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ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN AMERICAN MEN
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:12:15 PM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
Which of the following is the most attractive quality about Asian American men?
Good Looks |
60%
Attractive Build |
7%
Attitude & Personality |
17%
Education/Culture |
16%
Which of the following is the least attractive aspect of Asian American men?
Looks |
4%
Build |
5%
Personality |
10%
Success Fixation |
17%
Insensitivity |
64%
Which factor contributes most to the negative image of AA men?
Large proportion of recent immigrants in the AA population |
22%
White American men seeing Asian men as a threat |
26%
The media catering to existing prejudices |
32%
Asia's relatively recent emergence from poverty |
20%
Which would most dramatically help the image of AA men?
Asian male achieving sports stardom on par with Michael Jordan |
6%
AA male becoming elected President of the United States |
13%
East Asia attaining living standards on par with the U.S. |
24%
Asian male achieving movie stardom on par with Tom Cruise |
57%
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
I have to say that Asian men are wonderful.
I recently went to China, just returning on 6/17. My boyfriend lives in China and I have to say I was treated with love, respect, admiration, and friendship. His family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors treated me like I was his wife. My b/f is smart, intelligent, handsome, and a true poet in his heart. True, some chinese men are either afraid of approaching a black woman or because their family would not approve would never consider such a thing, I only hope that if there are Asian men out there who find African American women interesting and attractive that they take the chance and see what wonderful possibilities that could happen. I know my boyfriend and I will face major comments from his culture and mine, but i am willing to fight for us, and I know he feels the same. He has even given me a chinese name, Xui Lan.
Xiu Lan TeachingInChina@aol.com
Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 09:41:17 (PDT)
Re: Asian men need to be more self-confident and aggressive,
I think we should be careful what we wish for. I think the focus on humility in Chinese culture (i don't know about other Asian cultures) is a good thing.
I guess i can't speak for Americans because i'm Australian. But i've heard Whites here criticizing Asians for "lacking confidence" even when the Asian in question was just being normal and it pisses me off. Asians generally don't go telling whites they are too self-centered, do they?
I think Chinese confidence is a quiet, self-contained confidence that is secure enough not to have to "prove" itself constantly. What is likely to undermine this real confidence is constant pressure to conform to this in-your-face type "confidence" that WASPs value. I often suspect that WMs subconsciously know this, which is why they keep telling AMs to be "more confident" - it's a subtle means of eroding Asian confidence.
My father is the epitome of self-confidence, while being quietly spoken and the supreme avoider of conflict. He is the classic Chinese diplomat who knows exactly how get what he wants, and does, while 'ruffling as few feathers' as possible. That is the wonder of the Chinese style, and i hope to retain whatever remnants of it i haven't already lost in my foolish whitwashed childhood. (Of course, Dale Carnegie books might also have something to do with my dad's style :)
Sometimes I see Chinese who are obviously trying to behave more WASPishly "outspoken" than they are naturally inclined (their body language doesn't match their words), and it's annoying. Trying to be the centre of attention is just not Chinese, unless you're a balding man going through mid-life crisis getting drunk and making crude jokes.
Even when a big bunch of Chinese get together and the noise level goes right up, i don't get a sense that anybody is trying to compete for individual attention. Chinese people are a lot more aware of each others' presence. Even the wittiest, most charming person exudes a certain air of humility. That is just so great and civilised. Whereas when WASPs get together, often it's like the guys are all just trying to compete for individual attention. It's childish. As an AF, i'm easily put off by egotistical displays. Although i'm dating a WM, he's quiet and unassuming (typical Virgo). He has achieved a lot, in this quiet and unassuming way. If he were Asian, whites would say he lacked confidence, but he doesn't. He just knows he doesn't have to prove anything.
On another board someone made an excellent point - that Asian men consider shouting to be effeminate. I never thought about it before, but it's true!
Who wants to go out with a huge muscular guy named Phouc? Probably his humility is his ONLY redeeming quality!
krasavitsa
Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 11:49:37 (PDT)
To Asian men need to be more self-confident and agressive:
I definitely have to agree with you on this one! Asian men in general have to be much stronger mentally and physically! CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE, and CONFIDENCE is the basis of success. Growing up, I use to be weak and very timid. Then one day I just got fed up becuase I finally realize it was getting me no where! I was tired of being a floor mat and being bullied around. So everyone, DON'T TAKE S#%& FROM ANYONE!!! Stand up for yourselves and be proud of who you are!
Viet guy in Houston
Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 07:53:55 (PDT)
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