Challenges of Asian American Teens | Asian American Poll

CHALLENGES OF ASIAN AMERICAN TEENS
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:07:43 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

What is the biggest problem faced by Asian American teens?
Pressure from parents to excel academically | 79%
Identity conflicts related to growing up a minority | 19%
Problems related to dating & sex | 2%
Gang influence, pressure & violence | 0%

What of these is the most common mistake made by Asian parents?
Not spending enough time with their kids | 18%
Pushing kids too hard for good grades | 34%
Being too strict in controlling kids' behavior | 45%
Neglecting the kids' social or cultural development | 3%

What factor contributes most to helping Asian teens grow up to be productive, well-adjusted adults?
Stable home environment | 93%
Cultural bias favoring academic success | 3%
Advantages provided by above-average affluence | 4%

This poll is closed to new input.
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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Eee alot of u suggest phoenix tears to bulk up...
EEEE ho wut dut arrr
He'll be like those miny steroid monsters by stunting his growth at such a young age.I think that makes a bad bad image of asian ppl.Who says we are short anyway? (I know I know, alot do, but they think chinese are like filipinos lol) TALL TALL TALL
baglat Saturday, February 23, 2002 at 20:17:24 (PST)

Phoenix Tears,

Hey, sorry about the situation you're in right now,I am in college now so I don't have to deal with that anymore. There use to be this white dude in middle school that use to mess with everybody, including me, once I couldn't take him anymore and I stood up to him and that's it, and yeah he call me a chink too. And there used to be another black guy that like to ran his mouth, and I jump him and that's the end of it too. I think I know what you mean by you don't want to call people of other race name eventhough they aren't as considerate as you in this regard.

Just hang in there, Weights helps, but I started weights when I was in high school because I was a loner and I feel that I need to be strong so that I'll be able to stand up for myself. I was eventually able to do that. But it stunted my growth because I didn't know how to do it right. Maybe you can try out for a sport, you know, like boxing or baseball, or any other sports you might be interested in, something to do to take your mind off this mess..

Drifter yfu@rice.edu Saturday, February 23, 2002 at 19:59:05 (PST)

Fight On:

You are an ill person. "You can still call a Nigger a Nigger". What the hell are you talking about? That's a f***ed up comment.

I am African-American. The "N" word is the most despicable word in the English language. It makes my blood boil. I lose all sense of intellect and sobriety when I hear it.

You're a race-baiting son of a bitch.

However, I do strongly believe that Phoenix Tears does need to work out at the gym and don't take verbal, physical abuse from black guys, white guys, latino guys or any other guys.

Let me tell you something that has grieved me for nearly 4 years: On July 19, 1998, a 20-year old man (UC Berkeley student) was abducted from his apartment complex parking lot by three people. He was accosted, thrown into the trunk of his car and driven from Berkeley to Vallejo (California). His abductors drained his bank account, ran up credit card charges and took some of his personal belongings home with them. Upon arriving in Vallejo, this young man was shot in the head 3 times and left in an alley.

Some of you may have heard about this vicious attack, henous crime. The victim's name was Kenneth N. Ishida. He was Japanese-American. I don't know the race of the abductors; only their names. For someone to kill another person and then take their property home must have been completely void of emotion. I believe that the abductors may not have really thought of Kenneth as a human being - they probably saw him as an object. Someone who was part of the establishment. Someone who had something that they wanted. They didn't give a damn. Perfect candidates for the death penalty.

I can't tell you how angry that incident makes me. I'm furious that an innocent person can be victimized without any consideration for the victim, his family, his classmates and his friends.

I say to Phoenix Tears: Yes, get physically conditioned to defend yourself and don't take shit from guys who want to bully you around. But don't allow racism, anger or hatred to consume you. Get strong to deter agressors, but don't listen to crazy people like "Fight On". The guy is a sick weirdo.

Take care Phoenix Tears. Good luck to you. Turn your tears into determination.

P.S. Kenneth Ishida's family established a scholarship trust in honor of their son to benefit Asian American kids. If you're interested here's the info:

Kenneth N. Ishida Scholarship Fund
Ocean View United Church of Christ
3541 Ocean View Boulevard
San Diego, CA 92113

Geoff DB geoffdb02@aol.com Saturday, February 23, 2002 at 17:57:09 (PST)

Wow look at this flow of comments....well I do think some of the guys who says get an education then move back to China have a point..........its not the commie hell hole i moved out of its still commie but rich commie......thats why my parents are gonna send me back this summer for a look things surely changed alot according to my mom who made frequent trips I have never been back since I left 7 years ago....I agree with all of you guys' ignore them routine which I have used most of my life. But it does start to get to you when it happens to you everyday.....guess cuz I live in a white suburb...and ignoring doesnt stop them....i thought americans be more mature when their in highschool well i certainly proved myself wrong....
AzN MoFo pilotshinjiikaru@aol.com Saturday, February 23, 2002 at 15:52:50 (PST)

Thanks to all of you who had shared your "knowledge" with me.

I don't know if some of you already know this, but I am a girl. I don't come from Phoenix, AZ; "Phoenix*Tears" is just a name I really like. =)

I watched a special presentation on ABC, over "Social Cruelty." It was devastating to see little kids, no older than 4 or 5, would make fun or physically abuse other children. The same pattern follows to elementary, middle, and high school. I'm sure that all of you had understood the "social levels" during your high school career: There are the popular crowd, mostly made up of jocks, cheerleaders, etc.; then there is the "gothics," who usually wear black clothing, chains, and piercings. Then there are the "smart" people, who are usually involved in the Student Council and decide next school dance's decorations. And yet...if you do not fit in any of the groups, you are casted as an "outsider." Ironically, the same situation occurs when you're adults.

To "Fight On"---I have lost my temper twice, and quite unfortunately, the second time I yelled at a senior who was being very immature and mean to me. What I received in return was the opposite of respect and fear; in fact, because he was a senior in our section (in band) and older than the rest of us, he influenced all the other people to dislike and disrespect me. I have apologized to him, and yet he doesn't seem to forgive me. Thankfully, I have many friends outside of my section, and they have supported me and taken my side, so him and his "followers" don't usually disrespect me in my face; but I know they bad-mouth me behind my back. They don't realize this, but it really hurts. No matter how my friends tell me I shouldn't care about stupid & ignorant people's opinions about me, the truth is...everyone cares about how people think of you.

I pray every night, for peace, happiness, and justice. And yet, sometimes, I feel so hopeless and impossible...people will never truly get along and love one another without prejudice, grudges, or hatred. Perhaps I sound really cheesy or weird, but this is the way I feel.

AzMoFo, I want you to know that I DO know how you feel: have gone through your horrible encounters, and still experiencing...but it's very rare now. If only people like us could go to the same school and stick together, those ignorant people would not have bothered us.

Phoenix*Tears Friday, February 22, 2002 at 18:11:03 (PST)

AzN MoFo,

I feel your pain, brother. Don't let those taunts get you down. Now you mentioned that you are in 9th and sport 5'10" & 165#. Good. Hit the gym and work on your biceps, triceps and chests. Get to 185# or 190#. Also, play basketball to push your height further.
FOP Friday, February 22, 2002 at 17:24:06 (PST)

AzN MoFo and Phoenix Tears,

what can i say? high school is painful especially when you are a minority. just get through it. it can not stand up for yourself physically, don't. just keep away from the troublemakers. also realize that the only reason you are in this place is not your own choice. your parents moved to this city/town and as a result you get schooled there.

so what can you do? wait it out. the first time you will have a choice is college. choose a college with a larger asian population. many good colleges do especially the california, SUNY systems, and ivy leagues. do not let your parents influence you on your choice of college. there you will meet many asians with the same identity crisis. open up to them like you did in this forum. not only will it help get over this crisis, you will gain many friends that will be the base of your life's network.

and of course college is the first time you will be living without your parents. enjoy and use that time wisely to learn what is best for yourself.

realize that we are all born in this world unable to think or choose for ourselves. so cherish and dont take for granted the first chance you get to decide for yourself. just wait it out and don't end up being a casualty.

finally you may also want to talk to your parents. ask them why they came to america (for you and your siblings or for themselves)? you may be surprised. in any case this can be the ice breaker that gives you and them insight into your dilemma. and hopefully it can improve your relationship with your parents.

its tough being a minority, but realize you really don't have choice. just play your best with whatever cards you are dealt.
whatever Friday, February 22, 2002 at 14:40:45 (PST)

FOP,

I wish we were that polite back then. The conversation was as bad as a Chow Sing-Chi HK movie. Cursing, death threats, etc. When the leader of the Black kids realised they were dealing with some hardcore asian, that they back off and apologized.

Phoenix*Tears,

Not to be sexist but are you male or female? When I first offered advise I assumed you were male. But looking at your stats and handle I'm not too sure now. Well in any event don't follow my example of jumping into physical confrontations.
AC Dropout Friday, February 22, 2002 at 11:12:19 (PST)

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