Best & Worst of Dating Asians | Asian American Poll

GOLDSEA | ASIAMS.NET | ASIAN AMERICAN POLL

BEST & WORST OF DATING ASIANS
(Updated 10/23/00 to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

What's the best thing about dating an Asian?
Laughing together over funny and bizarre incidents encountered by Asians. | 51%
Knowing your date isn't confusing your personality with racial stereotypes. | 24%
Not having to give long historical discourses to explain your background. | 5%
Not being suspected of being fixated on blondes. | 6%
Enjoying the tacit approval of family. | 14%

What's the worst thing about dating an Asian?
Wondering whether your date likes you or your background. | 17%
Raising family expectations of marriage. | 18%
Being thought to harbor conservative ideas about love and marriage. | 10%
Coping with Asian conservatism toward premarital sex. | 11%
Being dragged into yet another Asian gossip circle. | 23%
Possibility of the family disapproving of the relationship. | 21%

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I am a 20 year old chinese female who dated an chinese guy for three years. I have only dated asian men in my life (two plus my x boyfriend) I never did anything that would make him jealous, but he was. He was constantly jealous of any man who even looked at me. But he also like the way I looked. For about the last year of the relationship. I could not wear a mini skirt, he tried to tell me what make up to wear, where I could go when I wasn't with him. In the end I could not take it anymore. We broke up and that was that.
I met a man a couple of months later through a girl friend who is also chinese. She is dating a white man. She introduced me to to one of his friends, a white man.
It take a little while to get use to it. White men are so different. I mean I see white men before, but never in that way. He is so big, very muscular, and well just many difference. But he has great sense of humor, treats me so very good and is the best lover...
I cant talk for anyone but me. But I have never been more happy. What a difference!!! not just with my x, but with all the asian men I dated.
My x came back after I had been dating this man for a few months and tried to get back with me. I just tell him forget it, I am in love with this man now move on with your life.
We are going to be married around chinese new year and I could never be more happy. So I dont care what anyone say, this is for me. --Dorothy

Caucasion male,
why don't you just dump your Corean girlfriend if she makes you unhappy, unless you get off on abuse. --Chink Gurl

I am very attracted to Asian women's physical traits, but unless they are Americanized, I find that their temperments are a pain in the ass, as the white male w/ the Korean girlfriend mentioned. The white girls I've dated and some Americanized Asian girls I've dated have more pleasant personalities. -- Korean Male, 19

Love it!!!!!!!! That's only truth in there --Joseph Yong

My Chinese boyfriend and I just recently ended our relationship. I loved being with him; he was the best boyfriend, so far, I've ever had. I've had other boyfriends of other races/ethnicity/nationality whatever you wish to use, such as white, black (both Americans), indian (from India), and Chinese (Malaysia). I know a Latino (Columbia) but we don't date, we're just friends. I'd date latino too. If you're wondering, I"m multiracial. The only thing I worried about while dating my chinese boyfriend was his parents' reaction, their disapprove. When we broke up, they were happy, especially his mother. I know he wasn't an American, but he was Asian, and there are a lot of them here that still feel that way--they do not approve of their children. My family didn't care and still don't care what the person I date is. They only want my happiness. I don't care, just as long as I'm happy, that's all that matters. The color of a person's skin is lost--meaningless, to me. But I have to admit, I absolutely love Asian men. It's more than just their physical appearances, but their mental attitude and intellect. Even though things didn't work out, it doesn't mean I won't date another Asian, American or otherwise. I certainly wouldn't mind! Talk about SEXY! hmm, yummy . . . ! --multi-racial, 20 yr old female/lilli98@collegeclub.com/some traditions are meant to be broken.

My Girlfriend is Corean. She's always in a bad mood or angry. --Caucasian Male / 27

i can't seem to find the right asian guy. i had two boyfriends before and i don't think i really ever loved them. now i stopped looking for love, and am looking for money now.

white rice, that is really funny hahhaha...

I dated white, mexican, white in highschool and man where they intimate. But I noticed once in my life a fine asian girl. I sought meanging.. 2 months with whites as opposed to 9 months+ with asian. My brother did the oppostite and dated asian and didn't last. He wasn't happy but he now dates a white girl and their pretty busy in their rooms everynight.. I guess he's happy now. Its all good. Besides, everyone came from Asia (including white people.. historical background: europe connected to Asia, first map-makers were european and arrogant so separated map from asia.. u know the rest).

I acknowledge it may not apply to any or all couples... just a blunt observation, but I see Caucasian males "converted" to date/marry asian females are similair to that of an Asian male. My theory: White dates white and has sex => Too much sex => gets bored since relationship has rarely any meaning => in the end wants an Asian female for relationship since she is different and unique and can establish meaningful relatioship. However, this would be the same with Asian males. Asian males (remember, my BLUNT theory) date asian females in the beginning and he has no sex. It starts with long relationship, he gets bored and so does the asian female.. their pretty much predictable. Asian male is horny cause he had no sex, he goes to white female and vice versa.... outcome is 10,000's Brandon Lee.
Note: my statement is only a personal observation and may or maynot apply to anything --20, White rice (asian/caucasion male) TX

People have different personalites, and personality is what counts, not skin color. Why do we need to date only certain groups? Such as people focusing on dating whites, African-Americans or Asian-Americans? There shouldn't be stereotypes about how "hot" or attractive certain groups are. One group shouldn't need to be seen as better or more attractive than another. I believe personality is most in relationships, not their skin color or race. --an asian-american

To Kimba the whore : stop screwing around with someone else's husband. IT will come back to YOu one day, and one day YOUR husband will have an affair with another woman, because what goes around comes around.

I like dating people of all races but sometimes I get lonely and cry --Lonely Wandering Giant

Having been attracted to Asian men for a long time I was in alt when I had the opportunity to date AMs from many cultures (Vientamense, Korean, Chinese and Japanese). I was disappointed because I generally ended up feeling like I was being dated because I am short and have blue eyes. I admit that I dated them at first because of their appearances (I still have a thing for AMs especially Jet Li and Chow Yong Fat), but after the first date there had to be something behind those sexy, exotic features to support a continued relationship. On the other hand, in most cases I continued to feel like I was being dated for my caucasion features even after knowing each gentleman for months. In some cases I was told that they just couldn't bring himself to introduce me to their parents. Im not some buxom, blond, bimbo with no couth, manners or intelligence and I wasn't expecting to be introduced as the future Mrs so-and-so. I also never had a problem introducing these gentlemen to my parents and friends as the gentleman I was dating at that time. Other gentlemen were all to willing to introduce me to AM friends, but not to their female friends.
My entire experience hasn't soured my view. I've had a few relationships which Asian Men that didn't follow this familiar path, they just faded into close friendships as did many relationships with caucasian gentlemen.
I've ended up happily married to a very attractive caucasian man who appreciates me for my personality as much as for my blue eys.
If I may add an additional personal note, I really resent the majority of the entries that I see here depicting white women as money grubbing hussies. These entries (many made by white women) are as culturally biasing against white women who date Asian men as the bigotry that you are fighting. I mean the women who only talk about the money Asian men spend on them or how horny they are. If I may provide some less than literary input...YUCK!!! This attitude really turns my stomach inside out. I think it deserves another YUCK!!! How would you like to walk down the street and have people assume that you are dating guy because you want to shock your parents or because he buys you stuff. My parents were no problem, but I was conscious enough of the attitude that white women date Asian men for the presents that I turned down very honest and thoughtful gifts because I didn't want my boyfriends to think this was why I dated them. I give my heart where my heart belongs, not where the wallet leads. I've never been sorry I stuck to this
I will always have a place in my..heart for Asian men, but I just don't have the patience to deal with the work it takes from both sides to slowly break down the cultural difficulties. --Somewhat saddened by what I see

To the scottish american man who said
" I cannot stop in the middle of meetings to call her from work to "prove my love".(Usually it is wrong to call family from work, right?) "....well, NO you CAN stop in the middle of meetings to call family members. In fact you should do that more often if u wanna keep your lady

To Asian male, 20 : I know how you feel, when I go out with my asian boyfriend, I always wonder if he secretly lusts after white girls or other races......I, however, do not secretly lust after anything except for the ones I date---Asian men. --18/Asian fem.

Sometimes the stereotypes are funny because they reflect accurately on idiosyncracies of Asian/American life. Some of them could only have been noticed by a non-Asian person in a relationship with an Asian person, and that is even funnier.
My wife has accepted that while I have a preference for Asian women, it is not a face that keeps my interest. She doesn't seem bothered by my friendships with other Asian women, but she is absolutely clear that there are limits that cannot be crossed. I find this liberating, because I don't have any real interest in being unfaithful to my wife. I just want to be able to freely pursue the friendships that I find most comfortable. I don't feel that the American women I have had relationships with could have easily accepted non-marital relationships but also stated limits. My understanding is that Asian women are often very firm in delaring what they expect from a marraige, although they give the appearance of being more docile. I find that kind of directness from my wife to be a real asset to our marraige. Maybe other Asian women are different, but my wife explains this quality as a product of her cultural experience. I've heard the same from other couples.
Is there something wrong with me for desiring the company and approval of Asian women? I used to think so, but now I don't view it differently than any other preference. My wife accepts me, and as long as I don't violate her trust she will continue to do so. She is devoted to me, but only to the best of me. She does not tell me what to do or who to be, but she is very firm that I must live up to the goals that I set for myself.

Dating: You are in America now...not in Asia...you love or marry who you want..white, black, or...us American's are a mix of Europeans...
thats the way it is here..a mix....marry who you want...

I have had the pleasure of dating other cultures asian to african amer. as I'm Caucasian-Am male the most difficult thing is finding quality women to date. That are APPROACHABLE!! people of what ever color can make a relationship that much more special, so the right one comes along and you are the right one too enjoy what an asian women can give you. Even being Caucasian-Am male i am still looking for my asian sweetheart. --nutdrill@hotmail.com

When I go out with an Asian girl, I can't tell if she secretly lusts after white guys, that is, if she prefers other men over me, and is just using me for the convenience. Maybe I"m being paranoid, but hey if it happened to any Asian man, he would be devastated, I'm sure. --Asian male, 20

Getting the Asian side's acceptance. When my wife's parents (Korean) found out their precious daughter was dating a caucasian (me), they went through the roof. Everything from wanting to pull her out of college to trying to forbidding her to see me (how do you ground a 19 year old?) Her mother finally learned to accept me, but her father never truly did...until he was on his deathbed, dying of stomach cancer. And unfortunately for him, two of my wife's sisters also ended up marrying caucasians. Conversely, my super conservative republican parents and family fully accepted my Korean wife. Now my brother is married to a wonderful lady from Guam.

I'm dating a married asian whose wife doesn't seem to care where he is or who he's with. It's great sex, but I always feel second best. If he likes me so much, why doesn't he get a divorce? Just because Asians frown on divorce, that's no reason to stay in a marriage that isn't a marriage anymore. --Kimba - Corean-American

i generally adore asian american men. however, i think there is a difference in their attitudes and way of lives among different nationalities of asian men. according to my experience, korean men seem to be very horny and a little bit too aggressive. chinese men are too americanized and cheap, vietnamese guys are very sweet and generous but a little bit too obsessed. but above all, they are just very horny....all of them! ( i dont know about japanese guys or any other nationality). haha --20, Jesselyn, asian american female.

asian men are best to date cuz they aren't cheap in the relationship, they constantly buy me gifts and always take me out to eat....and they treat me very well...and of course i tret them good too. Bad thing is, asian men are picky but that is ok, cuz most of them pick me anyway, hahahah. --Jane, 19

One of the best things about dating an Asian is that they are able to relate to racism due to also being a minority, and being able to learn from and about a different culture. The worst thing about dating an Asian is that some are very clannish and will act like they are ashamed to even know you if other Asians come around. Plus there are some Asians who give in to racial stereotypes of other races, which is something I don't understand since Asian cultures also fall prey to racist stereotypes. My race as often been the factor that has kept some Asian women from even considering a decent man. --African / Native American

Umm...everything is I find most asian this and white people that...hey stupid nuts, stop assuming or generalizing base on your own pathethic experiences

All ladies of different asian ethnic background have varies perspective on how they view their counterpart based on what they see in TV, movies and the family attitude. There will come a time when their point of view will be challenged and tested in the face of what their current interaction. Hopefully, by that time, they will be wise and mature enough to clarify their posture and idea to enable them to meet and select the prospective mate for life. But don't loose the REAL purpose of having fun through out your quest for life --100% vietMan

I wonder if there are any Asian women out there who would give other races a chance. I'm a African-American male who love Aisan women but it seems to me that they won't give no one a chance unless they are Asian or Caucasian. Why is that? People should look at what a person has to offer on the inside not just because of what is on the outside. --African-American/willamP2@excite.com

The best thing about dating my asian girlfriend is her devotion. This also lends itself to a problem.
I cannot be by her side every minute holing her hand.
I cannot stop in the middle of meetings to call her from work to "prove my love".(Usually it is wrong to call family from work, right?)
She is extra special, but we all must create our own self esteem, and not be 100% reliant on our partners all the time.(Unless you are married or engaged to be.) The talking in foriegn toungue is ok(I speak spanish), but she does it for many hours straight, rarely noticing that I might be intersted in the subject.
-oh well these are minor things and not that bad. --Scottish-American

The best thing about dating, and now being married to, an Asian-American womanis that it's never boring. There is always something new to learn (dealing with in-laws, etc.) The worst part is when people who look like me (Anglo-American) treat her or our children differently, particularly when I'm not present. This has happened in restaurants and other service-type locations. --Anglo-American (mutt) male

The best thing about dating and now being married to an *American-Asian* (emphasis added) woman is the cultural similarities, i.e., understanding why I choose to retain and eliminate those traditional Korean values, beliefts, and traditions that I find to be incongruent to my own identity as a 3rd-generation Korean American, err, American Korean, or whatever the reigning P.C. term is now.
My first few girlfriends in high school were Caucasian, as were a few in college. I was always discomforted by some of their families' reactions to (read: disapproval of) us, as well as some whites and fellow Asians when we strolled along the beach, in malls, most anywhere actually. Invariably, the projection that I sensed from them was, "What are you two doing together?" particular when I was with a wealthy, beautiful, blond, blue eyed USC senior. --Shon (40-something KA, err AK, whatever)

i think they're shy and not so aggressive but very romatic inside --prettysarah@35

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