Challenges of Asian American Teens | Asian American Poll

CHALLENGES OF ASIAN AMERICAN TEENS
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:07:49 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

What is the biggest problem faced by Asian American teens?
Pressure from parents to excel academically | 79%
Identity conflicts related to growing up a minority | 19%
Problems related to dating & sex | 2%
Gang influence, pressure & violence | 0%

What of these is the most common mistake made by Asian parents?
Not spending enough time with their kids | 18%
Pushing kids too hard for good grades | 34%
Being too strict in controlling kids' behavior | 45%
Neglecting the kids' social or cultural development | 3%

What factor contributes most to helping Asian teens grow up to be productive, well-adjusted adults?
Stable home environment | 93%
Cultural bias favoring academic success | 3%
Advantages provided by above-average affluence | 4%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Angry Teen,

I know how you feel. It sucks to lie and say you're going to the library or the museum when youjust want to go to the movies or the park to hang out.

It also sucks that you feel your mother is unreasonable. I felt the same way for a long time, and now that I'm in college, I find the discipline that my mother instilled in me to be the most life saving thing ever. With parties, guys, and booze all around me, I found it really easy to ignore because of that incessant voice in the back of my head going "Don't do that!" and I would buckle down and study.

She also may not be willing to accept that her "baby" is growing up. Yes...in her mind, you are still her baby. And she'll never let that go. (My mom still hasn't.) My mother always compared me to her...because I was just as impulsive, disobedient, reckless, and utterly stupid as she was. I learned from that too.

Maybe you can talk to your mother about how you feel. If you've been showing that you are responsible than you have every right to ask for more leniency and more freedom. If she still doesn't understand and you feel it to be absolutely necessary, maybe it's time for you to pack up and move out. You're 18 and you have that right.

Just...uh...try to leave on good terms.

You'll miss laundry day and home made meals after a while...

Trying to cope Thursday, October 11, 2001 at 21:50:39 (PDT)

Tired of it all,

Maybe you are. Whay change a winning formula. Look what happened to New Coke.
The BugerMan Tuesday, October 09, 2001 at 19:29:08 (PDT)

I'd like to comment on "asian concerned parent"'s remarks.

I respect your point of view, and where you are coming from. However, how do u know what is best for your child? As time changes, ideas changes as well. one person's ideal "sucess in life" may differ from another.

As for myself, I'm always bothered by Asian parents that are contemptous for having children to study art. I am an art major, and too often I have met others who have parents that scorn on their decision in life. Do they honestly think they know what is best for their kids, and waste the gifted talent that has been bestrowed upon them? Have they ever considered "will that make my child happy?"
I guess the issue of satisfying your parent's expectations can imply to other things, not just our decisions for schools. It can also impact on our relationships. I'm also bothered by parents (not just Asian) that scorns on inter racial relationships. Once again, I do not believe that some of those parents have considered what their ideas of happiness/sucess is from their child's point of view.
tired of it all. We need to change the way we think Saturday, October 06, 2001 at 23:23:20 (PDT)

I honestly can't stand my parents. I'm 18 years old and yet my mother still thinks she can control me. She won't let me have a life, and therefore if I ever want to hang out, I have to lie to her and say I'm studying. And she wonders why I have to lie to her so much. Geez, if she loosened up a bit and let me go out once a week everything would be fine. But nooo, I have to be on house arrest. My mother is the most unreasonable person I know. If she raised me well enough, she should be able to know I'm responsible enough to study and do my homework when I need to, and play when I want to. Asian parents need to know that their children are growing up in a totally different time, place, and society than they did. They need to respect that. Why keep comparing us to them when they were our age? Isn't the reason why they left their home countries to come to America was to allow their kids to have a better life? RAISING KIDS IN AMERICA IS NOT THE SAME AS RAISING KIDS IN ASIA. Get that through your thick heads!!!! Geez.
Angry Teen Saturday, October 06, 2001 at 13:43:17 (PDT)

As an Asian American college student, I have been blessed to have parents who didn't push me for grades. My mother and father have been extremely supportive of everything I do. They recognize my individuality, and they have encouraged me to pursue what I found interesting, not what they wanted. I am studying to be a Marine Biologist, and I know that if I decide to pursue something else, arts even, they will be behind me all the way. With all of my Asian friends, our parents have never pushed us to the snapping point over school. However, I think a lot of the pressure on Asian American kids today is put their by themselves. Because we are a minority, we are searching for our individuality. To feel like they belong, many Asian kids push themselves too hard. I think they feel the need to live up to society's views of Asians. The one thing that cannot be emphasized enough is, do what YOU want to do... Don't ever let anyone else make your decisions for you. If you take a wrong path along the way, learn from your own mistakes.
Nico~Phoenix Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 06:59:23 (PDT)

The comments that i have read are mostly from a teenager's point of view. Now here's an asian parent's point of view.

The reason why alot of asian parents put so much pressure on their kids is because we want them to have a good job from a good education. I grew up in vietnam being really really poor. I didn't have many of the material wealth that's enjoy by many of the asian kids in this country. I immigrated here and work like a dog for my 2 kids. That means ignoring stomach pains that are usually associated with my 16 hours a day job every day for the past 16 years. We just want what is best for our kids.

asian concerned parent Sunday, September 23, 2001 at 22:11:15 (PDT)

My parents are annoying, but who isn't. There aren't alot of Asian Americans where i live so there's really no one to compare myself to. I feel that i'm being treated unfairly by my parents but that's because they raise me the Asian way.
Jessica shuichic85@yahoo.com Thursday, September 20, 2001 at 18:12:51 (PDT)

Confused Korean Girl,

Damn girl... you MUST be confused. I don't blame ya, just get a life someday. Get your shit together. Peace.

Secure Korean Dude Wednesday, September 19, 2001 at 07:08:47 (PDT)

Well I'm a 15 year old Asian American. I see myself as an individualistic Asian American (not your average "Asian'). My friends, who are Filipino, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, and other decents, try to break out of the "model minority" stereotype and other stereotypes that face our race. Me and my friends do well in school, go and hang out,go to raves, underground hip hop shows, and other things. My point is Asians haven't contributed their own ingredients in America's culture like how the Africans have done with hip-hop and Jazz. Today's Asian American is an alienated individual only trying to be its own. Searching to belong. I see a lot of asian in the rave scene now and claim that its our scene now.

My mom has always supports me in everything I do and she came from the Philippines when she was in her early 20's. She is not your typical Asian American mom because unlike other Asian American moms, she was a single mother to 3 children who are very successful and kept us healthy and good after all these years without the help of my dad or her family. What my mom expects from me is to be happy in what ever I do and live my own dreams. She believes in my siblings and I because she herself gave up her own dreams to be a good mom. She could have been a fashion designer, own her own store, or be a doctor. I feel so sorry for my mom but I'm happy because she's happy that we love her.
Individualistic Asian Boy Beatxaddik@aol.com Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 20:04:20 (PDT)

forgive the unfocused comments. My parent's aren't taht bad, they let me go out once a week, and gave me a car. Are ok w/ my white girlfriend. what bugs me is how inconsistant they are. sometimes someting will make them go berserk, sometimes nothing will. I never know. I have to be a different person around them, which i hate. the worst, however, is how they argue w/ me. somehting ticks them off, then they dreg up things from weeks prior, which jsut makes me feel horrible, and them worked up. they're coming in, bye
StuporMunky, Viet-Amer Guy Sunday, September 16, 2001 at 11:37:32 (PDT)

I'm so greatful that i have such an incredible relationship with my parents because they realize that this isn't korea anymore..what im going through is a bit more distorted..my identity crisis.....i have a fascination for white boys..but i realize that our morals are so different...that's my problem.. are other asian american girls feeling this way? or maybe it's just me...i kinda gave up on korean guys a while ago.....no offense

Confused Korean girl Sunday, September 16, 2001 at 11:25:21 (PDT)

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