Leading Bi-Cultural Lives | Asian American Poll

LEADING BI-CULTURAL LIVES
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:24:40 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Is it possible to embrace both American and Asian cultures and find social acceptance with both Americanized and non-Americanized groups of friends?
Yes | 77%
No | 23%

Which of the following factors is most important in facilitating a successful bi-cultural life?
Familitarity with both cultures | 32%
Family upbringing | 28%
Fluency in both languages | 16%
Security in one's identity | 24%

Which of the following factors most discourages bi-cultural lives for U.S.-raised Asian Americans?
Inability to speak Asian languages | 28%
Outmarriage to non-Asians | 14%
Fear of seeming too Asian | 30%
Concern for kids' image with peers | 28%

Which segment of the Asian American population currently has the greatest positive impact on American society?
American-Born | 56%
Foreign-born, American-educated | 44%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

To Abandoned/Adopted/Confused K-Girl:

Don't be afraid to reach out and ask the Asian community for information about your heritage. I don't live near my child's Asian family nor do I live in an area with a large Asian population. However, when I meet Asian people locally they always tell where I take my child to see other Asian people, festivals ect.... Twenty years ago people didn't know how important a positive self-image was for a child. Unfortunately, a lot of adopted children and bi-racial children have suffered because of that. My child is part Asian and I am trying to instill cultural and racial pride in him. My twenty and thirtysomething half-asian cousins know nothing about their Asian heritage and it is not healthy (their teenage years were unnecessarily hard). Now that they have children they are trying to learn about their other culture. It's never to late to learn! Good luck, I hope you find what you are looking for.
lady's view xraejae@yahoo.com

You are a child of the 21st Century! That's the way the world is going isn't it? Be proud, be strong! I'm from Sydney AUSTRALIA which is VERY "Eurasian"!
OSAKA VAMPIRE ram@osaka.email.ne.jp

"3. Most Asian babies have this "birthmark" which disappears when they get older. I myself was born with it. The placement is usually around the lower back area and spreads towards the V-spot in between the baby's buttocks."

Do hapa babies get this birthmark too?
I don't know if I had one or not.

Jay... the inquisitive hapa

To ABANDONED/ADOPTED/CONFUSED K-GRL,

I must apologize that I am not a Korean, so I am unable to reach out to you in that aspect. However, I am Asian, I am a female, and I grew up in an exclusively white area of the country where I was the oddest looking thing around, so I understand your feelings of isolation. Since I don't know you, the best I can do (and I'm hoping a Korean brother or sister will step in here and add to this discussion) is to extrapolate and try to get some answers for you. Here goes my best guestimate.

Question number:

1. Perhaps you can glean some information from this website, which talks about infanticide of mainly girls due to social and traditional values which favor boys.

http://www.gendercide.org/case_infanticide.html

2. A picture of you would be helpful in determining relevant facial features and beauty standards (and they are human-created beauty standards, so they tend to be very unreliable). Maybe GoldSea Editors can help with an area where picture postings of posters could be possible...not my call.

3. Most Asian babies have this "birthmark" which disappears when they get older. I myself was born with it. The placement is usually around the lower back area and spreads towards the V-spot in between the baby's buttocks.

Good luck with your search.

MLK

I was born in Seoul South Korea, abandoned at birth, and adopted by a white American family at infancy. I have no information whatsoever about my parentage, and I feel I have no sense of my Korean heritage. I will never know my biological parents, if I have any brothers or sisters, or the circumstances of my abandonment. I don't even know my real birthday! I was found very early in infancy, so medically, the orphanage I was sent to probably guessed pretty accurately. But I was a premature baby (about four-and-a-half pounds) so that could have thrown them off. Anyway, I have been living a uni-cultural American life, desperatley trying to make somekind of transition into a bi-cultural one. I want to be more in touch with the Korean part of me, but I don't even know where to start.

I know this may seem really tangent to the poll subject, but I'm really looking for someone (possibly a Korean/Korean-American) that can help me out and I figured this would be a good place to post a messege.

I am a 17 year old female. I think my gender might have contributed to my abandonment. Also, my adoptive father (who has a doctorite in pharmacy) told me my health at infancy and my baby teeth as a child reflected poor pre-natal care on my mother's part. My biological parent/parents/family might have been poor and unable to financially support a child. That is the reasoning that I see as the most logical for my abandonment, partly because it would hurt me if it was for any other reason.

Lets see....here are just three of my many burning questions....

#1 What is the most likely reason for my abandonment? (1983)

#2 About my facial/physical features: am I full Korean? My adoptive father (who has seen parts of asia in the navy, and who has worked along side many Koreans in the medical field) seems to think that I don't look full blooded Korean. He says its something about my profile. Most of the time other asians that I have briefly talked to think that I am Chinese or say that I look chinese to them. Others debate whether I am Korean or Chinese before I tell them. Some Koreans say I look full Korean though, so I am very confused.

#3 Also, (and this is a little ebarrassing) I had a blue-ish birth mark that covered my whole *ahem* lower backside when I was very little. It faded away completely early in childhood. What does this mean? Is it common for Koreans?

I am very interested in learning to differenciate between asian facial features so that I'll have a clearer picture of my own identity. I also wonder if I am considered pretty by Korean standards.

I hope that one day I will feel at least somewhat at home in the this physical mold that I have been fitted into. By gaining knowledge from other Korean/Korean-Americans or any other Asian-Americans, I might be able to find some kind of true connection to the blood that runs through my vains. But until I do, I will never be at peace with myself.

PLEASE....THIS IS GENUINELY VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. If you have any information that can help answer any of my questions, or help me in general at all, E-MAIL ME!!!!
ABANDONED/ADOPTED/CONFUSED K-GRL sweetgravity@hotmail.com

In response to CM in the midwest, I think it's "ok" that you forgot your chinese since you didn't get much opportunity to use it. I think as long as you acknowledge your roots and not deny who you are, then that's all that counts. Anybody who labels you as not being "chinese" enough, is blatant ignorant. As for ASIAN PRIDE, that has
become an excuse for racism.
chinese guy

I am an Asian female. I am disgusted by the outright racism by Asians /Asian-Americans on this sight. YOU wonder why there is so much racism in this world, but YOU refuse to look at YOURSELF.
disgusted

I want a bi asian woman for sex
safecracker safecracker40@hotmail.com

I was born in Seoul, Korea. I came to Chicago a year ago after my third year in college there. The education and culture that I was exposed to in Korea contributes to the range of options I can pick up for pretty much every occasion. Experiences in Korea help me to appreciate the good sides of each culture and to criticize the less good ones. I remember one day I was upset because I had to learn several different language in my public school days. One of them is English which I wouldn't have had to learn if I were born in US. But the exposure to Chinese, Korean, German and English helped me to understand each culture in addition to the languages themselves. When I tried to seriously learn Chinese and Swedish, they came to me much easier than to anybody else. Also, the knowledge about the asian culture I've taken for grated for 21 years helped me resolve any problem and find better way of thinking and achieving goals. Plus, Because I've been soaked in two different cultures, I don't get shocked by any culture though I could have some preferences. I learned in America how to embrace the cultural differences of different communities. Cultural acceptance is required also between Americans. There are a lot different communities even though they are all American. Each group has its own culture that the other doesn't understand well. One of the extreme examples is African American and European American. They don't seem to get along a lot to me. When I tried to understand each group's own culture and asked, each group welcomed me and we became friends. Whatever race or nationality one has, blending and becoming one is matter of effort to understand and accept each other's own culture. If you give an effort to learn and adopt good culture from each culture, that would be ideal. It'll enrich and develop your own culture, which Americans had been good at. You guys, Americans, need to keep it going. Maybe you guys need the second melting pot.
Jumanji olbyun@hotmail.com

I'm was born and raised in the midwest. I've hardly seen any asians in my city. It wasn't until college where I saw more and even then, they were varied in background. Because of this, i've never really had an environment where I could use my cultural language (Chinese) other than at home. But outside influence is strong so I spoke English all the time and eventually forgot a lot of Chinese. So now I speak English practically all the time. I know it isn't good to forget Chinese but isn't it ok to speak English as long as you don't forget your heritage? Many of my relatives speak Chinese and only recently have they dropped the language issue with me. It's the same with some Chinese friends and my parents friends. I'm just wondering, how many of you know your cultural language and do you think that you have to know your cultural language to be "Asian"?
CM in the Midwest

Heh you people are too quick to jump on UC Berkeley Chinese. I feel sorry for you guys who are blinded by your "asian pride". If you guys out there don't believe that asian americans are pretty racist, you live in a freaking box. Open your eyes asian americans are insanely racist. Is it our fault? Not really, I mean I can understand why we like to segregate ourselves. Hundreds of years of racism and hate against us has made us quite defensive. Not to say that isn't slowly changing, but don't kid yourself, a lot of asian americans are racist. Not everyone is but there are plenty, just like every other ethnic base. Plus if you don't believe asians self-segregate again your a blind idiot. Just look at some of the messages on these forums with koreans/chinese/filipinos/indians/japanese all bickering at each other and claiming one is better than the other. Its pathetic. Some would even call that "racism". Get a clue. As far as his comment on asians hanging out with other asians because they have black hair and yellow skin, I think thats a little off base. Just because someone asian hangs out with someone else asian doesn't mean jack all. Its when they won't let anyone of any other color or even culture (ie, korean clique, not letting in chinese people) hang out with them or discriminate that it harms what others percieve. Dave, 21

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