Leading Bi-Cultural Lives | Asian American Poll

LEADING BI-CULTURAL LIVES
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:24:39 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Is it possible to embrace both American and Asian cultures and find social acceptance with both Americanized and non-Americanized groups of friends?
Yes | 77%
No | 23%

Which of the following factors is most important in facilitating a successful bi-cultural life?
Familitarity with both cultures | 32%
Family upbringing | 28%
Fluency in both languages | 16%
Security in one's identity | 24%

Which of the following factors most discourages bi-cultural lives for U.S.-raised Asian Americans?
Inability to speak Asian languages | 28%
Outmarriage to non-Asians | 14%
Fear of seeming too Asian | 30%
Concern for kids' image with peers | 28%

Which segment of the Asian American population currently has the greatest positive impact on American society?
American-Born | 56%
Foreign-born, American-educated | 44%

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Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Hi its Jade again from London.

I thought that i would raise a few more points which i was hoping to discuss, that i thought about this morning ( ion the cold winters day)

1. FOBs- OK so theres all this debate about FOB v ABCs and one guy suggested to me why is that i dont date FOBs?

Im pretty openminded and i accept anyone regardless of colour,and i believe people should mix around as much as they can because your life will be enriched by different peoples experiences. I have lived in the UK,for 8 years, Australia for 16 years, i have gone backpacking solo all over Europe and i have mates of all different cultural backgrounds.

So the reason why i have so much against the FOBs is that they themselves are pretty racist. By this i mean, they DO NOT MIX with anyone but themselves. This is really annoying and slightly embarassing for ABCs or BBCs ( like myself) who go out of our way to make effort to mix around with everyone and assimilate into Western society.

I am not advocating that these people totally lose their culture,as i too, am proud of my Asian culture. But they should at least make an effort to socialise with other people, rather than their own. I would have no problems dating an ABC/BBC as they are the same as me, but i could never date an FOB for this very reason, that they have different values to me and are into nerdy Asian things like: Asian karaoke,speaking Canto real loud, dressing weird clothes, etc and real different to me

2. So theres all this debate about Asian girls and ugly white guys.

My opinion is that if youre 'minging' ( means: 'ugly' in London slang) then you're minging! What i mean is if you're ugly, not matter what race you are,( Asian or white) then you are going to have a hard time finding someone. ( unless you are rich or really good personality)

If you are hot, no matter what race you are, then you are hot and chances are, you have your pick of anyone. I know this is a generalisation but i hope you get my drift.

For example, in London, ive seen a few Asian girls with white boys, they are totally minging- fat, nerdy asians with glasses, and their boyfriends are B-grade ugly white boys. Ugly meets ugly. You know what im sayin?

My best friend is half Indian half white and hes gorgeous. He has his pick of anyone: White, Oriental, Indian period.

Im not exactly Lucy Liu, but my boyfriends have been decent. I aint going out with an ugly white guy, or an ugly guy no matter what colour he is and i cant understand why those Asian girls are with ugly white boy geezers. If its to do with 'being cool' and rebellious, then its their stupidity!

I mean, if i had a choice between a good looking Asian guy and a totally minging white guy id go for the Asian guy period. I live in a society where there aint many Orientals around- mainly Indians, Carribeans and whites so i havent had much of the chance but there are a lot of decent Asian guys in the States and Canada im sure. If i met someone like James Hahn from Linkin Park id be there in a flash.

What im saying is that Asian girls shouldnt go out with white guys just cos they are white, but should choose someone who is attractive in their eyes, whether they be Asian, white, black whatever. From what ive seen on TV, theres a lot of cute Asian guys in the States. (esp. Korean guys). Get a grip girls and get some standards!

3. There also seems to be a bit of slagging of AM who go out with WF or AF who date WM. My philosophy is 'do what you want to do and have fun' when you're young, as long as you're not a total traitor and whitewash.

My parents are British- Chinese and Im a second gen British Chinese. My Dad went out with a girl from Carribeans Barbados before he met my mother and married her. I have seen photos of her snd they made a good looking couple- my Dad being 5 foot 11 and preferring tall, longlegged women, like his ex. To this day, my Dad still appreciates the beauty in black women and men and i take after him.

Theres so many decent people of different colours that sometimes its culturally enriching being with someone who is different to yourself anyways. If a male friend of mine who is Asian dates a white girl, i dont get all defensive, instead i say to him 'go for it'. If two people like each other, then who cares? I, myself have a 'thing' for Anglo -Indians ( half Indian half white) and mulatos ( half black half white) although my serious boyfriends have all been white. As long as you KNOW YOURSELF, and dont lose track of who you are ( ie. black hair, slanty eyed Asian) then theres nothing wrong with having a bit of fun here and there.

4. Lastly, someone commented that they are 'proud to be American but they retain their Asian culture.' I guess for him and people like me, you are stuck in two worlds. Im too Asian to be British but too British to be 'Asian' if you know what i mean.

For people like us its a struggle between two cultures and sometimes fittting in is a pain in the ass. I have often found that my boyfriends are either too 'white' and they dont understand my culture or too 'Asian' and they are too conservative and boring for me. In the end, its compromising, finding a common ground, knowing your common interests and finding what you share in common, with the other person, regardless of race. For myself, im a trainee solicitor (attorney), passionate about hiphop music, playing and watching rugby union, and travelling the world and hopefully the person i want to spend the rest of my life with, ( regardless of his colour) has these common interests as me.

Jade.

jadechow jadechow77@hotmail.com

well done on all counts
reneburau reneburau@adelphia.net

learn your native tongue, in Europe and the rest of the world, everyone can speak 3 or 4 languages, people are lazy, you will always be an "Asian" to Americans, and an "American" to Asians unless you can speak well
Truth

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