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GOLDSEA | ASIAMS.NET | POLL & COMMENTS

CHALLENGES OF ASIAN AMERICAN TEENS
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 04:07:51 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

What is the biggest problem faced by Asian American teens?
Pressure from parents to excel academically | 79%
Identity conflicts related to growing up a minority | 19%
Problems related to dating & sex | 2%
Gang influence, pressure & violence | 0%

What of these is the most common mistake made by Asian parents?
Not spending enough time with their kids | 18%
Pushing kids too hard for good grades | 34%
Being too strict in controlling kids' behavior | 45%
Neglecting the kids' social or cultural development | 3%

What factor contributes most to helping Asian teens grow up to be productive, well-adjusted adults?
Stable home environment | 93%
Cultural bias favoring academic success | 3%
Advantages provided by above-average affluence | 4%


This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
is the mesa girl still here?
my family is thinking of moving to mesa. how is it for a 14 yo asian girl?
we're mormon
yellowfever    Monday, December 30, 2002 at 19:52:25 (PST)    [146.18.173.71]
Recently i just got a nice new mp3 player and clothes and all this nice s*!* for my b-day, dec. 17 and christmas. then my dam report card came in and after they saw those two C's they was like "wtf, is this the best u can do, u said u were doing good in school". They took all the gifts, money from relatives, clothes, EVERYTHING i got and said that i aint gettin sh!t till i show them straight mutha f**!n A's on my report card. They said that i lost their trust in me and for me to not ask of any fu*!n thing until i can prove to them i am not an idiot. Well, honestly i think i am an idiot and they gotta realize that i aint like them. Im not guna graduate in the best fu*!n school they got on earth like 'my dad did.' Asian parents gota bak da f*** up and lower their standards for a son. also, they always be comparing me with there friends nerdass children. why they always gota compare me wit others? i beat da living s*** outa one of my moms friends kids and now im suspended for 2 days. my dad is like, 'u dont know how to do s***, thank god we have your brother, maybe he will be successful.' I cant hold all this bulls*** on my chest without taken action any more. somethins guna happen if they dont realize who i am. they cant possibly have a Fu*!n clue who i am. they dont take but a second to here how my day was, they dont give nothin about my social life, all they do is tear open my backpack everyday after school and see what grades i get on my homework. they seea B or lower, here comes the lecture, yellin and sometimes the stick if i talk back. Im pruod to be asian, pruod to be korean but u know what, the parents can die.
~02, dec. Friday da 13th~
KorEaNOUTlaw jinu@cox.net    Friday, December 13, 2002 at 20:38:24 (PST)    [68.5.194.58]
To Jon:

I noticed by your e-mail address that you are Pinoy, and want to tell you that you shouldn't feel depressed about loneliness - in NJ there's plenty of PIs around, but it may take a little more looking than it did for me here in CA.
I too, was kind of a loner throughout most of my life, and still find it difficult to connect and make friends. I look back at my high school and college experiences as the most special of my life - I've been out of college now nearly 10 years, and thought then how hard it would be to leave a world in which I was just starting to get comfortable. But take heart - there are many, many people out there who probably share the same passions as you do (you do have a hobby, don't you?) and would be happy to have someone to share experiences with. The closest friends I have are those who I share a love for collecting WW2 memorabilia with.
"B" as in "bictory"    Friday, December 13, 2002 at 00:15:00 (PST)    [63.98.74.2]
Wow, contratulations. Automatic-empathy! Hi, I'm a New Jersian for my whole entire life and going to a university here. I totally throw myself to the throes of "being in the shoes of the author." Most of my friends are pre-dominantly white. I even joined a fraternity. I couldn't date a white girl in college because I always knew my skin-color was an issue. I knew they would think those stereotypes or derogetory terms or the peers saying no. And, lonliness and depression is so bad - anti-depressants and therapy seems like a joke to me now. It got so bad, that I don't want to state in public how bad it is. Nowadays, I don't even bother anymore. Solitude is the reaction. It's not my choice.
Jon Pinoy9@aol.com    Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 07:37:08 (PST)    [205.188.209.41]
Ok, How am I to explain what it would be like to get older for you wet behind the ears teens?

Oh well, I can start by saying that It gets better with age for you all. Like a fine wine or aged cheese. It takes time.

Realistically, you are at the peak experiences of your life. You should take your time and explore your options and experience as much as you can out of life. Go and definately get your college degree so you can have a added step in life as a whole. Try to learn and experience as many hobbies or mental health breaks as they say. Think of when you are 80 or 90 years old, what kind of hobbies would you do?

One thing to keep in mind is to have good times with friends especially your own kind here in America. I didn't realize the importance of Asian Pride and culture until I was almost out of college. The first two years of college was lonely for me. I tried to make friends with everyone I know of every color but alas the pain of making friends in a predominately white college was hard and dating just white girls was next to impossible. I was frustrated and lonely and even rejected my asianess at times to fit in but it still didn't fill that void I had inside me. It gets harder too when you are walking alone in the University fields and hear the tower bell chiming and realize you are all alone there. No one to relate to you and added preceptions of isolation because of your skin color. I would have white friends but many of it was conditional and artifical and white girls were not accepting to date your skin color. I guess some of the few Asians there who were self rejecting to their culture could assimulate better than I could but I was proud of my heritage, just couldn't find anyone of my kind to relate to. It got pretty depressing and I was fed up but I decided to stick it out and graduate with a degree because that was what I was there for.

The third and fourth year was the best and that third year the campus decide to open their enrollment to more minorities (Finally!) and there was a huge flood of Asians from other states coming in especially from Hawaii and coastal states.
It wasn't until I decided to take asian studies classes and join a Asian American club that I realized that I could relate to people who felt the same way as I did. I had friends I could relate to and understand me as a Asian living in America. We had lots of fun in that club because we had dinner parties, dim sum trips, cultural events and parties! We had a member who was a DJ and had all his equipment in his dorm so we would hold parties at our Student union and have dance parties with other Asian clubs and International students organizations. After the parties we would usually help wrap things up and eat at Denny's. One semester we had a party every week. My social life was even better with new pretty Asian co-eds coming in every semester joining our happening group. Girlfriends left and right, Drinking and partying with friends, it was great!

I became a vice president in the club and we became a huge club. I could only stay in my school for another year or so before I had to graduate but those two years or so were defintely the best years of my life. I partied hard with no regrets because I knew once I got out it was the reality of the white world again and also the kind of friendships would never be the same outside of school.

I makes me sad to think back about those years when I was carefree and having fun and not a care in the world. I always remember the good times I had there and the friends I've made and how precious time really is. So you see, you should spend your time carefully and take it up on experiences that bring happiness in your life. Whether it is joining a club or being around people you feel comfortable with.

Don't waste your time with people who don't like you or put you down. You want to be with people you can enjoy and experience life with. For me it was being with other Asian Americans because they had the same feelings and goals that I have.
Life in and out of school    Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 01:18:51 (PST)    [65.59.21.235]
I actually have a few short Asian girlfriends that(during the time they had a white-boy fetish...which they don't any more and are now onto a Japanese/Korean fetish <--great huh. *sarcasm*)liked to date tall White guys because they hated being short and had a bit of an inferiority complex to White people. So...I really don't blame "Enjoy your Asianness" to have that idea. But of course not all short asian girls date tall white males for that reason, as "md" points out. That's why it's safest to not make any generalizations about groups of people, because then, it becomes a stereotype.

To be honest though, I am a 5'1 Taiwanese-Chinese girl, and (although I prefer dating Asian guys and want to marry Asian) I used to also admittingly like tall guys because my lack of height makes theirs so appealing to me. But now reflecting on all my highschool dances, 6'0 and above is just waaay to tall for me to the point that it's impractical! Practically all my dates were tall(and I usually went with whichever guy I was dating at the time) with the exeption of two dates. It was after those two dates that I realized that 5'7 is the perfect huggable and not to mention, "slow-dance -able" size for my height. 5'6 is the shortest I'd go for though, I still have a limit! (har har har)

...But in the end, an explosive personality makes up for anything, so what I'm saying here is all based on physicality alone anyways.
*****************************************
BAH so many complications in being a teenager! I'm so glad I'm out of highschool. But at 19, you're like stuck in between...you're past 18, the age that certifies you as an "adult", but you still can't drink and have one more year to go before you drop out of the "-teens"!

So at 19, you're no longer a teenager?
short abc college chick    Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 01:10:10 (PST)    [65.184.91.9]

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