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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
YOUR FIRST TIME
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:10:10 PM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
How old were you when you had your first true sexual experience beyond petting?
Under 13 |
4%
13-15 |
16%
16-18 |
36%
19-21 |
21%
Over 21 |
23%
Which one of the following best describes your first true sexual experience beyond petting?
Full intercourse |
47%
Being masturbated |
19%
Masturbating my partner |
13%
Receiving oral sex |
12%
Giving oral sex |
9%
How did your first sexual experience come about?
We both wanted it. |
52%
My partner pushed me into it. |
33%
I pushed my partner into it. |
11%
My first partner was a prostitute. |
4%
What's your biggest regret about your first sexual experience?
I wish it had been with a different partner. |
35%
I wish I had waited until later. |
23%
I wish I had done it earlier. |
2%
I wish it had been more enjoyable. |
23%
I have no regret. |
17%
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Girls
I hope you are all safe. The most productive tactic is prevention. Which is avoiding places and circumstances which may lead to trouble
bars, yes yes, alchoal severly effects the brain negativly. If you go, go with your husband or with a troup of friends, have back up and protection. As for the people who wish do to the contrary it is more dangerours for you.
Latino girl who got raped:
Sorry to hear that really. Next time be more careful (I am not saying it is your fault) girls, you have to protect yourselves. Dont be naieve practice prevntative and antirape tactics. Practice makes perfect.
girls girls girls. You know bars are chalk full of losers. If you want to relax do it at home, there is other places which you might expect too. Lock your doors get a wooden hedge for your door cheap and extremely effective at blocking access to open your door.
Get a knife and pepper spray at put it in your purse or beside your bed, Pracetice using it!!!.
I hope that helps. Remember the best self defense tactic is prevention.
as for the victims, think like a survivor. you will get through this. Yes I hope those rapists burn in hell slowly for eternity, (they will too).
God will give u all justice.
SOG
Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 21:50:38 (PST)
[216.239.163.217]
eastern-european girl,
how about the good old civilised conversation before getting married instead of chaotic (sexual) "adventures"...
Rape and seduction don't have anything to do with sadism. I believe that most rapists are losers without certain social skills, nothing more, nothing less. Those whom I dislike are boy-"friends" trying to force young women to sexual intercourse. I think they must be schizophrenic since most of them try to look like "nice guys", obviously they aren't. It's best when people are honest to each other from the beginning.
The media...they won't change for the next years: they will continue applying pressure on "old-fashioned" people like me. However, adults can still train conversation about serious intimate matters.
just a question
Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 17:23:22 (PST)
[62.158.89.103]
js,
as you can hopefully see, I'm not the a fan of this topic, either. But honestly, I consider pre-marital intercourse IN THE CONTEMPORARY WESTERN SOCIETY as an anti-female act. There are many cases in which neither the judges nor the female victims would not talk about "rape", but "seduction", a "necessary" experience. Actually, in big cities 30% or so of all young (unmarried) city-dweller have genital diseases due to premarital intercourse. How do women react? They are the victims of horny men in 99% of all cases but they mostly accept it!?!
Cirumcision is just a way to an alternative lifestyle. Lots of people have done it in the past. The aim is NOT to mutilate, but to be symbolic. If you hate symbols of chastity you will be against circumcision. Other people feel "mutilated" if they have one little scar in the face. If it doesn't work that way we will have to have castration laws. But be sure that I'm one of very few men who are against seduction.
Regarding the rapists: it's a sad fact that rapists are protected by the police. But in general, women should be more aware of the possibility of situations in which they must defend themselves.
just a question
Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 17:01:15 (PST)
[62.158.89.103]
Thank you for your most sincere support ABC guy and the others but honestly I feel so depressed sometimes I really wish to kill myself, I do not hate Taiwanese men or asian men at all...not everybody is guilty, perhaps my beauty is damned maybe me, maybe I just got bad luck, what`s so terrible for me is that I lost my purity and I hate him for that! I wish I could be dead by now!
Alejandra age_of_empires21@yahoo.com
Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 09:47:55 (PST)
[66.50.2.196]
"...men enjoy intercourse with uncircumsized women..."
Hmmm???? Female "circumsition"? Doesn't that equal female genital mutilation? That's a practice that's severly critisized as far as I know. Besides, I don't see the point and purpose of it. Women have to protect their bodies and their general health so that when they decide to have children, they have easy risk-free pregnancies and non-complicative delivery. I don't see how any forcible surgical intrusion that's moreover very un-natural and un-necessary could potentially bring any benefit to this. And one of the life goals of many women (obviously not all but that's understandable, everyone has different preferences) is to someday be able to have children. So women should take every care to ensure that their bodies are well and healthy, and not bother with stupid "sexual" matters like FGM.
"It would be easier for men to learn self control if women give them some more signs to do so. One sign is: "It won't be as much fun as you expected it to be." (It can be expressed by voluntary circumcision.)"
So you mean to say that WOMEN have to get the most sensitive parts of their bodies mutilated in order FOR GUYS to respect and uphold women's sexual autonomy? What kind of twisted logic is that? Are you from the Taliban or something? Girl, women have a right to have their sexual autonomy respected no matter what! And it's the guy's problem to deal with how they will control their urges; they don't have the right to gain sexual satisfaction at the cost of someone else's suffering. It's as simple as that. If you have a need to reprimand women, maybe you should suggest that they do not wear fashions which are extremely scant and "slutty" (forgive me for using the term but I cannot think of anything else right now), in short, clothes that could be interpreted to be extremely
provocative. But that's about as far as it goes.
"If you have any other idea how to make men learn gaining more self control tell it."
How about teaching them to be understanding and caring about other people's feelings. From the time that they are children (and children in general should be taught this, not just boys). If children are taught to learn empathy, they will be able to understand how the other person's feeling because they will be able to put themselves into that other person's position. If they are taught from the beginning, as children, that they need to be caring and kind to other living beings (not just humans but animals also) because they wouldn't want to be that being and suffer its pain, then I think they will grow up having that moral value and they will be much less likely to commit an act such as rape or sexual assault because it will be against their values. It can even be such a simple example as when a little kid is hurting a little animal, the parent or other guardian should step in and say "Don't do that! How do you think that little creature is feeling when you do that to it? How would you feel if you were that little creature and were being stepped on/hurt (etc. etc.)?" You have to guide children as they grow up so that they themselves will realize this and will not want to attain satisfaction from hurting other people/living beings, but will instead realize that this is wrong. It's part of your job as a parent. In an article called "Gendered Media: The Influence of Media on Views of Gender", written by a lady called Julia T. Wood (it was published in the Annual Editions Social Psychology 97/98 yearly) it is written that one of the facts of rape is that "The incidence of rape varies across cultures. It is highest in societies with ideologies of male dominance and a disregard for nature; it is lowest in cultures that respect women and feminine values (Griffin, 1981)." Okay, I don't know how credible or truthful that is, but I find it quite believable. I think that it's logical that if you grow up with a learned respect and concern for other living beings and for nature, then you will also have respect towards women and other people. So, to sum it up, children and people should be taught to have respect towards each other and to be considerate and have empathy towards other living beings, whether humans or animals. That would be an important part of it, I believe.
Having said all of this, I admit that I didn't read all of your conversation with "js", in fact I only read this reply of yours (if I read something previous to that I don't recall it right now), so I might have misunderstood something in your post or be missing some information. But sorry, your post just prompted me to respond. So I hope that you won't be mad that I interrupted your conversation with "js" and I hope that you will understand my position.
Good-bye!
eastern-european girl
Monday, November 04, 2002 at 19:57:21 (PST)
[64.228.36.82]
About the "good girls don't go to bars" thing,
I already saw a few people mention that... What are you people thinking? Not everyone that goes to a bar wants to get laid! I am not talking about any particular situations, but me and some girlfriends go to bars sometimes (and we all have bf's) to drink a little stress away and have a good time... Does that mean we are bad?? Jeez...
Alejandra,
OMG you poor thing!! Did you ever end up pressing charges? No guy has the right to do that, drunk or not, it's still a crime! I hope that you buy some pepper spray and take some defense classes to be able to kick butt if anyone ever tries to do anything to you again! We have to be prepared... And I hope you don't and hate all Asian guys after. (even if it would be a normal reaction) In my bad experience the guy was a non-Asian and my current bf is Asian and he's really sweet so it depends on the person, not where they come from. Stay strong!
Yaomin
Monday, November 04, 2002 at 19:18:04 (PST)
[216.221.33.179]
Okay. I have a question for the brain scientists here. If your boyfriend wants sex and take it away from you. Is it his right to take it? This happened to me before yes. I did not hide and cry about it. I remain strong and realize that he is my boyfriend. He is a man. Why would I press charges with police on my boyfriend? Do you see what I mean? It contradict itself. Its not a two way street or an open door.
cantonese flower
Monday, November 04, 2002 at 14:56:32 (PST)
[64.12.96.70]
just a question,
You wrote: "I was talking about MALES seducing young virgins and boy-"friends" who force girls to have more sexual intercourse than 'necessary'. It is scientifically clear that men enjoy intercourse with uncircumsized women rather than with cicumsized ones."
Where is the evidence? Even so, women are not obligated to get circumcised. You put the entire responsibility on the woman. The only person responsible for the rape is the rapist.
"It would be easier for men to learn self control if women give them some more signs to do so. One sign is: "It won't be as much fun as you expected it to be." (It can be expressed by voluntary circumcision.)"
No means no. There is nothing else for a woman to say besides no. If the man can't understand that, then he deserves to be castrated. What is it with all these games that you want women to play? Even if a woman says "it won't be as much fun", the man may still rape her. How is a man supposed to detect circumcision unless he has intercourse? Is there some sort of radar that men have to detect that?
You are pro rape and anti-female. I really don't understand why you are such a strong proponent of female circumcision. All it does is mutilate one's body.
js
Monday, November 04, 2002 at 14:03:40 (PST)
[63.199.242.164]
I have to agree with SOG, that "good girls don't go to bars". It's true that if a guy want to find a good girls, he shouldn't find one in bars. Those are the wild one's that you can't commit yourself too. Those girls there just look for guys to sleep around with. And the guys are there for the same reason. So if anyone want to find true love, "don't go to clubs or bar", it's only a place to hang-out, have fun and get laid. True love equals, go to a decent place, where people can take you seriously. Ruth, it's shouldn't being surprising that thing like this can happen to you. You go to bar with heavy drinker,what do you expect. Just becareful next time, and take care.
one who knows
Monday, November 04, 2002 at 07:58:57 (PST)
[162.83.150.79]
Alejandra: the rapist was Taiwanese? damn... a disgrace to my people. i wish you pressed charges there is no excuse for rape even if the bastard was drunk.
ABC guy
Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 19:36:56 (PST)
[65.184.91.9]
js,
I was talking about MALES seducing young virgins and boy-"friends" who force girls to have more sexual intercourse than "necessary". It is scientifically clear that men enjoy intercourse with uncircumsized women rather than with cicumsized ones.
"If some males are randy, then they need to learn self control. Why is it up to women to take care of birth control? Those men need to control themselves. We're not cavemen anymore.":
It would be easier for men to learn self control if women give them some more signs to do so. One sign is: "It won't be as much fun as you expected it to be." (It can be expressed by voluntary circumcision.) If you have any other idea how to make men learn gaining more self control tell it. A kick into the man's groin is often not enough.
Anyway, I've no problem to admit that I had severe problems with my peers because of this topic. But I survived as a virgin and I just want to support other people who want to remain virgins (until marriage) if they lack the self-esteem to do so proudly.
just a question
Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 17:14:19 (PST)
[62.158.90.24]
ALejandra,
That really sucks. I don't blame you if can't ever trust Asian men again. You're only human after all. But try to keep in mind that not every Asian man is a rapist, just like not all black men are rappers and gangbangers, and not every white man is a clean-cut, J Crew preppy guy.
Thats too bad...
Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 20:34:36 (PST)
[128.253.186.46]
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