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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
AA ATTITUDE TOWARD HAPAS
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:16:03 PM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
Assuming you are Asian American, which best describes your feeling toward Hapas (persons with one Asian parent)?
I find them more attractive than pure Asians. |
38%
I find them less attractive than pure Asians. |
11%
I find them equally attractive as other Asian Americans. |
13%
They put me off by seeming more white than Asian. |
28%
I am never quite sure how to relate to them. |
10%
Assuming you are a Hapa, which best describes your own feelings?
I am most comfortable with Asians. |
38%
I am most comfortable with Whites. |
33%
I am most comfortable around other Hapas. |
6%
I am equally comfortable with Asians and Whites. |
23%
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Italian Man,
You love your girlfriend but not sure want to have a family with her, B'coz gonna have Hapa kids???. Please don't think that way.
Non sia prego egoista. I vostri bambini se conosca sia le colture Italiane che Coreane, la priorita basse e le lingue. Multilingue per I bambini e la piu.
Please don't be selfish. If you do have kids, You can't just raise them as Italian...only. No matter what your kids have to know both background Italian/Korean language,culture, food, family, ect. Afraid to being confused?, IF you identify them with only one race/culture that even gonna confused your kids. If you raise them as Italian and Korean, your kids will feelings equally comfortable with Korean & Italian community. Peoples would respect you and your kids better.
Name is name. Yes, your lastname that your kids will undertaking...and all that's counts. But you've to open minded, your kids still half Italian half Korean. And you've to accept that.
Look. My background even more complicated than your future kids. I'm a hapa that 1/4 here and there. I'm mixed Venezuela/Chinese and Belgium/Indonesian. Even though I've my dad's Belgium lastname, my family raised me as all of those VC/BI. They teaches me the languanges, cultures, foods,ect. I was live in Belgium, it was kinda advantage for me to learned other neighboring countries languages. So anyway, I'm not being confused who I am. If I met people that speaks the language that I know/learned, I'll trying to speak their languages. And they also will respect and accepted me more. With that way I feels equally more comfortable with my mixed background.
So, Non sia prego egoista. Your children should to know both their parents culture, languages, ect.
Sorry I speak broken Italian, been long time never speak Italian. I need to practice with you. :D
SPRNZ
Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 00:21:17 (PST)
[210.195.54.39]
To Italian Man~
very bad idea. my dad tried to do that with me....I have been taught to think and act as if I were full white, and not only does it annoy my mother and her family but it has done weird things to my mind. I mean, I am white on the inside but Asian on the outside...
twisted soul
Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 20:55:25 (PST)
[24.30.169.133]
ok how about, why is it that malaysian hapas, such as myself tend to be better looking than any other hapas and definately better looking than pure asians??
and could someone please tell me why im so good looking
malaysian sensation
Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 19:37:13 (PST)
[202.188.65.124]
I am comfortable around both asians and whites. But it seems like when I'm around my non asian friends they consider me asian, and when im with my asian friends they dont consider me a "true" asian..it doesn't bother me that much though. (i am half white and half chinese...i don't appear more asian or white i look completely in between) i also don't feel more asian or american, that issue kinda confuses me when i try to decide.......*_^
Kelsey kelsey821@hotmail.com
Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 13:54:52 (PST)
[172.138.51.76]
Italian Man,
How dare you called yourself a man. You wanna marry an Asian and don't want your kids to love her mom's culture, language, people, etc? You are not only selfish, you are also a coward. What are you afraid of? Your kids loving Korean culture more than Italian culture? Go get yourself an Italian wife instead if think hapas are weird looking. What you gonna do if you have hapa kids?
CNB
Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 05:25:36 (PST)
[67.30.171.124]
to Italian man:
u completely miscomprehended me. i said SOME hapas look a bit strange and in no way did i say all did or that they are uglier than other races. Also you are a very selfish person and if u have kids, they will be raised badly as opposed to not confused as was your intention. u obviously are racially insensitive as demonstrated by your need to suppress your kids' natural heritage. u had better listen to ur girlfriend because she is apparently better at this. u also buy into the misconception that mixed kids are all confused about their culture/race. this is not true as the majority are well-adjusted individuals who benefit from the 2 cultures they are exposed to. I am chinese and white, bilingual, and bicultural and i can tell you that ignoring your kids' korean side would ultimately lead them to doubt you and they will suffer for it. they will be confused about their race, the opposite intended effect. Your kids can be raised as Italian but if you try to stop them from embracing their korean side as well it is ultimately burying who they are and may rip your family apart. This is not to say that mixed kids who have only one culture are all confused or at a disadvantage, but a child forced to choose one race is. What if someone forced you to abandon your italian heritage? i can tell you that i would not be the same person if i wasnt bicultural. Your overzealousness supercedes your mainly good intentions. Your presdisposed racial reinforcements for your children mar their lives before they even exist. I am not trying to insult you; I want to show you that you are making a mistake.
Half Chyna Doll
Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 00:48:34 (PST)
[66.147.146.230]
Furthermore, if I have kids, their last name will be Italian...since I'm Italian. No way will they be identified by anything other than Italian.
I mean, I can see if they say that they are half Korean, but they are Italian all the way!!!
My girlfriend doesn't see it that way (she sees them as half Italian and half Korean), but it's my last name that our kids will be undertaking, so they are Italian...and that's all that counts.
Italian Man
Friday, December 27, 2002 at 03:46:58 (PST)
[209.246.98.57]
I agree with Half Chyna Doll. I also find HAPAS to be a "bit" unnatural looking. I can't explain it either, but they do seem a bit weird.
This is coming from an Italian man dating an Asian women.
I love my girlfriend, but I'm not sure if I want to have a family with her.
We've discussed this many times. IF we do have kids, I plan to raise them as Italian...only. That means, they'll be totally immersed in Italian language, culture, food, family, etc. I don't want them to be raised as Korean. Selfish? Perhaps. I'd rather have them identify with only one race/culture as opposed to being confused.
Italian Man
Friday, December 27, 2002 at 03:42:21 (PST)
[209.246.98.57]
Ok, Malaysian Sensation, why don't you suggest a new topic???
hulagirl
Monday, December 23, 2002 at 11:23:15 (PST)
[64.51.170.210]
i left this poll for 4 months and i come back and its still on the same subject!!
chinese guy: "Pure asians are better looking than hapas"
hapa guy: "nuh uh hapas are the better looking ones"
chinese guy: "no there not"
hapa guy: "yes they are"
chinese guy: "no there not"
hapa guy: "yes they are"
chinese guy: "no there not"
hapa guy: "your momma!"
and so on, who really gives a damn
Malaysian sensation
Friday, December 20, 2002 at 22:05:31 (PST)
[202.188.83.70]
to hapachan: i see your point but i think they r just trying to discern how asians view hapas which is quite interesting. we could do a how hapas view asian poll. all of us are just clearing up some issues on this board.
Half Chyna Doll
Wednesday, December 18, 2002 at 19:29:36 (PST)
[66.243.97.198]
I am hapa. I find this poll offensive.
Why do we constantly have be judged on our looks?
hapachan hapalyssa@hotmail.com
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 02:06:28 (PST)
[168.215.228.228]
to Helen: that's a really sweet story. a really nice example of overcoming race boundaries.
in response to looks dicussion: now that i think about it, i dont think hapas are all extremes but to me hapas are either in the handsome/pretty category or in the ugly category. the nice-looking ones just have a nice mix of features (ranging from ok to gorgeous) or just an unpleasant mix. sometimes the blend just looks weird and uncomfortable. for me, hapas are just generally bad or good. i cant explain it that well but it's just sometimes their faces just look unnatural and sometimes theyre just uniquely gorgeous. the most beautiful asians are equal to the best of hapas or any other race. beauty isnt specific to a race,
Half Chyna Doll
Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 16:30:23 (PST)
[66.243.97.198]
["think there are more middle of the road asians than there are middle of the road hapas. hapas tend to b more extreme in looks."
Actually...it's just the opposite...
There does tend to be less severely ugly hapas...but I have not yet seen any extremely pretty hapas either...
But maybe they are out there...
:)
Being objective...I have seen some prime time ugly Asians...but the beautiful pure Asians...are way better looking than the best of hapas...]
yeah dont know why but that seem to be the case.
strange
Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 00:38:27 (PST)
[203.45.8.30]
My half-sister(same mom..but different fathers) is half white. And I always thought of her as my real sister..even If we looked different from one another. She's my sister 100% because she loves me 100%. We don't treat each other any differently..just because we obviously don't look alike. I get offended I'f people think were step sisters...because she looks white. I love her. The only thing that is annoying sometimes is that she can be overprotective..because she's alot older. She has expressed that when she was in Vietnam...she encountered racism..and that's sad. I was born here..in the states. So..I don't trully know what that was like. I'm glad now that people are a little more open minded. Hapas are beautiful people who have the best of both worlds.
Helen
Saturday, December 14, 2002 at 20:00:35 (PST)
[207.132.131.54]
i LOVE halfies. . . have a HUGE fetish for half guys. they usually have the best of both races. usually a beautiful child will be born out of a hideous union. my bf is a halfie and says he gets annoyed cuz ppl are always asking him what he is. he is also ADORABLE. smart and hardworking like asians, but built all strong and big and manly. with full lips and high cheekbones and those huge dark teddy bear eyes. adorable. and this guy i see around the gym? UGH. . . GORGEOUS. i get all nervous and giggly if he like passes me and i'm 20 yrs old. plus most girls are real pretty too. but i've seen some fus. . . this guy in one of my classes? barely looks human! oh, and what does hapa stand for?
Halfie fetish
Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 02:37:05 (PST)
[205.188.209.20]
My friend , who is white wishes that she was Azn. She has a extreme Azn fetish, she wont even look at a guy if hez not Azn. And she tells ppl that she is part Azn sometimes, even tho she is obviously not. She rates guys attratctiveneness on how Azn they look. She is alwayz talking about Azn power to, she is more into being Azn then I am. CRAZZZZAY!!!!!!
hahaha
Monday, December 09, 2002 at 07:04:19 (PST)
[205.154.245.51]
(Does anyone have white friends who seem to wish they were asian?)
to Uprooted: I've had some of the same experiences as you...The whole "what are you?" coversation happens to me all the time. I'll be in the fitting room at the mall (or an equally comparable random place)and I'll hear the "what are you" repetoire. I get it at parties. Bars. The gym.
When I tell people I'm half filipino they go into how they went to school with some asian people and sushi and thai food is so good. And they wish they had nice asian skin and a slim asian figure, and they wish they had family living on the other side of the world...blah blah etc.
(I think any asian who asserts hapas are better looking are whitewashed) This a valid point. I saw an earlier post from someone about how in many asian countries most beauty queens and celebs are mixed, and have more obvious "cacasian features" It's obviously a result of brainwashing by the western media....
In a recent issue of Marie Claire there was a grid showing about 20 photos of women. The caption asked something about global beauty standards. The women in the photos were all blond. There were also no asians (or hapas!)
hulagirl
Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 12:48:34 (PST)
[64.51.170.210]
Hulagirl:
The only 'snottiness' I've gotten so far is, believe it or not, from FOBs that were put off because I didn't speak their language and looked white to them.
Not that I have anything to compare it to, but being hapa is pretty cool to me too. Sometimes it is interesting if I'm in a place with only whites, and some part of the conversation comes up disrespecting asians or whatever, and they don't realize that an asian is in the room. Fly on the wall kind of thing.
here's the pisser about being hapa.
White Person: "What are you?"
Me: "What do you mean?
WP: "What's your ethnic background?"
Me: "I'm Japanese."
WP: "... But you're not ALL Japanese."
Me: "So?"
WP: "So what are you?"
Me: "I'm Japanese."
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
I can't speak on behalf of all hapas, but for me, I'm a Japanese-American, and I don't care if my last name doesn't reflect that or I have folds in my eyelids, my hair is wavy, and I'm over 6'0". It's what I am. That's it.
HtByB: "I was afraid that if I considered her part of us Asians, she'd be offended that I left out her other side...vice-versa." Hopefully, she's secure enough to not be concerned with what little 'club' you'd like to put her in. Most people have bigger things to worry about. End.
Two tangents....
1) People who are overly-proud about one thing or another are funny to me.
"I am PROUD to be (white/black/latino/asian/whatever)!"
"Why?"
A lot of times they don't know what to say.
2) Thanksgiving night I went to visit a hapa friend and his girlfriend. They also had a white couple there that I never met. After a litle conversation the WM learned he was sitting between two hapas. He just thought it was WONDERFUL and AMAZING (his words) that we were half-asians. Drone drone blah blah blah judo sushi tokyo talk fo the next two hours. It was so bizarre I didn't know what to make of it.
Does anyone have white friends who seem to wish they were asian?
Sorry this was so long.
Uprooted
Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 10:11:18 (PST)
[66.14.62.2]
To K: My family is SE asian and the men in my family are in fact, extremely feminine looking. My aunts have soft round faces as well as my uncles. They all have small noses and small builds. A few guys I met in school had these "delicate" features as well.
I see your point though. I think the northern asians tend to have more defined cheekbones, which would give them a more rugged look.
cat
Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 08:47:07 (PST)
[64.51.170.210]
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