What Women Want on a First Date | Asian American Poll

WHAT WOMEN WANT ON A FIRST DATE
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:19:53 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are a woman, which most closely matches your idea of a great first date?
Coffee and Conversation | 51%
Picnic in the Country | 3%
Brunch and Tennis | 1%
Dinner and Movie | 45%

Assuming you are a woman, which gesture by your date would you most welcome?
Brings flowers or candy | 2%
Arrives precisely on time | 72%
Compliments your appearance | 9%
Calls the next morning | 17%

Assuming you are a woman, what's the worst mistake a guy can make on a first date?
Showing up late | 5%
Showing up badly dressed/groomed | 7%
Hogging the conversation | 3%
Making a premature sexual advance | 85%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Guys kind of tend to get too stiff and formal on the first date, unless you've been friends with them for a while first. They try so hard to look nice and be slick and end up looking like silly asses sometimes...my advice is that they loosen up, but not get frisky with the girl ahead of time. The last thing you want when you're lost in an engrossing part of a movie is having some lug's big hand resting on your breast.
I like it when a guy doesn't bring you cheesy flowers or a box of $1.99 Snoopy boxed chocolates, but rather something original, or even nothing at all. A boyfriend once made me something by hand for my birthday and I fell in love with him right then and there.
But most of all, for me, I enjoy good conversation, and, when I'm ready and willing, MAKIN' OUT! I never have sex on a first date, but I just might let it get that close...
Sena, the often horny sex bomb who loves to ride d*ck!

Dude, Mia is a friggin' FOB...

WTF does "GOO BYE" mean?
FOB-killa

Sympathy,
Thanks for the definition of
.

If the defined set is asian american saying that you're 100% asian american is valid. Reciprocity argument also valid. If the young lady is bored she's just as responsible. There are plenty of things to do on a friday night - throw a party, drive to Canada for Canadian bacon the next morning, art shows, batting cages/golf range, camping up north, theater, etc. Also, Internet thrives b/c there is no expectation of contrived politeness. Mia and Bratty Man. FIGHT!FIGHT!

Best first date = good talk, a sense of ease in the company. If there are really inept guys out there, just match the girl's tone of conversation (cadences, how she emphasizes certain words, etc). Eye contact, but blink a bit more than you usually would, o.w. your look turns sketchy [subtext: you look like a raging horndog] A person tends to blink less in stressful situations. DON'T write up a list of what to talk about. It's all about give and take, turn taking.

Did the poll say anything about kissing? Well, of course, kissing yes, any hint of groping definitely no on a first date. Reciprocity. You give her a kiss, she kisses back, if she throws in her tongue, what the hell, throw in a tongue. Figure it out but DON'T let your hands wander anywhere off her back, saucy boy. Polls usually mean erring on the side of general human behavior (caution apparently in this case), especially if you had a great first date. Use discretion. Also,I'd JUST ASK if it's okay. I totally love that. It nukes me. If you pause a little and ask if it's okay (wherever you're at, whether nowhere or past initial kissing) then girl knows you'd like to kiss her g'night/do more. Start doing whatever will get you to your prime obejective slowly and if girl responds negatively, you've got your answer. Oh, don't try at that again in the same sitting/standing if you've gotten a negative. Get the hint. This means that even if you were kissing and you've resumed kissing AND you THINK the kissing has escalated, girl said NO. Find a good pause then and just leave b/c you aren't going anywhere else for the night. Be polite.

Also, the question's all in the delivery, not too rigid, not too imposing, lean in a bit and just ask like you really want to know. If you're a healthy, normal male you've been rejected a million times. What's one more??? It can work like magic sometimes, as one gal pal told me while blushing madly. If she says no, then no. You've really got nothing to lose, girl's flattered and you've greased the wheels for a next date.

That's what I think about first dates, Well, at least the bare structure of a first date. It's colder than I meant it to be. Also, I don't kiss on the first date but I was thinking first attempts at anything still applies to this column.

PS. I don't think BrattyMan meant all 20 somethings are bratty, merely saying that if it's a legit category then she's in it. Of course, young AF gals are out there: beautiful, funny, sophisticated. Stetson babe, etc. . . AND Asian Male if you're going to parse hairs a person leeches or leeched, one who acts in the manner of leeching is a not a letch though, as a letch has only a sexual connotation. Such a person's actually better described as a sponger or freeloader. You probably knew that as indicated by the "" around the fictional word leetch.
sympathy (who is also in her early 20s)

Which is worse: a premature sexual advance or a premature ejaculation during a sexual advance?

Hee Hee Hee
Horny Asian Dude

Now that the criteria are known, can anyone tell me where to find these women?

I'm new to SF and busy with a new job. Where do nice asian american women go to find nice guys like me?

David, Korean 28 dgb1972@yahoo.com

When it comes to making a premature sexual advance you have to think carefully. Come on guys! Are we really that hard to read? You should be able to know if we will accept or deter your come-ons. And if you guys are that horny before a date I suggest a little "private time" to relax yourself.

AzN fEmMe

When a man is late, it tells you he doesn't respect my time. If it's going to last, he has to respect all of me. Of course, there could be a good reason, but on a first date, it better be pretty serious.

Jiminy Cricket

To (Readers) and Asian Dude,
With all due respect to Asian Dude (100% Asian American? 100% A & B = 50%A + 50%B? Technically, Asian American is just a name/label and can never be measured in terms of quantities.), but I think you have gotten your ego blown way too large, especially with the help of Stetson Babe.
No one says that kissing is NOT ok. It seems that you have never gotten an answer to your question "Does that include making the first move and kissing her..." and just went off to ASSUME that kissing is a "premature sexual advance" and went mad! "Premature sexual advance" is "... to slide my hand down your panties on the first date..."
Asian Dude, so pretty much you are just argueing among yourself because you agree that 'premature sexual advance' deserves a slap. "I mean I'd understand if you slapped me if I tried to slide my hand down your panties on the first date"
I have gone on several first dates and have given long goodnight kisses that was never taken to be "premature sexual advance" , not even by 20 year olds. Maybe because like you said, my hands were not sliding anywhere.

P.s- I met a 19 year old that was very articulate and successful in terms of education, manners, and class. She might even surpass many 25 year olds male. Funny thing is that she financially supports her older ex-asian boyfriend who does not have a job. Sometimes I wonder how she "leetch" off her ex-boyfriend.
Just my narrow opinion. AsianMale.

I love portugese girls, especially the short ones, with long curly, brown hair.
nick N_I_C_K@yahoo.com

When a man is late it makes me anxious
Caucasian/am

To An Asian Dude

Thanks for asking ,I do speak English everyday but yeah there are other languages that I can also speak (why limit yourself!).

Sorry to hear that you aren't getting any but that is not so bad because you still got your hand (something come in hand)

GOO BYE
Mia

Are you sure you are asian guys..?

If yes..where are all your respect and moral.
I am not a full blood asian girl , though can't help but to question "Are you Gay?"
or someone who just give alot of his energy into tring hard to give all asian female a bad name.
I can see that not all people give out negative information so you can not convice me otherwise to agree w/ your negative comments.
YOU SUCK!! GUYS.
Mia :)

Stetson Babe,

Sorry babe, but I'm 100% Grade-A Asian American. Sorry, mate (or is that 'lass' ?). =)
A Guy Who Doesn't Date Bratty Little 20 year-olds

I'm surprised that 85% of AA women would be offended by a premature sexual advance. Does that include making the first move and kissing her? I'm a firm believer that if a girl is interested in a man, she will at least let him kiss her, unless she is a total tightwad. What's the big deal with kissing? I'm sure that's okay with you ladies, right? I mean I'd understand if you slapped me if I tried to slide my hand down your panties on the first date, but kissing and necking? COME ON!
An Asian Dude

Mia,

Learn how to spell. Do you speek-a any Engleesh?
An Asian Dude

Mia,

All the comments by other people demonstrate otherwise. "Sad personality" my ass, lady. I am a man of principles and I will stand by my beliefs no matter what you say.
A (Korean American) Guy Who Doesn't Date Bratty Little 20 Year olds.

Hey-A guy who doesn't date bratty little 20 year olds....I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!If you had an aussie accent, I would marry you! Why don't more guys think like that?! I hate it when guys hang all over their girlfriends, and I don't see why people think girls should do it to guys! ~*Smooch*~
Stetson Babe

     To a guy who doesn't date 20 year-olds-gal.
     First you have a very sad personality. May be you try to get your point across but in a very affended way. I don't know who would be happy with the bitter man w/ no respect for women such as yourself.
     May be grow up and be nice might help with dating a more mature women...Right?.
Mia/

     My perfect first date could be anything from a nice day out to the beach to Going to the movie.
     My guy take me Bush walk : ) now that was a surprise since he'd always stuck to his computer.
     Nothing better than a joker who don't know how to be series :)....
Mia/22

YOU GO BOY ! Much props to the "guy who doesn't date 20 yrs primadonnas!" They want respect yet they want to leetch off of us!
I think on a first date women should go "dutch" so that way you would feel obligated to kiss at the end of the date.

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