Premarital Sex Among Asian Americans | Asian American Poll

YOUR FIRST TIME
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:10:21 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

How old were you when you had your first true sexual experience beyond petting?
Under 13 | 4%
13-15 | 16%
16-18 | 36%
19-21 | 21%
Over 21 | 23%

Which one of the following best describes your first true sexual experience beyond petting?
Full intercourse | 47%
Being masturbated | 19%
Masturbating my partner | 13%
Receiving oral sex | 12%
Giving oral sex | 9%

How did your first sexual experience come about?
We both wanted it. | 52%
My partner pushed me into it. | 33%
I pushed my partner into it. | 11%
My first partner was a prostitute. | 4%

What's your biggest regret about your first sexual experience?
I wish it had been with a different partner. | 35%
I wish I had waited until later. | 23%
I wish I had done it earlier. | 2%
I wish it had been more enjoyable. | 23%
I have no regret. | 17%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Let's take a look at the comments from SOG and Todd.

SOG- "It doesnt make you any less of a person. The victim is never at fault."
You are supportive, empathetic and helpful. You are an absolute gem.

Todd- "When a girl is dating a guy, she is his property. He had the right to your soul. He has had the right all along?"

I truly truly hope that you don't really mean this. This is just absolute bs, no one is anyone else's property. Does your girlfriend like being owned, body and soul, by you?
curious girl Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 08:09:48 (PDT)

Saving it,

I feel that being a virgin is very commendable. It is really a wonderful thing. But I also feel that it is blown up way out of proportion too much. When you finally lose your virginity, you will see what I mean. Yes it will feel more special if you save it for that special someone. When it is all over and you are no longer a virgin, it will no longer really matter. It will be gone and thats that. It will be something of the past.
I was a virgin too, and I saved it for when I got married. It was an arranged marriage. I loved the man, but it was all arranged by our families. I am no longer a virgin, and it is now a thing of the past. Its not such a big deal as I was making it out to be when I was untouched. Virgins tend to exaggerate the "Virginity" issue. I understand it is important to keep yourself clean, and healthy. I completely agree with not hopping from partner to partner. But I don't see blowing the whole virgin issue up like its some gigantic fireball. Yes virginity is very important to a woman. But it will not last forever unless you decide to become a monk or a nun...or just flat out never masturbate and never have sex. So, if you are planning on losing it someday to someone special [whether it is marriage or something else]...when it happens it will just happen, end of the story. Who cares. So what. It will happen, and it will be gone way. It will not matter later on, whenever you decide.
sarita Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 07:56:18 (PDT)

:
i think that regenerating your once lost hymen is unethical and kind of fake. well it is fake, not kind of. it's like getting a nose job. but i guess if a woman is rich and this is something that is really important to her, then good for her becuz it will make her husband happy. but nowadays women get vaginal laser rejuvenation (to get re-tightened) not for medical or traditional purposes but for pleasure.

i don't think that having a new fake hymen (which the doctor can fix for you) will reclassify you as a virgin. once you lose it you lose it for life. does anyone agree with me? virginity is not more of a physical state than an emotional state. losing your V is more about having intercourse with the opposite sex for the first time in your life. just cuz you got ur hymen fixed and replaced doesn't erase the fact that you have once had intercourse in your life (thus, losing IT). but it would make you physically but not technically a "virgin". Or if you want to fool your future husband into believing that u never did it.

i heard that a lot of girls who were virgins got accused for not being a virgin (by their husbands) because their partners did not feel any pressure upon edid not see any blood after the intercourse, which is typical of virgin sex(these women played lots of sports which caused the hymen to be ruptured (ie. horseback riding, bicycling, overuse of tampons) hymen is just a piece of layer of thin tissue taht covers the opening of the vagina). whereas some women are still tight even after doing it a lot and a guy will think she is a V even though she is not. Sometimes a woman will even bleed even if she is not a virgin, so it can be confusing for guys. some guys can be a little dense when it comes to these matters, but not all. hehe.
i guess it also has to do with a guys experience too, i dunno.

oh about medical doctors proving it. well i think there must be some way they can prove it, but probaby not by looking at a female's hymen, cuz of what i said above (that u can lose ur hymen by doing sports n stuff).

one thing that bothers me is the double standard. in traditional asian society guys are not looked down upon if they have sex, but girls are. old people seem to think that a woman has a lot to lose by having sex, but the guy doesn't have a thing to lose. maybe partly cuz the guy doesn't have a hymen.

my personal views on premarital sex: neutral. i think that in this day and age, everyone is doing it, so people should keep an open mind. and for those who decide to save it--thats very honorable and respectful.

did someone ask me if i was a virgin on this post? i am not sure if it was this one or another message board.
oh wellie.

sorry i am not very eloquent with my words right now i am just really tired.
hope i din't bore ya with my bickering.
Moonshineprincess Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 16:46:12 (PDT)

liza,

Well besides the incident of non-consentual sex. Which is wrong by the way.

I think you have to work out by yourself. Do you still want to be with him?

Once you've decided if you want to be with him. I think the rest will fall into place.

If you want to leave him, move out, get away, and prosecute him.

If you feel he's going to kill you, you should contact the authorities.
AC Dropout Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 14:55:52 (PDT)

JuiceyFruit:

I have posted other comments on this page but this will be my last. Frankly, I'm just tired of the subject so I won't even be looking at it anymore. hehe Only comment I have, which isn't really just for you but for everyone that agrees w/you... I just find it very depressing that so many people in this society have given in to peer pressure and their biological urges like they have absolutely no control of their hormones or their body at all. It's sad. And for people to actually say there is NOTHING WRONG w/ premarital sex when it strictly forbids it in the Bible is truly disheartening. Everyone is certainly entitled to their own opinion and free to do what they want w/their own bodies but what makes it depressing is that they try to destroy others' morality by putting peer pressure on them and saying it's ok. It's just another example of how society has convinced people to turn away from God and his commandments. Very sad.
Saving It Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 09:36:31 (PDT)

AC Dropout,

I said no to him over and over and its like he didn't care. It was like he was ignoring me on purpose. Now I am too afraid to leave him. What if he does worse the next time? That really scares me alot. I want to leave but I am afraid of what would happen. I am only 20 and he is 35 years old. Hes so much smarter than me and what if he tries to kill me?
liza Monday, July 08, 2002 at 14:38:44 (PDT)

LIZA

Well it was very wrong of what he did to you. It was rape in every sense of the word. I personally feel very sorry for what happened.

My advice is to take on the mentality that it was a forced sexual encounter. Most woman dont want to deal with rape charges and i understand that. If you do press charges then be prepared for a horrifying battle.

Since i totally empasize with you and understand what you are going through. Personally, i would move on. Shit happens. It dont make it ok at all. It doesnt matter if you had sex with him before or if he was your boyfried. I think you have a good chance of winning if you pursue this in court. However it would be very very hard and he will only be charged with sexual sodomy and not likly rape.

If you dont want to deal with it, confront him with few friends and tell him it was wrong what he did and let him know.

It doesnt make you any less of a person. The victim is never at fault. Some people think the girl is dirty after the act, but i dont think that at all. If you were my GF, i would love you every bit as much as before. It wont make any difference to me. You are not dirty becacause he attacked you.
Have a survivor mentality. Stuff like this happens to everyone. I hope whatever road you choose, its not your fault. People still loves you and remeber in life "you reap what you sow" something is comming to that guy sooner or later, be sure of it, justice always prevails.

Take care and god bless.

SOG (AM) Monday, July 08, 2002 at 12:30:28 (PDT)

AC Dropout:

Ob Gyns are capable of regenerating a hymen if a woman feels self conscious of it. hehehehheheee
Workaholic Ob Gyn Monday, July 08, 2002 at 10:35:23 (PDT)

Liza,
When a girl is dating a guy, she is his property. He had the right to your soul. He has had the right all along? So what made that one situation any different? So he got a bit excited. So what? What man wouldn't get excited with a girl in his bedroom?
Todd your mentor Monday, July 08, 2002 at 06:55:55 (PDT)

liza,

If you said "No" to him, then it is considered non-consentual sex. However, if you go to the authorities with this, the events of that day will be made public.

Good luck and best wishes
AC dropout Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 18:03:43 (PDT)

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