Challenges of Asian American Teens | Asian American Poll

CHALLENGES OF ASIAN AMERICAN TEENS
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:07:47 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

What is the biggest problem faced by Asian American teens?
Pressure from parents to excel academically | 79%
Identity conflicts related to growing up a minority | 19%
Problems related to dating & sex | 2%
Gang influence, pressure & violence | 0%

What of these is the most common mistake made by Asian parents?
Not spending enough time with their kids | 18%
Pushing kids too hard for good grades | 34%
Being too strict in controlling kids' behavior | 45%
Neglecting the kids' social or cultural development | 3%

What factor contributes most to helping Asian teens grow up to be productive, well-adjusted adults?
Stable home environment | 93%
Cultural bias favoring academic success | 3%
Advantages provided by above-average affluence | 4%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

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Jade,
I think many asians (all genders) must take a step back and realize that not all interracial relationships are born out of self-hatred and racism directed at one's own kind. You don't seem like a person who harbors ill-feelings towards asian males in general and therefore, I doubt any of the comments directed at you in that rant post were deserved. However, keep in mind that the door swings both ways and neither side of the issue is always completely correct. Hypocricy can happen on both fronts. An Asian Male can think that it's OK for him to date other races while condemning Asian Females who do the same thing. Yet, an Asian Female can accuse Asian Males of being racist and sexist, however NOT realizing her own subtle prejudice. Whatever the case, such thinking is completely unjustified. You're lines,

"HE SAID: oh, by the way, have you ever even date an asian guy?

You cant even spell properly. It should be 'dated' not date.

An for your information: yes."

IS REALLY ALL I needed to hear. My fight is NOT with those like yourself, but with those who are racist against their own kind, thereby dating an ethnicity rather than a person. Don't let some asian males spoil your view of us. There are many that are just as level headed as yourself.
Thanks,

Kevin Yang Wednesday, November 28, 2001 at 10:27:20 (PST)

Quick pseudo-poll: How many people here attended a language school? Saturday mornings or after-school program? Do you feel it helped at all (e.g. could you make friends with a non-English speaker by use of your language skills?)

In the end I think you can't fully learn a culture just relying on members of the older generation --- it has to be something that is practised among your friends as well.

I attended an after-school program for 2 years while in middle school ... absolute rubbish. The teachers showed a complete lack of understanding of the fact that we are not in the homeland surrounded by Chinese-speakers 24 hours a day and thus need practice speaking and constructing complex ideas in the classroom, not just listening to them ramble and imitating how they write. I eventually learned both reading and speaking just fine from a bunch of FOBs during my high school years ... take heart, it is possible to go from Saturday-level school illiteracy (e.g. look at me, I can read 150 characters! that's 6 times as many as the English alphabet!) to reading material aimed at the level of entering high-schoolers in about 6 months if you have enough pressure from your friends. If you already speak fine and want to improve your reading speed, I suggest watching non-Chinese TV dramas on VCD which are subtitled in Chinese (e.g. Japanese and Korean programs) ... at first you will be using freeze-frame a lot and it might not be fun, but it gets better as you go along.
T.H. Lien Wednesday, November 28, 2001 at 10:23:33 (PST)

Jade Chow & asian Dominatrix,

I am not threatened by Asian women with white men, just annoyed sometimes that they would feel special that they are dating outside of their race. You know what I'm talking about... that look in their face, the smirk. What is THAT about? It's so pathetic. I date white women a lot (that is my preference, white or Asian women), and I never showboat my WF companions in front of AFs. I consider it common courtesy not to rub it in their faces. Yet some AFs seem to have a propensity for doing that. I could care less who they date, but their attitude is quite annoying.
Not Threatened. Tuesday, November 27, 2001 at 11:52:05 (PST)

On passing culture:
In my school in CA there are many AA teens and few who were born in the US can speak Mandarin/Taiwanese/Cantonese ect fluently. Passing culture on to the next generation is hard, but many parents try with some sucess by sending kids to Chinese school, cultural/church functions. My own parents send me to Chinese school and drag me to lunar new year or double-ten day celebrations/ performances held by the local Taiwanese association. While I often do not want to go to these long and sometimes boring activities, I do appreciate my parents efforts to enculturate me. I'd like to take this opportunity to encourage parents to take their children to cultural activities and thank my own parents for giving me the opportunity to know my own background.

Jenkai (AA teen) Monday, November 26, 2001 at 18:34:42 (PST)

Jade Chow,

You rule. I totally respect you for defending yourself in the right way, there are just some close-minded people who go to Goldsea who are judgemental as hell. People can date whoever they want to, because it's the personality and relationship that matters, not the race! It's been good reading about you by you.

16-year-old girl Friday, November 16, 2001 at 22:20:46 (PST)

Jade:
Wait until you try to teach your future mixed-race kids Chinese language and try to get them to conform to Chinese behaviour when they're around other Chinese people.
I have never personally met a mixed-race Chinese person raised in the U.S. who was truly socialised to Chinese culture, let alone who could hold up a conversation in Chinese or read a junk magazine. The only ones I hear of are exceptions which prove the rule (those who went back to Taiwan every summer for the past 10 years, or were raised by their grandparents, etc.)

Asian people succeed because we are willing to subsume our personal interests and immediate desires to an ethic and a code of conduct which in large part is enforced by the community, i.e. other Asians --- parents, relatives, friends, and social norms. Remember "It takes a village to raise a child." This implies a certain level of conformity, which may be looked down on by Western society but is really an essential part of our success. Someone who in the end is not willing to submit him or herself to the judgment of that community won't have all the qualities you mentioned to make us Asian people so successful. I had decisions and choices to make too. I myself could choose voluntarily to be a member of my community and submit to its values only as a result of my upbringing, which convinced me that I would be far worse off outside it than inside it.

I love and honor my ancestors and my culture by trying to pass the language on to as many other Chinese-Americans around me who are trying to learn it. If I had been raised at home by my white father and Asian mother I couldn't be like this. My sister who was raised at home by them speaks and reads NO Chinese.

Finally, I enjoy participating in these discussion boards because, unlike most other Asian-oriented forums (*cough* AsianAvenue *hack*), people try to avoid ad hominem attacks, amateur psychoanalysis, playing to the gallery, etc. I'd hate to see this phenomenon take over here but it looks like it's growing, despite allegations of moderation ...
T.H. Lien (Cantonese-speaking mixed-race Chinese) Tuesday, November 13, 2001 at 12:25:16 (PST)

Jadechow:

You have to understand there are lots of losers on this board who go insane at the idea of a successful Asian woman in a relationship with a white man. Whereas it's perfectly OK for an Asian man to be hitting it with a white woman while, moreover, insulting Asian women into the bargain. I've seen a lot of it here.

Anyway, kudos to you in your law career--and in the UK, no less! I've lived in England for 7 years and KNOW how difficult it is since many people there still don't believe in equal rights and opportunities.

Asian Dominatrix Tuesday, November 13, 2001 at 12:04:34 (PST)

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