Love & Romance | Asian American Poll

LOVE & ROMANCE
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:09:49 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

How did you meet the love of your life?
School, college or grad/professional school | 30%
At work | 25%
Through friends or family | 27%
Online | 10%
Other | 8%

Which of the following was the most important factor in convincing you that s/he was the love of your life?
It was just love at first sight. | 26%
We share an interest in so many things. | 23%
S/he seems to understand me better than anyone I met. | 20%
I came to admire her/his character and integrity. | 31%

Which of the following poses the biggest challenge to staying together?
Being taken for granted | 35%
Temperamental differences | 23%
Cultural differences | 13%
Desire for sexual variety | 1%
Our age difference | 14%
Long-distance romance | 14%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

I want to know how white people judge Japanese female: bad? good? ok? great? wonderful? excellent? terrible? I'm wondering what kind of things do they think they know about Japanese girls. I don't know about other Asian groups, but I think that the majority of relationships with white men and Japanese girls, the white men don't know how the girls really are. I'm not sure if it is whether white people just don't want to now, or, they don't care. If somebody thinks white people can have the perfect relationship IT IS WRONG! I don't beleive everything I see in the movies or on TV.
Princess of Country hisato@classified.co.jp Saturday, August 04, 2001 at 05:53:43 (PDT)

Bridget,

What an English-sounding name! That's gotta be the WASPy-est sounding name I've ever heard! =P All joking aside, I think a romantic thing to do would be to plan a great day. If it's on a weekend, plan a trip to a bed and breakfast. Make reservation ahead of time, without his knowing it of course. You should ideally book the bed and breakfast in the country/near the ocean/lake, etc., so you can enjoy a nice romantic stroll by yourselves. In addition to the gift you might buy each other, a peaceful, relaxing weekend getaway is a greata idea.
Happy Anniversary! Wednesday, July 25, 2001 at 23:49:08 (PDT)

I want to find out some good ideas for me and my boyfriend's frist anniversay
Bridget Davis supasweets@hotmail.com Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 11:01:57 (PDT)

The person calling others a "moron" should himself learn how to read. This is for Asian American relationships. It does NOT say AA relationships with OTHER AA only.
I am a "white dude" or WM ;) that has never been attracted to Asians until recently. Admittingly they are a bit shy, but are much more caring and warm then any other women I have ever dated. This, above all, I find attractive and believe that this is the reason I will marry an AA one day. =)

hopeful and openminded Friday, July 06, 2001 at 20:36:52 (PDT)

The way I met my wife was very simple:

I saw her reading a magazine on one of my favorite hobbies. I said "Hello there. Are you into this too?" and that was it.
Another WM Married to a Wonderful AF Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 12:15:14 (PDT)

I'm not sure if white dudes are "yapping" about how great their asian wives are, but I'd sure like to hear more from white guys how they met/approached asian girls so I can learn hehe.
JJK Tuesday, June 12, 2001 at 18:48:04 (PDT)

Hey AA male 21,
let these guys express what they want, after all this is a love and romance forum and it doesn't say anywhere that it's exclusively for asians.
K-C Tuesday, June 12, 2001 at 01:09:27 (PDT)

ok, I'm getting sick of white dudes yapping about how great their Asian wives are, etc. etc. This forum is about AA relationships, isn't it? These white folk need to understand that their posts are for the AM/WF or AF/WM forums.... morons. So, enough talk about trophy Asian wives... more AAs need to share their experiences of AA dating. I met my Korean gf thru family and friends. Although I first abhorred the idea of being "set-up", things really clicked between us, and I even got a kiss on the first date =). The biggest drawback with dating an Asian woman is that they are very emotional and moody (in comparison to non-Asians), as well as being difficult and sometimes childish, but being with a beautiful woman who is culturally and spiritually similar as I am far outweighs those negatives. Admittedly, I am more Americanized (or simply "white" as she jokingly calls it), so we have our little spats. For example, she thinks I'm too sexually agressive. I think she is too conservative. But these are problems that can be worked out thru compromises on both sides.
AA Male, 21

Chi-Town, get out of that situation as fast as you can. You deserve better.

I'm a Chinese American female and I met my husband in Chinese 101 during my freshman year in college (in med school now -- I was taking that class for easy credits - got more than I bargained for LOL). He's of Turkish ethnicity, but he grew up in Germany. We started out as friends first and I was afraid that the "cultural differences" would cause problems so I did not allow our friendship to develop into a relationship for a long time. Sometimes things take their own course, so we ended up dating for 4 years and now we're married. So far, no cultural problems yet (despite my parents insisting that they will pop up anytime LOL -- we've been married for almost 2 years)! I just want to encourage people, Asian and non-Asian, to explore all possibilities because you might miss out on someone really interesting if you let mental blocks govern your behavior :).
Openminded

My wife and I met at a club in the where she was supposed to be meeting another date, only he didn't show up! We ended up having a long conversation on everything from religion to politics to sex (yeah, the three no-nos!). We dated for two years after that before sealing the deal and have been married just over three years.
Lucky WM married to Intelligent, Vibrant AF

How AA romances start and end...
with a pinch on the butt and then a slap on the face!!! THE END
tan_supaman@hotmail.com

My husband says he fell in love with my smile. Then, my integrity, and my features and physique. sweet right? Tht's why I love him; a man who falls in love with something that could hardly be replicate by someone else. Anyone can smile, but how you smile is uniquely YOURS.
JJ Augusta

     To Ja-Caucasian female married to a Chinese-Caucasian male :
     That's so romantic with the candles and all, I'll keep that in mind for something I would consider doing in the future... hehe... I'm a Chinese-Caucasian male and I had a short relationship with a Japanese-Caucasian female. It didn't work-out after I found-out that she was already married.
     I had no idea! I was in my 2nd yr of college... and she was in one of my classes. :( I don't know if I was really "in love" with her or just "infatuated".
     But, I can say that she stirred-up my emotions more than any girl has. Anyway... I wish the best to you and your hubbie.
     ... that could have been me and her... if...
     I bet ya have a very cute baby boy...
Chinese-Caucasian guy reminiscing of his "Greatest Love"...

I'm lucky enough to have met my husband online, he's a wonderful and gorgeous Chinese/American man. The hardest part is being separated from him because of his work in the military, but still, our relationship is getting better everyday.

It's hard when you don't know if he/the asian male is telling the truth and also if he still loves you even though there's no more contact being made.
shatteredheart86@yahoo.com

To Ja-caucasion female married to a chinese-caucasian male :
that is so romantic with the candles and all, but what if you burnt the beach down? hehehe. and wouldn't the candles distract from the natural lighting of the moon and the stars?

Hmm... I'm a 16 year old Chinese girl who has a boyfriend who lives in a different town who is 20... it's tricky, but we're managing.
music_lover888@hotmail.com

I am 21 years old and i been with my asian boyfriend for 9 years. i love him dearly and wish to marry him one day. sometimes i feel as if he is taking me for granted though. i dont know what to do to make him appreciate me more.....
AF, 21

The most romantic thing my man ever did for me was he took me to an isolated beach at night and lit candles in the pattern saying, "There are a million things I want, but all I need is you. Marry me." We have been married for three years and we have a baby boy!
Japanese-Caucasian woman married to Chinese-Causcasian Man

I met my boyfriend at a bar.We have been together for 3 years and I love him dearly.It never bothered me that her was 24 years my senior, but it sure did bother my father.Until my man proved to my dad that he would never hurt me and would always love me.I know that he is the love of my life. --gin&juice

The great thing about California is so many guys to choose from! --Chinese American Female, 23

Chi Town: that girl is probably YOU, and i think that you are pretty dumb, but it's ok to be dumb and stupid as you are because many people in this world are dumb, and we can't kill all of them off unfortunately.
but one day you will see what you are doing, (if you are too blind to see it now); and if reason, rationale and advice from family and friends don't affect you, TIME will. the guy is probably just using you for sex until he gets sick and tired of you, then he'll find some other girl better than you to pay off her rent too. too bad for you girlfriend --me, 19

QUESTION: A girl pisses off her parents, leaves to be with a guy (with an unknown criminal past and a child he does not support) who is paying for her rent. She decides she loves him and plans to marry him soon. Do you think she is making a bad decision given her financial and emotional dependence on him? --Chi-Town: AOCAOC@hotmail.com

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