What AF Want in a Dream AM | Asian American Poll

WHAT AA WOMEN WANT IN A DREAM AM
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:18:56 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an AA female, what would be the personal style of your ideal AA man?
Reserved & Cultured | 8%
Warm & Understanding | 85%
Aggressive & Take-Charge | 7%
Party Animal | 0%

Assuming you are an AA female, what would be the body type of your ideal AA man?
Thin | 1%
Trim | 54%
Sculpted (V-shape) | 45%
Stocky/Heavyset | 0%

Assuming you are an AA female, what would be the height of your ideal AA man?
Short (5-6 or Under) | 0%
Average (5-7 to 5-9) | 51%
Tall (5-10 to 6-1) | 48%
Supertall (6-2 or Above) | 1%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

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chicky poo:
Fearfulness is a natural reaction after you've been burned (I know, I've been there). Maybe this is the time to embrace your fears. Ask yourself what you can do to improve your next relationship (dont worry, there'll be plenty more of this -- great guys do exist, even though sometimes it takes effort to bring out the best in them...haha). At the same time, dont dwell on it. You dont need guys to have fun...go have a blast with your group of girlfriends. Do this, and you may even have a group of guys flirting with ya'll (they are attracted to excitement and mystery).

Have you ever notice the less attention you get, the more you crave for it? Same thing applies to guys. Let them desire you. Ever heard of 'moderation in extremity'? This is true with everything in life, even dating. Care for him, but not too much or too little...or you'll come off as either desperate or uninterested. Treat him with love and respect, but dont give him the option of treating you any less (which means you must believe you do NOT 'need' him).

I dont alway listen to others advices b/c I want to 1) satisfy my curiosity 2) challenge myself 3) b/c I'm stupid (I get so hung up on disproving others, that I dont always follow my intuitions). It doesnt have to be that way though...you can save yourself a lot of misery by learning from others mistakes.

AC Dropout:
"Most girls I've been with will drag me by the ear if they catch me serious flirting with another."
I guess I'm not like most girls. It doesnt bother me to see my bf talking to another girl, but if he was seriously flirting with her... I wont be dragging him by the ear rather, I'll be dragging his ass out of my life. I dont put up with bs.

"But it is okay to tell the guy its gone too far in a not so subtle manner."
Of course we should tell him that, but we dont have to put up with him. I just think when you allow jealousy to become a factor, you lose leverage.

"The 'L' word is so over used in this day and age, it has almost no meaning sometimes. I say judge a person by his actions and deeds and not words."
You're right, the word is overused and we should always judge a person by his actions and deeds (action saids more than words). However, if a guy told me he 'loved' me and barely knows me... I'll be scared shitless, and probaly would have to end the relationship. The reason is b/c 1) he's lieing to himself (there is no way a person can love another w/o knowing them that well) 2) he's too dependant on the relationship 3) his expectations about love are distorted. I need to be accepted for who I am, not what I am nor what he's hoping I would become. I'm assuming guys are scared of commitment for these reasons as well?
be Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 10:17:54 (PDT)

1/2LostSoul,

"A devil’s bargain--a soul for material gains"

That's a poor man's myth. Rockefeller was a extremely religous man and still became the wealthiest person of his time.

Most people I hear expressing views like this in the corporate world is due to the fact the corporate world has a scarcity of resources (i.e. money, executive position, etc.). Hence people in those organizations will need to behave in a competitive fashion to achieve these scarse resources. The higher the competition the more easily an individual will jettison their moral compass.

However, from an individual point of view in a world economy. The amount of resources is effectively unlimited. In this environment one can believe in whatever one want. And if he has enough resource he can even impose his views on the masses.

Not trying to start a cult or anything. Just trying to say the framework you view morality and wealth is slightly incorrect in my humble opinion.
AC Dropout Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 07:18:08 (PDT)

chicky poo£º

Oh my dear gosh! 30...? I thought that you and I were peers!

Beijinger Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 00:45:27 (PDT)

MLK,

I appreciate the offer to pull others into a deep intellectual discussion, despite that hint of mockery in your message. =).

It is completely possible to forge an amazing emotional connection with someone you've only spoken to. Consider all the people pairing up through on-line dating services.. one of my college roommates just eloped with her Internet friend. Most attractions begin with some initial "fall in lust" moment. The transition from lust to love occurs through an exchange - whether it be emotionally or physically (or spiritually, for that matter). Love is just another dance of temptation and restraint and mystery and communication. The written word and the spoken word are two potent aphrodisiacs, because they offer insights into a person's true character, regardless of physical attributes.
firesnake Friday, May 17, 2002 at 12:58:37 (PDT)

AC Dropout -

Stuy Class of '95.. how technology can completely calibrate your age!

If we could simply reduce our emotional responses to chemical reactions, there would be no distinguishing factor between us and the savage beasts of the jungle. The one quality that enables us to be "human" is the ability to transcend these basic animal instincts. If PEA or any other hormonal stimulus were solely responsible for attraction and lust (to be mistaken as love), would say, a Pfizer pill of PEA be able to counteract the tendencies to fall out of love? I've read somewhere ("Interpreter of Maladies", Jhumpa Lahiri) that being sexy means being in love with someone you don't know. Does being overtly sexual and/or subtly sexual inspire people to fall in love? Does being sexual have anything to do with some hormone coursing through your veins? Sexiness is simply a state of mind. If this sexiness captivates people to fall in love, then the mind inspires people to fall in love.

firesnake Friday, May 17, 2002 at 12:24:32 (PDT)

Hey chicky-poo,
don't worry so much, and try to find and enjoy the good things about being single too. Although I guess you can take them for granted without really even realizing how great they are at the time, because you do not have the other side of the fence to compare it to.
Because as wonderful as marriage is and having someone, it does decrease time for yourself and bring more complications into your life.
Plus adds another 10 pounds in places you don't want it. Although your husband might.:)
And AC, the physical response to emotions can be measured by scientific means, but it still does not explain Love. Why do we feel a certain way about some people and not others? A poroduct of our environment or something more esoteric in nature.....called love?
Hannybunbun Friday, May 17, 2002 at 11:28:03 (PDT)

MLK,

hehehe, hiding in the bathroom, that's cute.

I guess it will have to be a pretty expensive dinner this way the difference won't be that great from my bank account. You like endangered species for dinner? Bengal Tiger with truffles, Or Blue Whale stew, or Giant Panda sausage. I know it sounds a little gamey but I know this great chef in Japan that does miracles with food.

Home cooked meal...that's tempting...but you know it could be more expensive if I end up in the hospital for food poisoning or something of that nature.
AC Dropout Friday, May 17, 2002 at 11:06:44 (PDT)

1/2LostSoul,

I always thought my experience in gangs gave me an advance in corporate culture.
Male bonding, having backup, watching out for backstabbers were experience in gangs that lend itself readily to corporate culture.

Have you ever watched a group of Japanese people go for dinner. I'm not kidding they all reach into their pocket book and start punching in the numbers when the check arrives.
AC Dropout Friday, May 17, 2002 at 10:58:30 (PDT)

chicky poo,

Well it was a pretty bad neighborhood. You either grow up fast or never leave your house.

By 13 girls were already getting pregnant in my old hood.

Before you think there is no hope. Once you hit the big 4-0 head down to FL. You will be considered a spring chicken in that crowd.

I know a group of guys in their late 20's that kept on saying to me once. They think having sex with a hot 40 or 50 year women is a dream. Because they have like 20 or 30 years experience on us. They're pass the hung up stage, birth control is not an issue......

What I'm trying to say is that there is alway opportunities at all ages.
AC Dropout Friday, May 17, 2002 at 10:54:11 (PDT)

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