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ASIAN AMERICAN WOMEN
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:06:20 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

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WHAT YOU SAY

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Asian Dominatrix,

"...but others might feel not only that it's an intrusion on their privacy but also a sign of male power."

A sign of male power? How's that, I've never felt more powerful when I'm staring at some girl.

"..well-dressed, and professional-looking guy stares but feel offended if the guy is much less than hot. (Read fat and disgusting or geeky.)"

I thought women digged personality over looks. Why is it that the fat and ugly are less worthy to stare than the Lusciously gorgeous. I thought this land was all about freedom and equal opportunity. Hey who knows, maybe that lame fatty could be prince charming on the inside (although they're usually annoying little freaks).

Anyway, thanx for the reply I see things more clear now. By the way, are u an Ivy leaguer? u sure sound like one, I could be wrong though
ck Friday, July 19, 2002 at 15:46:18 (PDT)

A Dom,

Which magazines and newspapers are you referring to? I've never heard of these
"American men stealing our women" headlines.

Maybe some British men aren't as upfront as American men (nothing wrong with that) but to suggest that newspapers are whinging constantly about "more and more British women are falling for American men" is nonsense.

It all depends on how you look at it - American men are often percieved (rightly or wrongly) as cocky and arrogant. Of course many Americans would think this is crap, just as Brits would think that this 'stiff upper lip' stereotype is outdated and certainly does NOT apply to vast majority of British men!

In my own experience, whenever a guy was interested in me, he would simply approach with a nice smile and offer to buy a drink and make easy chit-chat. He would NOT swagger up to me thinking he was God's gift to women (which is a COMPLETE turn-off and unfortunately, another stereotype of the American male). My female friends will tell you similar stories.

Us British girls are perfectly happy with our men, thank you.
UK! Friday, July 19, 2002 at 07:21:34 (PDT)

message to the girl who says "im way to curvy" she wrote that she is bottom heavy. i would like to speak with you.
gev blkhulk@excite.com Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 02:07:56 (PDT)

ck,

I think it depends on the individual woman. Many women probably feel flattered when they are being stared at by a man, but others might feel not only that it's an intrusion on their privacy but also a sign of male power.

There are a lot of other factors involved. For instance, what sort of male is doing the staring? Rightly or wrongly, most women don't mind it when a cute, well-dressed, and professional-looking guy stares but feel offended if the guy is much less than hot. (Read fat and disgusting or geeky.)

Then it also depends on the woman's self assessment that particular day. If she feels less than attractive--and BTW, this afflicts beautiful women as well--she might just think that the starer is staring at her for looking weird and/or ugly. That's why it's best for you to smile at a woman if you do find her attractive.

Where and when make a big difference, too. If she's walking in a secluded area, she might feel threatened. In this day of mad stalkers and rapists, many, if not most, women are not going to give any signals which might be misconstrued as encouragement.
Asian Dominatrix Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 09:27:20 (PDT)

Asian Dominatrix,

I agree with some of what you say. It is true that most women like guys who have decent personal hygiene....HAHAHA!!! What woman doesn't. I also find that if you're not all that great looking but know how to carry yourself (dress well and show cleanliness) and have charisma then you will be ok with most women.
But on the part about staring, it seems very difficult for most guys not to stare at a woman that they are attracted too. It is also difficult to approach a woman if you look in her direction and she acts uninterested.

I guess some women find men looking at them as a negative thing. I had a girlfriend who always told me that she didn't like being looked at because she said that "its scary when guys constantly stare". Hmmm....Is that what some women think when we look their way? =)

A Cute Filipino Guy Who Knows Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 00:22:13 (PDT)

Asian Dominatrix,

Wait this isn't the 1920's in the USA. What would an Audrey Hepburn body type be worth in our society.

I know quite a few flatty in my life. They still wish they had more ample features.

On the converse I've know quite a few well endowed women that wanted the opposite.

I think this is a definitely a case of the grass being greener on the other side issue.
AC Dropout Friday, July 12, 2002 at 10:37:58 (PDT)

AC Dropout and Jay,

Of course, they do! Men are men--stiff in all places or none--they not only like looking at our assets but down them as well! That's why it would be great to be a flatty. (Plus, clothes hang better too.)

Hey, Jay, just saw a HOT hapa guy--serious chiselling, 6' and 160 (model?)--walking with his white dad and Asian mom.

This is when I forgot all my rules against staring. Maybe I've been writing about staring too much...?
Asian Dominatrix Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 18:37:32 (PDT)

Asian Dominatrix,
I'm just really puzzled about your point on staring. This is one of the things I've always been confused about. Do women take it as a bad thing when a guy stares at her? What do women usually think whenever a guy stares them? Do women usually feel flatered or insulted when a guy stares them?
I personally feel flatered when I notice that some girl is starting at me, and even more if she smiles.
ck Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 14:15:49 (PDT)

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