Best & Worst of Dating Asians | Asian American Poll

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BEST & WORST OF DATING ASIANS
(Updated 12/10/00 to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

What's the best thing about dating an Asian?
Laughing together over funny and bizarre incidents encountered by Asians. | 56%
Knowing your date isn't confusing your personality with racial stereotypes. | 23%
Not having to give long historical discourses to explain your background. | 3%
Not being suspected of being fixated on blondes. | 2%
Enjoying the tacit approval of family. | 16%

What's the worst thing about dating an Asian?
Wondering whether your date likes you or your background. | 13%
Raising family expectations of marriage. | 7%
Being thought to harbor conservative ideas about love and marriage. | 12%
Coping with Asian conservatism toward premarital sex. | 21%
Being dragged into yet another Asian gossip circle. | 16%
Possibility of the family disapproving of the relationship. | 31%

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The thing that sucks about dating a Chinese guy is that his family was so easy to believe what others said instead of judging me on who I was or judging me before they even got to know me. Chinese people can be rude. I think deep down inside they wanted him to date a Chinese gal. But, in time, they finally understood you can't order someone to love or date this particular person or race. And in time, they found out how much we truly love each other. Love is blind to race, color, creed, or religion. We've been together for over 6 years!!!!
Viet-Lao

dude..yeah what does it take for an asian guy to have the balls to approach an asian gal..i mean what is everyone so afraid of..or are most asian guys just big snobs? which i don't think is true..is there anything that i can do to make myself more approachable??? i'm an intell./strong/attractive korean gal who seems to only attract preppy white guys..would LOVE to meet some asian guys, i'm open to any advice..cheers!
sereneone

To David(Chicago) I know alot about both my boyfriends chinese and vietnamese heritage. More than any asin in my city in fact. Also I don't think showing respect is demeaning at all. I am planning on sending his mother something for x-mas. I am only nervous because I am a single parent and he is her first-born son. What would be a good gift idea for a wealthy woman who pretty much has everything?
dkb/wf-34

I always worry about asian people looking at me (WF) and my (AM) boyfriend. I have gotten bad looks and even bad comments on how I shouldn't date an asian man from asian people.
I personannly love Asian men...moreso than White men. I also have a problem with my friends thinking i'm weird/crazy for liking them. They have sexy eyes and seem to have more confidence. But maybe those are just the ones i've encountered.
WF/19

hey corean gal 24, did it ever occur to you that the corean guys don't ask you out because they are simply not interested attracted to you? or that they don't look at you because you are not pretty enough . asian guys are more picky than white/blacks. so i've observed.
AF, 20

To Corean Gal 24:
I agree with you there. I wish Corean guys (and asian guys in general) were more aggressive when asking me out...I'd like to know why they take so long after they've been staring for a good 2 hours. That's too bad since I think Corean guys are hot!
Corean Girl, LA

How come this site is mostly about asians dating mostly WHITES? No offense or anything but where I'm from, I see asians with blacks too. I know a lot of them, including myself. I'm the opposite of most ot you--I get the all other raced guys but hardly any white guys. I'm not trying to be judgemental or racist but why whites? There are many others. How come I am different from that stereotype of wanting to be "white". Is it just because of where I am from?
young open one

To DKB...the key to getting on an Asian mother's good side is always to express genuine interest in her Asian culture...learn a few words, learn to write a few, show respect...even if you think it's demeaning...do not act the stereotypical arrogant white girl...and you'll do ok.
David, Chicago

Being an Asian male, it's so much more natural for me to date Asian girls. They are easier to talk to and are generally more attracted to me than white girls. Even though some white girls do show interest, I just feel more comfortable with Asian girls. I see no reason to go that extra mile to date white girls. It's nothing against white girls, just the way I feel. More power to those who are willing to make the effort.
Mr. Natural

I am a little afraid that my boyfriend(AM)'s mother won't approve of me. A (WF) single parent.
dkb/WF-43/dbirlingmair@hotmail.com

I always get asked why I'm not with a Corean guy...well, I'm just perplexed as to why it takes Corean guys a year b4 they ask me out...where as it takes caucasian guys few hours, blk guys...no time at all...
I do believe you guys out there, you know the unpresuming, cool, good looking ones... Could ya please make eye contact...
Corean gal, 24

On a much earlier comment by the 27 y.o. white caucasian male with the Korean girlfriend, he mentioned that his girl friend is always in a bad mood. I'm going to speculate that his gf has self-esteem issues. I've datedan Indian girl who hated being Indian and wanted to be "Asian", as in East Asian. I think it was b/c she had a fetish for Asian guys. I've had a WF friend who hated being white, and always wished to be ethnic, or in her words, "more exotic". They both had terribly tempermental, defensive, insecure, and were generally unpleasant to be around. All because of some serious self-esteem issues. Perhaps your Korean girlfriend desperately wants to be white, and tried to be one to the best way she knew how,, i.e. by dating white males like you. But deep down, she knows that she won't ever BE white. she may pass for that "oriental girl who hangs with white people", but not completely as one of them. I've been down that road before, trying to be accepted as one of them, but I knew deep down that I wasn't. It tore me apart and made the lives of me and my friends a living hell. As I've learned, the only way to date white people is to do it on your own terms. You have to be like, "I am Asian, and so are my ways, you better take it or leave it. I'm not gonna try to be white because of you." Now I have a white girlfriend who doesn't expect me to be white in anyway, and both of us are blissfully happy.

The worst thing was not knowing the exact reason why our seemingly liberal friends were so against it. Would they still be so against it if he were white or I asian?
white girl confused

Asian girls are the best, no question! I never have and never will date a woman who is not Asian!
Hugh, 31, Caucasian male

Asians (at least Chinese) are so damn judgemental. Why can't family, friends, strangers just mind their own business?

When I first came to America for high school on the East Coast, I wanted to date a white girl. I always thought they are very pretty with the big eyes, nice body etc. No offense to other girls but I have to admit that was like my "American Dream." LOL. Anyhow, I never got anywhere. I was shy. I wasn't on any varsity teams. I wasn't tall. The ironic part is I had a lot of close white friends (guys) so I definitely could "mix" with them. The things I did to try to "get" a white girl were laughable. I should have been brave and express myself better in many ways. At least I would have gotten straight answers to my face and a peace of mind. After that, I went to college in California and I have never seen that many Asian people from so many different countries before. Now I know there are very good looking Vietnamnese girls, Corean girls, Japanese girls, Filipino girls. With my personality, I knew I probably would never be able to find a white girlfriend. So then, I started to not think about dating white girls anymore. I decided to date asian girls instead and things are great. Deep down, I still want to date white girls and my girlfriend knows it too.
White-washed FOB

Worst thing... (Everyone calling us John & Yoko.)
Jerry

all the asian guys i know are all (stupid) this guy i like he hate me that sucks!!!!! I wish we didn't live so close 2gether.
Lao Female

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