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YOUR FIRST TIME
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:10:11 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

How old were you when you had your first true sexual experience beyond petting?
Under 13 | 4%
13-15 | 16%
16-18 | 36%
19-21 | 21%
Over 21 | 23%

Which one of the following best describes your first true sexual experience beyond petting?
Full intercourse | 47%
Being masturbated | 19%
Masturbating my partner | 13%
Receiving oral sex | 12%
Giving oral sex | 9%

How did your first sexual experience come about?
We both wanted it. | 52%
My partner pushed me into it. | 33%
I pushed my partner into it. | 11%
My first partner was a prostitute. | 4%

What's your biggest regret about your first sexual experience?
I wish it had been with a different partner. | 35%
I wish I had waited until later. | 23%
I wish I had done it earlier. | 2%
I wish it had been more enjoyable. | 23%
I have no regret. | 17%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
First of all I`m not asian but Latino american girl, last year I went to US for college and I met this guy from Taiwan, therefore I became his roommate but I didn`t know him very well so we start dating and hanging around more often, I started to like him very much...well, for my own misfortune one night he came back home pretty drunk I guess and he went straight to my room where I was already sleeping and you know the rest.
Yes, the bastard raped me, I couldn`t move becuz he was so strong and heavy, man, I got extremely traumatic afterward...I had to go to several places seeking help for rape victims..
I got abortion also, since I got pregnant of him and his family got lost, no one would even look at what happend...they think it was my fault and that I seduced him! so damn funny!, huh?
Life can be so weird! yet still I feel his dirty hands on me, every time I have nightmares about it.

I left that place of course and I came back home, I never pressed charges on him, I feel pity, that asian pig must be rolling over like a goddamn dog looking for rape others for sure...
Is there in Taiwan any place that offers help for rapists like that one?

It`s been long time, but I trust destiny will burn him and make him scream until he dies slowly and very painfully for what he did!!!!!!!!!
Alejandra age_of_empires21@yahoo.com    Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 17:17:04 (PST)    [66.50.3.31]
Ruth,
Next time that happens again. Stop and yell out "I have AIDS" and puke. I am confident to say that when he see's that, he will leave you alone. This an defense mechanisim that women in general use.
lokiloki    Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 14:13:03 (PST)    [162.83.150.79]
Ruth, if i was your male relative that man would definitely lose his life in a gruesome way.
abc guy    Friday, November 01, 2002 at 18:15:38 (PST)    [65.184.91.9]
Ruth it isn't all your fault. true you should have been much more careful but what that guy did to you is wrong. Cantonese Flower is some kinda nympho psycho - she is dead wrong it is possible to control oneself. she is almost justifying the rape. that guy deserves to get castrated. you must press charges to make him pay for what he did and to stop him from doing it again to other women.
ABC guy    Friday, November 01, 2002 at 18:14:26 (PST)    [65.184.91.9]
To Ruth:
I agree with "short asian girl" and "Yaomin" and others. You should press charges against him because (amongst other things) that might prevent him from attempting to sexually assault and/or rape another victim. You don't have to feel bad about yourself, it's not your fault although you should have been more careful. Try also to pick your acquaintances more carefully the next time... and don't drink when you're upset. There is this French saying: "You cannot drown sadness in alcohol because it knows how to swim." I've read messages from a couple of girls to whom something similar has happenned on some other internet forums and they've got over it, so I hope that you do to. Good luck!
eastern-european girl    Friday, November 01, 2002 at 14:49:50 (PST)    [64.228.57.60]
cantonese flower, SOG and "sympathetic":

cantonese flower I could go on for pages about how f***ed in the head you are but I won't even bother. Your idiocy speaks for itself.

SOG- "Good girls don't go to bars" What kind of crap is that? Is this 1950? Good girls do whatever they damn well feel like, including going out drinking with friends. Don't even begin to insinuate that this was Ruth's fault. Yes a woman should be aware of her surroundings, trust her instincts, carry pepper spray and not take rides from strangers- but guess what- people make mistakes. She made a mistake. That man committed a CRIME.

Sympathetic- We females are fragile and weak-minded are we? Why don't you go out and get raped and see how you feel about it afterwards, and we'll say "Sigh you're so fragile and weak-minded" signed- Sympathetic.

AC Dropout and short asian girl, thank GOD there are some sane and caring people on here.

Ruth- be strong, get the help you need, don't blame yourself. Just try to be more careful in the future and be a lot less trusting.
strong female    Friday, November 01, 2002 at 12:00:26 (PST)    [207.183.117.60]
To just a question,

You wrote:

"it's [female circumcision]never to harm the daughter, just to protect her from experiences which are needless. And only because MALES are so randy."

Female circumcision is done to oppress women. Fathers get it done to their daughter to be socially acceptable. It's about status, not about protecting the daughter. Women who do not get it done are seen as loose or dirty.

Circumcision does harm the woman because it interferes with her awareness of that part of her body. It's medically unnecessary. The reason fathers make their daughter do it is to prevent them from experiencing sexual pleasure. So that means that everytime the woman has sex, she gets no pleasure. During sex, the woman becomes the servant and it is all about pleasing her man.

How does circumcision protect her from getting raped? It doesn't. If pregnancy is a concern, there are more effective ways to prevent that. Circumcision does not prevent pregnancy.

You're saying that sex is a "needless experience" for women. Well, that is a woman's right to choose. Who are you to say what a woman can do with her body? Who is anyone to say that? So, I guess sex is a necessary experience for men? Please.

If some males are randy, then they need to learn self control. Why is it up to women to take care of birth control? Those men need to control themselves. We're not cavemen anymore.

To Cantonese Flower,

You wrote: "You gave that guy the signal that it was okay to take it."

I guess accepting a ride from someone means that you want sex.

"Men cannot control the body and they cannot help it. Temptation is something that humans cannot control."

Men can control their body if they discipline their minds. Temptation can be controlled in the same way.

"Now look what has occured. He took from you and now you feel ashame. It is not his fault you feel ashame? No."

Yes, it is his fault. Stop blaming the victim.

"Men take it away because it is in the nature."

So, you're saying that it is in the nature of all men to rape. I don't think so. You need to stop blaming the victim and learn compassion. We all need to have enough integrity to respect those who are weak. Just because you can beat up a handicapped person does not mean you are justified. Aggressors need to face the consequences of their actions.
js    Friday, November 01, 2002 at 11:38:31 (PST)    [63.199.246.219]
Yaomin,SPRNZ,short asian girl,
Thankyou all so much. You made me feel a whole lot better with your encouragement. I have written down the information on the SAHAP. I am hoping that my university has that program. Sometimes I feel like I really need someone to talk to about it. Then sometimes, I just can't face the whole thing. Thanks again.

Cantonese Flower,
I realize that I am partly responsible. I did drink, and yes I went out to a club. I realize that. My worst fear of talking to people about my situation is encountering ones like you.
Ruth    Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 12:01:46 (PST)    [64.12.96.70]
Ruth's story was pretty depressing. And I'm a dude too! Sigh... females... so fragile and weak-minded, yet they want the world by the balls. To all the strong minded women here, good for you.
Sympathetic    Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 16:16:03 (PST)    [128.253.186.46]
Cantonese Flower,

" When woman is attacked she must take the responsible way."

" She should be more careful how of her action are."

Yeah. Right!. Would you tell me, how the responsible way that you gonna take?. You have no idea how was it feel being attacked and got raped.

Yaomin:

Very good contribution to Ruth. I agree with you.

Ruth,

Find " Sexual Assault and Harrasment Awareness Program" (SAHAP). Look them up, check it at your University if they have this program. Go student affair and ask about the program, don't be shy to ask about this program or you're gonna regret it. This program gonna help you get your confidence back . You're not alone Ruth many girls out there had bad experience similiar like you, even worst. I almost got raped twice and I joined to SAHAP. They help me and other girls to facing the fear also get the confidence back. So if you find the SAHAP join in Ruth.
SPRNZ    Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 11:38:23 (PDT)    [210.195.54.36]
When a woman is attacked she must take the responsible way. I am not saying Ruth is bad. I am only saying she should be more careful of how her actions are.
cantonese flower    Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 07:45:09 (PDT)    [64.12.96.70]
Ruth,

First of all don't listen to the people that are saying it's your fault... to study harder?!?! WTF is that? I feel so much for you... I have had a bad experience similar to that one... I know how it must be... the pain you are in!
First, press charges! You are allowed to say no and he has to respect that!! It's your body not his. You don't have to give him ALL! You are NOT a slut and you are not an object. You are an intelligent female that was in a bad situation. Girl- you better not blame yourself! I wish I could be there to knock some sense into you... You were the victim and the guy must be punished. Not all men do this to women and it is not "in their nature" as 'cantonese flower' said. She obviously has no experience with men whatsoever! Like 'short asian girl' said, they do it for the power trip-- it makes them feel strong and in-control. Make him pay for what he has done to you!

There are some places that can help you out and put confidence back into your step. Look them up. Tell your parents or a close friend... even your boyfriend should care for you in this hard time. If your bf dosent give a after you tell him, seriously dump his sorry ass if it has not been done already.

So, press charges/sue them and then feel good about yourself! Good luck my dear! With much love-
Yaomin    Thursday, October 10, 2002 at 19:43:21 (PDT)    [216.221.32.221]
cantonese flower,

Ruth did NOT give him the signal that she was ok with it if she didn't want it from him. USE YOUR NOGGIN! why else would he force himself on her?? Because she brushed aside his advances that's why!!

YOU are the one that needs to do more research. Rapists don't rape because they want sex. They rape because of the power and the vulnerability they inflict on the victim.

Dude, you are telling a person who got raped, who is blaming herself already and feels so cheap, abused, and dirty at this point. Are you a closemined sex-crazed idiot?

Get a brain!
...and a heart while you're at it.

Ruth,

Don't blame yourself for being raped. Sure there was some irresponsibility on your part, but you stated:

He said he only did it because I wouldn't give it to him. Its all my fault.


It's not! You didn't want it, so he forced himself on you. HE'S the monster. Not you. Stop blaming yourself for getting raped and just be more careful from now on. Does your boyfriend now what happened? Whatever happens,
YOU ARE NOT A SLUT.
He deserves to be crotch-kicked to the moon so that his genitilia will no longer function for that purpose.

Press charges on his sorry ass!!!
short asian girl    Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 03:48:35 (PDT)    [65.184.91.9]
I believe you should wait for the right person. I did wait until I was in love. He had experience before and now regrets it. People should just wait until the time is right. That way there will be no regrets.
nemesist13 sourdangergirl@hotmail.com    Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 10:15:59 (PDT)    [209.109.235.144]
Ruth

good girls dont go to bars.

lesson for ya. Anyway press charges against the SOB.
SOG    Monday, September 30, 2002 at 13:48:53 (PDT)    [128.193.5.190]
Ruth,
You should have been more careful. You gave that guy the signal that it was okay to take it. Men cannot control the body and they cannot help it. Temptation is something that humans cannot control. Now look what has occured. He took from you and now you feel ashame. It is not his fault you feel ashame? No. Men take it away because it is in the nature. Why don't you read a book on the mens sexuality and you can learn more what I am saying. You need to study harder.
cantonese flower    Sunday, September 29, 2002 at 08:41:30 (PDT)    [152.163.188.66]
Ruth,

I think you should go the the authorities and press charges.

Perhaps there was some poor judgement on your part. But getting rape should not be the normal result.
AC Dropout    Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 15:56:16 (PDT)    [24.90.98.143]
YoonMi,

female circumcision is only dangerous for people in the 3rd world. Even there a rich father can arrange it so that it's gonna be a painless operation in a clean hospital.

After all, it's never to harm the daughter, just to protect her from experiences which are needless. And only because MALES are so randy.
just a question    Monday, September 23, 2002 at 16:51:58 (PDT)    [193.159.24.63]
Some Guy,

You are obviously very experienced. You have peaked my curiousity. What experiences have you had? What can you teach me?
cantonese flower    Monday, September 23, 2002 at 13:45:45 (PDT)    [152.163.188.66]
I had a horrible weekend. My boyfriend and I argued. It felt like it was a break up. I decided I wasn't going to stay home and cry my eyes out over him anymore. I went out to a Merengue Club. I drank 2 margaritas. I am not really into drinking, and it ended up making me feel sick. I wound up throwing up in the bathroom. I then felt better after heaving it up. So I sat at a table and relaxed. A nice looking guy came up to me and started talking. I remembered him from my friends birthday party 1 year ago. We were just having a conversation about how he had just come back from Mexico and was having problems. Then the next thing I knew, some fat blonde girl had dumped water all over me. I didn't know what was going on. I found out from the security people that took her away, she must have been his girlfriend or something. So I had to go and dry off in the bathroom. Then I decided it was time for me to call a cab. The DJ, and club owner said not to worry about catching a cab. They said that I could get a ride from a friend of theirs. Well, I ended up getting raped. Right in front of my apartment. It was my fault. I should have never accepted the ride. Even though I knew the DJ and club owner and trusted their judgement. I feel like such a slut. I didn't want to have sex with that guy. I thought I was getting a ride home. I feel so sad. Now I am taking medications from the emergency room just in case that guy had given me infections. The medications are making me feel sick with nausea. That guy was so scary. He kept telling me that he loved me and wanted to marry me. After he raped me, he said that he was sorry and didn't mean to hurt me. He said he only did it because I wouldn't give it to him. Its all my fault.
Ruth    Monday, September 23, 2002 at 07:44:56 (PDT)    [205.188.208.135]
just a question,
You mean they cut it off? The clit? Yuck! I think that is dangerous. It also has to feel so painful!
YoonMi    Monday, September 23, 2002 at 05:12:28 (PDT)    [152.163.188.66]

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