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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
YOUR FIRST TIME
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:10:08 PM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
How old were you when you had your first true sexual experience beyond petting?
Under 13 |
4%
13-15 |
16%
16-18 |
36%
19-21 |
21%
Over 21 |
23%
Which one of the following best describes your first true sexual experience beyond petting?
Full intercourse |
47%
Being masturbated |
19%
Masturbating my partner |
13%
Receiving oral sex |
12%
Giving oral sex |
9%
How did your first sexual experience come about?
We both wanted it. |
52%
My partner pushed me into it. |
33%
I pushed my partner into it. |
11%
My first partner was a prostitute. |
4%
What's your biggest regret about your first sexual experience?
I wish it had been with a different partner. |
35%
I wish I had waited until later. |
23%
I wish I had done it earlier. |
2%
I wish it had been more enjoyable. |
23%
I have no regret. |
17%
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
I still think there is no excuse to come here and belittle each other. I think we should respond to each other in a civil adult fashion. As far as premarital sex? I think one should wait. I for one plan to wait until I am married. Waiting makes it very special.
truthfully
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 08:17:04 (PST)
[205.188.208.135]
SOG,
Some States are not allowed to have one of those puppies or others. In what State are you living? I just moved to MI, I don't know if MI allowed to have one of those puppies.
Many people used that for the wrong purposes. You heard the breaking news, shooting here and there recently.
I can play their game too if I wanna it to. Blow some brains out. No problem. But the sad thing is my name already black listed, b'cuz those MFker. Now no matter I do become a good person, can't erased that black permanent marker. :(
Give me a damn lawyer. Before they give you a lawyer, the chief officer will interviewed and asked a million questions that would blow your mind. :(
" Chopped...chopped!!...with fork or chopstick?". :) Oh no!! :(
God, give us mercy. Amen. (^_^)
SPRNZ
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 07:47:56 (PST)
[210.195.54.90]
"Thank you for your most sincere support ABC guy and the others but honestly I feel so depressed sometimes I really wish to kill myself, I do not hate Taiwanese men or asian men at all...not everybody is guilty, perhaps my beauty is damned maybe me, maybe I just got bad luck, what`s so terrible for me is that I lost my purity and I hate him for that! I wish I could be dead by now!"
Well Alejandra,
I basically think you have two choices. (coincidentally it happens to be the same number as that what SOG has suggested). You can
1.) let this rule your life, or
2.) decide and/or realize that there are better and more relevant factors to determine who you are and what is your worth as a person. Then act on them. For example, you might be talented in some field, why not try to rediscover your old passions and hobbies and then engage in them? You mentioned that you came to the US to study in a university (I think). Not all girls have a chance to come and study abroad, you're probably a smart person with good academic standing. Isn't that something already? Maybe you're good in some field, maybe art, maybe music, maybe science, why not try to think of that as your worth, something that you're special in? You have to realize your self worth and get back your self-esteem. That is important. Bad things happen to everyone in some form or another, some are less harsh than others, but the point is to overcome those bad things and find courage and joy in new life, not to brood over misfortunes that may befall on us. Otherwise, they might in the end get you, don't you think? We have a saying (I'm not sure if it's limited to only where I come from or if it's worldwide, I really don't know) "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." As with all generalizations, it's not always true and can be faulty, but I think sometimes, like in this case, it applies well.
Rubin Carter (I'm not sure how to spell his name because I've never seen it in print), the boxer who got wrongfully convicted and spend nineteen years in jail for a murder he didn't commit, says "At a point in time, that anger must be transcended, the anger must become action; cause when you're angry, you can't think right, you can't sleep right, you can't eat right, you can't work right, you can't do anything right when you're angry. So therefore, the anger must dissipate and action, positive action must take its place." (It's from a news documentary on a case of possible wrongful conviction in Canada, just in case anyone's wondering). The purpose of rape is to cause harm. If you let this bad experience act upon you and cause you further suffering, it's almost like you have allowed the guy who caused it to succeed because his intention to harm has managed to successfully destroy you as a person. But if you'll find the courage in yourself to get over this and start a new, better life, you have won. Because then you can say to yourself: "I am a strong woman, and
no matter what bad intentions someone might have had with me in the past, I will not let them deter me from trying to make my life happy and live it to the fullest. Even though bad things might have happenned to me and some bad people might have crossed my path, I will not let them and these bad experiences rule and dictate my life. I will choose to make my life happy and those bad intentions will not destroy my positive spirit". Ivana Trump says: "Success is the best revenge". (Okay, she may be a rich "gold digger" like some people here would probably say, but her point is quite fit). So - if you succeed in overcoming this difficult time and hardship and get back at your feet, it will be the best way to "get back" at the guy who caused you all of this suffering. Because then you will have "shown him" that you will not let his bad intentions have an impact on you and that his attempt to hurt you was useless and unsucessful. That you can still live a happy life because you're a strong girl. This might seem drastic, but YOU AND ONLY YOU have to find the strength and courage to get over this hardship. No one else can make that decision for you. Where you get the inspiration from, that's up to you. Maybe books, maybe friends, maybe family, maybe nature, maybe your inner self. That's where other people can help, I think. If you have depression, maybe you can check out some kind of counselling support, like a psychologist or therapist; they might be able to help.
And why do you want to kill yourself? What did you do wrong? Don't be silly, you don't know what good things might be waiting for you in the future. Maybe someday you will meet a really nice and caring guy who will treat you with respect and dignity, you'll fall in love, get married and have a happy family...... and then when you'll look back at this time, it will just seem to you like a bad dream. Then you will be happy that you didn't kill yourself. Life is full of surprises, you know; you never know when something good might be waiting to meet you. Would you want to destroy your potential future happiness because of one jerk that has happenned to cross your path?
Well, that's about it for me... sorry it is so long. I hope that I was able to help you somehow. I also hope (and wish) that all rape victims will be able to successfuly recover. Be strong! And think about the positive influences in your life. That is very important.
To you Alejandra: best of luck! I hope you are able to recover and have a happier future. Adios...
eastern-european girl
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 22:56:25 (PST)
[64.228.35.34]
"People Think"
But think about the way rape occurs in prisons. If it were about lust and not about power, why don't the guys just have it off with each other by mutual consent? Why is it usually a gang of bigger guys beating, raping and humiliating a weaker one? This is obviously about power. Otherwise they'd just be keeping themselves happy by having orgies.
Anyway, normal, emotionally healthy males wouldn't enjoy sex unless their partner was enjoying it too.
Person Thinking
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 22:34:49 (PST)
[144.132.5.8]
To "People think":
Seriously? And what factual justification have you to support your claims?
If the pretext for rape is sexual desire and urges, hormones, etc., then how come NOT ALL GUYS DO IT?? I.E. How come these hormones and urges seem to have their impact only on the selected "few"?? After all, they're all physically males, with male biology, which should then have relatively similar effects on males 'across the board', wouldn't you agree?
And what does feminism and pro-liberalism actually have to do with rape? Up to now, I thought that rape was not tied to politics, at least not until politics starts to indoctrinate and educate people about how they should behave and think. Are you trying to unveil here the evilness of rape or push your own political propaganda forward?
Besides, I don't think that male animal species will rape each other during the mating season if they don't have any other choice of mate, not like in the case that you've described. At least I've never heard about such things happenning. I think that mating with the same sex is highly un-natural in most animal species (I've never heard of animal species with "gay" mating patterns, maybe such a thing exists, who knows...I might be missing out on something, but I've never heard about that). And I think that in animals, 'biology' has a stronger effect on sexual behaviour than in humans, which have critical thinking and REASON to their disposition (and that is what separates humans and animals).
So, the gist of this is, I don't agree with your opinions. Maybe in some males with faulty genes and possibly other psychiatric illnesses hormones may play a role, but that's for psychiatrists and neural scientists to figure out. Care to support your statements with further factual information?
eastern-european girl
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 15:13:36 (PST)
[64.228.37.16]
js,
well, if you're a WF in a Western community you don't have that relationship to symbols.
However, I would kick those men out of the circle of my family who seduce a circumcised virgin. This has nothing to do with rape. Rape is a phenomenon of war. The media produce sex-centered idiots whose hobby is raping virgins.
As long as there the "legal" guys seduce the illegal guys will go on with rape. Both are anti-female. But I have the impression that you don't blame the seducers. Remind yourself that the biggest seducers are dictators, too.
non-cantonese AM
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:31:29 (PST)
[62.158.89.94]
SPRNZ
you speak 7 languages? wow that is some talent there
pardon me for asking but why are you a tae kwon do sensi? thats a waste of your talent.
Just my 2 cents.
FYI hapas are awesome. as for support groups try eurasiannation dot com
SOG
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 13:05:46 (PST)
[128.193.169.84]
people think
OH yeah I agree, most males are capable of doing that kind of stuff, they dont have a internal backbone and will fold whenever their evil desires overtake them.
But take heart, in the bible it mentioned there was not one rightous person, NOT ONE. But God took care of that. There will be justice sooner or later. be assured of that.
We need more women in places of power becuase the men are doing poor jobs of governing the ppl
SOG
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 10:13:22 (PST)
[128.193.4.98]
SOG
Thank you for your pure support about all this, yet still those comments doesn`t make any difference in me, and I`m not a lowlife latino girl (whose father is Japanese) Im mixed but I rather call me self latino becuz I think I look more warm and friendly than any asian girl. who said latino girls are fightcats? criminals? sluts? you, asian woman becuz you envy whoever is not like you!!! I never said I got raped becuz I wasn`t asian! Did I? watch your mouth!! you really enjoy hurting people, do you? anyways your opinions about me just reflect me how much you hate us (the mixed people) and if I am victim of a very unfair rape by a asian man which I was dating before that doesn`t give you the right to speak out all kinds of blasphemy against me, I am Latina, I was raised in bicultural life and for some reason, I`m always being attracted to AM`s but since that happend to me, I feel very closed and depressed, yet again I told about my outlooks might be responsable of what happend to me or just bad luck at that time...who knows.. I always knew he was really attracted to me about everything, but S***t I wish I could be ugly, so no man can look at me anymore!!!!!!!!!!
Alejandra
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:21:10 (PST)
[66.50.22.81]
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