. Interesting quote:

"My adopted dad is Japanese and my adopted mother is Caucasian. I always swore up and down that I was Japanese because I felt like I was."
T.H. Lien    Monday, July 29, 2002 at 17:12:26 (PDT)
I was adopted from Vietnam 27 years ago. I love my family and I work in Boston's Chinatown so I feel connect to both. The kids at work point out that my mom doesn't look like me, she's white, and they want to know where my "real mom" is. I explain to them that the mom that brought me up is my real mom and my other mom is my birth mother.
Tran W-C tcunnane73@hotmail.com    Monday, May 27, 2002 at 14:10:05 (PDT)

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