What Women Want on a First Date | Asian American Poll

WHAT WOMEN WANT ON A FIRST DATE
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:19:52 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are a woman, which most closely matches your idea of a great first date?
Coffee and Conversation | 51%
Picnic in the Country | 3%
Brunch and Tennis | 1%
Dinner and Movie | 45%

Assuming you are a woman, which gesture by your date would you most welcome?
Brings flowers or candy | 2%
Arrives precisely on time | 72%
Compliments your appearance | 9%
Calls the next morning | 17%

Assuming you are a woman, what's the worst mistake a guy can make on a first date?
Showing up late | 5%
Showing up badly dressed/groomed | 7%
Hogging the conversation | 3%
Making a premature sexual advance | 85%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

I just got a really bad date recently. I took a girl to the Bronx Zoo on a date. We took the subway together from Midtown Manhattan, and it was a big mistake. She and I had never been to the Bronx Zoo before, so we didn't know that it would take sooooo long for the subway to get there because it has to make millions of stops. The train atmosphere made it impossible to conduct a normal get-to-know dating conversation without people hearing us or sometimes starring at us currious. And all other passengers were "working class" (hey, it is the Bronx we're talking about here) and we were the only one who were dressed up. Plus, we were an interacial couple (I'm Asian, she's a blond white). We both felt out of place. It was so awkward. We both ended up not saying anything but "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?". Nothing else to talk about. It was like the longest subway ride I'd ever had. As you may expect, the whole date turned out to be a total disaster. I've learned from my lesson though. Next time when I go on a date, I'll make sure all the "logistics" are carried out in such a way so it doesn't ruin the mood, which is probably the single most important thing of a date. I'll take a cab.

bronx tiger

This is a great first date for me:
go to see a movie/show and have some coffee/dessert/drinks(he would pay) afterwards and talk about what you just saw. This is a great way to sort of learn about each other--you can find out what they think about things, see what attitudes each of you has about whatever, and it's fun.

It feels more like a date if he pays, and I only offer to pay if I am not interested in being anything but friends. Do you think this is cheap?
aa girl

yes, I totally agree w 19 yr old wf:
If you can't tell from the way the girl is behaving during the date, just ask her what her limits are.
I also think it's better to be more respectful than less. But I guess it depends on the girl --I know I'm pretty prudish.
nervous nellie

My worst date was a guy who took me to play pool, and a walk in the park late at night. Sound bad? Of course not! That was great until he said, "I'm so horny." LOL... I told him I couldn't help him with that. The date ended shortly after.

The best date I had was going to a local bookstore at about midnight for a Chai and good conversation.

On any date, I always ask to go dutch and split the bill. I don't see why men are the ones who always get stuck with the bill. Unless a man says he doesn't believe in a woman paying, I'll always make the option open. This is especially true if I ask HIM out. "Hey, you wanna go out tonight? My treat..."-- I think it's only fair :)

Personally, I don't understand why men show up with gifts. It's a thoughtful gesture, but it really isn't neccesary. If I'm dating you, it's because I want you. A man doesn't have to buy my affection.

Height has been a part of this discussion. I don't care how tall a man is. I'm 5'3", so on average, most guys are at least my height or taller.

Someone asked what is considered a sexually forward move. Well, for me, it would be a man who assumes he can place his hands anywhere he wanted. Hug me, kiss me, hold me all you want, but save something for later!

If you don't know what a girl's limits are...just ask her!

19 year old, white female

Men who make advances on the first date just show that they are not interested in you as a person. If they do not make an effort to get to know you, they are not worth your time...unless you are after the same thing :)
19 year old, white girl

My first date with my ex-boyfriend was awesome! We didn't kiss or anything. We just held hands and walked around Georgetown for a while. He didn't even look at other people while we together, that's how into me he was and it made me feel wonderful. At the end he gave me a hug and told me he'd call me and he did.

I swear that was the best date of my life. Sexual advances are fine to me, a little kissing and groping never hurts anyone (Unless you have an uber guilty conscience) but I'd love to find another guy who can be as simple and lovely as that. (At least that's how it was at first)

PS. He's my ex because he was a jerk in the end.
Listless Searching

Hmm...

Intersting how sexual advances on a frist date bother the ladies so much. I've found that when the woman likes you (i.e is strongly attracted to you), she will actually LIKE it if you start kissing her, necking her, and even cop a feel (upstairs or downstairs). All this "oh, I feel objectified" stuff is such crap. I've gone to 2nd base on a first date with a "christian girl", and I probably could've gone all the way becuase she was really getting into it. I stopped the whole thing because I actually liked and respected the girl. Otherwise I would've slept with her right then.
Korean Boy

I can't stand guys making premature sexual advances. If it's the first date, don't hound the poor girl for kisses! Maybe she'll kiss you just to make you stop pressuring her. But it's the first date, and things shouldn't be moving too quickly (as in making out). Let her make a move on YOU (guys), don't continue to advance when she doesn't signal a desire to do something.
China girl

This is how my man described how our first would be like...
...it's a warm summer evening on Lake Shore Drive downtown Chicago...you and I are walking down the beach barefoot, hand in hand....I look into those gorgeous brown eyes and see the stars in the sky reflecting out of them, even though they could never match the sparkle of your own eyes....we sit on the beach, and I unpack the picnic basket I inexplicably had hidden the whole time...;).....I take out two plates....silverware...silk napkins....and the pasta primavera I made this morning...I take some in the fork, and motion for you to open your mouth...I slowly place it in your mouth as you taste it.....a little bit of marinara sauce gets on the corner of your mouth, and I lean in...and kiss it away....I look at you, and place my arm around you, as we look at the moon over the lake....
Only a true romantic aspires to such a creative level in the game known as courtship.

An unforgettable moment in time..... little_lisa21@hotmail.com

The worst thing in a first date is a sexual advance.
elena

To all the asian ladies here,

What is a premature sexual advance for you?

Fil Guy 19

I just wanted to tell my best date, which was recently. My currently boyfriend (we just got together about two weeks ago) is someone I've been friends with for a little over 3 years. He's a wonderful man, someone that I've been wanting to be with for a long time, but there were a few things to work out, such as his concern over our age difference, and the distance that separates us. Anyway, I went out for a visit and we talked about taking our friendship to the next level. One day while I was there, he took me to the beach (California) and we just walked around, holding hands, talking and just laughing, visiting the little shops and watching the people perform on the sidewalks, etc. We stayed until the sunset, sitting cuddled together (it was beginning to get a little cooler--it's not like the south), and kissed softly, kind of laughing, just as the last ray of sunlight dipped behind the mountain. Afterwards, we went to a tiny Japanese restuarant (I think it was called Japan or New Japan), and ate, laughing over events and stories of our past . . . everything from work and family. It was so refreshing to see him that way, because we do live in two different states, so it's not like we see each other that way often. He was himself, and I was myself. We ate so much Asian food, that my chopsticks skills have vastly improved (he's Chinese, and I think he appreciates my effort, just as I appreciated his patience). And what was even better was his amazement in my telling him thank you for such a lovely day, because he was like, all we did was go to the beach. But to me, it was wonderful and simple, and that's what I enjoyed most. Remember guys, sometimes it's the simple things, not the extravagent things, that can win a girl's heart.
lilli98 lilli98@collegeclub.com

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