|
|
|
|
|
GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
IDENTITY OF ASIAN ADOPTEES
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:26:01 PM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
Assuming you are Asian American, which best describes your feeling toward Asians who grew up in adoptive white families?
I can relate with them as I do with other AA. |
27%
They put me off by seeming more white than Asian. |
22%
I make an effort to be understanding of their situation. |
19%
I am unsure how to relate to them. |
32%
Assuming you are an Asian adoptee raised by a white family, which best describes your own feelings?
I feel perfectly comfortable around Asians. |
18%
I make an effort to fit in with Asians so I can reclaim my proper identity. |
38%
I have all but given up trying to fit in with Asians. |
27%
I am comfortable around Whites and see no reason to be with Asians. |
18%
CONTACT US
|
ADVERTISING INFO
© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.
|
|
|
|
WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
To beachgerl,
Your parents have done a wonderful job raising you. Based on your post, they raised you as an independent thinker. I am very happy to read your post.
Thanks to your parents, I believe you will go far in your life. And, I hope that you will find your biological parents in Korea.
In regard to families, family is family. When you shake anyone's family tree--whether it is an Asian family tree, Caucasian family tree, Black family tree, etc.--real hard everything would fall off except for the caring and loving for each other. Basically, I believe that your Caucasian family values are not much different from an Asian family values.
What about those traditional Asian family values we talk about? These traditions are not much different than wearing different style of clothing. If it fits, enjoy it.
waterbottle
Wednesday, April 17, 2002 at 07:15:55 (PDT)
MLK:
I guess that my wife's Family were dissidents since they were in Nanjing and had two girls, whom they both obviously love very dearly. It didn't help that my father in law at the time (late 60s/early 70s) chose to learn English instead of Russian. This probably explains why they moved to the US as soon as they got the chance.
We have a 2 month old daugther now, and you would be amazed at how her maternal grandmother and grandfather just dote all over her. When we were expeting Helena, my mother in law repeatedly said that she preferred a girl over a boy for a long list of reasons.
I know other AA families where girls were preferred, but that's here and not in Asia. I think in AA familes, there is more of a balance of preference for genders because we don't have as many societal restrictions (i.e. one child policy) here in the US as in China. Combine that with a very strong feminist base here in the US (ever watch Lifetime or Oxygen, you'd think every man on the face of the earth is a wifebeater, thief, cheater, etc.) which does influence Asian Americans, and it makes for a better situation for women in general.
Hank Lewis
Wednesday, April 17, 2002 at 06:13:42 (PDT)
P.S. If I may ask, what is your "invisible disability?"
so_it_goes
Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 21:10:00 (PDT)
beachgerl,
I really enjoyed reading your post. :-) I am a Korean-American (not adopted) female from the Midwest as well. I'm really curious as to know if you had any identiy issues while growing up as an adoptee. I live in the state with the most adopted Koreans, so I've had my fair share of seeing many around. In fact, there were more adopted Koreans at my school than non-adopted Koreans. I've talked to many adopted Koreans as well, and many have said that they've had a hard time finding a solid base as to where they belong.
For instance, there was an adopted Korean female who I had the pleasure of working with who had gone to a Korean restaurant. She said her experience was horrible--every server had a frown plastered on his/her face, and the service they gave her was unacceptable. She told me, "I guess I don't belong anywhere. I don't belong with the whites nor do I belong with the Koreans."
Just to let you know, a lot of Korean restaurants are like that--even I find it disturbing (probably because I grew up in the US, where service providers go out of their way to make customers feel much more welcome--most of the time). Even my mom, who speaks Korean gets the same reception, and she even comments, "Koreans are very serious--they should learn how to be more light-hearted." And if you go to Korea, it's very hard to see people smile. In fact, if you smile too much, they will think something is wrong with you. It's a weird phenomena, but most countries with a base in Confucism tend to be unhappier than other countries--psychological studies have shown it. If you have to rank order them from least unhappy to most unhappy: China, Japan, then Korea.
When you said, "the rest of Asians are from traditional Asian families which I seem cannot relate to 'cause my background's different from theirs," did you actually make a real effort to reach out to them? I'm just curious because the typical reactions I see are that both sides (non-adopted and adopted) seem very hesitant to make the first move in establishing a relationship.
Yes, I would say that Korea is a male-dominated society. However, it's not as bad as you imagine it to be. Whoever told you these things have blown things up way out of proportion. Thus, I encourage you to make that first step in visiting Korea--don't be afraid! Plus, what a better time to go than this summer--the FIFA World Cup Finals are coming up!
Now, I have a question for you. Because I grew up in the Midwest like yourself, where Scandinavian blond hair and blue eyes are plentiful, was it a shock for you to see such a greater ratio of Asian Americans in California? I've never been there, so I'm very curious. I see white people everywhere, so I just think it would be interesting to go to someplace where there are a ton of Asians. I would assume that there is much more of a "Asian pride" thing going on there? Furthermore, do you find yourself more at ease with who you are there (with respect to identity) than when you lived in the Midwest?
Well, I would have to say that I enjoyed writing to you and hope you have gotten some insight from a nonadopted Korean. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to ask--I would love to fill you in through the "Korean looking glass" Peace!
so_it_goes
Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 21:08:55 (PDT)
I'm also yet another Corean adoptee. Only that I have an invisible disability. I grew up with white parents but they were very loving and strict with me, so I grew up in relatively normal environment with a sister, not Asian, who is also adopted. So, I'm very grateful for my parents. In college I did learn more about Corean culture and history, then I realized that, without offending anyone, esp. a Corean, they don't treat Corean females that well, esp. those who are poor, handicapped or illegimate. I can imagine what would happen to me if I stayed in Corea, I'd probably end up being killed or a prostitute 'cause of my handicap. My Corean biological parents were strong enough to send me away to America. Only things I brought with me to America were a photo album showing pictures of my real parents and home, a short letter from them, and some clothes. In the letter, written in Corean, it said that they wish me a better life in America and their home address. How about that? They didn't abandon me, but they didn't want me to be treated badly in Corea. That means a lot, and my adoptive parents also. Someday I will visit Corea and maybe try find my real family if they're still alive to this day. I didn't know about the address till years later since I couldn't read Corean. Anyway, I just feel that Corean culture's very male-dominated and strict, so I'd prefer to be an American 'cause of its liberties and freedom for women. I believe in freedom above all. Free to love, free to eat, free to work, free to socialize, free to learn different things and cultures, and so on. I grew up in the mid-west then moved to California. I was overwhelmed by all of the Asian population but to this day I didn't have any Asian friend BUT one. And he's very similar to me only that we share same handicap but he's not adopted and Chinese. The rest of Asians are from traditional Asian families which I seem cannot relate to 'cause my background's different from theirs. Oh well.
beachgerl
Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 10:01:25 (PDT)
NESWEST COMMENTS |
EARLIER COMMENTS
|