What AF Want in a Dream AM | Asian American Poll

WHAT AA WOMEN WANT IN A DREAM AM
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:18:44 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an AA female, what would be the personal style of your ideal AA man?
Reserved & Cultured | 8%
Warm & Understanding | 85%
Aggressive & Take-Charge | 7%
Party Animal | 0%

Assuming you are an AA female, what would be the body type of your ideal AA man?
Thin | 1%
Trim | 54%
Sculpted (V-shape) | 45%
Stocky/Heavyset | 0%

Assuming you are an AA female, what would be the height of your ideal AA man?
Short (5-6 or Under) | 0%
Average (5-7 to 5-9) | 51%
Tall (5-10 to 6-1) | 48%
Supertall (6-2 or Above) | 1%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

aacolleggirl,

Haha-! Yale.... no wonder you don't meet too many Asian guys. Actually, there are lots of Asians in most Ivies, it's just that you don't meet a good variety. In Cali, you see all types of Asians... preppy, hardcore Azn-Pryde, thugz, junkies, ravers, over-achievers, screw-ups, sellouts, artsy types, skaters, surfers, musicians, jocks, FOBs, etc... even "Mexican-Asians". I could go on and on. I like that diversity. But not on the East Coast... oooooh no.

I go to Cornell, and the only types of Asians I see are:

1) nerdy
2) sellouts (I don't define sellouts as ppl who date whites, but rather people who actively disparage Asians or refuse to speak or chill with any of them.)
3) Nouveau Asians (Those who grew up lily-white, and now that they've met more yellow peeps, go overboard with proving how "Asian" they are... silly peeps, basically.)
4) FOBs
5) bananas (grew up too white to be anything else)

... in other words, I can't relate at all to 85% of Asians on the East Coast. They are a pretty sad bunch, overall with the possible exception of NYC Asians (though even so, they are pretty pathetic in comparison to Cali AAs). I think they resemble the West Coast Asian situation about 5-10 years ago. I guess that's what happens when there aren't enough of them to form their own identity. They either adopt the white ethos or have only just begun to develop some type of Asian identity. It's funny... in Cali for example I even see groups of Skaters that are ENTIRELY Asian. You know, Chinese kids teachin viets and white how to do a kick-flip on their skateboards, and little Asian skater boys making out with little Asian skater girls. It's cool. It's a testament to the growing AA identity. Out here, it's not like that at all.
East Coast Asians r blegh Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 15:50:38 (PST) [128.253.41.105]

Dumbfounded: There are definitely a lot of Asian girls who are studious and/or like to date non-Asians (namely white guys), but trust me, there are lots of us AF who think Asian guys are HOT! *sigh* :o)

abc college guy: I've definitely met guys who like to party and are really cool, but none of them like to open up and let you get too close, even as a friend. They just don't want to let down their guard. Although I do participate in extracurriculars and know a decent number of Asian guys, I still haven't had much luck. About where I go to school...I'd hate to say where only because it'll be pointing fingers to a relatively small group of Asian guys, but I go to Yale. Where do you go to college?

?: No, I don't think I'm too lazy to work with them. I can only try so much before it will seem like I'm twisting their arm. I'm not about to force someone to open up. Being open and relaxed should come naturally.

Gregory-the-Saint: See my response to abc college guy for where I go to college. Thanks for the encouragement! I'm keeping hopeful(although I don't want a lazy bf)! :oP
aacollegegirl Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 19:23:10 (PST) [128.36.65.151]

Damn, AAcollegegirl where do you go to school? Don't feel bad there are some lazy and outgoing Asian men out there. So don't lose hope, we do exist.
Gregory-the Saint Monday, November 18, 2002 at 23:55:07 (PST) [128.208.47.89]

aacollegegirl,

too lazy to work together with them?
? Monday, November 18, 2002 at 17:31:45 (PST) [62.158.89.194]

aa college girl, yeah i hear you. a lot of us guys really are serious about finishing school asap believe it or not. focusing on school takes a lotta effort as you know and many of us just want to finish quick to start our careers. still in life balance is everything so i'm pretty sure that there are Asian guys at your campus who know how to study as well as party. join some clubs or organizations. network with people and their friends, their friends' friends and so on. You'll find yourself hit on by some Asian guys before long. =) oh yeah what school do you go to?
abc college guy Monday, November 18, 2002 at 14:47:08 (PST) [65.184.91.9]

It goes both ways.In my college I met asian women who are hard working and asocial, hard working and shy, or hardworking but only date white guys. Hell, I should just give up on asian women all together and go after white women.
Dumbfounded Monday, November 18, 2002 at 10:24:23 (PST) [128.122.104.191]

Chi Chi:

There's an old European Adage which applies to your situation:

Time is cruel to beauty, but kind to plainness.

or to quote Sheryl Crow: "If it makes you happy, then it can't be that bad."
Hank Lewis Monday, November 18, 2002 at 06:22:20 (PST) [161.159.4.20]

I can't seem to find any Asian guys here at college who can open up and be fun. They are either hard working and reserved/shy, hard working and closed off, or hard working and not interested in having a relationship at all. I don't like to categorize people, but it's very true, and it's been very frustrating!!!
aacollegegirl abc@hotmail.com Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 16:40:03 (PST) [128.36.65.151]

It's very easy to make a list of what you want in a perfect guy, but trying to find that person will be impossible because most likely he doesn't exist.

Right now I'm seeing a JA guy, who I never thought I'd picture myself with. I have never been a superficial person, but my guy would not rate high in looks, money, or education. We started out as friends, and the more we got to know each other, the more I became attracted to him. Not only is he nice and sweet, he's also funny and has an awesome personality.
My advice to girls out there: Don't try to hold out for that perfect "dream guy" because he doesn't exist. Sometimes love or lust:) will hit you when you least expect it.
chi chi Friday, November 15, 2002 at 23:16:36 (PST) [64.66.216.128]

CBC gurl,

"nice, warm, funny, confident yet reserved at times, intelligent, great listeners and conversationalists, highly educated, passionate, gentle, clean-cut, laid-back, athletic, non-smokers, cultured and refined, considerate of others, who have good and healthy "

i think you asking for a little to much here. Sounds more like a recipe for superman. The kinda people u described are probably all taken hunnie. You might be better off getting 16-year-old boy and mold him into what ur looking for.

I have most the qualities that u just described AND ALOT more. I'm tall, goodlooking, bold, athletic and more.
But I'm not perfect either.

Here is my advice when looking for LOVE. " A**holes usually end up being the nicest guys "
So, look for an A**Hole like myself.
Lionheart Monday, November 04, 2002 at 11:03:52 (PST) [172.150.119.182]

cbc girl...

I fit most of those categories, except that I've been smoking for about a year. Does that really kill my chances with a girl like you (a non-smoker)? Btw, I would be willing to quit for life if I met a woman I cared enough to do it for. And lets just *assume* I'm Chinese, for the sake of this discussion. =)

Take care.
Korean Dude Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 19:28:36 (PST) [128.253.186.46]

to cbcgirl,

hi, your description totally exists. some can say that it is a dream, but i know couple of guys who totally fit your category.
and i am not even joking!!!

i am a gurl myself, and not to be rude or anything, my boyfriend is exactly of your description! i never want to lose him, bc he is a great catch! he is more than what you have described...

he is just an fairy tale guy! and i have been dating him for 7 months, that tells everything! you know you can know very much of your mate in 7 months of getting to know a person!

and guess what?? there is another person that fits your description, and better than your description. but he is really really really hard to get, if you are interested, leave your info. oh... my the way, he is my dear beloved brother!

well. take care!
ange0204
1004 , cute and unique Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 00:13:41 (PST) [155.247.229.6]

Well, to make a long story short, I like Asian guys (preferably those of Chinese ancestry) who are nice, warm, funny, confident yet reserved at times, intelligent, great listeners and conversationalists, highly educated, passionate, gentle, clean-cut, laid-back, athletic, non-smokers, cultured and refined, considerate of others, who have good and healthy relationships with their families, who values their friendship with others, faithful and fairly ambitious (no slackers and bums!). I don't even know if these types of guys exist. =P Of course looks are important too because if you say that you don't care about looks, you must not be human. What is the first thing that people look at when they see a guy or a girl walk by? It is their looks and that is what initially attracts people to each other before they get to know each other.
cbcgirl Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 01:37:11 (PST) [24.69.255.204]

Hmmm that's alot of parentheses..looks like I have great "Engrish" too...ha ha.
short asian college chick Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 15:11:02 (PDT)

"Reality is real. Dream are not. Don't get them confuse."

Yeah that's very true (and well put by AC Dropout, in great Engrish grammar.) Muahahah... Just kidding. It makes it sound like it's some old Confucious saying or something.) But dreams can be the stepping stones to creating reality.
short asian college chick Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 20:17:46 (PDT)

ck did you live in salt lake city?
bill Monday, October 07, 2002 at 11:25:32 (PDT)

Hi, AA girl here...just wanna give props to the lots of cute hot fine nice smart FUN AA guys out there!
kyu-chan Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 20:52:48 (PDT)

1/2 LostSoul & Waiting for MR Right,

I can see 1/2 LostSoul's point. It's not exactly that we lose masculinity but it just makes us look less confident. It has happenned to me before with one of my ex-gfs. When I decided to be more open with my feelings and thoughts with her (because I'd never talk about that so she was getting the idea that I was cold) one day she said that I seemed to be very confident when she met me, but that I seemed to be a lot more different once she got to know me better...
Sometimes is just extremely confusing to know what women want, don't you guys think so?.
ck Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 21:46:06 (PDT)

Mahlina,
love life, what love life? i don't have any. Recently, i have been meeting a lot of single women (some very pretty) who are looking for a success men. But at last, i am a modest person of modest means. I got reject so often that i stop trying. I still hang out with them but its obvious they are looking for someone else. And I would not want to date someone who is always looking for greener paster.

and good luck to you too. relationship can be heaven and hell.

AC,
Have you gotten soft? You have been acting humble and giving out FREE advice. What�s going on here? This is not the AC that I know.
And yes I agree, dreams and realties don�t mix well. But I live to dream. What is the purpose of life is there is no dreams to follow?
1/2LostSoul Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 12:14:40 (PDT)

1/2LostSoul:

What I am saying is, once you break the barrier, the "masculinity" complex wears out, & the guy eventually starts to feel free to openly share his feelings. That's all. This sounds simple, but it actually isn't. It takes a lot of time & commitment. Love is not born, yes I agree on that, and no my bf is not the only right person.

It sounds like this subject has some kind of tangency to your love life. It sounds like it tampers quite a bit, just have a little space for optimism & patience, really.

Love will be knocking on your door, when you're not lookin or waiting. Just be patient. The next psycho will not be waiting unless you allow him to enter.

Good Luck!
Mahlina Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 22:48:38 (PDT)

MLK,

You can't leave us hanging like that! Why did your parents disown you?
AM New Englander Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 19:20:04 (PDT)

1/2LostSoul,

I only post when I'm in the office and nothing to do. It good to be the boss. ^_^

I did not start posting to keep the fans happy either. Actually I came onto goldsea by accident when doing a search on asian in america, as part of a preliminary market research.

Reality is real. Dream are not. Don't get them confuse. I'm saying one changes or influences real events by will. Especially soft events, or those requiring human relationships. You probably can never effect the gravitational constant of the universe. But if your will is strong enough you can get people to use "Y" instead of "G" to represent it. Get the picture.
AC Dropout Monday, August 19, 2002 at 15:55:08 (PDT)

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