AA Attitude toward F.O.B.s | Asian American Poll

ATTITUDE TOWARD F.O.B.S
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:18:22 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian American, what's your definition of an F.O.B. ("Fresh-off-the-boat" immigrant)?
Anyone not born in the U.S. | 31%
Anyone who speaks with a noticeable accent | 30%
Anyone who acts or dresses old-country | 39%

Assuming you are an Asian American, what's your attitude toward F.O.B.s?
I am fully open to friendships/relationships with them. | 44%
I am friendly but would not want to get too close. | 41%
I generally avoid them on a social level. | 15%

Assuming you are an Asian American, what do you find most annoying about F.O.B.s?
They play into offensive stereotypes. | 15%
They are obsessed with flashy materialism. | 39%
They maintain Asian customs and values. | 0%
They are no more annoying than other AA. | 46%

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

I’m a white woman, so I’m not sure how welcome my comments will be, but oh well. First, to “Martin Luther Chang” my recommendation would be to use ABA for Asian Born Asians and USBA for US Born. If the American Born Asians aren’t willing to give ABA up, or if it’s too complicated I’d recommend OBA, Overseas Born Asian, though it’s a bit vague. It sounds like most of you are talking about Chinese people so maybe you’d consider going with MBC, Mainland Born Chinese (Hong Kong Born can be HKC and Taiwanese can be TBC). Just my suggestion.

Now what I’m about to say might make some of you mad, but just remember it is only how I personally happen to feel, it is not a statement of absolute authority or judgment. Having lived in China and having a husband who is MBC, I personally feel more comfortable with and have more in common with MBC than USBC. When I lived in China I was surprised to find MBC to be so much friendlier than most USBC I had encountered. I have a lot of friends who are OBA, but I can’t think of any USBA friends that I have (the closest I’ve come is dating an OBA who moved to the US when he was young, and a guy who was half Asian).

My honest opinion is that I don’t like many USBA I have met and seen. In college I found many of them to be too cliquish. Many either completely shunned their heritage or embraced it with such vigor they refused to appreciate anything about US culture and, I believe were less open to US culture than many OBA. I have also found many young USBA to be far too wild, much wilder than I ever was. Many young USBA women in particular seem far too loud, obnoxious, and unfeminine to me. I’m not saying they are bad people, but I haven’t seen many I’d want to be friends with so far, and quite frankly some of their behavior turns me off and leaves a bad impression. That said, maybe I haven’t made enough effort to get to know some of them, or perhaps they seemed so cliquish that either they didn’t give me a chance to get to know them or I didn’t think they would. And to be fair, maybe many USBA have had bad experiences with white Americans so they don’t want to interact with or be nice to us. Since I haven’t had any USBA who are close friends, I’m not an authority on them.

Many USBC mistake my husband to also be USBC (though he has been here less than 10 years), and it annoys him for most of the reasons above. I think it also bothers him to see them take so much for granted. I’m sorry to say I think many are spoiled (as are many Americans). I have a deep respect for the MBC I meet because I know what many of them have been through in China and in the US. It makes me angry some of you USBC criticize them for silly things like taking a seat on a bus. It also makes me angry to see many Americans treat them without the respect they deserve. I was with my husband from the day he stepped foot in this country and I will tell you that I have cried with him at some of the crap he has put up with and hardship he has gone through (actually I’ve cried more than him—I think I’ve only seen him cry a couple of times). It broke my heart to see a man who was doing well in China come to this country (for me, no less) and start from the very bottom. He has done well, better than MOST white Americans and I respect him for his capability and drive more than I think he realizes, but it was not an easy road. He took care of me in China and I did my best to take care of him when he came here, but for a man it is not an easy thing to feel powerless in a new environment. So many OBA have incredible stories to tell, and you can learn a lot from them if you open your eyes, mind and heart.

So, here is why I think most of you USBA would criticize OBA. You have tried really hard to completely adopt American culture and you are afraid Americans will see OBA who look Asian like you and group you all together and undo all the assimilating you have done. I think some of you want to separate yourselves from them to impress white Americans, or at least create your own sense of identity based on the experiences you have had here. However, I think most white Americans can tell you apart…if it matters. Others of you are very young and just don’t stop to think about what they have gone through and given up to come here, so you just see some things they do that annoy you or that you think is funny and you fail to see the big picture. I agree there are some things MBC and people in China might do that I’m not crazy about, like pushing and spitting, but you have to understand it is OK in their culture and I don’t think they should be expected to change overnight (and there are a lot of things I don’t think they should be expected to change at all). There are also some things that I might even chuckle at like wearing mismatched clothes or pantyhose with shorts, but I try to catch myself because those things are superficial and in a way it’s cute (why do we let media images tell us what is good and what is not?). You shouldn’t let your fear or lack of understanding get in the way of learning what I think your parents, grandparents or great-grandparents would have wanted you to learn about their culture and all they gave up to come here for your future.

VA Girl Friday, March 08, 2002 at 00:39:13 (PST)

i agree with you ching boi
mai Sunday, March 03, 2002 at 12:51:20 (PST)

FOB r tight...their cool...AA'a some of these dunno jak shiet, gotta keep it azn stylez, FOBs bring sum ob dat Azn Pride and culture and customs and norms over here.
ching boi Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 11:09:41 (PST)

What's all this against hongers? I am chinese but i am not a honger, and i feel that if they wish to act as they do, so be it. They have their good qualities, as do any other race. Of course, them all driving benz's, mercedes's, lexus's and what not "kinda" piss me off and make me envious, but that envy is just superficial.
I live in Richmond (a suburb of Vancouver) and i can safely say that at least 51% of all people living in Richmond are chinese/asian descent. A majority of these are hongers! But so what? Many of my friends are hongers, yet many are also white, russian, brown, etc etc. The way i see it is that hongers just bring in and introduce another "culture" into my vision, as do many other races. I confess that i had in the past wanted to "be" a honger, but that phase has past.
And pertaining to another comment in this poll talking about honger clothing and how they are gay etc etc. What is the problem with what they wear? It's only a style. They don't overly criticize how other people (such as rapper wannabe's and such) dress like, so why should they be criticized? And also what is the problem with "their little" cell phones? If you wanna see little, go to Europe, ours in North America are NOTHING compared to theirs.
There is one point i agree with though, they should DRASTICALLY improve their English ability. It's just soooo funny to see how pathetic they look/sound when they speak in class and around town.
American born chinese canadian teen Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 00:51:13 (PST)

aa girl,

It is a car where the suspension has been lowered, so the car will actually ride lower to the ground. Hence the name low rider.
AC Dropout Wednesday, February 20, 2002 at 15:54:07 (PST)

I'm not a FOB, but I am a CBC (Canadian Born Chinese). There is no reason to be discriminated against FOBs becuase they are like any other human. But in my opinion, some very FOBish people are annoying, in a sense that they dye their hair colour the same, and like Sanrio stuff. I don't mind that, but it seems like some of them don't even give any effort in learning a second language. I may be wrong, but that is what I see here, where I live.
a CBC Tuesday, February 19, 2002 at 18:53:11 (PST)

what's a low rider?
aa girl Tuesday, February 19, 2002 at 18:02:37 (PST)

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