Outmarriage by Asian Americans | Asian American Poll

OUTMARRIAGE BY ASIAN AMERICANS
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:11:08 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

On the whole are children produced from interracial marriages advantaged or disadvantaged?
Advantaged | 26%
Disadvantaged | 22%
Neither | 52%

Assuming you are an Asian American male, which best describes your marriage partner or your prospective/likely marriage partner?
Someone of my own nationality | 54%
Someone of another Asian nationality | 9%
Someone of a non-Asian race | 37%

Assuming you are an Asian American female, which best describes your marriage partner or your prospective/likely marriage partner?
Someone of my own nationality | 53%
Someone of another Asian nationality | 7%
Someone of a non-Asian race | 40%

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WHAT YOU SAY

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Hannybunbun and Hank Lewis...

While I think it's great that you have others you can talk to about your experiences and your children, I feel the need to share w/you another take on this. I am a result of a mixed marriage myself and I have to tell you that it sounds like both of you are overly obsessed w/the whole bi-racial, multi-racial issue. I have had many people come up to me and ask me what I am mixed w/and let me just say, it gets old real quick!! Sometimes people being obsessed w/it is just as bad as those that are against it. I applaud you for trying to keep a positive outlook on things but I feel if you had that from day one, you wouldn't really need to seek out the acceptance of others. After all, I'm sure people have told you to ignore those ignorant comments that people have made...well, that ignorance can go both ways. You will find, unfortunately, that many people will be just as ignorant and fall all over themselves trying to compliment a mixed race child just for th sake of doing so to make themselves feel better about having a mixed race child or having one in their family! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't have pride in your child, just please, for your children's sake, don't over obsess about it. This is why so many mixed children become arrogant...trust me, I know MANY, MANY, MANY! They get so used to people telling them how beautiful they are b/c they are mixed that they begin to think they are better than those people who aren't mixed. And I must say that the Asian guy that sat down and talked to you in the restaurant then phoned his wife...that's scary!! If he and his wife were secure in their own relationship, he wouldn't have needed confirmation that their kid would be cute. That's pathetic. You said he told his wife that he now has an idea of what their child will look like. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard someone assume! Their child will more than likely look nothing like your child unless both couples look identical!! Again, I applaud you seeking out other mixed couples but please don't look to these people for acceptance!! Be strong in yourself and you won't need to feel validated by others.
Please stop the patronizing!! Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 01:11:14 (PDT)

Hank Lewis and Hannybunbun,

You are both an inspiration to me. Hank, your story about the couple was so nice. Even after all the tough times they've been through, they still managed to raise good, happy kids and maintain a positive attitude. To all you naysayers out there- interracial marriages can and do work every day!
curious girl Friday, June 28, 2002 at 13:12:26 (PDT)

Hank Lewis,

The key difference between your experience and Hannybunbun's might be that you represent a Caucasian male/Asian female couple, whereas she represents an Asian male/Caucasian female couple. Traditionally, your coupling represents the "norm," whereas Hannybunbun's represents the anomaly, from the perspective of the dominant Eurocentric paradigm.

The offspring from your bi-racial union represents something "cute" for these traditionalist, conservative identities, whereas the offspring from Hannybunbun's is read as a "threat." Your relationship represents Western imperialism and they see themselves benefiting from that, but Hannybunbun's relationship represents a reversal of that power dynamic: Asian imperialism/dominance in the world and the U.S as reflected in the Asian male subjugation of the Caucasian female. These traditionalist, conservative white identities are fearful of the implied change in power dynamics and the inevitable erosion of their status, power, and racialized "privileges" in the U.S.

As a final note, there is an irony in the fact that the bi-racial children of your union is exactly the same as the bi-racial children of the union between Hannybunbun's Asian husband and herself. BUT, the experiences of your children in a hyper-racialized context of Texas and other conservative quarters of the country might be completely different from the experiences of Hannybunbun's children. Hence, Hannybunbun might have to put in extra motherly and parental care to the nurturance, protection, and development of her children in order for them to grow up proudly in the U.S., representing the best of America.
Asian Machiavelli Friday, June 28, 2002 at 11:42:36 (PDT)

Hannybunbun:

I'm curious as to what part of the country you live in--is it the Southeast or elsewhere? If you've said it before, I apologize but I don't remember!

Helena draws A LOT of attention from elderly Asian and Caucasian ladies in Houston who want to shower her with nothing but compliments--saying she's the most beautiful baby they've ever seen etc. Those women have been so occupied with fawning over her that they've never whispered anything in front of us or after we've walked away. This has happened at Wal-Mart, Sam's Club, Target, Hong Kong City Mall, Katy Mills Mall, Hong Kong Supermarket and HEB.

My mother-in-law watches her during the day and has purposely taken Helena to various stores/parks in Westside Chinatown where her other older women will be with their grandbabies because (according to her anyway) all the attention goes to Helena and it shows up all the other Waipois and Nainais. Sometimes, it makes me swell with paternal pride, but other times (like when we've been in a hurry) it can be annoying.

The most enjoyable exchange I had was with an elderly couple at Sam's Club a month ago. The man was of Japanese ancestry (a moderate number of Japanese-Americans settled in SE Texas during the 1920s and 1940s) and his wife was Caucasian. They both spoke admiringly of my daughter, and then mentioned they'd had 3 daughters and 10 grandkids. They mentioned that there had been challenges--cultural, with their families and with idiots outside the home who wanted to steal their kids' joy away. However, they never regretted their choices and that their kids and grandkids were the greatest gifts they'd been given by God.

Seeing people like that couple, with all they'd been through yet still having a positive attitude are living proof that families like yours and mine can thrive despite the idiocy of some. It gives me hope for the future of kids like Helena and Nathaniel.
Hank Lewis Friday, June 28, 2002 at 09:17:24 (PDT)

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