What Men Want on a First Date | Asian American Poll

WHAT MEN WANT ON A FIRST DATE
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:19:45 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are a man, which most closely matches your idea of a great first date?
Coffee and Conversation | 45%
Picnic in the Country | 7%
Brunch and Tennis | 2%
Dinner and Movie | 46%

Assuming you are a man, which gesture by your date would you most welcome?
Wears something extra nice | 39%
Arrives precisely on time | 9%
Compliments your appearance | 1%
Invites you up for coffee | 51%

Assuming you are a man, what's the worst mistake a girl can make on a first date?
Showing up late | 10%
Showing up badly dressed/groomed | 81%
Hogging the conversation | 4%
Brushing off your sexual advance | 5%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

The ideal first date would be like meeting an old friend for the first time. A long focused conversation from which we both learn new insights and ideas, which we struggle to write down on napkins, receipts, palms, etc. Brushing her hair for hours and hours and hours while we talk and think and sing and laugh hysterically. Conversation ratcheting up to ever higher layers of honesty. Confronting each others illusions accurately. No flirtation or innuendo yet no doubt of strong mutual attraction. Overwhelming mutual feelings of: you're not one in a million, there's only one of you. She feeling free to initiate spontaneous affection, and zero worries when I don't. A long tender whispery good-night hug. The perfect first date would crack open a huge glorious door, not just stick junk mail into the slot...
Hobart (non-asian) hobart@well.com Monday, September 24, 2001 at 04:16:10 (PDT)

Linda:

Your point is?

You ought to be flattered if many men find you so physically attractive that they want to touch you, to kiss you and to make love with you.

Random Guy Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 08:32:33 (PDT)

Life is short. Live well, live long.

Wes asclepius01@hotmail.com Sunday, September 02, 2001 at 19:55:47 (PDT)

To Linda,
I agree with you. But why should I feel guilty about it?
I'm not perfect. I think you are right about ME, though. I don't know about other guys.
K.Hanya Friday, August 24, 2001 at 04:35:21 (PDT)

The lady should pay her share when going out to dinner or the movies. I am sick and tired of taking girls out and treating them because it's customary for the MAN to pay!! I really don't mind ONLY when the lady hooks up with me for GOOD SEX!! It doesn't have to be the same day but isn't that what the goal is about 98% of the time??
Luvs to have sex!! Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 01:26:14 (PDT)

Linda:
I totally agreed, honey chile. I totally envy girls who do it on the first date. I JUST CAN'T. Catholic guilt or something, am I Catholic? *sigh!* I can't wait til I'm sexually liberated enough to rollick around (-using-the-appropriate-materials-located in-the-overhead-compartment)

Romantic AM:
Angola, Angola, Angola - a lush green place seems more appropriate to start off an engagement, than the dusty serengetti? Balloon rides anywhere are lovely though, except maybe where there are a lot of spiky buildings or pine trees.
sympathy Tuesday, August 21, 2001 at 15:58:00 (PDT)

ALL MEN WANT IS:

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

All men want is sex! thats all they can think about on the first date is try to get in your pants! i havent met a guy who didnt try to kiss me and touch me on the first date! this is not about Asian men! ALLLLLL MEN WANT IS

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Linda Tuesday, August 21, 2001 at 02:56:13 (PDT)

I would be SO stoked to get a kiss on the first date. That is the best. Anymore, and it's moving too quick -- you get all weird and awkward later on. I made that mistake by making out and necking with a girl on the first date, and she acted very childish and got weird about it. A short french-kiss at the end of the date is as far as I am willing to take it from now on, unless my intention is solely to get ass -- coz then I'd work my magic, believe it.
Some Korean Dood Thursday, August 16, 2001 at 01:01:41 (PDT)

Come on, you KNOW what men wan't on a date...
Mr.D dearmondz001@hawaii.rr.com Friday, August 10, 2001 at 00:37:26 (PDT)

I am a 15 yr. old asian younge adult and when I go out on dates I like my girl friend to be neat and spiffy but it really does'nt matter to me I love them even if they don't
asian ladies man Friday, July 27, 2001 at 11:34:43 (PDT)

Curious:

1. Yes that is a bad sign. After a few months of dating, the lady should offer to pay. We are living in an equal equal society right? However, don't expect her to ride your ding dong as a replacement for paying.

2. Cheap places: you've got tons of that in America (i.e. fast foods)! That's why obesity rate is so high. Anyhow, a nice cheap way to feed your date, at the same time romantic as well is: go to the supermarket and learn how to cook. Not Top Ramen, but real food. That will surely win her heart! (It's cheaper, inexpensive, and is more than enough to feed 2 ppl). Unless if you go the other route & decide for Mac D's, then you guys will surely have Big Macasses like majority of Americans.
My Imput! SesameStreet@home.com Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 22:05:45 (PDT)

Now who should pay for the date? I think it's pretty much accepted that the guy pays the first few dates, the first date for sure. I've had several relationships in the past, and after a while I was tired of paying for the date. So I have a few questions:

1. After a few months or so of dating, should the lady start to offer to pay something for dinner? If not, is that a bad sign necessarily? Does the guy always have to pay?

2. What are some good cheap date ideas? A nice restaurant is good the first few dates, but after a while it adds up (hey, not all of us are dot com gazillionaires).
curious Wednesday, July 25, 2001 at 19:34:41 (PDT)

Whoa, what is it with the "must be a slut" attitude about women who sleep with you the first date, especially if you've been friends or coworkers long enough for her to have some idea of what you're like? I guess it never crossed your mind that grown women might know what they want, or that a sexually groovy lady might also know how to love.

Wear the lid till you've both been tested, but man! Loosen up a little.
lady writer. Friday, July 13, 2001 at 23:05:24 (PDT)

A movie, chat, then sex doggy style.
woof woof Monday, July 09, 2001 at 10:08:39 (PDT)

Actually to help me out, I bring a list of things to say or ask in case the conversation hits a brick wall. Run to the bathroom or where ever, it's stupid but it works. I've done it once, and a girl wrote it for me, there's no shame in it.

Friends, meet her friends, she meets yours. I mean real friends. And you don't have to be popular and shake everyone's hands.

I love to wrestle with girls, it's so much fun. A little physical is a good thing. Tests the compatibility of two people. But it never got me laid, just more horny. But it's so much fun.

Obviously all guys want sex. But if you show you're attracted, EYE CONTACT, but not too much, and can control your hormones, you've giving good attention.

The art of dating thing was a joke, I wouldn't take advantage of a good frienship, no way. But if this is a girl I liked...I'd rather be her lover.
But I wouldn't lie to achieve this.

The one thing about some Asian ladies, when you first see them, they do look at you, they're unexpressive. Does she like me? I wonder, or she's shy? Just a little hint, please.
Johnny Yang. Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 16:59:42 (PDT)

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