Exploiting the Asian Male Mystique

Much has been made of the fact that Asian American women enjoy frisson on the dating scene because of Hollywood’s exoticizing of us with characters like Nancy Quan as Suzie Wong, Leah Salonga as Miss Saigon, Ling Woo on Ally McBeal, Joan Chen on Twin Peaks, ad nauseum. Mysterious, skinny, sexy to the core.

News flash for my Asian brothers — non-Asian American women harbor similar notions about Asian men that should give you at least as much sizzle on the dating grill — if you choose to exploit it. I know because I’ve heard the girls talking.

Come on! What woman is immune to a man with absolute mastery over his emotions in a land crawling with hormone-fed meatballs with 90-second fuses? How many women dream of a man who can make their PCs hum and fix their credit ratings to boot? And stop complaining about all those chop-socky movies. Those wiry hardbodies look pretty damn good to babes who are tired of getting their arms around the Michelin Man. And how many women would kill to be running their fingers through a head of thick hair instead of patches of fine crabgrass?

Frankly, I’m sick of hearing you guys complain about how the deck is stacked against you because of all the stereotypes. I’m the first to agree that stereotypes suck, but when it comes to a head-to-head matchup, you guys win hands down. Yes, the truth is, the deck is stacked in your favor!

The only problem here is that you’ve been so busy griping about stereotypes that you never learned how to exploit them the way the smart men have been doing for years.

Do you think French men become debonair through osmosis? That Italian men are all born romantics? That Black men all come endowed with street smarts?

If you would stop focusing on the stereotypes, you would see that we all struggle with insecurities — regardless of what the stereotypes say we should be like. The only difference is that some of us make up our minds to win that struggle even when the going gets rough. Do you know how many of us Asian women despair of making our wiry black hair, skinny butts and moon faces look sexy? I, for one, needed more determination than I ever thought I had.

It takes practice to put it all together and persistence to keep it together. It’s like that joke: Excuse me, sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice practice!

So, my brothers, stop bitching and man up! The American dating scene is your oyster if you pick up some smarts and work with what god and Hollywood have given you. Yes, you CAN become the godsend so many women are suspecting you may be.